BEFORE YOU READ: The PFFL is a fighting tournament whose intent is to harmlessly poke fun at the decidedly (and delightfully) weird world of Pokemon fanfiction, particularly its SI and Mary Sue aspects... though we are not limited to those. The 16 contenders for this tournament were chosen based purely on popular vote. New characters beyond those sixteen will not be admitted until such time as we choose to hold another tournament, and another vote to determine who *those* sixteen contenders will be. The match outcomes are also determined by vote, and a ballot for the upcoming card can usually be found posted at our homepage, along with the tournament's brackets. All readers are invited to cast their votes regarding the outcome of future matches. The show's writers, however, do not vote in said ballot, and make no decisions regarding the outcome of matches save in the cases of a tie vote. You may send comments and criticisms to the writers via e-mail: Alicia Ashby: aashby@roanoke.edu Tim McLees: silvertooth_15@yahoo.com Enjoy the show! _________________________________________________________________ MCDUCK MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM SAINT CANARD The roaming cameras opened on a view of the sun setting on the coastal city of St. Canard and its trademark suspension bridge. It then turned its attention to the colorful street sides around the modern stone and steel arena. Inside, the predominantly furry toon audience began to filter into the arena's seating, various conversing and cheering echoing throughout the arena. Positioned on the arena floor, and right next to the entrance way and ramp, sat the PFFL commentator's desk, where currently only senior WWE announcer Jim Ross sat... Jim turned in his chair to greet the hovering camera. "Ah, welcome everyone to tonight's Pokemon Fight!" he invited. "Thing's have been fairly chaotic these past months for Mally and her staff... as you can see, we've lost most of our announcing staff." "Sadly, my cohorts had to pursue other matters: Joey Styles returned to followin' the Internet wrestling scene and Tony... well, he mentioned somethin' about having to go back to his home planet." JR shrugged. "Fortunately, the Lesser Muse of Kitsch has gotten on the horn and has acquired the services of a new Pokemon Fight commentator. A certified *monster combat expert!* Someone that, I'm sure, will bring respect to the PFFL announcing ta--" "Hey, Jimbo! What's up?" The startled Oklahoma native turned behind him to find the source of the vaguely nasal voice. The stocky young man wore a simple black suit with a red collared shirt underneath. His dark hair was unkept with thick sideburns, and a small plastic figure resembling the horned monster Baragon poked out from his breast pocket. The seasoned announcer blinked at him. "Well... we were about to start tonight's Pokemon Fight..." "Sweet, I made it in time! Louden Noxious, at your service!" Louden shook JR's hand and smiled with the subtle charm of a used car salesman. "And for those playing at home, I'm the head commentator for epic city- crushing events that some call... the *Kaiju Big Battel.*" "Okay..." JR wheeled his chair over in front of his monitor and began conspicuously picking through his notes, smiling and nodding all the while. "The Kaiju Regulatory Commission has caught word on some of the monster combat that has been occurring on this show and has sent me, Louden Noxious, to report on whether these 'Pocket Monsters' are a force for good... or evil." Louden adjusted his notes and grinned back to Jim Ross. "So, shall we?" Hilary Duff's "Come Clean" cued up over the loudspeakers, signaling the impending entrance of one of the first combatants. "Our first match features a returning contender to PFFL: Skye Dreame!" JR began as the curtains parted to present the night's first trainer. A lithe young teenager strolled down the rampway, waving merrily to the nearby fans. She wore her shiny black hair back in a long ponytail, and clad in a snug blue t-shirt and denim jeans. "You folks might remember her run in last year's tournament: She had a promising showing against Adauchi, and hooked up with the teen roughnecks, the Partnerz In Kryme." "And since then, she seems to have made a successful run in collecting the eight badges of the Kanto Pokemon League," Louden added. Skye took her position at her trainers box as her bubbly pop theme eased down. "That's fairly straight-forward, but how do you explain her *opponent*, Jimmy?" Yuki Kajiura's famous "Key of the Twilight" from the .hack//SIGN OST was the next song to cue up over the sound system. The arena's lighting dimmed to allow an emerald spotlight to highlight the rampway, which was now inexplicably covered in a fine fog. A green-robed figure emerged from the curtain, head lowered. The figure pulled her gloved hands up to lower her emerald hood, revealing the gentle smile and brown eyes of a young woman with short-cropped blue-black hair. "Erika here was once the Celedon City gym leader, an expert in Grass Pokemon," Louden quoted with a smirk. "Then, after war ravaged her homeland, she, among with an elite selection of Pokemon trainers... gained superpowers? How is a match-up like this fair to Skye?" "You'd be amazed at what some of these youngsters are capable of, Mr. Noxious," JR replied. ERIKA THE DRUIDESS vs SKYE DREAME "Let's see how your Pokemon stand against my gem-powered Pokemon!" the raven-haired young girl called out to the Mistress of Grass, grabbing her first Pokeball. "Come on out, Emerald!" Skye Dream extended her hand to summon her first Pokemon into the center of the circle. A winged, bipedal mantis materialized into existence, shrieking confidently as it slashed the air with its bladed arms, its scales gleaming unusually in the light. "Skye's showing some promise tonight, folks," JR noted, as Erika regarded the Scyther facing her. "This veteran trainer has added several new Pokemon to her already impressive collection." "Not to take anything away from Erika the Green," Louden added. "She's had *years* of training to become one of the premier Elemental Masters in her shattered homeworld!" Erika swept her robes to the side to reveal a clip of Pokeballs, and pulled one of them loose with her free hand. She turned it around in her elegant gloved handand pointed it to shimmering Scyther. "This is your moment... come forth, Bellossom!" "PFFL's resident druid has chosen a rather stylish monster to start things off!" Louden approved as the green and yellow flower Pokemon settled onto the ground, a happy smile on her face... before she looked up to face the hovering Mantis Pokemon, meeting it with a cute glower of determination. "But she'll need more than grace to take out the bug from the forests of Kanto. Look out!" "You can take her, Emerald," Skye called. "Use the Fury Cutter to defeat her with one attack!" "SCYTHER!" The insectoid swept a slash of its bladed arms forward, each follow-up slash gaining in speed and power... "Bellosum's immediately on the defensive!" Louden exclaimed, "Already she's backing away from the incoming Mantis Pokemon. But she seems to be emitting some sort of green mist as she evades..." "That would be Stun Spore, Mr. Noxious," JR said. The graceful plant Pokemon spun out of the way of another slash, casting another swirl of green vapor at the advancing Scyther. "A staple of Grass-type Pokemon, used to incapacitate their foes." Skye Dreame fumed as she watched her Scyther become increasingly sluggish with each attempted strike. "Don't fall for that, Emerald! Go airborne and hit her from above!" "And Scyther's taking the high road above the field!" Louden observed, brushing his greasy black locks out of his eyes to look into the air. "He could be ready to get the drop on Bellosum with the Double Slash Strike!" The green-clad druidess braced herself and turned her gaze skyward. "Scyther's left himself open!" Erika called. "Use your Sludge Bomb now, Bellosum!" "Lossum!" the flower Pokemon chirped as she began to twirl about. As she spun around, a pair of gelatinous green orbs materialized at her sides, spinning with her. With a final twist of her arm-stubs, Bellosum commanded the venomous spheres into the air, colliding solidly with the baffled mantis Pokemon. "And she connects for some SERIOUS DAMAGE!" JR cheered as Skye's Scyther collapsed to the ground. "Erika showed some of her ol' Gym Leader trainin' to exploit that bug's weakness." "Ah, yes, the element of Poison," Louden nodded sagely. "The tragic dual nature that Erika shares with many of her Pokemon familiars. Beautiful... yet *deadly*." JR inched his chair away from Louden before continuing. "Skye's switching to her next Pokemon, and folks, this young girl may be in over her head," JR said as Skye summoned her second Pokemon, Flareon, into the ring. "Despite her type disadvantage, Erika's Bellosum isn't breakin' a sweat yet!" "Let's try this again, Ruby," Skye urged, her voice raising in annoyance. "Start with a Quick