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Refuge for Sonic freaks too stupid to quit since 1997 August 10, 2004

I was torn when coloring the new logo. My first instinct was to fight the power and color Amy's eyelids in flesh tone, like they used to be and like (I think) they still should be. However, at the end of the day, I'm nothing more than a whore, so pink it is. Plus it was easier that way, and regardless of what I think of Sega's marketing research that evidently determined Sonic's eyelids would have more appeal if they were blue, laziness is a power too great for me to question. Anyway, here's the full-size version for those interested in such a thing.

It's been a bit longer than usual, but I actually have most of what I promised last time. The museum main page has been tidied up a bit, and now features a list of upcoming Sonic Team games along with their forecast release dates. The entire Sonic Café page has been updated and is probably a bit more accurate than it was prior. The Sonic Heroes page is finally up, though it's still lacking a couple of minor bits of info (the Japanese strategy guide didn't have as comprehensive a list of moves as I'd hoped). I'm sure I let a couple of cracks slip through, but in general I made an effort to write the page without the use of piercing sarcasm, as a service to those who actually liked the game. (It's wrong to make fun of the mentally retarded.) Finally, I've updated the Sonic 1 page, which I'm now confident contains such a ridiculous amount of info, there are things on there that absolutely nobody cares about except me. I actually discovered that there are two versions of Meleon, and it's both cool and unsettling to find something new in a game you've been playing for the past thirteen years. I've also added information on the arcade Mega-Tech and Mega Play versions of the game, which, as far as I know, were only released in Europe. Which is a pretty inconsequential continent to the rest of the world, but y'know. Historical relevance and all.

The Encyclopedia isn't quite ready yet, but the first group of entries (from Sonic 1) are underway. Ideally, those should be up by the end of the week or so, but realistically, they'll be up God-only-knows when. And he hates me.

Over in the forum, where things have been considerably more active than on the front page, gr4yJ4Y, whose unwieldy moniker I guess I have to forgive, brought this 1up interview with Naoto Oshima to attention. The father of Sonic turned perpetrator of Blinx doesn't have anything particularly interesting to say, but he's at least looking a bit healthier these days. Maybe Blinx 2 won't suck. Maybe.

Of similar interest, Vlad the Vampire of French Sonic site Sonic Online scanned the Japanese manuals for Sonic & Tails 2 and Sonic Labyrinth, which I believe were the last two Game Gear manuals missing from our collection. Thanks to Crazy Penguin and big_smile, the scans have been uploaded for all to peruse right here. As expected, the manuals include previously unknown information such as enemy names and the original profile of fan favorite Fang the Sniper. All the info will find its way onto the site as soon as I get around to it. -- Green Gibbon!

July 16, 2004

I finally got some loans approved, about $3000 worth, most of which is necessary for my last crop of academic expenses. Of course it just figures that I'd stumble across this. I don't really know how rare or populous Samba 2000 machines are in the used arcade market, but either way, $2500 is a deal and a half. It kills me that I may never have such an opportunity ever again, but somebody could walk up and offer to sell me a country for $200, I'd still have to turn it down because I don't have $200. All I can do is ask that somebody with money please buy this machine and have it properly preserved.

The Sonic Heroes page is basically finished. Big Smile has a copy of the Japanese strategy guide on the way, so we're just kind of waiting for that so we can make sure the information is accurate and complete. That out of the way, I've finally begun converting the glossary into the Sonic Encyclopedia. The Heroes museum page and the first entries in the encyclopedia should be ready for the next update (whenever that may be). If you need something now, I've added a couple more tweaks to the museum timeline, and have completely overhauled the cameos page. I should probably also brush up the museum index page and the Sonic Café page before I begin undertaking the encyclopedia... -- Green Gibbon!

July 3, 2004

After over four years as a semi-autonomous subsidiary, during which time it produced a single good game, SONICTEAM Ltd is once again just plain Sonic Team, under total control of Sega Corporation. The website has been stripped down to the game pages and will presumably be closed completely in the near future. There's a quiz contest to win some pins and the announcement of a music CD featuring various Sonic Team songs from a live performance that took place on March 30 (this is the first I'd heard of it). The tag line is "sayonara, Sonic Team; konnichiwa, Sonic Team," which suggests they'll continue using the "Sonic Team" name, though I wonder, with the impending restructuring, how long the entity once known as AM8 will even last.

