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Refuge for Sonic freaks too stupid to quit since 1997 September 27, 2004
Just a quick update to say that I've got Katamari Damacy and you probably don't! Nyaaah! This makes me a superior human being. The game, incidentally, is the best thing since lesbian porn. Starring your mom. If you come over to my house with beer and pizza, I might let you watch me play it. But only if I don't have to share the pizza. -- Green Gibbon!

September 12, 2004

So the mysterious "Project Rub" has been unveiled, ironically making it more mysterious than before. From the best we can ascertain in the forum, it's a game about the silhouette of some sexy lady who has to dance to shake off scorpions. Sounds good to me, but my heretical mind still fails to comprehend how any game where the only object is to rub the stylus pad can possibly be fun. The title is "Kimi no Tame Nara Shineru," which basically means "I would die for you." (Some reference to the scorpions, I guess.) Several observant individuals have pointed out that this looks (and sounds, judging by the website) as though it was birthed in the UGA side of Sonic Team. Whatever joy or evil ultimately results from this bizarre experiment, this is the first Sonic Team game to ever feature the silhouette of a sexy naked lady in the logo, and there is something to be said for that.

Moving on to other points of interest, one Psychobob has conducted some very thorough research on Sonic Team's old Central American vacation, which, of course, served as the inspiration for many of the stages in Sonic Adventure. Emerald Coast, Lost World, the ancient echidna village, Windy Valley, the Emerald altar, and Sand Hill were all based on actual locations south of the border. Check out On location with Sonic Adventure for the specifics. It is most enlightening. Also of interest, the Sonic Stadium has opened the voting for the Sonic Site Awards 2004. The fervent big_smile has been nominated for best reporter, and he friggin' deserves it, so let him know he's loved. The GHZ as a whole has been nominated for the elite awards, so if you're happy and you know it, cast your vote.

I've added even more info to the Sonic 1 page. There's now info on the Special Stage items, as well as some speculation on possible inspirations for Eggman's design. I've also updated the Sonic 1 8-bit, Sonic 2 8-bit, and Sonic 2 16-bit pages with the same level of info. The museum timeline and Sonic Café pages have also been updated.

Judging by the unfriendly e-mails I've been receiving, I'd wager there are those who have noticed that updates have been slow as of late. There is a very good reason for this. For those who are still unaware: this semester, I bid my not-so-fond farewell to this load of happy horseshit known as "higher education." Which means that I am currently waist deep in my senior thesis project. (I should be about chest deep at this point, but nevermind.) It's not that I'm so busy I have no free time at all, it's just that I'd rather use that time to, y'know, play games and wank and stuff. In fact, there is the very distinct possibility that this will be the last update until December. That's not to say it definitely will, but when the culmination of my undergraduate studies beckons, I have little choice but to answer. So if you load the page on Thanksgiving day and you're still seeing this same old text, it's not because I've died or abandoned the site. I humbly request that you do not e-mail me about it until Christmas. -- Green Gibbon!

August 10, 2004

I was torn when coloring the new logo. My first instinct was to fight the power and color Amy's eyelids in flesh tone, like they used to be and like (I think) they still should be. However, at the end of the day, I'm nothing more than a whore, so pink it is. Plus it was easier that way, and regardless of what I think of Sega's marketing research that evidently determined Sonic's eyelids would have more appeal if they were blue, laziness is a power too great for me to question. Anyway, here's the full-size version for those interested in such a thing.

It's been a bit longer than usual, but I actually have most of what I promised last time. The museum main page has been tidied up a bit, and now features a list of upcoming Sonic Team games along with their forecast release dates. The entire Sonic Café page has been updated and is probably a bit more accurate than it was prior. The Sonic Heroes page is finally up, though it's still lacking a couple of minor bits of info (the Japanese strategy guide didn't have as comprehensive a list of moves as I'd hoped). I'm sure I let a couple of cracks slip through, but in general I made an effort to write the page without the use of piercing sarcasm, as a service to those who actually liked the game. (It's wrong to make fun of the mentally retarded.) Finally, I've updated the Sonic 1 page, which I'm now confident contains such a ridiculous amount of info, there are things on there that absolutely nobody cares about except me. I actually discovered that there are two versions of Meleon, and it's both cool and unsettling to find something new in a game you've been playing for the past thirteen years. I've also added information on the arcade Mega-Tech and Mega Play versions of the game, which, as far as I know, were only released in Europe. Which is a pretty inconsequential continent to the rest of the world, but y'know. Historical relevance and all.

The Encyclopedia isn't quite ready yet, but the first group of entries (from Sonic 1) are underway. Ideally, those should be up by the end of the week or so, but realistically, they'll be up God-only-knows when. And he hates me.

