TRANSCRIPT: S1E5 Super Sonic
[as transcribed by MoKat {mokat01@lycos.com}]

Note: The spelling of a certain wizard’s name wasn’t clear; some characters pronounced it as if it were “Lazar” but others pronounced it like “Lezar”.  It sounds like “Lazar” most of the time to me, so I went with it.

(Opening scene: Water Wheel, somewhere in the Great Forest)
BUNNIE: Here y'all go, Rotor.
BUNNIE: *puts down a toolbox*
ROTOR: Thanks, Bunnie.
BUNNIE: Welcome, Ah'm sure.
BUNNIE: *notices her frizzy ears & screams*
BUNNIE: Ah'm a walkin' disaster!  Y'all wanna hurry up here, Rotor?  All this dampness is frizzin' my ears.
SALLY: *walks into scene carrying a BIG wrench*
SALLY: This is the biggest wrench I could find, Rotor.
ROTOR: You know, if we use a bigger gear -here- we could double the power output.
SALLY: I bet you're right.  
SALLY: *gets Nicole* Nicole, search data bank for entry "water wheel".
NICOLE: One entry qualifies, Sally.  *shows a rose*
SALLY: Wha?  Nicole, a water wheel.
NICOLE: One entry qualifies.  *shows a chili dog*
SALLY: Oh, no; I was afraid of this.
SONIC: *speeds into scene* Somebody's got that old chili dog feelin' again!
SALLY: No, Sonic.  Nicole is malfunctioning.
SONIC: A chili dog is NO malfunction, Sal.
SALLY: Nicole, run diagnostic level 4B.
NICOLE: Running...submicroprocessor chip 16 has a fatal error.
SONIC: Is that bad?
SALLY: *exasperated growl*

(Scene change: Robotropolis street)
SONIC: It's cool.  *jumps out of a manhole w/Sally*
SALLY: Ready?
SONIC: Ready and steady.
SALLY & SONIC: Let's do it to it!
SONIC: Yo, heavy metal heads!  Wanna play tag?  Yer it!
SALLY: Now or never, Sally-girl...
(inside the factory)
SALLY: *grabs a chip* Yes!
SALLY: *is confronted by a Worker 'Bot & gasps*
SALLY: Oh, hi!  I was just leaving...
(*robot sounds an alarm*)
SALLY: I hate when they do that!

(Outside the factory)
SONIC: Come on, Sal; where ya at?
(*'bots come*)
SONIC: Don't they ever get tired?  Whoa!  Huh?
(scene change: Sally is leaving the factory)
SALLY: Forbidden Zone?  *gasps as a SWATbot approaches*

(Scene change: Robotnik's Command Center)
*Sally is seen on one of Dr. R's monitors*
ROBOTNIK: Send more Hoverunits, Snivley.
SNIVLEY: Yes Sir, Doctor Robotnik.
ROBOTNIK: I want the Princess.
(*a cloaked figure vaporizes the SWATbot*)
ROBOTNIK: Who was that?
SNIVLEY: I really don't know, Sir.  I'll find out.

(Scene change: back to the streets of Robotropolis)
SONIC: You okay, Sal?
SALLY: Yes.  Let's get out of here.

(Sometime later in Knothole)
BUNNIE: What in Heaven's name do you suppose that cloaked thing was?
SALLY: It was the Guardian.
ROTOR: Who's the Guardian?
SALLY: More like "what".  According to legen, he watches over the resting place of Lazar.
SONIC: What's Lazar?
SALLY: Not what; who.
SONIC: Who is what?

(Back at Robotnik's Command Center)
SNIVLEY: The evil wizard, Lazar, has rested for centuries within the Forbidden Zone.  Although many have attempted to recover his computer of magic spells, none have succeeded.
ROBOTNIK: Hmmm.  Go on.
SNIVLEY: According to legend, Lazar awaits someone vile enough to awaken him.
ROBOTNIK: Vile?
SNIVLEY: That would be you, Sir.

(Scene change: near a body of water in the Great Forest (Power Ring Lake?))
SALLY: Forget it, Sonic; it's too risky!
SONIC: C'mon, Sal!  Lazar's magic spells can really kick some Robuttnik tail!
SALLY: But you might wake Lazar!
SONIC: Moi?  Faster than lightning, quieter than a mouse...I'm there and back before you know I'm even gone!
SALLY: Will you be serious for a minute?
SONIC: Thirty seconds is my limit...
SALLY: One day you'll learn that speed is no substitute for common sense.
SONIC: Time's up!  Snooze, ya loose; gotta cruise!
SALLY: Be careful, Sonic!
SONIC: It's magic time!
SALLY: *exasperated sigh* Boys...

