BEFORE YOU READ: 

The PFFL is a fighting tournament whose intent is to harmlessly
poke fun at the decidedly (and delightfully) weird world of
Pokemon fanfiction, particularly its SI and Mary Sue aspects...
though we are not limited to those. 

The 16 contenders for this tournament were chosen based purely on
popular vote.  New characters beyond those sixteen will not be
admitted until such time as we choose to hold another tournament,
and another vote to determine who *those* sixteen contenders will
be. The match outcomes are also determined by vote, and a ballot
for the upcoming card can usually be found posted at our
homepage, along with the tournament's brackets.  All readers 
are invited to cast their votes regarding the outcome of future
matches.  The show's writers, however, do not vote in said
ballot, and make no decisions regarding the outcome of matches
save in the cases of a tie vote.  

You may send comments and criticisms to the writers via e-mail: 

Alicia Ashby: lynxara@bad-candy.com 
Tim McLees: shinji_70@hotmail.com

Enjoy the show! 
_________________________________________________________________

The opening cues to life, to a shot of a dark, 19th-century
wooden ship silently sailing through the waves.  Despite its
ominous and archaic appearance, though, a camera close-up reveals
the name "SS Anne" etched into the side.  As it drifts towards a
distant bay, soft, synthesized cords are heard, accompanied by an
expansive pan of the camera around the sailing ship. Then... the
voice of Tony Schiavone begins narrating as the soft melody
continues...

"Throughout fanfiction and multiverse, a tale of egos and
pokeballs... eternally retold!" 

The gentle melody reached a crescendo as an elegant, detailed map
of Indigo Island filled the camera's view... shortly before it
was smashed to pieces as a fast-paced pop tune began blaring over
the delicate violins! 

Replacing the map in the camera's view was a rapid series of
brief close-up shots of many of the upcoming tournament's
competitors.  Ashura the Assassin could be seen coolly posing
with his oddly pitch-black katana in hand; Hikaru Ketchum, smiled
enthusiastically as she swung her massive sword about in some
practice katas; Shigeru Adauchi glowered menacingly at the camera
before swiftly drawing forth his twin Glock pistols; Ryan
Edgerton grinned smugly and ran a hand through his perfectly-
coiffed black hair; Sailor Pikagirl, with a forward thrust of her
hands, released a powerful Thundershock of electricity at the
camera; Felixman and Ded posed back to back, smirking and
brandishing their sawed-off shotguns; Crystal Dagger grimly
twirled her iridescent sword and glared darkly at the camera;
Satoshi grinned enthusiastically and threw his arm forward,
Tenchu scampering down to squeak victoriously into the camera;
and finally, Dario coolly leveled his single Beretta at the
camera and fired, ending the sequence.  

With bewildering speed, a series of pokemon flew at the screen
and seemingly "through" it, in the space of perhaps a second:
Shadow Pikachu, Mokona, a normal Pikachu, Nidoking, Primeape,
Oddish, Tenchu, Voltorb, Ponyta, Nightmare, Alakazam, Staryu,
Weedle, Porygon, Onix, and a Rattata with strangely glittering
whiskers. Their images quickly fades, replaced with a shot of
flowing black cloak.  As the camera slowly panned up the figure's
back, he slowly turned around, revealing the brooding eyes and
dark hair of Ashura the Assassin once more. 

The scene shifted again, now showing an imposing urban cityscape. 
As the sun set in the background, a figure could be seen outlined
in its harsh red light: Adauchi, his trenchcoat billowing in the
wind. Adauchi slowly turned around, the camera briefly closing in
on his face, expression grim. Two attackers suddenly surged
forward at him from an alley, pistols drawn; but with a fluid
motion, Adauchi raised his guns and quickly dispatched them with
a pair of shots from his pistols. 

Rapidly, the forms of the falling mooks dissolved into the image
of a Spearow, soaring high above a gently flowing river that was
nestled in between two imposing rock cliffs. The Spearow quickly
began diving, swooping downward at a canoe that was slowly making
its way down the river.  As the camera drew closer, it showed the
figure of Arina Ketchum sitting in the boat, paddling with fierce
determination; at least, until she paused and joyfully raised an
arm for Spearow to land upon. 

This time, the scene shifted to an expansive shot of Kate Ringer
and Messila Samatha Wetall walking away from their hometowns,
knapsacks on their backs. That scene rapidly faded into one of
Hikaru Ketchum, standing in a dark warehouse, brandishing her
Escudo sword as she faced off against a Rocket agent and his
deadly-looking Scyther. Then the scene shifted back to Arina
Ketchum, her canoe pulled up against the rocks at the foot of one
of the two cliffs.  Her expression was weary and downtrodden,
until she was startled by a sudden noise behind her.  Glancing
up, her eyes widened in wonder as she saw Satoshi, smiling
comfortingly, approach from the beach behind her and take a seat
by her fire. 

The scene shifted once again, this time showing a breathtaking
aerial view of what appeared to be an outdoor concert.  As the
camera drew downward, it closed in on four figures who stood on
stage, in front of the band playing in the background.  Drawing
nearer, the faces of Ryan and Garrett Edgerton, hair billowing
dramatically in the wind, waving to the enthusiastic crowd become
visible, along with Devan and Jenna in the background. 

Finally, after a minute's time had elapsed, the music playing
reached its first chorus.  In time with the lyrics, the camera
cut to a shot of the golden PFFL Championship Cup glittering
underneath a dramatic, stormy sky.  The camera homed in on the
metallic pokeball set into the trophy's base, eventually panning
"through it".  

The chorus continued through the series of combat-oriented shots
that followed. Ben Masters did katas with a weapon that appeared
to be a dustmop in an abandoned Gym, Eliza looking on.  Ashura
brandished his sword dangerously and leapt back, crackling with
black electricity, as Dario's Nightmare reared up to its hind
legs before him, kicking its front hooves and tossing
its head majestically.  Sailor Pikagirl aimed a pair of vicious
punches and a high, unintentionally fanservicey roundhouse kick
at the camera.  Ded and Felixman quickly followed her in the
montage, Nidoking snarling and swiping powerfully forward at the
camera until he completely filled its field of view.  Tenchu,
moving with the breathtaking speed and force of the Thunder
Cannon technique, blazed across the screen next, before the
montage ended with the image of Dario and Adauchi in a classic
John Woo-style standoff: pistols perhaps three inches away from
their opponents forehead, fingers slowly tightening on the
trigger, expressions cold and savage.  

The music abruptly slowed as it reached its bridge, a section
dominated by the delicate sounds of violins and other stringed
instruments.  The camera followed Crystal Dagger as she performed
a slower, somehow more alluring and seductive sword kata, before
the shot dissolved to show Amanda brushing her luxurious red hair
and smiling winsomely through the camera at the viewer. As the
camera draws away, she raises her arms and calls a storm of
softly crackling electricity about her, twirling about as she
slowly goes through a super-detailed henshin into Sailor
Pikagirl. Finally, the scene cut to Hikaru practicing kendo at
her home in Japan, kicking and making practice slashes with her
bokuto before flashing a brilliant smile at the camera.          

The music slowly began picking up in tempo as scenes of combat
once more dominated the montage.  Ben Masters skillfully
dispatched two attackers in a bar in Celadon City through the
devastating use of a chair as a weapon.  A dark figure leapt down
onto the mast of the ship shown earlier in the video; with a
resounding crash, he revealed himself as Ashura as he crashed
through the ceiling of a guardroom!  The League Empire guards
attempted to attack him, but were swiftly dispatched with a
series of deadly roundhouse kicks and sword swipes. 

The next scene shown was of Ryan and Garrett Edgerton speeding
along on their silver hoverboards as trees and a massive Gyarados
toppled towards the ground.  The two crusading
trainers narrowly evaded being crushed as they zoomed towards the
camera, the flash of silver reflected from their boards quickly
dissolving into the silver splash of water as Amanda waded in a
glimmering pool.  She suddenly turned around, as if she heard the
noise made by a someone approaching her from behind.  However,
she could only back away in awe as she saw behind her the great
Legendary Bird Zapdos descending from the heavens, thunder and
lightning following in his wake. 

As the music reached its climax, the scene abruptly returned to
Hikaru's battle against the Rocket. Hikaru took a deep breath,
and in a great blast of fire that surrounded her body and blew
the walls and roof off the warehouse, summoned her Rune God
Rayearth! The camera cut away to show the giant mecha rising high
above the ruins of the warehouse as Rockets fled in panic. 

A final rapid transition, and the camera rested on a close-up of
Satoshi setting his League cap on Arina's head, much to the young
girl's delight.  The two then stood up and the camera pulled
back, revealing Satoshi and Arina to be standing on top of a
mountain that offered the two a truly panoramic vista to gaze
upon. Slowly, out of the mist enshrouding the faraway mountains,
the detailed map of the Indigo Islands dissolved in to fill the
camera's view once more.  

However, after a brief moment, the map crumbles to pieces, a
final shot of the ship from the beginning of the montage
seemingly ripping "through" the map's falling rubble.  As the
antiquated SS Anne drew closer to the camera, and then sailed
past it, a lone, dark figure became clearly visible standing on
the ship's bow.  The camera closed in as the figure threw back
his head, clearly revealing Ashura the Assassin, grim
determination written across his face.  The music ended with a
final powerful crescendo, the camera rapidly jumping from
Ashura's face to the PFFL logo, and pausing there before the live
feed took over...  

