Don Pardo: "Sure thing, Nerd-boy. And for the GRAND PRIZE, Captain Purple, you've won an ALL EXPENSE PAID vacation to defeat the Evil Spawm!"

Captain Purple: "WHO!?!?!"

Who is this evil doer our hero must defeat?
Does anyone care?
And when will moronic people stop licking cold mailboxes?

Find out in the next issue at this same purple site!