Attack!" "She's wasting no time taking the fight to Bellosum!" Louden raved as the fiery canine rammed into the flower-pokemon's petaled flank. "Connecting with a blinding-fast tackle right off the bat... and HERE COMES THE FIREWORKS!" Erika frowned in concern as Flareon began to spit forth a salvo of Ember attacks. Her Bellosum companion was barely managing to evade the flaming bursts, until finally one of the small fireballs slammed into her. "Mah stars and garters! She's burnin' up!" JR yelped. Several of the flower petals in Bellosum's 'dress' had caught flame as the pokemon helplessly cried. "Erika better come up with somethin' to save her Pokemon, quick!" The Mistress of Grass called out to her Pokemon familiar, urging her into action. "Hurry, do a Petal Dance!" Erika ordered. "Get rid of those flaming leaves!" "Bell..." The pained Pokemon replied before beginning another spinning routine that sent her spiraling directly toward Flareon. "Heh... sacrificing your Bellosum already?" Skye scoffed. "Some druid! Ruby, finish her off with a Flamethrower!" "What's Erika doing!?" Louden protested. "She's sending Bellosum *straight at* that fiery beast!" The flame canine Pokemon inhaled deeply, smoke filtering out of its snout. "Look again, Louden!" JR called. As the flowery Pokemon advanced her Petal Dance continued, launching the flaming petals away. "She's using her dancin' moves to get rid of her damaged petals!" Flareon growled in annoyance as the flaming leaves flew into him with incongrous force before disintegrating. Just as he was about to bellow out his flaming breath, another hail of flaming foliage hit him in the face. "Good call from Erika the Green!" Louden called in approval. "It even knocked that hellhound's aim off!" Flareon's stream of flame shot just to the side of the twirling Bellosum, causing Skye to stomp her foot in frustration. "Dammit, Ruby, she's closing in!" Skye snarled. "Bite her!" "While it's distracted, Bellosum! Use the Sleep Powder!" Erika countered. Bellosum sailed over the fiery canine Pokemon with an unnaturally agile leap, narrowly avoiding its snapping jaws. A cloud of shimmering yellow mist trailed in Bellossum's wake, settling all around Flareon. Flareon spun wildly and snarled at the spry biped flower... before its growling quieted, and its eyes began to get heavy. It slumped to the ground and then settled onto its side, suddenly asleep. Skye Dreame blinked. "And that's two for two!" Louden enthused. "Erika's cleaning house tonight in this opening match-up!" The Mistress of Grass looked at her flowery Pokemon with pride, while her opponent lowered her gaze to the ground, tightening her small hands into fists. "Miss Dreame's just getting outclassed on every level by Erika," JR added somberly. Skye began trembling with rage. Bits of gravel and dirt rose ominously from the ground and hovered around her. She threw her head back and shrieked in fury, violet flames billowing off her body and shooting upward. The crowd gasped in horrified surprise while Erika and Bellossum recoiled from the sudden surge of power. "Mah stars and garters, I've never seen Skye like this!" JR said. "She's never shown off this kind of psychic power before!" "No kidding, Jimmy! Suddenly she's gone all Chris Claremont on us!" Louden replied from underneath the desk. "You'll pay *dearly* for making a fool out of me, Erika!" Skye screamed, her voice echoing eerily. The enraged young girl yanked her final Pokeball forcefully from her belt and cast it into the ring. "TAKE HER DOWN, KADABRA!" The instant the golden-skinned Pokemon materialized before Bellosum she found herself roughly hoisted into the air by Kadabra's crushing telekinetic grip. Skye cackled with glee as Kadabra hurled Psybeam after Psybeam at the helpless flower Pokemon, each stream of psychic energy exploding in violet burst. Erika began to furrow her brow in concern, noticing her opponent's suddenly violent behavior. "Skye's going on an absolute rampage here," JR said, wincing as another Psybeam collided into the pinned Bellosum. "She's just pouring on the damage." Skye opened and closed her hands, her hair billowing around her head like a black cloud. She grinned wickedly at Erika. "And it looks like Skye's continuing her frenzy-- WAIT A MINUTE!" Louden shouted as a large clod of earth jerked up into the air beside Skye, raising to about head level with the raven-haired girl. "What's she planning on doing with that? This is a *STANDARD LEAGUE RULES MATCH.* She can't attack the Druidess!" Erika stood still, unfazed at the incoming projectile that hurdled toward her head. The Druidess suddenly swept her arm upward, and a soft rumbling rose up from the earth around her... "VINE WHIP!" At Erika's command, a bark-covered tendril erupted from the earth near her feet and shot straight upward to intercept the incoming rock. The sudden strike cleaved the boulder into two pieces, which sailed harmlessly past Erika's head and onto the ground behind her. The Druidess turned her attention back to the Skye Dreame, who suddenly looked a lot less confident despite her glowing psionic aura. "It looks like Erika's had enough of Skye's psychic tantrum, folks!" JR said with enthusiasm. The Druidess' robes fluttered as an emerald glow illuminated her body, an aura shared by her Bellossum companion. Kadabra struggled to keep his telekinetic grip on the flower Pokemon as she began to fight back. "These games have gone far enough!" Erika proclaimed, pointing toward Skye Dreame. Bellossum's aura brightened. "Bellossum! Solar Flare!" "GOOD LORD!" Louden raved as Bellossum's aura turned blinding gold, breaking Kadabra's psionic grip and sending him flailing down to the ground. The dazed Psychic Pokemon struggled awkwardly to regain his feet. "Bellossom's broken free and looks SUPER CHARGED! She looks ready to deliver the finishing attack..." The green and yellow Pokemon settled gently onto the ground, still glowing golden. The glistening energy flowed and intensified in the two red flowers that adorned Bellossum's head. A cutely confident smile shone on her face. "Behold the beauty and power of nature..." Erika chanted. "SOLAR BEAM!" "Bellossum!" Erika's flowery familiar chirped, doing a final spin before bowing her head down and firing two golden streams of light from her head and toward her opponent. The exploding light beams collided with the hapless gold-skinned Pokemon, forcing him sprawling to the ground once more. Kadabra stuggled to rise again, but finally collapsed to the dirt in exhaustion. "A sensational finish from Erika and Bellossum!" JR cheered as Erika's theme played. "The Druidess is going to the quarterfinals, but first she seems to have some unfinished business with Skye Dream!" Erika strode into the ring to join her flower Pokemon, tightening her fists as she glared at Skye Dreame. The dark haired young girl suddenly stood stiffly, her eyes suffused with a strange violet glow. "What the... is Skye in some kind of weird trance?" Louden wondered aloud. Erika jerked another Pokeball from her belt as Bellossom readied herself. "You're an uninvited guest here, oracle!" the Druidess yelled. "Show yourself!" A haughty, ethereal laugh echoed across the arena as the purple glow around Skye's head flared brightly. The aura died just as quickly, and the young girl collapsed to the ground. Erika rushed to Skye's side, and helped her to her feet. "What in the *world* was that?" Louden said. "Erika the Green's just won her first PFFL match, but she's already making enemies." "We'll have to keep an eye on this situation as it develops," JR replied. "In the meantime, Mike Tenay is the back with a man who may be new to the PFFL, but not to the baseball fans at home. Take it, Iron Mike!" The Professor of Pro Wrestling was standing beside a powerfully built man, a confident smile hiding behind his trimmed red beard. He had a wooden bat across his back, held in place by a makeshift leather sling. His red St. Louis Cardinals ball cap and distict white #25 jersey identified him as none other than the homerun record holder, Mark McGwire. "Thanks, Jim!" Mike Tenay replied to the camera. "Now, Mark, why precicely did you decide to get into Pokemon training after retiring from baseball?" "Well, Mike, a few of my young fans told me about the North American Pokemon League and it sounded fun," Mark shrugged. "Toured a few cities, followed a few coaching tips my managers used to tell me, and got quite a rep in the Midwest." Mike Tenay blinked in confusion. "...so training these Pokemon isn't at all unusual to you?" "I own several dogs back home, Tenay," Mark said. "And, like any growing pet, they need exercise, food, and plenty of love." The bearded man smiled as he saw his Raichu approach his side. He bent down to run a massive palm along the rodent's scruffy head. "It's pretty much the same, except these pets can shoot fire and lightning and what-have-you." "Yeah... but what do you plan to do against Geomancer Brock, given your emphasis on Electric-type Pokemon?" "Tenay, I've worked through injuries and hardships to break the Major League Baseball homerun record. In this new sport, I've faced a lot of skilled and aspiring young Pokemon trainers to become a Gym Leader in the NAPL," Mark said. "I'll find a way, and win. You know why?" Tenay shook his head. "Because I'm Mark McGwire!" Mark knelt back down to pat Raichu on his head again. "Ain't that right, Slugger?" "YES, raichu!" the electrical mouse cheered back, his English thickly accented and awkward. 