CRYSTAL TOKYO

     The shot faded into an overhead view of a crystalline
variant of the Pokemon League battlegrounds: the central circle
and boundaries etched into the smooth, polished arena floor. Rows
of seats flank the grounds, and the final few chords of the theme
for PFFL's premiere season, "Edge of Soul," resonated over the
sound system as WCW commentator Tony Schiavone welcomed the
viewers...
     "PTB Productions has returned to Cystal Tokyo and *WE ARE
LIVE!*" Tony proclaimed. "Good evening and welcome to the
exciting debut of PFFL! I'm Tony Schiavone, accompanied by my
cohorts Jim Ross and, from the independent wrestling
circuits, Joey Styles!"
     "ECW, Tony," Joey countered. "You've probably heard of it:
national-level audience, where y'all have been getting your
current angles and shticks..."
     "Yes, its good to be back together again," JR commented to
no one in particular and in blatant defiance of the fact that
this was this particular commentating team's first assignment
together. "Well, folks, its been a year since Malahelicon
concluded and disbanded the Author Avatar Association."
     "And after her profitable efforts with the promotion after
she took over PTB Productions, it'll be interesting to see what
she's compiled for this exiting new competition." Tony enthused.

     "Well, she's assembled a lot of interesting personalities
from throughout the multiverse," Joey mentioned. "Though I'm not
too sure what to make of this Hello Kitty pitfighting."
     "Our PFFL investigative reporters have prepared a
presentation for those unfamiliar with the *exciting* world of
Pokemon!" Tony introduced with his usual artificial enthusiasm.
     "Indeed, our longtime cohorts Mike Tenay and Michael Cole
are here to shed some light on what we're going to see tonight."
JR addressed. "Take it away, fellas."

     The peppy, highly digitized opening tune of the Pokemon Game
Boy Game played over a still of Mike Tenay and Michael Cole
strolling the streets of Saffron City...

POKEMON LEAGUE RULES in the INDIGO ISLANDS

     Stock footage of Pokemon League battles played as Tenay
opened the segment.
     "Pocket Monsters, or Pokemon for short, are a fundamental
element in the culture and society of the Indigo Islands."
     The scene cuts to Tenay and Cole walking the deserted
streets of Saffron City as he continues. "Pokemon training and
competition is incorporated into many facets of the Islands
culture: consumer items, medical facilities and of course, the
Gym Leader's arenas in each major city..."
     "And for a 'major city', this place is kind of deserted,
Tenay." Cole pondered, passing a nervous glance around the vacant
streets. "Anyway, a potential Pokemon Master has to fight and
defeat the Gym Leaders of these respective cities, drawing from
their arsenal of collected Pokemon. For instance, in Saffron
City, one would have to come to this arena."
     Cole gestured toward the fog-hidden Saffron City Gym. Tenay
tossed a wary glance as the two reporters advanced toward the
gym, whose doors spontaneously opened upon their arrival.

     "These matches are done under standard League rules." Tenay
informed gazing around and the obsidian halls and pillars. "Each
trainer selects up to three Pokemon from their collections,
selecting one from this set to start the match."
     "A Pokemon is eliminated when it is unable to continue, be
it as the result of knockout, being put to sleep, or leaving the
battle ground's boundaries." Cole added. The duo continued down
the hall, passing a contentedly sleeping Abra.
     "The winning trainer is the one whose managed to eliminate
his or her opponent's entire team of Pokemon--" Tenay was
interrupted by a haunting disembodied female voice.

     "What is your business here?"
     With that, the iron doors to the arena opened just as the
main doors behind them slammed shut. Tenay let out an audible
"Eep!"
     "...back to you, Tony..." Cole uttered anxiously.   

     "And now that everyone knows the rules, we can finally get
to what you really tuned in for... the most extreme pokemon
battles this side of the Indigo Plateau!" Joey exclaimed, as the
house lights began to dim.  At the same time, the illumination
increased on the crystalline battlefield, which seemed to take on
a ethereal glow underneath the redirected spotlights."
     "And here come our first two competitors!" JR exclaimed. 
     From one of the two ramps a ten-year-old girl with dark
blue hair and a very familiar cap on her head strode down to the
battlefield, as "Brave Heart," the battle theme from the original
Digimon Adventure, began to play over the speakers.   An equally
familiar Pikachu trailed behind her, smiling at the crowds.  His
"trainer" did not seem quite so comfortable, though.
     Tony nodded as she took her place in the trainer's box
etched onto the crystalline battlefield. "And it looks like our
first contestant is a true rarity here in the PFFL, a second-
generation trainer.  Arina Ketchum is, in her home universe,
apparently the daughter of Ash and Misty themselves!" 
     "If my sources are correct, that's not all that uncommon in
the worlds of Pokemon fanfiction," Joey replied.  "But Arina's
got determination that really separates out the rest of the
future kid pack!" 
     As the peppy J-Pop sounds faded away, they were replaced
with a far harsher theme: the unmistakable rapcore of Limp
Bizkit's "Nookie."
     "And I suppose that young... *gentleman*," JR began, a
notable lack of conviction in his voice, "would be her opponent,
Ded.  He's supposedly here to represent the USA with Felixman,
right?"
     "According to his entry form," Joey nodded.  "But I'm not
sure if he's doing America a favor or not..." 
     The young man was wearing a Miami Dolphins jacket and cap,
and walked with a distinct swagger as he approached the ring.  He
would have seemed like simply another brash, trash-talking
trainer, had it not been for the fact that he was currently
spewing obscenities about his ten-year-old opponent into the
camera. 
     "Well... he's authentic, at least," Tony managed, as Ded
took his place and the house lights focused on the battlefield.   
   
ARINA KETCHUM vs DED 
League Rules Combat

     "Go, Spearow!" Arina called out.

     "With the same spirit as her daddy, Arina looks ready!" JR
remarked as
Arina's bird pokemon cawed, awaiting its first opponent.
     "Arina's spunk isn't winning Ded over though." Joey added,
as the surly youth withdrew his own pokeball.

     "Raticate, shred this pillow stuffin' a new one!" Ded
sneered. The feral rodent snarled with glee before springing up
with a fast jump.
     "Oh! It leaps into a Quick Attack" Tony remarked "Narrowly
missing its prey!
     "That bird definitely has the speed advantage... and he
sweeps in for a Peck!" JR watched on as the Spearow darted
downward to ram the grounded  Raticate with its beak. "...and
another! and again! That rodent's reeling."
     Joey leaned back in his chair, almost bored. "This could be
an easy win. Spearow sweeps is for another run and..."

     "Raticate! Hyper Fang!"
     "GYAH!" Joey lunged forward as the frenzied rat's eyes
glowed red and leapt upwards. It snared one of the Spearow's
wings in its fangs, reared back,and flung the wounded bird.
"OH--"
     "MAH GAWD!" JR cried out along with his cohort. They both
paused briefly and glanced at each other. 
     Tony continued with his usual artificial precision.
"Raticate has leveled the playing field! Evened the odds!"
     "Yes, Tony, he did," JR noted coldly.
     "No kidding, he just jacked up that bird..." Joey commented,
a bit surprised. "And it ain't through yet, this could be it!"

     "Focus... focus..." Ded ordered. His Raticate glowed
faintly, trembling in anticipation...
     Arina narrowed her eyes and brought a hand gingerly to her
cap. She turned its bill back behind her.
     "Finish it! Takedown!" 
     "CAAATE!" the rodent roared as it barreled toward the
wounded bird...
     "Spearow, Mirror Move! Give it a taste of its own medicine!"
Arina exclaimed. 
     "What's it doing?" Joey adjusted his glasses and watched as
the Spearow's  eyes glowed red and, with an abrupt burst of
speed, latched onto the incoming Raticate's shoulder with its
beak.
     "My stars... Spearow's got him in a Hyper Fang of his own!"
JR gasped.
     "And he flings him down to the ground. What a counteractive
move!" Tony exclaimed.
     "'Counteractive move'..." Joey grumbled at his colleague's
use of creative English.

     JR shook his head. "In any event, after that hellacious
attack, Ded's Raticate is out cold." The boy sneered as he
withdrew another Pokeball from the pocket of the camouflaged
fatigues he wore beneath his jacket.
     "And here comes his next Pokemon, Wartortle!" Tony noted, as
the biped turtle taunted the Spearow as it made its way back
airborne.

     "It's making its way back up, amazing after taking that shot
to the wing and--" Suddenly, the bird Pokemon cried out and
flopped to the ground. "Oh my God! It dropped like a rock!"
     Ded and his Wartortle crossed their arms smuggly as Arina
rushed out to the wounded Spearow.
     "Mah Gawd, it's bleeding from its wing! That Hyper Fang must
have done more..." JR noted with grave concern. He then noticed
something as the replay  rolled. "What in the..."
     "A little red dot's on the back of its wing!" Joey glared.
     "As I feared." Tony nodded solemnly. "This, ladies and
gentlemen, is why laser pointers are not allowed at Pokemon
League events." 
     "Are you *that* dense, Schiavone?" Joey protested.
"Something just *shot* Spearow!"
     "Still nervous about guns from our 3A days, Joey?" Tony
countered. "I figured you'd prefer such *extreme* tactics."
     "But this isn't the 3A! These are Pokemon, cute little
merchandisable critters..." Joey snapped back, almost pouting. 
     "Nurse Joy and her paramedics are out to check Arina and her
Spearow." JR noted. Several Chanseys stood around with concern
and loaded the bird up into their gurny. "The young Ketchum is
obviously shaken up, the poor girl..."

     "Hey, toots. You can give up now and spare yourself some
more hurt. Your choice, hon," Ded taunted, his rotund Wartortle
chuckling with him. Arina turned methodically to the militant
Pokemon trainer and tossed him a cold  glare as she removed her
cap. With her other hand, she withdrew her second Pokeball and
gave a simple order.

     "Pikachu, I choose you."
     "Oh my... this Pokemon swap may change the flow of battle!"
Tony exclaimed.
     "No foolin' Tony, she's taking a page from her daddy's
gamebook here." The yellow and popular rodent materialized in
front of the now agitated Wartortle, which peered back nervously
to its master. 
     "It's gearing up for an electrical attack, this could get
messy..." Joey warned. Pikachu crackled with energy and unleashed
a bolt at the frantic Wartortle. It desperately Withdrew into its
shell, but still was consumed by the Thunderbolt's blast. As the
electrical burst died down, the charred shell toppled over.
     "Mah Gawd! It's super effective!" JR exclaimed.
     "It appears that Ded's Wartortle is a one-hit wonder! That
leaves him with one Pokemon remaining!" Tony announced. Ded
called back his still smoldering Wartortle and withdrew his
remaining Pokeball. The irate youth held his arm out and launched
the beam from his Pokeball above Arina's Pikachu. Something
materialized above the electric mouse.
     Something big.
     "Kick it's f'ing ass, Nidoking," Ded growled.