Over in the forum, where things have been considerably more active than on the front page, gr4yJ4Y, whose unwieldy moniker I guess I have to forgive, brought this 1up interview with Naoto Oshima to attention. The father of Sonic turned perpetrator of Blinx doesn't have anything particularly interesting to say, but he's at least looking a bit healthier these days. Maybe Blinx 2 won't suck. Maybe.

Of similar interest, Vlad the Vampire of French Sonic site Sonic Online scanned the Japanese manuals for Sonic & Tails 2 and Sonic Labyrinth, which I believe were the last two Game Gear manuals missing from our collection. Thanks to Crazy Penguin and big_smile, the scans have been uploaded for all to peruse right here. As expected, the manuals include previously unknown information such as enemy names and the original profile of fan favorite Fang the Sniper. All the info will find its way onto the site as soon as I get around to it. -- Green Gibbon!

July 16, 2004

I finally got some loans approved, about $3000 worth, most of which is necessary for my last crop of academic expenses. Of course it just figures that I'd stumble across this. I don't really know how rare or populous Samba 2000 machines are in the used arcade market, but either way, $2500 is a deal and a half. It kills me that I may never have such an opportunity ever again, but somebody could walk up and offer to sell me a country for $200, I'd still have to turn it down because I don't have $200. All I can do is ask that somebody with money please buy this machine and have it properly preserved.

The Sonic Heroes page is basically finished. Big Smile has a copy of the Japanese strategy guide on the way, so we're just kind of waiting for that so we can make sure the information is accurate and complete. That out of the way, I've finally begun converting the glossary into the Sonic Encyclopedia. The Heroes museum page and the first entries in the encyclopedia should be ready for the next update (whenever that may be). If you need something now, I've added a couple more tweaks to the museum timeline, and have completely overhauled the cameos page. I should probably also brush up the museum index page and the Sonic Café page before I begin undertaking the encyclopedia... -- Green Gibbon!

July 3, 2004

After over four years as a semi-autonomous subsidiary, during which time it produced a single good game, SONICTEAM Ltd is once again just plain Sonic Team, under total control of Sega Corporation. The website has been stripped down to the game pages and will presumably be closed completely in the near future. There's a quiz contest to win some pins and the announcement of a music CD featuring various Sonic Team songs from a live performance that took place on March 30 (this is the first I'd heard of it). The tag line is "sayonara, Sonic Team; konnichiwa, Sonic Team," which suggests they'll continue using the "Sonic Team" name, though I wonder, with the impending restructuring, how long the entity once known as AM8 will even last.

I got Sonic Advance 3, which is... well, it's a Sonic Advance game: slightly above mediocre, quite a far shot from good. Here's my little review as posted in the forum a few days ago:

The biggest new complaint is that Sonic's acceleration is based on how many Rings he's holding. Apparently, this was also true of Advance 2, but I never even noticed it there, and here it's painfully obvious. At the beginning of the stage, Sonic controls like a wet sack of manure, and when you do finally collect enough Rings to embue him with some semblance of maneuverability, he moves too fast, which makes platform jumping situations trickier than they should be. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but I really prefer it when my character's maneuverability doesn't shift every time he takes damage.

The next big issue are the visuals. Goddamn, but this may well be the ugliest Sonic game ever, and that includes G Sonic. I look at a stage like Toy Kingom and I start realizing that this series has lost something it's never going to get back. The seizure-inducing graphics aren't made more bearable by the fact that everything's super sized. Much like Sonic & Tails on the Game Gear, you can never see enough of your surroundings to be comfortable.

The pair system is, as expected, just a gimmick. Basically, your teammate gives you access to a unique move or two, but it's not hard to decide who you should bring along: almost all the new moves are impractical and useless. All you have to do is find the partner who gives your character the same moves he's always had. Or you can just team up with Cream who gives you the ability to fling Cheese. (It's hard to imagine why anyone would want to pair up with Amy, who takes away your ability to automatically spin when jumping.)

On the bright side, the horribly dysfunctional rolling bosses are gone. The new ones still manage to be too frustrating, but the good news is you don't have to finish Act 2 every time you want to play them again, plus you only ever have to defeat each one once. (There are only a couple of them I think I'd ever get the urge to fight again.) The new robot, Gmerl, is totally redundant. Basically, you encounter him 4 or 5 times over the course of the game, and he's got the same basic, Mecha Sonic-esque attacks every time, plus a new one. Either way, he can be trashed in two seconds flat if you're willing to lose your Rings.