'Slugger' scampered behind his trainer as Mark exited from the backstage area. "Well, good luck, champ!" Tenay said. "Let's send it back to Louden and Good Ol' JR!" John Fogerty's "Center Field" played to introduce Mark McGwire's arrival on the field of Pokebattle. "Mark's definitely retained the pride and determination that earned him the rank of Homerun Hero, I'll give him that," JR said. McGwire strode to down to the battle circle, his Raichu Slugger dashing by his feet. They paused and took a moment to look out at the cheering fans, and the St. Louis native smiled with approval before advancing to his position. "And McGwire's getting quite the ovation from this Saint Canard crowd," JR added. Linkin Park's "Faint" played next, silencing the cheering crowd. "...which is more than I can say for the self-proclaimed Master of Earth," Louden quipped as a massive man stomped through the curtains. His head was hidden within the folds of his dusty, tattered brown cloak. "Brock's coming into the tournament with a chip on his shoulder and a lot of unfocused rage. Which of these powerhouses will advance? LET'S GO TO THE RING!" MARK MCGWIRE vs BROCK THE GEOMANCER "Pathetic American!" Brock spat, folding his powerful arms in front of him. "Surely you don't think you can defeat an elemental Master of Earth, do you?" "WHAT!" Mark's Raichu companion protested, balling up its forepaws into small fists. The veteran ballplayer leaned down and placed a hand on Slugger's head to steady him. "Easy there, fella," Mark said soothingly, prompting the electrical rodent to relax a bit. He stood back up and adjusted the bill of his ballcap as he eyed the massive Geomancer. "Well, we'll just have to find out, won't we?" McGwire snagged his first Pokeball from his belt and gave it a short toss in the air before grabbing it again and pointing it forward. "Let's step to the plate!" "My word, the homerun hero isn't backing down from the Man-Mountain at all," JR gasped as a spherical red and white Pokemon shimmered into view. "McGwire's starting off with the ball Pokemon, the electrifying Electrode!" "Mark McGwire's starting the fight with... a *ball?!*" Louden protested. "That can't be right!" The red and white ball began to rock, its expression changing into a disgruntled scowl. "That would be Electrode, Louden," JR corrected. "He just happens to look like a Pokeball." "PHEW! I was worried there! If people kept that up, next think you know we'd have kids battling with *tops*..." Brock simply smirked at his opponent, as a deep rumbling shook the arena. Cracks began to form in the ground in front of him. Mark and Slugger steadied themselves, as his Electrode spun warily and glanced about. "The Geomancer's bringing in a heavy-hitter already!" JR shouted, gripping his commentator's desk as it shook. "This disturbance can only mean-- GOOD LORD!-- that Brock's enlisted the aid of the Legendary Pokemon of Rock! GOLEMDOR!" A massive, three-fingered fist surfaced from the cracked earth. An instant later, a hulking round mass of rock erupted into the air and landed with an arena-shaking crash. "GOOD LORD, JIMMY! That monster's rocking the entire building! How's Mark gonna fight that thing!?" Louden screeched as the massive Pokemon craned its turtle-like head down at the shaken Electrode. "INSOLENT HUMAN!" Golemdor snarled, jerking his stubby head up to glare at his unfazed opponent. "YOU DARE WASTE MY TIME WITH SUCH PUNY COMPETITION!" "GYAH! Somebody turn down his voice a notch!" Louden winced, grabbing his earphones. "No kiddin', Mr. Noxious. That beast's got a mouth even louder than yours," JR replied. "FAH... WEAK!" The powerful Golem slammed his feet into the ground, creating a shockwave of force and cracking stone that easily lifted Electrode into the air and launched him violently out of the ring. "A CASUAL one-shot!" Louden exclaimed. "And the St. Louis Gym Leader's already down to his second Pokemon... and just think, Jimbo, if McGwire *somehow* makes his way past Golemdor, he's got Brock's *second* Pokemon to deal with..." "That's harsh, man," Mark noted somberly, unsummoning the wounded Electrode back into its Pokeball. "But I haven't struck out yet!" A broad smile returned to his bearded face as we unclipped his second Pokeball. "Go for it, Magneton!" The Geomancer simply shook his head, a deep sigh of disgust escaping his throat as the magnetic Pokemon shimmered into view. Magneton hovered nimbly over the ground, its numerous magnet appendages rotating. The legendary Rock Pokemon merely stood in the center as the ring, eyeing the metallic Pokemon in bored annoyance. "I am unamused by your toy, Mark McGwire," Brock growled as Golemdor lurched forward to drive a brown claw into the ground. "Golemdor! ROCK SLASH!" With a powerful rising sweep, the earth Pokemon launched a hail of stone into the air toward Magneton. "Let's see if you find *this* funny!" Mark smiled as he urged his Steel Pokemon on. "Magneton... SONIC BOOM!" The metallic Pokemon's orbs chimed mechanically as two of its pronged limbs began to vibrate... before unleashing an near-invisible shockwave of force toward the incoming debris. "Excellent countermove from McGwire and his Magneton!" JR said as the boulders exploded into dust in midair. "Preventing those unforgivin' stones from doing any harm!" "Magneton's sonic assault's also allowing it to maneuver in, but what's the homerun hero going to have him do up close?" Louden wondered. "YOU ARE MAKING THIS TOO EASY FOR ME, HUMAN!" Golemdor bellowed, stepping forward to intercept the magnetic Pokemon. The Rock Pokemon was about to clamp his massive claws around Magneton just as its steel prongs began to spark. "Light him up, Magneton!" Mark encouraged, "Sonic Spark!" "And look at 'im shine!" JR exclaimed as the magnetic Pokemon's electrified aura sparked to life, the air around the two dueling Pokemon distorting from Magneton's powerful attack. "Golemdor's being bombarded with a combination attack of lightnin' and sound! McGwire may well stun Brock's rock-solid Pokemon at this rate!" "Hmph... an amusing effort," the Geomancer smirked. "But *puny* against Golemdor's strength. BEHOLD!" Golemdor roared and rushed forward toward Magneton and slammed a massive fist into one of its orbs, cutting off its electrical barrage abruptly. Two more punches sent it spinning and fluttering back, barely able to hold itself aloft as sparks shot from its damaged magnetic prongs. The stone-skinned beast was not done with it yet, as it yanked a huge clod of earth out of the ground and hefted it over his head. "EAT THIS! ROCK THROW!" Golemdor roared confidently as his boulder smashed into the dazed Magneton, sending it crashing to the ground. "And the legendary Pokemon of Earth is just dominating tonight, folks!" Louden gasped. "Already taking out two of McGwire's Pokemon out with ease... I'm afraid the home run hero's just *way* out of his league in this match, JR!" "Rai raichu, MY BROTHER!" Slugger growled, pacing about Mark's feet in frustration. "Easy, fella, he's gonna be alright," Mark assured him, kneeling to pat him on the head again. He unsummoned the injured Magneton back into its Pokeball, then turned with a knowing grin to his Raichu. "Anyway, I think it's time to bring out my power hitter." "RAI!" "That's it, Slugger!" The St. Louis Gym Leader gave his Raichu a pat on the back as it tromped into the ring. "Show those two what you can do!" "The Homerun Hero's sendin' out his last remaining Pokemon of face this *massive* Earth Pokemon," JR called. "Gotta give McGwire credit, though, he's keeping very cool under the pressure here." Golemdor merely stood in the center of the ring and glared at the electric rodent scampering around him. Slugger finally stopped and stood up on his hind paws, tilting his head up to scowl at Golemdor. Golemdor lurched back, bracing itself to launch its first attack. "Golemdor's sizing Raichu up... little guy isn't backing down," Louden began. Golemdor exhaled a deep grunt, and tucked into a roll, withdrawing his head and limbs into his earthen "shell" as he tumbled forward. "GOOD LORD, he's barreling in with a Rollout! Raichu's gonna get steamrolled!