(Scene change: the edge of the Forbidden Zone)
SNIVLEY: I've found them, Doctor Robotnik.
ROBOTNIK: Then where is he?
SNIVLEY: Well, he was right...
GUARDIAN: (interrupting) Why have you summoned me?  
ROBOTNIK: A little business proposition, my dear Guardian; one you might find rewarding.
GUARDIAN: I have no use for riches.  *turns to walk away*
ROBOTNIK: Well, another kind of deal then.  I...I want the location of Lazar's lair.  Name your price.
GUARDIAN: You intend harm to my master?
ROBOTNIK: Oh, you wound me, dear Guardian.  I merely want to wake the grand wizard and honor his evilness.  We have much in common.
GUARDIAN: Yes.  I can see that.
GUARDIAN: *porjects a holographic map*  You must enter the Forbidden Zone.  Go alone; for only your metallic heart is evil enough to withstand the dangers.  You have been warned.

(Scene: outside Lazar's lair)
ROBOTNIK: Proceed.
*SWATbot is crushed*
ROBOTNIK: Hmm.

(Scene change: Sonic reaches Lazar's Lair)
SONIC: That is one ugly condo!
SONIC: Juice and jam time!
(later)
SONIC: Whoa!
SONIC: Whoa!  Here's another fine mess!  Which way?  What's a hedgehog to do...
SONIC: Do I wanna get diced, charred, ro crushed?  Hmm....this is a tough one.
(*Guardian attacks*)
SONIC: Huh?  Hey, watch it!
SONIC: Man!  This guy has an attitude!  Triple-S time!

(Scene change: Lazar's Inner Sanctum)
ROBOTNIK: Since you won't be needing this anymore...
ROBOTNIK: *grabs the spell computer* Sleep well, old boy.

(Scene change: back to Sonic inside Lazar's Lair)
SONIC: Piece of cake...
SONIC: (sarcastic) Nice bridge.

(Scene change: back at the Water Wheel)
ROTOR: Cool.  Now tighten that screw, Bunnie.
BUNNIE: Sally, screwdriver please.
BUNNIE: *notices that Sally had passed a hammer*  My, my, I do declare Sally-girl; your mind is anywhere but!
SALLY: Sorry.  I'm worried about Sonic.  If he wakes Lazar...
BUNNIE: Now don't worry yourself none.  That little sugar-hog is too quick for some sleepy old wizard.
SALLY: I hope you're right, Bunnie.

(Back in Lazar's Lair)
SONIC: Nothin's easy anymore.
SONIC: Barbequed hedgehog is not my idea of fun.
SONIC: Cruisin' and bruisin' time!

(Scene change: Robotnik's HQ)
ROBOTNIK: Activate it, Snivley.
SNIVLEY: Yes, Sir.
SPELLBOOK: Enter command or "I" for spell index.
ROBOTNIK: The index, Snvley; quickly.
SPELLBOOK: Amulets, banishments, bones, cages, curses...
ROBOTNIK: What a lovely variety.

(Back in Lazar's Inner Sanctum)
SONIC: Huh?
LAZAR: Another thief it is!  My computer he comes to steal.
SONIC: Who, me?  No,no,no,no; I just took a wrong turn, so I'll be crusin'.
LAZAR: Fast not so, little thief!
SONIC: Hey!  Let me outta here!

(back @ Robotnik's HQ)
SPELLBOOK: ...ravens, rings, submission, slavery, teleports...
ROBOTNIK: Oh, that's it.  Teleports.  Exactly what I need.
SPELLBOOK: Name target.
ROBOTNIK: Sonic the Hedgehog.
SPELLBOOK: Target out of range.  Name target.
ROBOTNIK: Princess Sally.
SPELLBOOK: Confirm target.
ROBOTNIK: Affirmative.
SALLY: What happened?  Where...?
ROBOTNIK: Take her!
SALLY: Robotnik...
ROBOTNIK: Stop her!
SALLY: Get out of my face, Cluck!
ROBOTNIK: So nice of you to drop by, Princess.
SALLY: How did you do this, Robotnik?
ROBOTNIK: Oh, let's just say it's...it's magic.
SALLY: You found Lazar's computer, didn't you.
ROBOTNIK: I cannot tell a lie, Princess.  I did.
ROBOTNIK: (ordering a SWATbot) Secure her.
ROBOTNIK: A princess needs her lady-in-waiting wouldn't you say, Snivley?
SNIVLEY: Oh, yes, Sir.  Absolutely.
SPELLBOOK: Name target.
ROBOTNIK: Bunnie Rabbot.
BUNNIE: What the heck happened?
SALLY: Bunnie, run!  RUN!
BUNNIE: *smacks down the SWATbot & tries to free Sally*
SALLY:  Bunnie, just go. Go!
BUNNIE: You all should learn how to treat a lady!
ROBOTNIK: Stun her!
SALLY: You are a miserable creep, Robotnik!
ROBOTNIK: Why thank you, Princess.