     "Ohhh gawd," JR breathed, as the spiked beast landed, the
Pikachu barely leaping out of its way. "That monster's huge. And
its claws!"
     The massive Nidoking rushed with unusual agility, barely
missing the panicked Pikachu with its poisoned claws. "Scary
thing is, these big fellas can move as nimble as any Pikachu."
Joey noted.
     "Fortunately, Arina seems to have done her homework." Tony
remarked as Pikachu continued to evade the beast's swipes. "Many
an inexperienced Pokemon trainer have been fooled by Nidoking's
stocky physique."
     Tony's cohorts groaned and turned to the grinning WCW
commentator.
     "You better hope Tenay didn't hear that." JR warned.

     "That little mouse can't dodge forever, as he takes a solid
kick! That sent him flying!" Joey yelped as Nidoking Double
Kicked the Pikachu across the ring. "Nidoking's charging in and--
GYAH! He's swiping away at that little Pikachu!"
     "Nidoking's showing off his trademark agility with those
blinding Fury Swipes..." Tony remarked.
     "And so is Pikachu! Look at him go!" JR replied as the
rodent's used its Agility to boost its already formidable speed.
     "My goodness, they're both a blur..." Joey observed. "But,
Nidoking can't keep up. Arina's wearing him out!"
     "Great strategy, but she needs a way to take him down." JR
shook his head, "And that ain't gonna happen against a Ground
kind of Pokemon..."
     "Nidoking goes in for a final slash... he misses!" Tony
yelled. The Pikachu jumped up and grabbed onto the horned
Pokemon's snout.

     "Flash attack! Blind him!" Arina commanded. Her pikachu
"pika-ed" in reply and emitted a dazzling light that flooded the
battle field.
     "Whoa! Should have brought my Raybans!" Joey yelped. 
     "Just think what it did to Nidoking there..." JR asked,
rubbing his eyes. Ded help a hand to his eyes, gazing up in time
to see his blinded Nidoking stumbling around, swiping wildly.
Arina drew her third and final Pokemon. 
     "Wait! Is she calling out a second..." Tony exclaimed.

     "Bulbasaur, Vine Whip! Pikachu, set up for Double Team."
     The frog-like Grass pokemon shimmered into existance and
wrapped a pair of tendrils into Nidoking's massive arms, cutting
into them.
     "Those vines are cuttin' right into that monster's earthy
hide." JR thought out loud. "Pikachu's hopping up onto
Bulbasaur's back..."

     "Ready... and Thunder, now Pikachu!" Arina proclaimed,
beaming confidently.
     "Whoa! She's channeling its energies through its vines and
into the weakened Nidoking!" Joey exclaimed.
     "An excellent combination finish by Miss Ketchum!" Tony
cheered.

     "Brave Heart" cued up again, and the victorious young girl
ran out to hug her enthusiastic pokemon. Ded, meanwhile trod out,
cussing at his smoldering Nidoking before returning it to his
pokeball.
     "A surprising upset, the kind of action that's made the PFFL
famous!" Tony remarked.
     "That would be impressive if we hadn't just *started,*" Joey
interrupted.
     "And it looks like Thinker's going to stake out our unknown
gunman," JR noted as the determined Lord Thinker talked with the
resident Jennies on duty.

     "In the meantime, we go to our next opening round match up!"
Joey announced. 
     "Yes, our next bout will introduce a pair of new contenders
into the PFFL," Tony added brightly.
     "Schiavone, all the contenders are new!  This is our first
show!" JR snapped in reply.
     "And?" Tony asked calmly.
     JR sighed and shook his head as what initially sounded like
the first few beats of the first Slayers OP, "Get Along," blared
over the sound system.  However, instead of Megumi Hayashibara's
powerful singing, it was utterly incoherent Japlish that was sung
along with the tune.   
     "... what?" Tony asked, somehow managing to look more
confused than he normally did.
     "That's the entrance music, Tony," Joey said helpfully. 
"Mabical Vox's 'Power of Infinity.'" 
     "I see..." Tony smiled and nodded, and decided to let the
matter drop.
     JR quickly continued. "In any case, our first contender is
here representing none other than Doc Thinker himself, an author
who's been a friend of PTB productions for quite some time."
     "And... hey, it looks like she's brought an old friend with
her!" Joey exclaimed happily. 
     Joey's observation was indeed correct.  The 13-year-old girl
with the bright orange hair, red blouse, and white slacks that
initially stepped out onto the top of the north entrance ramp
was definitely unfamiliar, but the pokeball on the belt strapped
around her waist clearly marked her as Kate Ringer.  
     
     The figure behind her, however, was much more familiar,
despite his change of attire. His brown hair was less spiky than
before, having been trimmed into a new cut that let short wisps
of it fall dramatically into his eyes, which were no longer
obscured by a set of bottlecap glasses. He was currently wearing
a bright yellow jacket with a high, furry collar, over a
nondescript white T-shirt and bright yellow slacks.  A stylized
translator pendant, short black boots, and a trio of red-brown
leather belts around his waist completed the outfit... along with
the massive Gunsword slung over his shoulder.  Yet, there
could be no doubt that it was the final 3A Multiverse Champion,
the incomparable and occasionally incoherent Lord Thinker.  
     "Does that have a *pistol* grip?  Wow, how does he hold it
up without breaking his wrist?" Joey idly asked as he examined
Lord Thinker's upgraded blade. 
     "You get used to things not making sense with him," JR
smiled as the elder Avatar walked Kate down to the trainer's box
adjacent to the battlefield.  "Anyway, it's nice to see that he
hasn't gone out to pasture, but wonder why he's managing Kate?"
     "Well, Lord Thinker is our official PFFL head of security
now, and apparently some of the other former 3A stars have signed
on as well to help keep the peace," Tony replied, reading
dutifully from his notes.
     "As for Lord T... I bet he's playing the role of bodyguard
more than anything else.  Kate's opponent doesn't exactly have a
good reputation," Joey added, his characteristic enthusiasm
dampening slightly in concern.  "While her opponent may be an
otherdimensional variant of her famous cousin, he's also a known
criminal."

     "Speaking of which," JR interjected as Kate's happy J-Pop
was shortly replaced by first few guitar chords of Creed's
"Higher," "We're about to get our first look at the supposedly
enigmatic Satoshi now." 
     As the music passed the first crescendo, a young man
with appropriately dark and spiky hair stepped out onto the
stage.  Besides a long spiky black ponytail that defied gravity
in a mildly unsettling way, and a notably garish brick red
faux-leather jacket, he was an otherwise somewhat nondescript,
almost friendly-looking young man clad in hiking boots, a black
t-shirt, and light blue jeans.  He didn't seem quite so
intimidated by the roaring crowd as his younger opponent, and
cheerfully made his way down the ramp. Following at
his heels was a small, brown rodentlike pokemon. 
     Tony blinked at the creature.  "Fascinating!  It looks like
Satoshi has something like a Pikachu, but somewhat bigger and
with alternate coloration."
     "You mean a pallette-swap," JR replied flatly. 
     "That's actually Tenchu, a rare second-stage evolution of
Pikachu that's unique to his home universe.  It's supposed to be
really powerful, so it'll be interesting to see if Kate's
Voltorb can stand up to it," Joey reported. 
     "Well, what does she have besides the Voltorb?" Tony
inquired.
     "Nothing."

     JR stared at Joey.  "She's going into this fight with
just... a Voltorb?" 
     "Well... it might be a really *good* Voltorb," he replied
with a shrug. 
     "In any case, the action is about to begin, so we can find
out for ourselves!" Tony proclaimed. 
     

SATOSHI vs. KATE RINGER
League Rules Combat 

     Satoshi quickly and calmly took his place in the trainer's
box at the north end of the battlefield, and unslung his
heavy-looking knapsack to the ground.  Lord Thinker, at the
field's opposite end, let the tip of his Gunsword rest on the
ground just outside the bounds of the battlefield, as Kate took
the pokeball off her belt and threw it. 

     "Voltorb!  I choosing you!" she exclaimed in phenomenally
coherent English. Kate's Voltorb coalesced out of the resultant
explosion of crimson light, and waited impatiently in the
center of the field for its opponent. 
     Satoshi, however, made no move to send his Tenchu into the
battlefield.  Instead, he knelt down, and unzipped the outer
compartment of the backpack, revealing...
     "Wait!  Is that another Voltorb Satoshi's using?" Tony
exclaimed.
     "I... believe so!  According to this, Jerry is a Voltorb
that Satoshi's been training to aid him on his terrorist bombing
missions," Joey added. 
     "... he named it *Jerry*?" JR asked, flatly.
     "Look, JR, I'm not the one that makes this stuff up..."
     "Well, we've already seen that Kate has at least one
advantage going into this match," Tony observed sombrely. 
"Clearly, her opponent is not a mentally stable individual." 