--" Just as it looked as if Slugger was about to be crushed by the tumbling Golemdor, he lashed one of his forepaws forward with a sudden strike, drilling it right into Golemdor's stomach. The earth Pokemon's head shot into view in surprise, then the rest of his limbs as the force of the quick jab suddenly send him flailing backwards. His stubby legs made contact with the ground, but continued to skid a few feet before coming to a stop in the middle of the ring. Golemdor patted his stomach with his claw then looked back to Raichu in surprise. Brock finally began to show a hint of concern, unfolding his powerful arms as he shifted tensely in his trainer's box. "... watch your guard, Golemdor." "THIS LITTLE RUNT JUST GOT IN A LUCKY SHOT!" Golemdor scoffed, slamming his left fist into his right claw as he stomped forward. "GOLEMDOR IS UNSTOPPABLE!" "Mah Gawd... Golemdor's getting mad," JR worried. Golemdor swung a massive claw downward towards the defiant Raichu... who once more launched a quick punch into his incoming talons. He swung his other hand, with the same result. "But McGwire's Raichu is standing up to him!" "He's doing more than that, Jimmy!" Louden corrected. "Check it! I think we're seeing why McGwire calls his Raichu 'Slugger'!" With each jab, Raichu's counter-strikes sent chips of stony flesh off Golemdor's hands and claws. Golemdor edged back, clutching his wounded claws. "HOW CAN THIS BE?!" Mark McGwire tipped the bill of his ballcap up, a wide grin still across his face. "So, you boys thought I'd never faced any rock Pokemon in my St. Louis gym?" Slugger smirked confidently up at Golemdor, bringing his balled-up forepaws to his face. The scruffy Raichu began throwing jabs forward, some from his left paw, some from his right, shifting his feet about as continued to box at the air in front of him. "Fighting techniques..." Brock grumbled. Casting his brown cloak off his shoulders, the Geomancer shot a finger toward his opponent, his taunts dripping with condemnation. "You think a few punches will be enough to defeat me, *Mark McGwire*?" "I know I can," Mark retorted, tightening his white-gloved fists. "Let's show them how we do things Stateside, Slugger!" "McGwire's on the offensive!" JR shouted as the brown and yellow rodent rushed forward with an electrical burst. "And his Raichu's arsenal of Fighting moves may be just enough to overcome Golemdor's size and strength!" Goldemdor pulled his claws up above his head and clutched them together, then slammed them down into the ground with a earth-rattling thud. The blow cut a jagged crack through the dirt and sent chunks of earth flying toward the incoming Raichu. "The rock Pokemon's trying to cut Slugger off with a Fissure!" Louden interrupted. Slugger threw a quick punch at each rock as it arced toward him, shattering each one as he surged forward. "And it's not even slowing him down! Slugger's sliding into melee range..." "Way to go, Slugger!" Mark cheered. "Nail him with a Low Kick!" The brown rodent Pokemon snapped one of his hind feet into one of Golemdor's stubby legs, and the stone-skinned Pokemon roared in pain, abruptly dropping to one knee. "Well that's one way to cut that monster of rock down!" JR approved as Golemdor struggled upright and swung his other leg up to boot the rodent Pokemon. Slugger nimbly ducked out of the way and hooked a stiff forepaw into the Golem's wounded knee, forcing him to kneel once more. "This is foolishness..." Brock uttered, shaking his head. "You're a *legendary Pokemon*, Golemdor! You should be mauling these *Americans!*" The Geomancer then twisted to look over his shoulder, glaring in annoyance at the crowd. A "U-S-A!" chant began to increase in volume... "Wait for an opening, Slugger..." Mark coached, waiting for Golemdor to make his next move. The rock Pokemon and lashed a grey claw downward to grab the foe at his feet. "There he goes! Jump on up and boot him!" The gruff Raichu hunched down and hopped upward just as Golemdor's powerful claw slammed into the ground where he had been standing. After nimbly landing on the megaton Pokeon's raised knee, he jumped up once more. Once Slugger was at face level, the fighting rodent twisted in mid-air and smashed a kick into the side of Golemdor's beak, sending him spinning backward. Golemdor staggered reflexively, flailing its arms weakly... "ALRIGHT! A spinning High Kick off of Golemdor's injured leg knocked him for a loop!" Louden called, echoing the crowd's enthusiasm. Golemdor lurched back to his opponent, shaking his head violently. With a roar, the stony beast surged forward to Tackle the spry Raichu. "Golemdor's officially *snapped*, folks!" Golemdor swung his massive claw down towards Slugger with all its monstrous strength, which the surly Raichu just barely managed to grab with its forepaws. A confident sneer spread across the rock Pokemon's face as the electric rodent struggled... until Slugger grinned back up at him, scrambling around to Golemdor's flank, the stripes on his back crackling with electrical power as he sped up his footwork. "That's right, Slugger... time to take him for a spin," Mark nodded in approval. "What matter of technique is this... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Brock protested, squinting grimly from across the field. Slugger continued to dash around Golemdor, jerking him by the arm as he spun around him. "Slugger's continuing to build momentum..." JR called. Golemdor continued to strain against the Raichu's deceptively strong grip. "And MAH GOD he's gotten that monster off his feet!" "Take a swing to the fences, Slugger! SEISMIC TOSS!" Mark pumped his fist and cheered. "Rai... CHU..." Slugger grunted, bracing himself as he spun around, giving the massive rock-skinned Pokemon two final spins before releasing his arm. "GO TO HELL!" "WHAT IS THIS POWER!?! NOOOOooooo..." Golemdor protested as he was sent flying across the ring and over its boundaries, crashing violently onto his back. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Louden raved. "That Raichu just pitched an Earth Pokemon *twice his size* out of the ring like a sack of potatoes! Whew... that's one strong mouse!" "A valiant effort from the Homerun Hero," JR interrupted, "but he still has to contend with Brock's remaining Pokemon." "MCGWIRE!!!" Brock roared, raising his massive hands skyward as his muscular form was consumed by a rust-brown aura. He ripped his remaining Pokeball from his belt. "You will pay *dearly* for your insolence!" "Let's see what you got, Brock!" Mark retorted. "Rai! COME ON COME ON!" Slugger added, motioning with his forepaws as he hopped in place in the center of the ring. "Very well... Onix, I choose you!" The Geomancer growled confidently as he shoved his Pokeball forward, summoning the massive 30-foot long stone serpent into the ring. "GOD DAMN..." Slugger swore, flailing back to gaze up at the Onix looming above him. "One of the most imposing and hard hitting Pokemon in the monster training world," JR said somberly. "The Master of Earth has chosen none other than Onix, the rock-snake Pokemon!" "Size isn't everything, ya know!" Louden countered. Onix immediately rushed forward to ram into its much smaller opponent. "It looks like Brock's not taking any chances, hoping to Slam McGwire's Raichu out of the ring before he can bust out any more Fighting moves." Slugger's stocky body was rocked as Onix slammed its horned forehead into its front, and was sent further skidding to the edge of the ring as the rock serpent continued to push him violently across the ground. "Come on, Slugger!" Mark called. "Dig in deep! The game ain't over yet!" "Onix has nearly shoved Slugger right on out of the arena..." JR said as the two Pokemon approached the edge. Just then, the brawny Raichu managed to get a grip on Onix's snout and stop its charge. "But it looks like Raichu's fighting back! WHAT POWER! But what will he do from there?" "Give it up, American!" Brock grunted confidently, "Surely you don't think your Raichu can match Onix's strength?" "He doesn't have to," Mark smirked back. "He can outmaneuver it! Slugger, step in with a Jab!" "RAI!" The Raichu slipped to the side of Onix's maw and drilled a forepaw square into the eye of the rock-skinned snake. Onix roared and craned its head upward in pain, allowing the electrical rodent to scramble back into the middle of the ring. "Ow! He can't take it there!" Louden remarked. "A well-placed punch is all McGwire needed to get his Raichu out of trouble. And now he looks to be a mouse on fire!" Slugger readied himself as Onix lurched back to face him. "Jab and move, Slugger, Jab and move!" Mark cried. Slugger zipped in and lashed out at Onix's segmented midsection, and lept out of the way as it swept its tail across the ring to try and strike it. "Slugger's keeping on his toes, sticking with a series of quick lefts and rights!" JR approved. "BODY BLOW! BODY BLOW!" Louden cheered, getting into the Raichu's assault. "And McGwire looks ready to finish him off!" "We got him reeling, Slugger, PUT HIM AWAY!" Mark affirmed as Onix lurched down slightly, groaning deeply in pain. Slugger bent down into a low stance and balled up his paws, sparks of electrical might swirling about his form... before exploding into a golden burst, sending the Raichu straight into the air towards Onix's