(Scene change: back @ Lazar's Lair)
LAZAR: Using the magic he is.
SONIC: Who's using the magic?
LAZAR: I know not his name, but evil he is.  Pure evil!
SONIC: Then it's Robotnik!
LAZAR: Evil I was once...but dreamed for centuries I did.  Regret the evil, I do.
SONIC: Cool.  So let me outta here.
LAZAR: Release you?  Why?
SONIC: So I can stop Robotnik.  Like you said, he's totally evil.  There's no telling what he'll do with your magic.
LAZAR: Promise first, you must.
SONIC: Sure, anything.  What?
LAZAR: Find my computer.  Return it you shall.
SONIC: I promise.  Now let me out.
*Lazar presses a button on his belt*
SONIC: Yeah!  Thanks.  It's juice and jam time!
*Lazar presses another button*
SONIC: Man.  Whadya do to me?
LAZAR: Took your speed, little thief.
SONIC: That's uncool!  Why'd ya do that?
LAZAR: Evil I was; ignorant I wasn't. *chuckles* Return it when your promise you keep.
SONIC: No prob.  But how do I get your computer without my speed?
LAZAR: Brains you have; brains you must use.
SONIC: Why does everything have to be so difficult?

(Back @ Robotnik's HQ)
ROBOTNIK: Hmm.  The submission spell sounds...so interesting, Snivley.
SNIVLEY: Yes, Sir.
BUNNIE: *groans* (monotone) I await your orders, Sir.
SALLY: (softly) Oh, Bunnie...
ROBOTNIK: Bring the Princess.
SALLY: Bunnie.  Listen to me.  You have to fight the magic.  Fight the magic!
ROBOTNIK: Enough!
SALLY: (monotone) How can I help you Doctor Robotnik?

(Scene shift: Sonic is somewhere in Robotropolis)
SONIC: Way to use the ol' brain.  Whu-oh!  *is teleported*
SONIC: Sal?  Bunnie?  What are you guys doin' here?
ROBOTNIK: Ladies, if you please...
ROBOTNIK: Well, hedgehog...
SONIC: Hey!  What's going on?
ROBOTNIK: ...I have you at last.
SONIC: What did you do to them, Robuttnik?
ROBOTNIK: I made them...obedient.  Perhaps I should Roboticize them.  Starting with you.  Princess!
SONIC: Sal, hold up.  Don't do this!  Sal, it's me your best friend, your best bud, (sexy voice) your main squeeze.
SALLY: Shut your mouth, hedgehog!
ROBOTICIZER: Activating...dialing...
SONIC: Sorry, Bunnie.
ROBOTNIK: Get him!
ROBOTNIK: *moves the SWATbot's rifle* You'll hit the crystal!
SONIC: This isn't good.
ROBOTNIK: Security, intruder alert, main lab!
LAZAR: (through spell computer) Up to you, little thief.
SONIC: Sorry, Sal.  (to Cluck) Take a hike, bird brain!
SONIC: I'll take that.
SONIC: Now, girls... 
SALLY: Sonic?  What is going on?
BUNNIE: What in the high heavens are you doin' here?
SONIC: Tell ya later.  *whispers* Past cool, Lazar.
BUNNIE: Um, can Ah make a little ol' suggestion?
SONIC: We're all ears, Bunnie.
BUNNIE: Let's get the hip-hop outta here. *trashes a SWATbot*
ROBOTNIK: I despise that miserable hedgehog, Cluck.  Despise him with all my metallic heart.

(Scene change: outside Lazar's lair)
LAZAR: Well you did, little thief.
SONIC: Stay with us, Lazar.  Join the Freedom Fighters.
LAZAR:  ???(couldn't make out this word) for Mobius it is bad.  Guard it I must.
SALLY: Can't you destroy it?
BUNNIE: The girl has a point.  If it's all so evil, why not just be rid of it?
LAZAR: Release all the evil that would.  A catastrophe it would be.  Sonic, your speed I return. *presses a button on his belt*  Luck to you, Sonic.
SONIC: And to you Lazar.
*Lazar & his lair disappear*
SONIC: We better juice.
BUNNIE: Music to my ears.

(Back @ the Water Wheel, some time later)
ROTOR: Man, I'm glad you guys are back.
SALLY: So are we.
ROTOR: What happened?
SONIC: It's a long story, bud.
BUNNIE: *yawns* And it will keep ‘til morning.
ROTOR: Well, this won’t.  Check out the water wheel. *flips a switch*
SONIC: That’s what you guys been working on??
SALLY: Yes.  Isn’t it fantastic?
SONIC: *groans*

(end of scene)
[end of transcript]