     "For once, Tony, I'm inclined to agree with you," JR nodded. 
"Regardless, it looks like Satoshi will be starting this match
out with... erm, Jerry," he continued as Satoshi's Jerry
hovered out to the center of the ring in a peculiarly arrogant,
almost haughty manner.   The two hovering pokeball-lookalikes
proceeded to grimly eye each other (being capable, after all, of
little else) as they waited for commands from their trainers. 
     And, with appropriate drama, both trainers made their
declarations simultaneously. 
     "Jerry!  Tackle!" Satoshi commanded.
     "Voltirb!  Use to Tackle!" Kate called. 
     Instantly, each of the hovering orbs threw itself at the
other in a strangely graceful charge, colliding together with
enough force to produce a strangely plastic sound that echoed
throughout the arena.  Both Voltorbs were thrown back slightly by
the impact, but promptly charged forward again, creating an exact
duplicate of the previous crash. 
     Then they Tackled each other again.
     And again.  And again.  And again. 
     The crowd's response to the strange contest seemed to be
somewhere between boredom, confusion, and mild indigestion.  The
trainers seemed focused on cheering their particular Voltorb on.
The announcers were, quite frankly, stunned. 
     "This has gone on for almost a minute and a half," Tony
announced to no one particular, glancing at his wristwatch. 
     "And I'm sure it makes Tony feel right at home!"  JR
exclaimed brightly.
     Tony's mature response consisted of scowling at JR and
sulking, muttering dire things about Oklahoma.
 
     Meanwhile, in the battlefield, it was finally beginning to
occur to both trainers that simply having their Voltorbs bash
into each other was slightly ineffective as a winning combat
strategy. As the two spherical pokemon reeled back from their
latest collision, Kate Ringer seized first upon the opening for a
change in tactics. "Voltorb! Thundershocked it!" she yelled from
the sidelines. 
     Kate's Voltorb immediately floated a few inches away from
the opposing Voltorb, a crackling electric halo beginning to
charge about its body. Jerry seemed stunned by his opponents
sudden shift in tactics, but geared up to Tackle him again
regardless.  
     "Jerry!  No!  Don't Tackle, don't Tackle!" Satoshi attempted
to call frantically from the sidelines.  However, even if Jerry
understood and processed the command in time, he most definitely
did not have time to execute it. The opposing Voltorb's wave of
raw electric power slammed into him, doing comparatively little
damage but stunning him just along for Kate to press the attack.
     "Now! Sonic Booming!" 
     Satoshi scowled slightly, and crossed his arms.  "Jerry...
Rage."
     Kate's Voltorb had already begun building up his sonic
charge, in the form of a painfully high-pitched buzzing noise
that grew steadily louder as the attack began focusing.  The
arena's speakers reverberated with painful feedback, as the
announcers tore off their headsets to avoid being deafened by the
intense electrical screeches.  Finally, it all reached a
crescendo of sound as the Voltorb released the powerful sonic
wave, the resultant 'boom' causing the arena's crystalline floor
to develop hairline cracks as the energy wave raced across to
strike its target with unerring accuracy.  Jerry promptly dropped
to the ground, and for a moment, lay motionless. 

     "Is that it?" Tony asked, gingerly putting his headset back
on.  "Did Kate pull off an amazing upset win?"
     "I can't imagine Jerry managing to get up from that..." Joey
continued, nearly breathless.
     "You don't have to, Styles!  It's happening!  Jerry the
Voltorb is up, and Mah God, he looks *angry*!" JR exclaimed
enthusiastically. 
     As surely as the announcers called it, Jerry hovered up,
eyes beginning to glow with an unearthly red light, body
crackling with electricity, as he allowed the untamable spirit of
pokemon fury within take over.  He then rushed at the enemy
Voltorb, slamming into him repeatedly and mercilessly, his
electric aura growing larger and more powerful every time his
foe attempted to fight back.  Eventually, Jerry had pounded his
enemy down to the floor, and the crystalline floor was beginning
to crack slightly under the force of the pressure Kate's battered
Voltorb was being put under. 
     "Viltorb! Light Screan!" Kate shouted desperately.  Her
Voltorb, long since having adjusted to her garbled English,
attempted to respond as best he could.   
     Jerry's next charge was interrupted by the sudden appearance
of a glowing, impenetrable wall of light that surrounded his
opponent.  Jerry screeched electronically in fury and attempted
to throw himself at the luminescent barrier a few more times, but
it was to no avail.  
     "Kate seems to have managed a stalemate here, but that Light
Screen can't hold out forever," Tony noted gravely. 
     "For once, we agree," JR nodded.  "Without an ace in the
hole, that girl's good as done--" 

     "WHOA!" Joey suddenly screamed, right as the glowing orb of
light that encircled Kate's Voltorb simply disappeared... along
with said Voltorb.  Caught in the middle of a final, enRaged
charge, Jerry could do nothing put smash himself painfully into
the crystal floor, his sheer force causing him to plow through it
for a foot or so before he came to rest amongst a pile of sharp,
jagged crystal shards.  Not surprisingly, the unearthly red light
in Jerry's eyes dimmed and finally disappeared entirely. 
     "Orb..." Jerry managed, rocking weakly in place a few times
before fainting. 
     "... is it just me, or did that thing Teleport?" JR asked,
as he glanced up at the still-conscious Voltorb floating by
Kate's side, just inside the battlefield's bounds.
     "It's not just you!  A brilliant tactic employed there by
Kate!" Joey enthused. 
     "A brilliant tactic, for a brilliant win," Tony nodded. 
"Upset wins like are just one element of the madness, the
*unpredictability* that defines the PFFL..."
     Joey blinked.  "... um, Tony?"
     "... hmm?"
     "It's not over yet.  Satoshi registered with *two* pokemon,
and..."
     "Oh.  Nevermind, then," Tony finished.
 
     "Tenchu!  I choose you!" Satoshi's voice suddenly rang out
from his end of the battlefield.  The largish brown
Pikachu-lookalike situated on his shoulder emitted a squeak of
determination, and then vaulted off of his trainer's shoulder to
scamper across the battlefield. 
     "If Kate's Voltorb can pull it off one more time..." JR
began tensely. 
     "... it'd have to be a really, REALLY good Voltorb to do
that," Joey finished speculatively.  "But, heck, from what I've
seen, *anything's* possible here..."
     Kate shouted a command to her Voltorb so garbled that it
proved completely beyond the capabilities of English written
phonetics to render with any degree of accuracy, and sent the
crackling electric orb streaking out into battle to face the
onrushing rodent.   Tenchu's body glowed briefly with a dim azure
halo and crackles of electricity before he suddenly propelled
himself like a high speed mouse bullet at his opponent.  
     "... the hell?!" JR exclaimed, understandably startled by
the strange sight. 
     "Thunder Cannon, one of Tenchu's specialty moves," Joey
explained. 
     "Thunder... whatever," JR said with a rueful shake of his
head. "Voltorb's teleportin' out of the way, naturally, and...
the *hell*?!"
     Tony leaned forward to make sure the martinis he'd had
before the show weren't playing tricks on him, then turned to JR. 
"Tenchu appears to have changed directions in mid-air and
began heading towards Voltorb's new location," he reported
evenly.
     "He turned at a 120 degree angle!" Joey exclaimed, staring
dumbfounded at the battlefield. 
     "Upset moves like this are just one element of the madness,
the *unpredictability* that defines the PFFL..." Tony began
again, voice full of wonder. 
     JR scowled darkly at him.  "Put a sock in it, Schiavone." 

     Confronted unexpectedly with his opponent charging at him
again, almost upon seconds after he materialized, Voltorb did
what any sentient, pseudo-psionic electronic softball would: he
teleported out of the way again.  Tenchu, not surprisingly,
altered his course almost instantly to carry himself away from
the boundary line of the battlefield and towards his opponent
once more.  The high-speed duel continued for almost a minute as
a tense silence settled over the crowd and announcers, each
spectator waiting for one of the combatants involved to make the
single mistake that would cost them the battle. However, Kate's
Voltorb, although clearly powerful, had fought an exhausting
battle mere moments before, and it was only a matter of time
before the speed of electronic thought proved inferior to the
speed of high-velocity contrivance. 
     There was an audible crack as Tenchu connected with
Voltorb's body and drove him to the battlefield's floor, followed
by a flurry of strikes and Tackles almost too quick to be visible
to the naked eye.  However, once the supersonic pseudo-Pikachu
slowed and allowed himself to land on his haunches, it was clear
who the victor would be. 
     "Volt," Kate's Voltorb managed dazedly, before its eyes
rolled back into its head, and it, too, began rolling
unconsciously about the floor. 
     "And... that's it!  Kate did her best, but it just wasn't
enough to outpower her opponent," JR said, a bit ruefully. 
     "Wow!  That was just like watching Dragonball Z! Only with
electric hamsters!" Joey marveled.
     "Electric hamsters like this are just one element of the
madness, the *unpredictability* that defines the PFFL..." Tony's
voice rose once more.
     "Tony, *shut up*!" JR and Joey both shouted at him.  

     Meanwhile, far away from the announcing team's bickering,
Kate rapidly ran out into the battlefield.  "Voltirb!" she wailed
as she finally approached her friend, picking him up and
cradling his battered and exhausted spherical body.  "You tired,
Viltorb! That's all this is mattering!" she consoled him. 
     Satoshi walked across the field to collect his own beaten
Voltorb, and then took a few more steps forward to meet Kate. 
Despite the warning glance leveled at him by Lord Thinker,
he knelt down next to her and smiled in a decidedly un-fearsome,
and in fact rather friendly manner.  "That was a good fight!" he
said pleasantly, his sentiments echoed by a few cheerful
squeaks from Tenchu.  "You trained Voltorb really well, not many
pokemon can keep up with Tenchu."
     Kate and Lord Thinker both blinked in surprise behind their
bottlecap glasses, and Kate hesitantly replied to him.  "Thanking
yuo... you did weil yoursself.  Congraturations, a winner is
you!" 
     "Oh, thanks. But you shouldn't really try to rely on
just one pokemon, no matter how good it is.  If I'd been a Ground
trainer, even a poor one, you wouldn't have stood a chance." 
     "... that's being right, very much right," Kate said
solemnly.  
     "If we're both here next time, bring more pokemon.  I'd like
to have another match," he finished brightly.
     "Oh, yees!  I well be sure to do ot!" She exclaimed,
smiling.  Her recovering Voltorb seemed equally pleased at the
thought of a rematch. 
     "Good!  Well, see you later then... it's time for me to go."
He stood up again, as the sound system cued up the strains of
"Higher" once more, and headed off into the back. 