I got Sonic Advance 3, which is... well, it's a Sonic Advance game: slightly above mediocre, quite a far shot from good. Here's my little review as posted in the forum a few days ago:

The biggest new complaint is that Sonic's acceleration is based on how many Rings he's holding. Apparently, this was also true of Advance 2, but I never even noticed it there, and here it's painfully obvious. At the beginning of the stage, Sonic controls like a wet sack of manure, and when you do finally collect enough Rings to embue him with some semblance of maneuverability, he moves too fast, which makes platform jumping situations trickier than they should be. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but I really prefer it when my character's maneuverability doesn't shift every time he takes damage.

The next big issue are the visuals. Goddamn, but this may well be the ugliest Sonic game ever, and that includes G Sonic. I look at a stage like Toy Kingom and I start realizing that this series has lost something it's never going to get back. The seizure-inducing graphics aren't made more bearable by the fact that everything's super sized. Much like Sonic & Tails on the Game Gear, you can never see enough of your surroundings to be comfortable.

The pair system is, as expected, just a gimmick. Basically, your teammate gives you access to a unique move or two, but it's not hard to decide who you should bring along: almost all the new moves are impractical and useless. All you have to do is find the partner who gives your character the same moves he's always had. Or you can just team up with Cream who gives you the ability to fling Cheese. (It's hard to imagine why anyone would want to pair up with Amy, who takes away your ability to automatically spin when jumping.)

On the bright side, the horribly dysfunctional rolling bosses are gone. The new ones still manage to be too frustrating, but the good news is you don't have to finish Act 2 every time you want to play them again, plus you only ever have to defeat each one once. (There are only a couple of them I think I'd ever get the urge to fight again.) The new robot, Gmerl, is totally redundant. Basically, you encounter him 4 or 5 times over the course of the game, and he's got the same basic, Mecha Sonic-esque attacks every time, plus a new one. Either way, he can be trashed in two seconds flat if you're willing to lose your Rings.

We're back to 3 Acts per Zone now, which is definitely a good thing, and there's even musical variations for each one, but I wish there some visual differentiation as well. One of my favorite things about S&K is that things changed between Acts, so you could tell you were still in the same Zone, but there was visual differentiation to keep it fresh. The level design, by and large, is better than the previous two Advance games, but still suffers from poor object placement that results in alot of cheap hits. The spike traps are out of control, now. It isn't clever design to place a set of spikes, as Squirrelknight put it, "everywhere it makes sense to stand." Also, the early Zones are alright, but by the time you get to level 5 or so, the possibility of falling to your doom makes you afraid to run at max speed. It's especially bad in Chaos Angel, which otherwise would probably be the coolest, most appealing new stage in the game.

I am, however, extremely pleased to see the return of the various devices that littered the lands in Sonic 3. Each Zone has a few unique speed or momentum-gaining contraptions, and it's usually pretty obvious just by looking at them how you're supposed to use them. Kudos to Dimps for that, at least.

I haven't actually played any Special Stages yet, but I still think the "find the Chao" entrance system is the best idea they've had since Sonic 3's "find the giant Rings." Like the puzzle mode in Sonic Pocket, it gives you reason to go back and explore the stages, plus, since every Chao you find is saved permanently, it's significantly less frustrating than the 7 emblems bullshit of Advance 2. Frankly, I even like this better than the "have 50 Rings at the end of an Act" gig.

The hub areas between stages become a nuisance very quickly. It's easy to keep lives stock-piled by playing the dull mini games accessible from these areas, but I would've rathered if your player count was simply recorded in your save data like it used to be.

All in all, while I think there's alot to be said for losing the pin-point precision system employed by Advance 2, Advance 3 still lacks the depth and creativity of the 16-bit days. It isn't as out and out frustrating as its predecessor, but it still just isn't a whole lot of fun, and I think three chances has been plenty enough to get it right.

I've made a few more adjustments to the museum timeline. I'm in the middle of summer classes while still working on my senior project and struggling to fend off the furious assault of laziness, so that's why things are slow here. The Sonic Heroes page is in progress, and immediately after that I'll start the Sonic Advance 3 page or begin the vaunted restructuring of the glossary. Just for the record, grammatically atrocious hate mail isn't going to encourage me to update any faster. -- Green Gibbon!

