Hello Kimball High!  I’d like to thank Mr. Davis for introducing me, as well as the audience for not sneaking out of the auditorium once I came up.  I mean, if you’ve stayed here this long, what’s the harm of another speech, right?
	As you know, I’m running for Senior Class President for the 2003 graduating class.  And even though all of you may not know who I am, I still ask you to go and vote for me in this latest election.  It will feel as if a breath of fresh air has infiltrated your soul.  You will feel better about yourself, of life.  You’ll make your money, you’ll find love in all the right places, you’ll discover…buried treasure!
	The position of class president is one of great importance.  And I feel that I can handle the job.  I am willing to spend the time and put in the effort and give my all to see the advancement of Kimball high and all it’s students.  I promise that I will not raise taxes, nor steal school funds and use them for my own selfish pleasures, or throw tomatoes and pineapples at random students.  And I promise not to run around willy-nilly through the school.
	Instead I will be the best that I can possibly be, for I see this job as I do a new day, as if I am a newborn child climbing onto the swing of life…
	This reminds me of an encounter I had a few days back.  A young child came up to me and asked, “Hey mister, ya wanna wrestle?”  I replied, “Johnny,” I assumed his name was Johnny, “the world is a very scary place.  You can’t always trust everyone you see.  If you see a crazy person in a black suit wanting a mirror, avoid him.  Vote brisk, vote Frisk.”  The child looked up at me strangely and said, “You’re crazy.”  And as he ran off he shouted, “You’re slogan stinks, too.”
	And that’s why he didn’t become my campaign manager.
	Now you may ask what my qualifications are to become president.  And this is a very good question, for we wouldn't want just anyone to be class president.  I know which side of the bread is buttered, I know where you are and where I am, and I will not bite.  I also am impartial, due to how I have always looked at both sides of all arguments.  I will not be biased toward one side or another.  And I will not be incompetent.  
	I will listen to what each and everyone of you has to say, and take it all into consideration.  None of you will go unheard, I can assure you of that.
	And finally, if I was ever captured by a random high school, I promise not to reveal any of our secrets.  I would rather dress in drag and sing a song of a carnation then to reveal them.
	In conclusion, I ask you, the future seniors of the school, to think of the right person that should become president.  And then I want you to put down a vote for me, David Frisk, for I ladies and gentleman promise to be the best president that this fine learning institution has ever seen.
	Remember, vote brisk, vote Frisk!