     Lord Thinker watched, and then scratched his head in wonder.
"... he was a nice guy," he noted, his speech far clearer than
Kate's.
     "Yeah," she nodded, staring.
     The announcers all glanced uneasily at each other as they
watched Satoshi go. 
     "I wonder if he apologizes to people after he blows up their
property..." Joey mused. 
     "You're assuming he's competent enough to get that far," JR
noted dryly, one eyebrow arched. 
     Tony shook his head sagely at JR. "Now, now, Jim, nowhere is
it said that being antisocial is a requirement for being a
terrorist."
     JR stared at him.  "Tony, that's... that's... nevermind,
just nevermind," he finally gave up with a shake of his head. 
"Let's just go to commercial." 

     The menacing guitar thrums of Living Color's "Cult of
Personality" played as black and white photos of confident youths
in form-fitting plugsuits flashed on the screen.
     "TOM DYRON..." A deep voice proclaimed. The camera cut to
footage of Dyron springing off the top turnbuckle, spinning, and
driving a kick into the jaw of Myles Buchanan.
     "Dragon Tooth from the top rope!" Tony's voice exclaimed.
     "His 'Anything Goes Martial Arts' looks remarkably like
lucha libre wrestling..." Joey's voice deadpanned.

     "SUBLIME..."
     An athletic but pale skinned woman with a snug leather vest
is seen in various acts of carnage, blasting away with dual
pistols at Soldier Lucifer and DDTing Joseph the Grey Fox outside
the ring.

     "LISA FOSTER..."
     Shots of Lisa deflecting Sonya's mystical blasts and
returning fire with AT blasts are replaced with her posing for a
baffled Samantha Jones and Rebecca Bartley.
     "We're entering a whole weird area here..." JR's voice
warned.

     "MARRISSA PICARD..."
     "DJ-sama!" A grown-up Marrissa cuddled the bemused Sixth
Child, much to the dismay of Jay Gordan, watching from the
stands. Cut to a younger Marrissa now in a violet plug suit and
deviously handling a bat'telh.
     "She's 14 again, she's plot contriving again, and she's
wearing spandex." Joey sighed. "Just what the 3A needed: more
pubescents in bodysuits."

     "...AND DJ CROFT."
     DJ somersaulted off the top rope, blasting away at Kefkain
with his dual Glock pistols. Cut to DJ firmly snapping David
Kronos back with a fisherman's suplex.
     "Gryphon-Plex for one... two... three..." JR exclaimed as
the shot switches to DJ holding up the 3A Multiverse belt,
surrounded by his comarades. "Mah Gawd... Croft's the new
Multiverse Champion..."

     The ad concluded with a group shot: DJ takes the center with
the 3A Multiverse Champion belt across his shoulder flanked by
Tom Dyron and Lisa Foster, who has her arms wrapped around the
neck and shoulders of Marrissa. Sublime stood to the side with
authority, at least a head taller than the rest of her
associates.
     "THE CHILDREN: One of the most dominant factions in the
history of the Author Avatar Association. See how it all started
on 'The Best of 3A'! Thursday nights on EBN!" The voice over
concluded.
     
     "Not a bad showing from Kate, but her opponent just had way
too much experience. Satoshi moves on to the quarterfinals," Joey
recapped as the camera faded back to the announcer's desk.
     "And his opponent will be determined by *this* next Pokemon
battle!" Tony enthused. 
     "You read the brackets. I'm impressed," JR deadpanned.
     "Our first trainer is the second from Thinker's stable of
characters, Messila Samatha Wetall."
     "Power of Infinity," cued up once again, as Joey read over
his program, straining.
     "Messila... Samatha..."
     "Don't hurt yourself, Joey." JR advised, as "Nookie" 
blared from the sound system. A contemptuous, tall young man in
camouflaged gear and a black duster approached the battle circle
opposite of Messila.
     "Huh, so did they let Nav out on good behavior or
something?" Joey  mused as Felixman twirled is sawed off shotgun
dramatically, much to the aghast crowd's dismay. He peered across
the stunned arena, smiled deviously, and sheathed his weapon in
the folds of his duster.
     "They seem to cut from the same cloth, to be sure..." JR
noted aloud.
     "And after the defeat of his cohort earlier tonight,
Felixman could be out for vengeance." Tony added ominously. "They
take their places, and we begin!"

MESSILA SAMATHA WETALL vs FELIXMAN
League Rules Combat

     "Rattada! Fight for victoly!" Messila called out with gusto,
summoning the small mouse pokemon into the ring. "Ta-da!" the
Rattata yelped in response.
     "My heavens! That pokemon's having difficulties talking,"
Tony remarked with surprise.
     "Not really, considering its owner," Joey shrugged. Felixman
chucked his first pokeball to the ground, releasing a stone
skinned rodent Pokemon that stood slightly taller than Rattata.
     "Felixman seem's to be playing it safe, given his comrade's
defeat," JR noted. "He begins the match with Sandslash."

     "There's *nothing* safe about Felixman, Jim," Joey warned,
as the Ground-based Pokemon readied itself for the charging
mouse. "Rattata lunges in for a Tackle..." Joey winced slightly
as Messila's mouse bonked itself into the Sandslash's torso with
no give. "But that spiked armadillo's just way too solid for
attacks like that..."
     "And given Rattata's limited repertoire of maneuvers, I'm
wonderin' just what else Messila can do," JR added, shaking his
head. After several more futile Tackles, the mouse charged in for
a Swift attack...

     "Sandslash, playtime's over! Strength!" Felixman ordered.
     "Rattata's charging in... and Sandslash stops him dead in
his tracks with a devastating hold!"
     "Or to use the layman's term, 'Bear Hug' Tony," Joey
smirked.
      Tony continued, oblivious to the ECW commentator's jeering.
"Sandslash rears back and flings the mouse behind. He's thrown
helluva far!"
     "'Helluva far?'..." JR shook his head, then looked up as the
spiked Pokemon burrowed into the ground. "That armadillo's not
done yet! It dives into the ground for a Dig attack... Rattata's
just now getting up... and Sandslash explodes out from under
him!"

     "Fury Swipes! Berserker Barrage, BABY!" Felixman yelled
triumphantly.
     "...He's a rather enthusiastic lad, isn't he, gentlemen?"
Tony pondered.
     "But there's no denyin' the results! Combination of slashes
takes Messila's Rattata down! She's going to pull out some
serious firepower to take on that solid Ground Pokemon..." JR
commented.

     Messila fumed slightly, then suddenly beamed gleefully,
whipping out her next Pokemon with pride.
     "Go, Oddish!" She cheered. A tiny bipedal radish sprang to
life in front of the bemused Sandslash. The tips of its tallest
grass-blades stood barely at the armadillo's waist. 
Nevertheless, it looked up with a friendly smile.
     "Osh!"
     "Okay. Messila's doomed," Joey dismissed.
     "Messila gone to her second pokemon, one that's a
*completely different type* from Sandslash!" Tony informed.
     "Why yes, Tony, it is," JR snorted.
     "Well given the numerous elemental types, not including
Flying and Dragon types, such a situation is quite possible,"
Joey intervened.
     "*Don't* encourage him, Styles."

     "Oddish begins its assault with a *barrage* of body
attacks!" Tony  cried out... as the radish Pokemon hopped up and
rammed its head lightly  into Sandslash's rocky belly.
     "...which aren't... really... doing anything," Joey sighed.
     "Sandslash shoves him out of the way, he's just toying with
him-- Oh COME ON!" JR protested as it kicked up a Sand Attack
into Oddish's face. Jim Ross then blinked as the adorable grass
Pokemon stood vigilantly against its larger foe. "But he's not
backing down..."

     "He appears to actually be trying to do something." Tony
replied, actually surprised. A faint greenish glow illuminated
both Pokemon, and a  stream of energy flowed from Sandslash into
the now-revitalized Oddish.
     "Did it ever!" Joey enthused, "That Absorb took a lot out
that big guy!"
     "And Felixman seems distracted by something in the
stands..." JR noted. "Not the right time to lose your focus,
kid."
     "Oddish is wandering about the wounded Sandslash..." Tony
commented. "Trotting, even..."
     "Not a trot, its... dancing?" Joey wondered aloud.
          
     "Oddith, Sword Dance!" Messila commanded. "Dance like you
want to win!"
     "OSH!" Oddish yelped in response.
     "It's picking up momentum, springing quite nimbly around
Felixman's Sandslash. It better attack *right now* before it
recovers!" Tony added  dramatically.
     "Now Petal Dance! Get down tonight!" Messila called out.
     "It's doing just that, Tony, look at it go!" JR remarked.
"That li'l Oddish is literally dancing up a storm. Drilling a
barrage of leaves right into Sandslash's earthy hide! And... it
finally goes down!"

     Felixman snorted with contempt and shot another glance into
the upper stands.
     "What's he looking for up there?" Joey pondered. Felixman
recalled the unconscious Sandslash back and withdrew another
Pokeball from his belt.
     "Primeape! Knock this damn veggie's block off!"
     "PRIME!" the enraged monkey Pokemon bellowed.
     "Donkey Kong Junior there might be too powerful for
Messila's Oddish to handle." JR worried. Both Messila and her
Oddish gazed nervously as Primeape stomped about violently.
     "Strength *and* fighting technique, Jim." Tony added, as the
Primeape launched into a kata of various punches and kicks.
"Although one of the more common Fighting types, Primeapes have a
vast arsenal of fighting skill."
     "Yeah, that's nice." Joey dismissed. "Perhaps if it actually
*came up* to Oddish and used those moves I'd be more impressed."