June 20, 2004

I stumbled across this rather unusual project, and thought I'd made a discovery. So I posted the find in the forum and everyone's all like: "Yeah, jackweed, we've known about that for years." I can't begin to imagine what else they've never bothered to tell me, but in case there's anyone else as far back on the geek bus as I apparently am, there it is. It's a most impressive feat of unnecessary labor, and the photography isn't half bad independent of the juxtaposed ReSaurus figures. I'm particularly impressed with that quite successful Amy cosplayer.

I suppose next I'll find out about some rabbit that balances taiyaki on its head.

Speaking of the new forum, it seems to have taken root quite well. As of now, we have nearly 120 registered members, a solid 30 or 40 of whom actively participate. We've already degenerated to topics about underwear laundering habits and the biological classification of platypi. The most enlightening aspect is watching how quickly relevant topics degenerate into mass insanity, so if nothing else, we've offered concrete evidence for chaos theory. Speaking of which, I've decided to utilize the forum to revive the fabled weekly poll of GHZ lore. Please feel free to participate in our sociological experiment.

Sonic Advance 3 was released in Japan a few days ago and has been out in the US since last month, but it's been sneaking around cyberspace since February or something. I suppose I'll eventually have to play it, though I'm none too eager to sit down with Dimps' latest serving of Sonic mediocrity. Toy Kingdom? Toy Kingdom?! I mean... Toy Kingdom?! Music Plant was going too far, but now we've reached the point of no return. And I'm told that's not even the ugliest stage in the game. How I long for the days of Spring Yard and Collision Chaos.

Big Smile discovered something interesting: although no official announcements have been made, it seems that Sonic Mega Collection Plus and the PC version of Sonic Heroes have disappeared from Sega Japan's release list. Hm...

I've beefed up the museum timeline a bit. Now there's box art and screenshots, a few more tidbits, and some incorrect dates have been shifted. There's still some vital info missing, mostly European release dates and box art. For the Master System games in particular, all I have are the Latin American release dates as alleged by Sonic Jam, but I'm pretty sure those box covers are of the European versions. I'm thinking about adding a "requests" section with a bullet list of all the info that's missing from the site. That way if anyone has anything to contribute, it'll be easy to glance and see what's missing. Hopefully we'll be able to fill in missing data more quickly that way, though it'll take me a while to sift through the site and see exactly what we don't already have.

By the way, here's the full-size version of the logo sketch, if anyone wants a looksee. -- Green Gibbon!

May 26, 2004

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, nobody could tell me anything about it anymore.

The new message board went up quicker than expected, and is now ready for mass malice. Segaholic and I have been working almost nonstop over the weekend to pull it together, but most of the credit should go to him both for providing the server space and understanding the technical jargon associated with the thing. If you intend to use the new forum, please be sure to stop and give him a hand job on the way in.

http://www.nathantsui.com/ghzforum/

This is a shiny new board and we're going to be a bit stricter with stupidity, so please have a glance at the rules in the FAQ before you do something that might piss somebody off. There are about a dozen moderators and they're all cranky. -- Green Gibbon!

May 21, 2004

I still remember my own seventh birthday quite vividly. The year was 1988, and the celebration took place at the local aquatic club, which was the fashion among elementary students of the era. As was also the fashion, my intent was to invite only those of the same gender to partake of the festivities, but my mother and grandmother, who were in charge of coordinating the event, had no intention of throwing a stag party. I made a valiant effort to persuade them with arguments about all the diseases girls were known to carry, but my reasonable objections fell on deaf ears. I knew I was going to be the biggest doofus at the Our Mother of Peace elementary because I'd invited girls to my party, but I was powerless against the matriarchal dictatorship. Of course the first guest to arrive the night of the party turned out to be Allison, my biggest rival in the entire second grade. It would've been difficult to discern who was the official "smartest student" in that class... the boys all backed me up while the womenfolk were on Allison's side. Either way, we were now up against each other one-on-one, and she was wearing an obnoxious frilly French maid one-piece. I was expecting the worst, but the first thing she commented on was the temperature of the water. I don't remember exactly how I responded, but I'm pretty sure it was some kind of abysmal attempt at a retort which she ignored. Conversation went on like this for about 10 minutes before the rest of the guests began arriving. A couple of my buddies pulled me aside and expressed amazement that Allison and I hadn't torn each other to shreds, and I had to admit that I wasn't really sure how it happened, either. Either way, the party turned out okay even with girls, and I got twice as many presents. The years went by, and I lost my "prodigy student" status sometime around the sixth or seventh grade, never to regain it. The second grade was the last time I ever saw Allison, but today I imagine she's in law school or has perhaps started her own business. I, meanwhile, am struggling to procure my baccalaureate from a third-rate university in a 4-year program that will have taken me 5½, I play too many videogames, and my greatest accomplishment is this moronic Sonic the Hedgehog fansite. I have no idea what Allison is up to these days, but I'm pretty sure she's won.