jaw. Slugger's powerful forepaw swung in a upward arc... that just narrowly missed. Onix rocked backward, away from the airborne Raichu. With a sudden twist, the stone-skinned serpent snapped its tail into the air and caught the startled Raichu in its coils. "Heh... dodge this," the Geomancer snarled, snapping his massive fist skyward. "ANCIENT POWER!" Onix tightened his grip on the struggling Raichu, and was suddenly consumed in a violet aura. His hide became more jagged and darkened from its usual grey to pitch-black obsidian. Slugger roared as the Onix crushed him with its newfound, unholy strength, overwhelmed by pain. "OH MY GOD..." Slugger groaned before passing out. Onix bitterly dropped the fallen Raichu on the ground, its stone skin returning to its usual color. Louden Noxious, for once, was speechless. "But McGwire was... and Slugger was going to... NOOooooo!" "A damn shame, folks," JR exhaled. "One of the most tragic lessons in the Pokemon Fight: sometimes a single shot can turn a match around--" "DAMMIT!" Jim Ross frowned as Louden continued to rave. "Oh for... and Brock's coming in to *gloat* as McGwire checks up on Slugger..." Linkin Park's screeching industrial rock stopped abruptly as Brock approached Mark in the ring. "HA! You see, Mark McGwire!" the Geomancer bellowed. "You were no match for the power of Earth!" "Brock, I hope you take a lesson with you to the quarterfinals," Mark said, helping Slugger up. "It's not the size of the Pokemon, it's the size of the fight that he brings." Brock simply glared down at the intense ballplayer. "You... are pretty eager to coach, for someone who just lost." "I just don't want you to be surprised when you lose, kid." "BAH! I will *not* be talked down to by some weak AMERICAN *HAS-BEEN.*" Mark halted abruptly, his stern but kind demeanor quickly waning. "...heh. You did not just say that." "And if I did?" Brock squinted, grinning. "I'd have to rush the proverbial pitcher's mound," "Are you ISSUING ME A CHALLENGE!?!" Brock shouted with rage, the rough flesh on his fists hardening and turning to grey stone. "Yeah, boy. Yeah I am." "Is McGwire insane!?" JR protested. "The Man-Mountain Brock can crush bones with his bare hands!" Brock flexed his powerful arms as the rest of his body turned grey and hard, then broke into a hard run toward McGwire. Mark stood defiantly, studying the incoming Geomancer and, with a single motion, drew his hardwood bat from behind his shoulder. He then yanked a steel baseball-sized sphere from his belt, giving it a slight toss in front of him. The rampaging Brock didn't hear the sharp crack of wood meeting metal, but he definitely felt the impact as a small grey blur slammed square into his chest, launching him off his feet. The Geomancer landed painfully on his rear, rocking back up in pain and clutching at the indention now etched into his stone chest. The sphere rolled back along the ground, and Mark stepped up to pick it up, regarding his right bicep in mock strain. "Yeah... I think I got a few good swings left." The southern-rock sounds of John Fogerty returned to the PA system as Mark and Slugger made their way back up the rampway. "... I think Mark McGwire more than fits in here at Pokemon Fight," Louden grinned. Then he noticed JR had withdrawn his cel phone and was dialing on it. "Hey, Jimmy, what are ya doing?" "Calling Vince McMahon. Gonna find out when *I* get superpowers." Louden Noxious blinked, then smiled back to the hovering camera. "We'll be right back, folks." Timpani and horns play upon a black featureless field. As the music builds the scene brightens into a red plateau, then gold, as six figures appear. As they advance towards the camera, their features become more clear; their capes, hoods... as well as the unmistakable ears and tails of funny-animals. The light brightens to blinding levels, and the figures dissolve, only to be replaced by stylized metallic letters... ZOO CREW The scene suddenly cuts to a surreal microscopic landscape, atomic masses flaring to life... as the red and white clad molecular mouse Little Cheese hovers into view... Bullets ricochet of a purple metallic mass... which suddenly raises its powerful frame and turns to reveal the wide grin of the steel hog, Pig Iron... A fairly mundane black furred catgirl in a sweater pulls something from offscreen: an ordinary stage magician's wand. Its tip and the cat's eyes flare with mystical light... and when it dies down, the scarlet robed Alley-Kat-Abra appears, the wand now an ornate scepter... The orchestra builds to a head as the view cuts to a brick wall... and a red gloved fist slams through and demolishes it, revealing the trademark orange and red uniform and rabbit ears of Captain Carrot, before he sets sail through the hole, cape billowing... In front of a green tinted field, a pair of stretchy green arms stretch diagonally across, before their owner raises up from below... the lanky and elastic Rubberduck relaxes his arms and folds them over his chest, giving the camera a smirk as it zooms into the background behind him... Cut to a highway street, a blue blur zweeing back and forth before swerving into the foreground, showing the distinctive blue uniform of the speedster turtle Fastback... Finally, across the New York skyline, a shapely spandex clad canine-morph flies majestically. Yankee Poodle's star-spangled aura emits shimmering colors as she sails past with her 'Liberty Torch'-shaped hammer in her hand... We return to all seven anthropomorphic heroes (with Little Cheese perched on Captain Carrot's shoulder) looking to the camera on a cliffside. Their epic theme closes as the ad ends, and Pokemon Fight's live feed returns.. "Welcome back to the second half of tonight's Pokemon Fight!" JR greeted the camera. "We've already seen some great action tonight. Now we're going to see who else will be going to next week's quarterfinals." Louden paused as the sound of electric guitars began to build through the arena. "... but first, it sounds like we've got a special guest!" Creed's "My Sacrifice" played as the spotlights focused on the VIP box, where a familiar duo now stood from their seats... "Why yes, it's CEO of Pokemon Fight herself, Malahelicon, and the current PFFL Champion, Satoshi!" JR observed. The massive Mallytron screen above the entrance way provided a close-up for the couple. Mally had returned to her usual gaudy spandex and leather attire, and had a pair of distinctive Mickey Mouse ears on top of her messy curls as she waved gleefully to the fans. Satoshi was, naturally, much more reserved in his red jacket, nodding and grinning to the camera. His faithful companion Tenchu scampered onto his shoulder, peering intently at the strange anthropomorphic fans around him before cocking his head back to his partner. "Hey, we've seen stranger things on our trips, Tenchu," Satoshi shrugged. "Tenten..." the electrical rodent blinked looking back at the surrounding furries. "It's nice seeing the champ keep his cool with all this heated competition," Louden nodded. "Yeah... but I think he's gonna have some issues with our next contenders..." JR said. Saliva's "Always" cued, and Satoshi notably tensed as a man in a familiar uniform stepped onto the rampway. The man was none other than James Hallendale, a cape slung dramatically across his shoulders. The Rocket United agent merely stood there, rolling his eyes as 'his' theme droned loudly, until finally he fluttered his hand up to cut off the music, his other hand pulling a microphone from the folds of his cape. "...great, he's got a mic," Louden groaned, leaning back in his chair. "He's got a lot of heat with pretty much all of the PFFL roster after his antics last tournament," JR reminded his new co-announcer. "And *especially* with his nemesis and current champ." "Just... just *cut* this ridiculous tripe!" James scoffed, looking out at the jeering crowd in annoyance as Saliva's lyrics stopped abruptly. "I did not come to the the PFFL to be ridiculed by a bunch of creatures better suited for the zoo." James flipped the blue locks away from eyes, pacing down the rampway as the boos increased. "I, James Hallendale, have crashed this little foray to bring some dignity, some seriousness, to this league. I mean... were any of you *listening* to yourselves during this program? Look at all of you: grown men and women, cheering on baseball players, teenie-boppers and freaking *wizards!