     "Thrash Attack, now!" Felixman yelled.
     Oddish panicked as the barbaric monkey began to charge. The
radish cried out and began trembling, squeezing its eyes tight
with fear. 
     "My stars, this could be it, fellas." JR sighed. "Primeape's
lunging in and..."
     "And..." Tony began coughing and wrinkling his nose. A thick
green cloud engulfed both Pokemon as the monkey dove toward the
panicked Oddish. "Ewww... what's that Oddish doing?!"
     "Bad Carbos before the match, maybe?" Joey shrugged.
     "Actually, fellas, I think that little Oddish is using some
of its defensive gas attacks."
     "I'd say so, Jimmy, and it looks like it caught a mouthful!"
Joey remarked as the Primeape staggered out of the gas cloud. It
collapsed to all fours, coughing and wheezing, before finally
collapsing face first into the dirt. A few seconds, an unharmed
Oddish wandered out of the dispersing cloud and looked down at
the knocked out monkey Pokemon.
     "Osh?" it asked with curiosity.

     "Strange as it sounds, this Oddish is on a ramapage." Joey
blinked.
     "There's a difference in the number of Pokemon remaining."
Tony announced.  "As that little Grass Pokemon has knocked out
all but Felixman's final Pokemon!"
     "No kidding." JR asked. Suddenly, gunshots rang out near the
entry ways. "What it the world!? Someone get a camera crew over
there!"
     Up in the stands, a frantic Ded burst through the crown of
panicked spectators. He spun to level his shotgun down the
runway, when Lord Thinker rushed up to intercept the militant
youth, slashing and destroying his weapon with a trigger-induced
explosion of his gunblade. The resulting blast set Ded flailing
to the ground, and the former 3A champion was quick to pin and
subdue him.

     "Our crack PFFL security team is subduing the threat!" Tony
proclaimed.
     "And I'm pretty sure we have the identity of our Lone Gunman
from earlier tonight..." JR grumbled.
     Meanwhile, on the battlegrounds, the combatants were gazing
up at the ensuing melee. Felixman snarled back to the ring in
rage and whipped out his remaining Pokeball.
     "Charmeleon! Finish the job! SEISMIC TOSS!"
     "Look out! From behind Charmeleon--" Joey exclaimed. His jaw
dropped as the unsuspecting Oddish turned to face it. The
miniature fire dragon slapped it  into the air with its tail,
then hopped airborne after it, grabbed it, and drove it into the
ground.
     
     The PFFL announcing team was dazed as Charmeleon got up and
backed away from the injured Oddish.
     "A devestating combination move!" Tony promptly remarked.
     "... practically bounced him off the ground," JR uttered,
stunned.
     "HE JUST PUNKED ODDISH!" Joey raved, aghast.
     "And it ain't through yet! Talk about overkill..." JR
protested.

     Felixman wiped his nose contemptuously. "Flamethrower, toast
it's leafy ass!"
     Messila looked on with horror and threw her remaining
Pokeball out in desperation. "Chamarder, Double Team to block!"
     The smaller red dragon materialized in front of the slowly
recovering Oddish, holding its arms apart to shield his
vulnerable parter from the flames.
     "CHAM!" it cried out as the stream flowed over it.
     "This is one situation where fighting fire with fire *won't*
pay off!" Tony informed.
     "But against it's evolved opponent, Charmander can't hold up
for long..." Joey worried.
     "I can't believe Oddish is still up after that..." JR
breathed. "That little radish don't know the meaning of the word
'quit'." 
     Tony paused and looked over to his WWF cohort. "You realize
what you just said, right Jim?"
     "Messila better to something fast here, guys..." Joey
worried, as the Charmeleon through a volley of Embers, one after
another, at the vigilant Charmander.

     "Oddish, gather energy, just a little more... please..."
Messila sniffled watching nervously.
     "Oshid..." the tired radish mewed, and slowly began glowing
a golden yellow. 
     Messila's Chamander buckled and staggered back after a solid
Ember erupted on its chest, and one more collided and exploded.
The charred Charmander collapsed in front of the weary but
glowing Oddish. Both Felixman and his Charmeleon glared
diabolically at the injured Grass Pokemon.

     "Now... finish him, Charmeleon. Fire Punch! Shinryu Reppa,
bitch!"
     The Charmeleon roared and advanced, his claws consumed in
flame...
     "Now, Oddish! Light up it's life... with Solar Beam!"
     "OSHOSH!"
     "Mah Gawd! It just...!" JR cried out, as Oddish lowered its
head. It's petals extended to their full length and a dazzling
beam of light erupted from its blossom and swept through the
shocked Charmeleon. The small dragon was launched back to where
Felixman was standing. The shocked young man dove out of the way
as the knocked out fire Pokemon skidded to a stop where he had
been standing.
     The beam died down, and the drained Oddish exhaled hevily
and flopped to the ground in a sitting position.
     "Osh," it uttered with a tired smile. 

     The announcers stared in amazement as Messila joyously
hugged her Oddish, and Felixman could do nothing but stare in
shock.  
     "Ded and Felixman *both* taken out in the first round...
that's a major, major upset!" Joey exclaimed. 
     "And Felixman doesn't look like he's taking losing to one of
Thinker's girls too well," JR mused as he watched Felixman's face
slowly begin to contort in anger. 
     "Well, Felixman is clearly a very proud and brash young ma--
Ohmygoodness!  It's looks like Felixman's going for his SHOTGUN!"
Tony suddenly screamed.
     JR's eyes widened in panic.  "And Messila's too busy with
Oddish to see... get outta there, girl!  Get out fast!" 

     Felixman had already drawn a bead on Messila, much to the
crowd's dismay, when he felt a light tapping on his shoulder.  
     "Back the hell off!" Felixman snarled, jerking his shoulder
to throw the offending hand off. "I'm busy!" 
     "Your match is over.  You need to clear out to make room for
the next contenders."
     Felixman froze in place, then slowly turned around and
blinked to see the speaker behind him: Lord Thinker, massive
Gunsword slung over one shoulder, and a challenging smirk on his
usually friendly face. 
     With a scowl, Felixman lowered his gun and moved to stomp
back towards the entrance way. "Whatever.  We're not outta this
yet, asshole," he muttered darkly as he shoved his way past
Lord Thinker. 
     The Incoherent One simply let him go, and moved to escort
the joyous and appropriately oblivious Messila out of the
battlefield.  

     "Well... Felixman is hardly what we could call a graceful
loser," Tony huffed. 
     "He's not a graceful *anything*," Joey frowned.  "And I
wouldn't take that threat lightly. He didn't look happy, and
there's nothing more dangerous than a bruised ego in fights like
this." 
     JR nodded.  "But at least we managed to get through that
match at least with nothing worse than a visit to our Pokemon
Center can fix.  Not sure I can say the same about our next
fight... Joey, what's this "Circle of Masters" thing they're
talking about for the Main Event?" 
     "Well, it's the second set of rules qualified PFFL
contenders can fight by... but here's Mike Tenay and Michael Cole
to explain it in detail!  Mikes?" Joey responded. 

     The peppy tune of the Pokemon Game Boy Game once more played
over a still of Mike Tenay and Michael Cole strolling the streets
of Saffron City. The segment's title materialized off to the
side...  

CIRCLE OF MASTERS

     The Game Boy tune was soon replaced by "Duel of the Fates"
from "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace". Blaine, an imposing figure
in crimson plate armor and billowing red cape held out the hilt
of his flame sword. One blade ignited... then another ignited
from the opposite end! Footage rolled of his fight against the
lady warriors Erika, clothed in a forest green cloak and armed
with a staff, and Mistaria, a long haired Misty in an alarmingly
snug blue tunic and cloak, armed with a sword of ice. Mike
Tenay's voice is heard over the ensuing battle.
     "From a grim, edgy, and quasi-mystical future of the Indigo
Islands comes the second format of the PFFL: The Circle of
Masters..."
     "In this format," Michael Cole's voice informed, "it is the
trainers themselves that do battle."
     "With the approval of two willing trainers, the Circle of
Masters is the proving ground of fighting skill and elemental
prowess."
     "The battle takes place in a circular field similar to
standard Pokemon fights." Along with Cole's description, an
overhead shot of said ring appeared, with Masters Ashura and
Bruno standing within it.
     "The battle continues until one combatant is unable to
continue - via knock out, submission, or if the trainer is
knocked clear of the Circle's perimeter."
     "Such a grueling format can only take place, however, with
the permission of both able-bodied trainers." Cole concluded.
     The footage ended... with a close up of a plastic action
figure holding a mic that vaguely resembled Mike Tenay, complete
with a molded smiling expression. 
     "For the PFFL, this is Mike Tenay!" The scene panned out to
a second Michael Cole-like action figure sitting stiffly next to
him. The camera further panned back to show a child's room, where
a dark haired girl with a flowing dress and matching hat fiddled
with other figures in a toy wrestling ring.
     "We *had* to talk to her, didn't we!?" Cole griped.
     "An interview with an actual Gym Leader seemed like a good
idea for the series..." Tenay replied meekly.
     "You and your 'on location reports'..."