But it's not my seventh birthday, it's the GHZ's. There won't be any pool parties... ideally there would be French maids, but it turns out there isn't enough in the budget. I have, however, managed to procure three exclusive interviews with three of the most pivotal men in Sonic's history: Yuji Naka, Takashi Iizuka, and Naoto Oshima. Revelations abound.

So another E3 has come and gone, and though I couldn't afford to fly my broke ass to L.A. this year, it doesn't seem like I missed much. When the stars of the show are a pair of handheld systems slightly less powerful than what's out now, both with nothing to sport but remakes of games that already exist, it is a quiet year in gameland. The most potentially exciting revelation was the announcement of Phantasy Star Universe. Apparently it's an MMO action RPG, which I guess technically makes it Phantasy Star Online 2. Like I said last time, we've reached a point where it's difficult to get excited over anything Sonic Team has on its agenda, but maybe this will finally be the return to form. Maybe. They still haven't shown the actual game yet...

As a game-player, my interest in Sony's PSP is very minimal, though as an industry-watcher, I have to admit I think this is going to be the first handheld console since the Game Gear that may be able to go up against the Game Boy dynasty. Of course Sonic Team's plan is to slop Puyo Puyo Fever over onto the contraption, meaning this decent-at-best rendition of Compile's 15-year-old puzzle game will now have a reign of terror spanning 8 different consoles, which I believe may be a record. Sonic, meanwhile, will be spinning his merry way onto the Nintendo DS. (There's also a tech demo featuring Sonic running in a 3D tropical arena that I don't think is actually Sonic DS. At least, I prefer to think that it isn't.)

When I sat down to design this site seven years ago, I had nothing but a clearance "HTML for Dummies" book that was outdated even when I bought it. I haven't really bothered to learn anything since then, and now there's all this SQL and PHP stuff that you're supposed to have to run a professional-looking site. Of course I know nothing of any of it, but there are a few guys here who do. Thanks to the tireless efforts of Brother Tsui, aka Segaholic2, resident chink champ of the Hill, the notoriously elusive admins have been contacted and the GHZ finally has its own something-or-other SQL database. I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's got something to do with PHP. I have no idea what that means either, but I'm told by more competent GHZers that we'll be able to get a news script and possibly even an update script running. But the proud warrior Tsui didn't stop there: he's also got a new message board in the works. This one's from PHPBB, meaning that the GHZ will, at long last, have a real forum. The timing is most fortuitous, as it seems the old message board we've been using for the past six years or so has finally pooped out for good. The new one will hopefully be ready in a couple of weeks.

So, we can finally start making some big things happen around the site. The only thing that stands in our way at this point is our own collective laziness. With that, I think I'll go take a nap. -- Green Gibbon!

May 12, 2004

Phantasy Star Universe? Aside from the new Zelda, this is the only E3 announcement so far that's made me raise an eyebrow. Is it, perhaps, a proper MMORPG? Phantasy Star 5? Or is it something stupid like a bundle collection of all the old PS games? It's impossible to ignore the fact that Sonic Team have disappointed consistently for the past three years, but in the darkest hour, maybe...

We here at the GHZ, incidentally, are all whores. -- Green Gibbon!

This page has been accessed 133481 times since 01/15/04. Since the site opened in May, 1997: too damn many. Send all complaints to Jared "Green Gibbon!" Matte. Hosting provided by Emulation Zone and Emulation World. They're your daddy.