*" The Rocket agent made his way to the arena floor, shaking his head in disgust as the crowd's vocal rage washed over him. "I can only hope that I can bring some pride to this league when I win *your* championship title, Satoshi!" James shot a glover hand and pointed bitterly to the VIP booths. Tenchu arched his tense back up, the stripes on his back crackling angerly as he snarled down at the jeering Rocket. "Whole lotta hate between those two..." JR uttered. "James is talking pretty big despite not having fought a single PFFL match." "He's a sharp dresser, at least," Louden shrugged. Iron Maiden's "Blood Brothers" cued, prompting James to turn his attentions back to the rampway. He glared as the lighting died down and the spotlights turned to greet the next trainer. A confused silence spread across the arena as a young brown-haired man with dark glasses stepped onto the rampway. He was clad all in silver and white; his long collared trenchcoat clung to him stiffly, an almost priestly style. A small white cross hung around his neck. "... Is that Ryan Edgerton?" JR breathed in confusion. The Team Revelations leader strode with precision to the arena floor, his hands held behind his back. "His jacket looks pretty badass," Louden added. The WWE announcer arched a brow at his younger cohort. "Just *saying* is all," Louden hastily added. Ryan took his place silently across from the Rocket United agent, who snorted with indignation as he reached for his first Pokeball... RYAN EDGERTON vs JAMES HALLENDALE "Let's see what you can do, Altar Boy!" James smirked as he launched his first Pokeball into the ring. "Go get him, Victreebel!" An oblong yellow and green Pokemon materialized before the Rocket United agent. Its side leaves flailed about, and it scowled bitterly as the leaf atop its head opened and closed, exposing its fanged maw. "Primeape? I choose you..." Ryan proclaimed evenly as he withdrew his first Pokeball, summoning the simian Fighter into existence. "Ryan and James are just testing one another right now," JR theorized as the their respective Pokemon approached the center of the ring. Victreebel lifted itself up and lashed its bark-coated "tail" towards Primeape. "Hallendale's attempting to wrap him up quickly though, not waiting for any surprises..." "Nice Vine Whip, Victreebel," James approved with a grin, watching as the brown monkey struggled to free its gloved fist. "Put that mongrel down with some Sleep Powder." Primeape managed to bring his free hand to his small snout, coughing as the green fumes billowed from Victreebel's mouth and over him. "Stay focused, Primeape," Ryan urged. "His poison can not harm you!" "That little monkey's getting pumped!" Louden proclaimed as Primeape grunted and reached up to grab Victreebel's vine. The bulbous flytrap widened its eyes as it was yanked violently and swung into the air. "Primeape chucked him across the ring! A great escape from the brown ape!" "He's closing in on Victreebel fast!" JR added. Primeape easily ducked as a leafy arm sailed over his head, then lunged in to slug Victreebel with an oversized fist. "And a hard right Jab from Primeape!" "That's the spirit, Primeape!" Ryan approved. The fighting monkey continued to box at the pained flytrap Pokemon, backing it closer to the edge of the ring. "Finish him off with a Cross Chop!" "PRIME!" Primeape grunted with approval and spun to deliver a solid backhand that sent the dazed Victreebel spirialing back and past the ring's perimeter "...and with a spinning back fist, Primeape earns a ring-out!" Louden cheered. "An excellent start from the boxing Pig-Monkey tonight!" "Don't get too excited yet, Louden," JR warned, nodding with grave concern. "James has yet to show off his *full* repertoire. Sadly, I can imagine Ryan's seen much of Team Rocket's... handiwork..." James Hallendale pulled some of his powder-blue bangs from his eyes, emitting an indignant laugh as he gazed across at the robed Pokemon Trainer. He unlatched the remaining Pokeball from his side and thrust it towards Primeape. A second later, all eyes were on the monstrosity the Rocket United agent had just summoned. A brown gelatinous blob sat before the baffled monkey, its mass rising and lowering rhythmically. Primeape instictively pulled its gloves in front of its face, uncertain of what he now faced. "Pound," The Rocket United agent spat. A slimy tendril shot forth from the bubbling ooze and solidified. Primeape craned his head about as the appendage snaked rapidly in the air, twisting about until it suddenly and violently swept in and crashed into the monkey's side! The tentacle, along with the force of the blow, carried Primeape's stunned form painfully through the air and across the ring's edge. The Christian trainer rushed to the battered monkey, furrowing his brow in concern... then shifted his gaze back to the brown mass as it began to move once more. "You weren't kidding, Jimmy... that thing's a poisonous... freak!" Louden wrinkled his nose. The brown gelatinous blob shifted around on the ground, its acidic trail eating the grass away. It slowly pulled itself upward into a roughly spherical mass and, to the horror of the audience, a large eye became visible, then another... until several had popped up along its globular flesh. The eyes turned their attention down to Ryan Edgerton, who remained motionless, though a shiver of disgust shook within him. He sighed as he unsummoned Primeape. "Let's see what your precious *faith* can do against the power of scientific genius, Mr. Edgerton!" James taunted with a grin. "Hakking? Introduce yourself to our little priest here." A portion of the brown mass of sludge parted, and a gargled roar emitted from the "mouth". "'In God is my salvation and my glory,'" Ryan quoted, unclipping his second Pokeball from his belt. "'The rock of my strength...' Go forward, Geodude." With an even motion, the Team Revelations leader summoned the small but muscular Rock Pokemon, which scowled cutely as it flexed its oversized arms. "Geodude! Rock Blast!" Ryan commanded, growing increasingly enraged. The small boulder Pokemon pulled its oversized hands together and hammered them into the ground, sending a small series of cracks tearing through the ground until, once beneath Hakking, a jagged slab of stone erupted and thrust into the brown blob's underbelly... to no effect. Hakking's multiple eyes rolled down to where the Rock Blast had entered it, then hefted its bulk up... revealing the acid-eaten remains of the earth-blade. James simply rolled his eyes and gave a dismissive wave to the stunned Geodude. "Sludge Bomb that simpleton, Hakking." A bubble began to inflate along Hakking's liquid flesh and exploded into a viscous blob that launched into Geodude. After skidding to a stop, Geodude flailed in pain, splashing violently in the thick brown gel. "Good Lord! That poisonous slime..." Louden cried. "It's eating him *alive*!" "The veteran Team Revelations leader's thankfully pullin' his poisoned Pokemon out of combat," JR added as Ryan quickly unsummoned the pained Geodude back to its Pokeball. "Poor guy wouldn't have lasted much longer...." "But what's he gonna *do* against that thing!?!" "That *thing*, Mr. Hallendale, is an abomination to all things good and holy in this world," Ryan stated. "Isn't it *grand*, Mr. Edgerton?" James shot back, bringing a gloved hand to his chin. "So... I believe it's your move again?" Ryan brushed a hand over his front of his silver jacket before reaching for his third and final Pokeball. Once more he glowered up to the mutated poison Pokemon, who stared back with its multiple eyes. " 'The light of the wicked shall be put out! And the spark of his fire shall not shine!' " Ryan jerked his Pokeball free and thrust it forward. "I choose you, Charmeleon!" The small bipedal red dragon materialized into view, its head lowered. Charmeleon exhaled puffs of smoke from its snout and craned his head up to glare at its oppenent with defiance. "Ryan's not backing down in the least," JR observed. "And his Charmeleon has it's game face on tonight!" "And he's gonna need all the firepower he can muster against the sludge-spewing Hakking!" Louden added. "Hmph. I suggest you start praying, Mr. Edgerton," James scoffed, motioning Hakking into action. "Pound away, Hakking." A dripping tendril of slime snaked out from Hakking's circular mass once more, then shot forward towards the fiery Pokemon. "Duck and roll, Charmeleon! Counter with an Ember!" Ryan commanded as the tendril lashed forward. Charmeleon tumbled and dove off to the side, twisting to sidearm a small fireball at Hakking's extended limb. The brown blob recoiled in pain, leaving a brown-black smoldering mass on the ground... "That got a reaction from the venomous Hakking! Fire could just be the thing Ryan needs to take down that floating oil slick!" Louden cried. "Ryan's plenty familiar with fire and brimstone, that's for sure, Noxious," JR replied. "He's lettin' him have it with another volley of fireballs!" With each small flaming burst, more gobs of Hakking's poisonous mass dropped to the ground. "But good Gawd, is that ooze stinkin' up the arena..." James Hallendale, however, was showing little concern. Another brown tendril shot into the ground, and Charmeleon easily jumped over it... only to be blindsided as another tentacle slammed into his side. He crashed violently onto his flank... and right in the path of Hakking's "face"... "Right on target," James mused with a wily grin. "Hakking? Plague Breath!" "And once more James is giving Charmeleon a helping of minty fresh death!" Louden