     The camera faded back to a shot of the announcers desk, a
trio of baffled looks greeting it.
     "I think someone needs to assist the Mikes, pronto..." JR
worried.
     "Figures got as much personality as them, at least," Joey
quipped awkwardly.
     "I'm sure we have Jennies on the scene as we speak," Tony
comforted with perfectly artificial concern.  "But judging from
their description, the Circle of Masters sounds like a truly
grueling set of combat rules."
     "Yeah... anything goes as long as both contenders stay in
bounds... that's pretty extreme, if I say so myself," Joey
nodded.
     "Well, it sounds like they won't let the Circle of Masters
be run unless both contenders are tough enough to take it... and
from the looks of things, I think both of the fighters in our
Main Event can handle the danger!" JR finished. 
     The cheerful sounds of the Magic Knight Rayearth first
season OP, "Yuzurenai Negai," rang throughout the arena.   As the
electric guitars kicked in, a somewhat short fourteen year old
girl with fiery red braided ponytail and an odd outfit consisting
of white boots and armor plates laid over a bright red Japanese
schoolgirl's uniform bounded down the rampway.  She smiled and
waved to the enthusiastic crowd, and ran down to take her place
in the trainer's box.   
     "Well, fans might recognize her as the Magic Knight of Fire,
Hikaru Shidou," JR announced.  "But apparently she took up
pokemon training at some point, and changed her last
name to..."  JR squinted as he looked at her information file. 
"... Ketchum? *Another* one?"
     "Maybe it's sorta like "Smith," in pokeworld," Joey
shrugged.  
     "Styles, Ross?" Tony suddenly asked.  He was gazing down at
Hikaru's entrance ramp, a perplexed expression on his face. 
"Would either of you happen to know what that pokemon
that's following Hikaru is?" 
     JR blinked.  "... looks sorta like a Clefairy."
     "Um... both wrong, guys.  That's not a pokemon." Joey
finished, as the white, marshmallowy creature that was the topic
of discussion bounded down to stand beside Hikaru,
emitting a cheerful "Puu!  Puu!" 
     "That's Mokona," Joey continued.  "He's... well... he's...
um, he's Mokona." 
     "So what does it do?" JR asked.
     "... I have no idea," Joey answered.  "As far as I know,
Mokona's not a combatant... Hikaru registered with a Charmeleon
as her pokemon, though we're not likely to see it in this
match." 
     All three announcers quickly broke off their conversation as
the almost painfully loud, discordant wailing of an electric
guitar ripped through the arena.  It grew steadily louder, until
it erupted into a crescendo of savage riffs.   Once Metallica's
"Blackened" had reached its full fury, a tall figure clad
completely in black, his cloak floating gently in the slight
breeze of the arena, began striding down the opposite entrance
ramp. 
     "... who is *that*?" Tony breathed. 
     "That's Ashura the Assassin!" Joey exclaimed.  "He's another
version of the famous Pokemon protagonist from a dark future...
but I get the feeling he's not going to turn out as harmless as
Satoshi did!"  
      "... "the Assassin"?  What the hell is he supposed to be,
some kind of ninja or somethin'?" JR snorted in derision. 
     "Well... yeah, JR," Joey nodded.   "Look, I told you I'm not
the one that makes this stuff up..." he continued, as JR stared
at him in blank disbelief. 
     "Well, regardless, this 'Ashura' has taken his place at the
trainer's box, so it looks like the action is about to begin!"
Tony called.            
               
MAIN EVENT: 
ASHURA vs. HIKARU 
Circle of Masters Combat 

     Hikaru smiled across the field at her opponent, and
enthusiastically tossed a pokeball from hand to hand.  "I know I
agreed to fight you for real, Mr. Ashura," Hikaru said, "But
could we have a regular pokemon battle first?  I've never gotten
to use Charmeleon in a real League match before!" 
     Her opponent glanced up slightly, his golden-brown eyes
boring into her from behind their veil of unruly, spiky black
bangs.  After a long moment, he smirked.  "... it's not strong
enough. It couldn't survive a fight with Pikachu." 
     Hikaru blanched, along with the announcers and most of the
audience.  "Not s-survive? But what sort of pokemon would do
something like that?" 
     "A Forbidden one.  Pikachu, I choose you!" Ashura pronounced
grimly. 
     A little black form suddenly darted out of the backpack
concealed beneath Ashura's flowing cloak.  It moved in a dark
blur of speed to eventually sit on its haunches in front of its
trainer, revealing itself to be a pitch-black Pikachu with
piercing, almost glowing cobalt-blue eyes. 
     "Pika," it stated menacingly.
     The announcers stared, temporarily struck dumb by the odd
sight.  
     "*Another* damned pallette-swap?!" JR finally exclaimed. 
     "I want to know who gave Raven a trainer's license," Joey
added dazedly. 
     "... bloodthirsty Pikachu..." was all Tony could manage. 

     Hikaru stared uncomfortably at her opponent's pokemon, while
Mokona emitted a "Puu" of dismay and huddled behind her ankles. 
"I... well, alright, if you say so.  Did you bring a sword,
or are we going to fight the regular way?   I know kendo, so it's
alright either way!" she exclaimed, cracking her knuckles. 
     "Your sword.  I want to see your full power," Ashura said,
his voice one of command. 
     "... my full power?  But why?" 
     "Just do it," Ashura repeated, coldly. 

     "... what on earth is going *on* out there?" JR asked aloud. 
The crowd was utterly dead silent, trying to figure out what to
make of Hikaru and Ashura's strange standoff. 
     "Ashura doesn't seem to take Hikaru seriously at all, and
Hikaru seems to be... rather..." Tony trailed off.
     "... excessively nice?" Joey filled in.  " I don't know...
Magic Knights are tough enough to save a whole world from
destruction.  Ashura may regret treating her like... well, a
little girl." 
  
     A flood of brilliant white light cascaded from the large red
jewel set into the back of Hikaru's white gauntlet.  It coalesced
into the form of an enormous broadsword, easily as big - if
not bigger - than Hikaru herself.  Despite its massive size,
though, she could wield it easily with just one hand.  She idly
flipped it around, into an inverted position that pointed the
blade downward at the ground, and then gripped the hilt with both
hands as she took a more balanced stance.  "Alright... ready when
you are!" 
     
     Ashura did not move to withdraw some appropriate sword, like
a ninja-to, from the shadowy recesses of his cloak.  Instead, he
extended a hand, palm outstretched, and spoke a single phrase of
command.  "Pikachu... Shadow Blade." 
     The little black electric rodent shut his blue eyes, as
bolts of a strange black lightning-like energy began crackling
off of his body.  Soon, his body seemed to dissolve completely
into a flood of shadow that cracked with electric viciousness as
it tore at the light that surrounded it. The seething black
energy quickly drew itself into a black, crackling thunderbolt
that materialized in Ashura's closed hand.  As if being shaped
and molded by some superior will, the black energy then began to
calm and coalesce, seeming to 'freeze' itself into the form of an
inestimably sharp ebon katana.  The black blade and hilt did not
shine at all under the arena's lights, instead seeming to devour
the light into its shadowy depths. 
     With one hand, Ashura swung the sword out to one side, and
then slowly into position in front of him. "A true Master is
always ready," he intoned, voice emotionless, as he placed his
free hand on the Shadow Blade's hilt as well. 

     "... I have absolutely nothing to say to that," JR said,
simply. 
     "Absolutely nothing," Joey added with a mute nod. 
     "... bloodthirsty *sword* Pikachu..." Tony babbled on. 
  
     "Now!" Ashura shouted.  "Attack!" 
     "What?  But I don't..." 
     "So be it," he interrupted.  With a motion so fluid and
rapid that it was almost too fast for the human eye to follow, he
leapt unnaturally high into the air.  He seemed to hover for just
a moment at the apex of his jump before gravity pulled him
downwards, his sword poised for a terrible slash.  
     The threat of impending violence snapped Tony out of his
absurdity-induced stupor. "My *goodness*!  That move's likely to
*injure* Hikaru!" 
     Fortunately, JR and Joey never had time to yell at him.  The
second she realized what Ashura was doing, Hikaru flew into
motion of her own, slamming the massive blade of her sword
into the Arena's crystal floor.  The blade of unbreakable Escudo
buried itself deeply into the ground, allowing Hikaru to use its
hilt to balance herself as she vaulted off the floor.  Her legs
rose high into the air, eventually over her head, allowing her to
land a vicious missile dropkick to Ashura's chest before he could
swing his katana!   
     Hikaru used her sword's hilt to vault backwards and land on
both feet.  Ashura flew backwards, somehow flipping in air so he
landed in a palm stand.  After holding a perfect one-
handed handstand for a second, he flipped back to his feet and
allowed one corner of his mouth to curve upward in a smile. 
"Kittens.  Cute." 
     
     JR blinked in surprise.  "... Kittens?  What's he talking
about?"
     Joey, however, had already buried his face in his hands in
agony.  "JR," he mumbled.  "I think she forgot she was wearing a
fuku when she did that kick." 
     "... mah God," JR breathed.  "He *didn't*."
     "Judging from the look on Hikaru's face, I'd say he did,"
Tony managed.  Though she had pulled her massive Escudo sword
free from the ground, a massive blush now covered her face,
and her other hand was rather futilely tugging downward on her
seifuku's skirt. 
     "And she's not even the *cute* one," Joey sighed, as if that
would've made Ashura's crime somehow more forgivable.  

     "Pathetic."  Ashura's whisper barely carried over the live
feeds as he abruptly charged forward, slashing his katana with
almost superhuman speed. Hikaru barely blocked the first strike,
and clumsily at that, but quickly gathered her composure and
braced her sword's hilt with a second hand.  Impossibly, she
managed to match her parries with the rapid speed of Ashura's
slashes and swipes, and quickly began turning the tide of the
battle, using her sword's superior size to batter Ashura
backwards with a series of rapid, powerful counter-strikes.  
     "I think we're seein' a bit of very justified righteous
wrath from Hikaru," JR commented. 
     "Like I said, you don't take Magic Knights lightly!" Joey
added with a nod.  "At this rate, Hikaru may well drive Ashura
out of bounds... he's getting close, too close to the lines..." 
     Hikaru and Ashura locked swords again, blades straining
against each other with all the strength the wielders could bring
to bear, faces inches apart.  Finally, Ashura managed to
powerfully wrench both his and Hikaru's swords aside, his flowing
black cape beginning to billow upwards around him, almost as if
it was alive. He quickly freed one hand from his katana's hilt,
and pointed its palm towards Hikaru's face.  
     "SHADOW FLASH!" he cried. A flood of dark energy seethed
from Ashura's hand, enveloping his opponent before seemingly
fading away to nothingness.  
     "What on earth?" Tony asked, staring at the scene in
confusion.
     "Well, considering how little sense the attack name made..."
Joey added with a shrug.
     "Styles, you oughta know by now that doesn't make a
difference!" JR exclaimed urgently. "Judgin' from Hikaru's
reaction, whatever Ashura was tryin' to do worked!"      
     And, surely enough, Hikaru suddenly reeled backwards and
screamed, slashing with her sword what seemed to be nothing!