We're back to 3 Acts per Zone now, which is definitely a good thing, and there's even musical variations for each one, but I wish there some visual differentiation as well. One of my favorite things about S&K is that things changed between Acts, so you could tell you were still in the same Zone, but there was visual differentiation to keep it fresh. The level design, by and large, is better than the previous two Advance games, but still suffers from poor object placement that results in alot of cheap hits. The spike traps are out of control, now. It isn't clever design to place a set of spikes, as Squirrelknight put it, "everywhere it makes sense to stand." Also, the early Zones are alright, but by the time you get to level 5 or so, the possibility of falling to your doom makes you afraid to run at max speed. It's especially bad in Chaos Angel, which otherwise would probably be the coolest, most appealing new stage in the game.

I am, however, extremely pleased to see the return of the various devices that littered the lands in Sonic 3. Each Zone has a few unique speed or momentum-gaining contraptions, and it's usually pretty obvious just by looking at them how you're supposed to use them. Kudos to Dimps for that, at least.

I haven't actually played any Special Stages yet, but I still think the "find the Chao" entrance system is the best idea they've had since Sonic 3's "find the giant Rings." Like the puzzle mode in Sonic Pocket, it gives you reason to go back and explore the stages, plus, since every Chao you find is saved permanently, it's significantly less frustrating than the 7 emblems bullshit of Advance 2. Frankly, I even like this better than the "have 50 Rings at the end of an Act" gig.

The hub areas between stages become a nuisance very quickly. It's easy to keep lives stock-piled by playing the dull mini games accessible from these areas, but I would've rathered if your player count was simply recorded in your save data like it used to be.

All in all, while I think there's alot to be said for losing the pin-point precision system employed by Advance 2, Advance 3 still lacks the depth and creativity of the 16-bit days. It isn't as out and out frustrating as its predecessor, but it still just isn't a whole lot of fun, and I think three chances has been plenty enough to get it right.

I've made a few more adjustments to the museum timeline. I'm in the middle of summer classes while still working on my senior project and struggling to fend off the furious assault of laziness, so that's why things are slow here. The Sonic Heroes page is in progress, and immediately after that I'll start the Sonic Advance 3 page or begin the vaunted restructuring of the glossary. Just for the record, grammatically atrocious hate mail isn't going to encourage me to update any faster. -- Green Gibbon!

June 20, 2004

I stumbled across this rather unusual project, and thought I'd made a discovery. So I posted the find in the forum and everyone's all like: "Yeah, jackweed, we've known about that for years." I can't begin to imagine what else they've never bothered to tell me, but in case there's anyone else as far back on the geek bus as I apparently am, there it is. It's a most impressive feat of unnecessary labor, and the photography isn't half bad independent of the juxtaposed ReSaurus figures. I'm particularly impressed with that quite successful Amy cosplayer.

I suppose next I'll find out about some rabbit that balances taiyaki on its head.

Speaking of the new forum, it seems to have taken root quite well. As of now, we have nearly 120 registered members, a solid 30 or 40 of whom actively participate. We've already degenerated to topics about underwear laundering habits and the biological classification of platypi. The most enlightening aspect is watching how quickly relevant topics degenerate into mass insanity, so if nothing else, we've offered concrete evidence for chaos theory. Speaking of which, I've decided to utilize the forum to revive the fabled weekly poll of GHZ lore. Please feel free to participate in our sociological experiment.

Sonic Advance 3 was released in Japan a few days ago and has been out in the US since last month, but it's been sneaking around cyberspace since February or something. I suppose I'll eventually have to play it, though I'm none too eager to sit down with Dimps' latest serving of Sonic mediocrity. Toy Kingdom? Toy Kingdom?! I mean... Toy Kingdom?! Music Plant was going too far, but now we've reached the point of no return. And I'm told that's not even the ugliest stage in the game. How I long for the days of Spring Yard and Collision Chaos.

Big Smile discovered something interesting: although no official announcements have been made, it seems that Sonic Mega Collection Plus and the PC version of Sonic Heroes have disappeared from Sega Japan's release list. Hm...

I've beefed up the museum timeline a bit. Now there's box art and screenshots, a few more tidbits, and some incorrect dates have been shifted. There's still some vital info missing, mostly European release dates and box art. For the Master System games in particular, all I have are the Latin American release dates as alleged by Sonic Jam, but I'm pretty sure those box covers are of the European versions. I'm thinking about adding a "requests" section with a bullet list of all the info that's missing from the site. That way if anyone has anything to contribute, it'll be easy to glance and see what's missing. Hopefully we'll be able to fill in missing data more quickly that way, though it'll take me a while to sift through the site and see exactly what we don't already have.

By the way, here's the full-size version of the logo sketch, if anyone wants a looksee. -- Green Gibbon!

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