called as the Hakking bellowed a steady cloud of grey smoke onto the stunned Charmeleon. "The Rocket United agent's well-versed in the use of Grass and Poison Pokemon," JR stated grimly. "Knowledge that he's put to deadly use in his life of crime." Charmeleon clutched at his snout and struggled as the thick gas washed over him... "Wait..." Ryan consoled his weakened companion. " 'Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart!' " Charmeleon steadied himself and pulled his claws away from his snout. The flame-red lizard shot a glare up at Hakking with a disgruntled growl. "That's right! Counter once more with Flamethrower!" "Another dose of fiery retribution from Charmeleon, as he fires off a breath weapon of his own!" JR exalted as Charmeleon shot forth a steady line of flame into Hakking's underbelly. The brown mutant Pokemon hovered back once more, as more burning black sludge dropped down in its wake as it retreated. The small dragon's assault was cut off abruptly as it lurched back down to one knee, coughing violently as it clutched a three clawed hand to its chest. "And now both Pokemon are trying to recover from that exchange. "But Hakking's Plague Breath did its damage to the little Charmeleon," Louden gasped. "Those toxic effects are just going to weaken him the further this match goes along..." James paced within his trainer's box, waiting for his poisonous companion to recover from his burns. He stopped abruptly and spun back to face the Christian trainer, casting his cape over his shoulders. The Rocket United agent plucked the rose from he breast pocket and sneered across the ring. "It's time to end this, Mr. Edgerton," James said. "Hakking... Toxic Waste." Charmeleon was the first to take notice, then Ryan, until all in attendance were in confusion... as the various black globs that had dripped onto the ground began to bubble and hover into the air. "My word, *every one* of those blobs Charmeleon blasted off that gelatinous monster has come to life-- and one of them just smacked right into him!" JR stammered as one of the smaller blobs flung itself into the red lizard. "That's not the only one, Jimmy..." Louden warned as more of the small brown masses slammed into the struggling Charmeleon, further engulfing it. Frightened gasps echoed throughout the arena as Charmeleon flailed violently within the toxic sludge, lifting into the air besides the awaiting Hakking... Ryan could only gaze up and stare, aghast as Charmeleon lurched closer to the venomous beast. "You..." James spat at him. "You and your precious *faith*, powerless against the power of Rocket United's technology!" James cackled triumphantly. "Hakking! FINISH HIM OFF!" "He isn't going to..." Louden breathed, then cried out with the audience as the smaller mass containing Charmeleon merged once more with Hakking. "GOOD LORD! HAKKING JUST SWALLOWED HIM WHOLE! James isn't just out to *win* this match..." "There's no way Charmeleon's getting out of that, if he survives at all..." JR shuddered. "*Well*, Mr. Edgerton?" James jeered. "Are you going to surrender now or after Hakking's done digesting your Charmeleon?" The Christian trainer swallowed hard, finally taking his eyes of the monstrous Hakking, and launching a defiant glare to the Rocket Agent. "Mr. Hallendale? I have to wonder... does Hakking's acidic armor protect it from *within* as well as from external attacks?" A hint of confusion spread over James' once-confident sneer, and he looked back up at his venomous cohort. The wide grin on Hakking's maw became concerned, then pained, as it began to twitch and jerk in midair. It began to cough up smoke, and bubbles began to expand and burst along its midsection... "That's impossible..." James protested, "What the hell is he doing in there?!" " 'And there appeared another wonder in heaven...'" Ryan chanted, tightening a fist as he ripped off his shades, gesturing angerly within them towards the Rocket agent. " 'Behold! The great red dragon!' Charmeleon! DRAGON RAGE!" James was at a rare loss for words at Ryan's bravado. "... this is going to hurt." "Charmeleon's still fighting back in there!" JR proclaimed as a blue-white stream of flame burst out from Hakking's underbelly. More streams of fire erupted from Hakking's toxic brown flesh as it sputtered to the ground until, with a violent blue explosion, Charmeleon launched himself from Hakking's midsection, landing with effort on his feet. Wisps of white flame flowed off of the Charmeleon's sludge-covered form. "And the little guy just blasted his way out! What resilience!" "And Hakking's in a whole world of hurt..." Louden added while the viscous blob landed with a splat onto the ground. Hakking growled in pain as it struggled to pull its mass back in. "I think it's going to take all its remaining strength to pull itself together." Hakking exhaled a deep sigh as it pulled its remaining bulk together, and collapsed in exhaustion. "Oh yeah, that's it." "Once again, Ryan pulls out a miracle and advances past the diabolical James to enter the quarterfinals!" JR called. Ryan rushed out to the center of the ring to tend to his poisoned Charmeleon. James Hallendale also advanced toward them, pausing to look down at his defeated Hakking, then back at the Team Revelations leader, snarling down at him as Ryan administered a Full Heal shot to the small dragon's upper arm. "James is heading out to give the Alter Boy an earful," Louden observed. The silver- robed young man got to his feet and regarded James with a somber smile... as he extended an open hand to him. His Charmeleon managed back to his feet, and offered a similar gesture. The indignant Rocket agent scowled at them as Hakking hovered to his side. Now semi-solid, Hakking snaked a few of his eyes onto brown appendages and glanced back and forth between the two humans with curiosity. "Huh, and it looks they're offering up a post-fight handshake to them." "After the fight those two put on, they should both be proud," JR nodded. Ryan took an offside glance about the arena, gesturing to his opponent with approval, while Charmeleon grinned and nodded up to the confused Hakking. James blinked at them and carefully extended a gloved hand. Hakking approved, his liquidy mouth curling into a wide smile as he lowered a brown limb to meet Charmeleon's claw... before his master contemptuously pulled his own hand away, stepping back from the offended young Christian. "You were lucky, Edgerton," James scoffed before turning away from him. "YOU WERE *SO* LUCKY! Hakking! Let's take our leave." The poisonous looked confused at the Rocket Agent, then back down to his fiery opponent, before grudgingly hovering to his side. "That... that *ass!*" Louden griped. "James Hallendale fancied himself too good to shake Ryan's hand!" "Sore loser or not, though, Ryan Edgerton beat him fair in our most heated battle thus far," JR replied. "But up next, tonight's main event: Crystal Dagger against Bloody Mary!" "Oh yeah, betcha these chicks will really dish it out..." "You better take those two seriously, Louden. Between Crystal's agility and Mary's brute strength, they're two of Team Rocket's top female assassins!" "I'm saying we're in for an all-out Girl Fight tonight," Louden corrected. The KBB announcer settled into his seat with a grin as hard electric guitars filled the arena. Nightwish's "She Is My Sin" cued up to introduce the next new competitor. "We're starting things off with the firebrand from Team Rocket's elite Shadow Six division!" JR announced. A tall and powerfully built redhead stomped through the archway, her strong arms tensing beneath her red and black banded armor. She wore thigh high dark boots and had her fiery hair bound back tight. "Bloody Mary looks strong enough to punk out most of the *men* in this league, Jimmy," Louden pondered while Mary stormed down the ramp, jerking her two-handed maul free from its holster. "She's out to teach Crystal Dagger a lesson in hard knocks tonight." "That li'l spitfire's gonna have her hands full against PFFL's resident Femme Fatale, though..." JR reminded as the house lighting abruptly cut off. Evanescense's "Going Under" cued up in the darkness, announcing the arrival of Crystal Dagger in the darkness. "Oh, she controls the house lights," Louden whined. "That's impressive--GAHH!" Indigo spotlights snapped onto the commentator's desk, and the surprised New Yorker found a female form kneeling low before him, clad in shiny dark armor. Her face was cloaked by her mane of jet black hair, which floated back behind her as she rose to her feet. Crystal Dagger gave a non-chalant hop off of the announcing desk, and paced methodically to the ring. "She... On the desk... HOW'D SHE DO THAT!?" "Ninja secret." JR nodded to the young announcer. "...huh." "In any event, TONIGHT! These two vixens will answer a question that's been gnawing at them both," JR continued. "WHO is the premiere Team Rocket assassin? WHAT is stronger: Crystal Dagger's grace or Bloody Mary's power?" "And WHERE