     Ashura took a moment to catch his breath as Hikaru struggled
against her unknown, unseen attackers.  He watched her for a
moment, another dark smile playing across his face, before he
began methodically stalking towards her.  He easily parried one
of her frantic slashes, and countered with a crushing downward
strike that sent her massive sword clattering to the ground! 
While Hikaru was still staggering, he then casually swiped his
blade at her face, the tip nicking across her flesh to leave a
bleeding cut right along her cheekbone. 
     The crowd hissed and booed in disapproval.  The announcers
were no happier. 
     "Mah God in heaven!  This is our first damned show, and
we've already got blood?!  Ah thought this was supposed to be
*safer* than the 3A was!" JR shouted. 
          "I don't think Mally was counting on competitors like
Ashura--OH... MY... GOD!  He did it again, Hikaru's other cheek
is busted *wide open*!" Joey continued.
     "What on earth is Ashura trying to prove by this... this
flagrantly disrespectful behavior?" Tony asked, sternly.  

     Ashura continued circling Hikaru, aiming a few lazy slashes
at her arms and legs.  Like the slashes to her face, they struck
only deeply enough to draw blood and make Hikaru cry out in pain. 
 Finally, he lashed out with hard punch to her midsection,
followed by a terrific roundhouse kick aimed at her shoulders.  
Hikaru's buckled over, screamed, and eventually collapsed into a
heap on the ground. 
     "You... are the most *pathetic* excuse for a Fire trainer I
have ever seen," Ashura said coldly, calmly, as he stood over
her. He tightened his grip on his katana, and carefully aimed one
final slash at the base of Hikaru's neck... 

     "Oh my God!  Security, where's security?!" Tony screamed, as
panic overtook the frantic crowd. 
     "Lord Thinker's been called from the back, but if he can't
make it here in time..." Joey trailed off tensely.  
     "That girl doesn't have time to wait!" JR shouted. 
"Ashura's rarin' that sword of his back... somebody's gotta do
something!" 
     However, another voice soon cut through the frantic voices
of the announcers, a voice that rose in a brave and defiant
shout.  
     "FIRE ARROW!" 

     A terrific flash of light suddenly blossomed in the middle
of the battlefield.  An enormous shadow engulfing Hikaru's body
briefly became visible, but it was quickly shredded to pieces by
the emerging tendrils of fiery red energy.  They swirled about
Hikaru's body before drawing themselves into the red gem set into
her gauntlet... and then, with a forward thrust of her arm, 
blasted forth at Ashura!  The arrow-like burst of mystic fire
exploded squarely into Ashura's right shoulder, and threw him
down the length of the field, only narrowly escaping being thrown
out of bounds. 
     Hikaru slowly stood up, breathing deeply, blood flowing
freely over her armor plates and soaking into the seifuku
beneath.  The crowd roared in approval as she began slowly
walking towards her fallen sword.  
     "I told you!" Joey cheered from the announcer's booth.  "You
don't take a Magic Knight lightly!" 
     "An impressive showing from Hikaru, very impressive indeed,"
Tony nodded. 
     "I've gotta admit, pullin' that move out at the last minute
certainly surprised me..."
     Joey abruptly interrupted JR. "Wait--OhmyGod! Ashura's back
on his feet... and he's closer to Hikaru's sword than she is!"  
     Despite Hikaru's close-range Fire Arrow, Ashura was indeed
in action once again, and seemed to have taken no damage more
lasting than burnt clothing and singed hair!  With an
elegant dive and roll, he managed to snag up Hikaru's sword while
still keeping a grip on his own... that is, until Hikaru's sword
dissolved into a bolt of raw flame in his hand.   
     "What in the..." JR trained off.
     "Only a Magic Knight can touch her sword... if anybody else
touches it, they trigger a defense mechanism!" Joey replied
helpfully.  
     "Incredible!  How on earth do you know all of this, Joey?"
Tony asked.
     "Read the comics," Joey said with a shrug. 
     
     Ashura quickly drew his badly burnt hand back with a snarl
and a storm of cursing, while Hikaru merely stretched forth her
gauntlet-covered hand and drew the flaming energy back into 
it. She then stretched forth her hands, and began glowing with an
intense crimson aura. 
     "Hikaru appears to be preparing another spell..." Tony
began, urgency in his voice.
     "Ya think?" JR sighed with a roll of his eyes. 
     "This *has* to be it!" Joey exclaimed.  "After that first
Fire Arrow, another blast would send Ashura clear out of the
arena, and he certainly doesn't look like he's in any shape to
dodge!" 
     "Assumin' Ashura doesn't have any more tricks up his cloak,"
JR replied grimly as he could manage. 

     A ball of crimson electrical and fire energy quickly began
forming between Hikaru's hands, growing in size as it did in
power.  Once it was the approximate size of a volleyball, she
thrust her hands forward, and fearlessly shouted, "RED
LIGHTNING!"  
     The energy orb ripped forth from her hands and screamed
towards Ashura with unerring accuracy, a trail of electrified
fire burning the air in its wake.  Ashura simply gritted his
teeth, forced his burnt hand around the hilt of his sword, and
held it up before him.  "Electric Shield!" he hissed, a crackling
field of black lightning emanating from the katana's blade. 
Hikaru's Red Lightning spell smashed into it... and the Electric
Shield held, cobalt-blue sparks raining from it as Hikaru's spell
continued desperately trying to batter it down. 
     "This is it..." JR breathed.  
     "One shall stand, one shall fall!" Tony stated with a
stunning lack of shame. 
     "Hikaru's magic is powered by raw willpower... if she wants
it *badly* enough, she can win this..." Joey tersely continued. 

     Ashura's head suddenly snapped upwards, and he glared
directly into his opponent's eyes. "BLACK..." he began, new
tendrils of dark lightning beginning to wrap about his katana's
perfectly black blade.   He then made a powerful rising slash
with the katana, cleaving his own Electric Shield and Hikaru's
Red Lightning in two, and tearing both to shreds in a sudden
overwhelming surge of black electricity. 
     "... LIGHTNING!" 
     An ebon shockwave ripped forward along towards Hikaru with
stunning speed.  Almost before the announcers were even aware it
was there, it had smashed into her body, shattering the
white armor plate that protected her chest and sending her
hurtling to the ground.  She lay motionless on the ground, and
did not get up.  
     Joey stared at the scene incredulously. "... or she can get
taken out by a freak one-shot.  Where the hell did Ashura get the
energy to pull that off?!" he shouted. "It's like a fricking
Kenshin episode!"
     "Kenshin Ketchum does have a certain ring to it," JR
replied, dryly. 
     "Whatever," Joey grumbled. 
     "In any case, you must admit, this is a very impressive
first showing for Ashura the Assassin!" Tony called with
enthusiasm.  "With fighting skills like that, we could very well
be looking at our first PFFL Champion!" 
     "If fighting skills had anything to do with pokemon
training, Tony, I'd be more impressed," JR noted. 
     "Well, in his world, they *do*, but still... come on, he
didn't have to be this brutal!  What if he'd been matched against
a kid like Arina or Kate Ringer?" Joey asked.  "I'm all for
putting everything on the line in a match, but this is nuts!"
     "Well, our Chief of Security seems to think the same," Tony
nodded as Lord Thinker lectured a quietly indifferent Ashura in
the battlefield. "And, admittedly, Ashura's tactics were
harsh, but I think we can all agree that the Circle of Masters
was never meant for the faint of heart."  
     "Well, at leave we've got the paramedics out to Hikaru...
lord, I did not see this coming for the ending to our first
match, folks." JR shook his head as the camera closed in on a
shot of a senseless Hikaru being toted away into the back on a
stretcher by a group of frowning Nurse Joys, her fellow Magic
Knights Umi and Fuu following anxiously behind.  Mokona was also
waddling anxiously after, escorted by an honor guard of Chanseys.

     "Well... I think I can safely say that this is the sort of
unpredictability that our viewers *now* expect from the PFFL,"
Tony added, smugly. 
     "Tell me about it!  If all this insane stuff happened this
week, can you imagine what's going to happen in the *second* half
of the qualifying round?  Or in the quarterfinals?  Even if I
wasn't announcing this, I know I'd be in the front row!" Joey
said, a bit more cheerfully. 
     "In any case, friends, we'll be back here next week, same
time and same channel, with another card full of PFFL action that
you don't want to miss! Until then... on behalf of my colleague
Joey Styles and WCW's Tony Schiavone, this is Jim Ross wishing
you a good night!" 
_________________________________________________________________

NEXT TIME on the Pokemon Fan Fic League: 

Opening Round, Part 2: 

Sailor Pikagirl vs. Dario Dariani

Crystal Dagger vs. Garrett Edgerton

Ben Masters vs. Ryan Edgerton

Shigeru Adauchi vs. Skye Dream

Voting Ballot coming soon to a website near you!
_________________________________________________________________

Author's Notes:  

Tim: It took it's sweet, sweet time, but PFFL's finally here.
Well, hopefully y'all enjoyed it as much as we did writing it.
Check in soon (hopefully soon ^^;) for the second half of the
opening matches of PFFL!

Alicia: Well, here's the first PFFL show.  Didn't think it was
coming out, ne?  Well, tabulating votes can take awhile!  Keep
with us, though, and no matter what the wait... we'll get part
two out!  
_________________________________________________________________

All characters appearing within this story are *not* the property
of PTB Productions.  PTB Productions lays no claim to any
licenses or trademarks in the making of this fic, and means no
offense to anyone.  This story is written in the spirit of
good-natured comedy, and it is our sincere hope that you will
read the original works these characters came from.  You might
just be surprised!  

The PFFL itself, however, is the creation of PTB Productions, all
rights reserved.  
_________________________________________________________________