do they get that figure-hugging armor?" "... shut up, Louden." CRYSTAL DAGGER vs BLOODY MARY Crystal Dagger gave Bloody Mary an icy glare as she stepped with precision into the ring's boundaries. She took her mark in the center of the ring, twisting slightly at the waist to grip the short sword that hung across her lower back. "Crystal's got a lot of pride running on this match here," Louden informed as the larger armored female snarled. Mary rolled her head, pitching her red locks down her shoulder, and hefted her maul up into both of her hands, pointing its dull grey head towards the Rocket Assassin. "Her and Bloody Mary have had a volatile rivalry in the criminal scene." "And they're set to settle things once and for all at tonight's Pokemon Fight!" JR proclaimed as the siren signifying the start of the match sounded across the arena's PA system. Crystal was the first on the move, breaking into a quick dash towards the Shadow Six agent. Mary snorted with contempt and swung her warhammer to the side in a powerful arc, to which Crystal merely tucked down into a roll as Mary's swing swept over. The raven-haired Assassin stopped in mid-tumble at Bloody Mary's feet and surged upward, yanking her short sword free for a quick rising slash. The redhead took a hand away from the wooden handle of her maul, and let the momentum of her swing pull her out from the path of Crystal Dagger's blade. Bloody Mary gripped the shaft once more and lunged in to ram the pommel into Crystal's shoulder. Crystal gritted her teeth as the hard wood impacted against her shoulderplate, but remained focused as she reached to draw her longsword. Mary grunted and pressed into her attack, changing her grip to level a quick swing towards her nemesis' head. Crystal proved ready for the strike and crossed her twin blades up to intercept the hammer, then lashed out with a pair of rapid shin kicks to Mary's side. Bloody Mary winced and wrenched her maul free from Crystal's blades and quickly backed away as a third kick, a roundhouse targeting her head, sailed in front of her. Mary regained her footing and hoisted her warhammer over her head with a yell. Crystal, meanwhile turned back around after missing her spinning kick and settled silently into a low, bent-knee stance, holding her longsword outward as she twirled her short sword in her offhand... "The two femme fatales open things up with quite the weapons exhibition," JR observed, a loud and mixed reaction echoing through the crowd as Crystal Dagger and Bloody Mary circled each other. "Just a pair of warning blows to start, but these ladies are showing why they're the best Team Rocket has to offer!" "Crystal's back on the offensive, going in for another swipe," Louden was cut off as the redhead once more blocked the incoming longsword, then twirled the wooden handle to slap into Crystal's forehead. "And she just can't beat Mary's reach-- And she's following through with a *vicious* swing of that hammer!" The dark-haired Assassin grunted as she managed to get her blades in front of Mary's blow, and was launched flat on her back. "Just imagine if she coulda gotten her full strength into that blow..." "I think you're about to get your wish, Louden! Mary's stepping in to drop the boom on her!" JR cried. Mary shrieked as she spun her hammer around her head and stomped forward to drill it into the prone Crystal. The maul dropped in a powerful arc, but the armored Assassin managed to roll back as it impacted the ground and tumbled back into a tight crouch, and launched herself towards Bloody Mary before she could pull her weapon up. "But Dagger escapes! And she *goes airborne!* Mary's left herself open to a *devastating* heel kick right to chest!" "The big woman's still on her feet, only staggered." Louden observed. "Crystal's gotten Mary's massive bludgeon away from her, though, leaving Bloody Mary at the mercy of her twin blades!" Mary swayed and shifted out of the path of Crystal's taunting swipes, before sidestepping a stab from her longsword, blocking with her forearm guard as she stepped in to ram it into the dark-haired Assassin's head. "Still trying to mount an offensive though, rushing in to attempt a lariat! Dagger ducks under, spins around and--" JR stopped and inhaled sharply as the armored woman twirled and lunged toward Bloody Mary, lashing her swords horizontally across her abdomen as she rushed past. Horrified gasps filtered through the St Canard Auditorium, as the wounded redhead staggered and clutched her stomach. A confident smirk curled across Crystal's lip... until she blinked and took notice of her blades, both of which were soaked in a thick black substance. JR's voice was hushed when he spoke again. "Blood isn't supposed to look like that..." Back on the arena floor, a wicked grin spread across Bloody Mary as she began to laugh deeply: a laugh that began to echo with numerous, unearthly voices. She pulled her hands away from her wounds, and her hands and lower arms were now coated with the viscous substance. She snapped her eyes open; eyes that shared the same dark color. The cackling redhead spun and stomped over to Crystal Dagger, who turned in time to see darkened claws grow from Bloody Mary's fingertips, a flash of horror washing over her face an instant before the demonic redhead lashed them across her face! "GAH! This can only mean one thing!" Louden shouted as Dagger twisted wildly, clutching her bleeding forehead. "Bloody Mary's tapping into that *unholy strength!*" Mary emitted a feral growl as she raked her other blackened claw across Crystal's back, easily ripping through her blue platemail. "The very powers she *sold her soul for* in an attempt to become the top Team Rocket agent!" "That she-demon's strength has increased ten-fold..." JR worried as Mary approached the wounded Crystal from behind, wrapping her powerful arms around her. "She's got PFFL's resident femme fatale in a waistlock," With a roar, the redhead arched back and dropped Crystal violently onto her shoulders. "MAH GAWD! A hellacious German Suplex right on the ground!" "Don't think she's done yet, Jim..." Louden groaned as Bloody Mary yanked Crystal limply to her feet. Mary dropped an arm down under one of Crystal's knees, and jerked her into the air before shifting her grip and dropping with a sudden short jump, slamming the confused and bloodied Crystal face-first onto the earth. "She follows up by just *flinging* Crystal down like a ragdoll!" Bloody Mary prowled away from the motionless Assassin to retrieve her warhammer. Crystal could barely manage to get to her hands and knees, drops of red trickling down her pitch black hair and face... "And Bloody Mary's just absolutely brutalized Crystal tonight," JR groaned. Crystal panned her hazy vision across the raving crowds, and began to take notice that several were cheering... for her. Her vision snapped to focus back to the entrance way, where she noted a familiar silver-robed figure behind the halfway parted curtains, and the concerned face of Team Revelations leader Ryan Edgerton. The armored Femme Fatale clenched one of her gloved fists in the dirt and snarled, just as a large shadow hovered over her... "Mary's all set to drop that God-forsaken sledgehammer right on the fallen Crystal!" JR protested. With blinding speed, Crystal suddenly spun upward and tucked into a ball. She braced her hands beneath her head and, just before Mary could begin her swing, lashed her feet upwards, wrapping her legs around her neck. "No! Crystal's got some spirit left! She catches her and brings her down with a head scissor takedown!" The crimson-masked Assassin continued her roll, pinning Mary by sitting out on her chest, and grinned angerly as she wound her curled hand back... "And giving her some palm strikes to grow on!" Louden added enthusiastically as Crystal rammed several open-handed strikes into the snarling redhead's face. "She's getting back up and it looks like she's got her longsword in her sights!" Crystal scrambled to her feet and made her way to her blade, clutching her side, while Bloody Mary lurched upright and began to charge toward her. "The She-Beast doesn't want none of that! Mary's rushing in to intercept her!" JR warned. Crystal suddenly spun and knelt down to the ground near her weapon, drawing a trio of shiny objects from her gauntlet and lashed out to throw them. "And Crystal stops her cold!" Mary shrieked in pain and clutched at her shoulder, dropping to one knee to stop and pull the throwing dagger free from her collar. "CRYSTAL'S GOT HER SWORD!" Louden enthused as the dark-haired assassin pulled herself up, clutching at the armored plating on her flank. "And she's... wait, is she taking off her armor?!" "Well, after the beating Mary just gave her, that battered metal's just excess weight." JR informed as Crystal yanked the clasps loose and flung her breast and back plate to the side, leaving her clad from the waist up in a dark long-sleeved mesh shirt. "Plus, she makes up for it with extra agility." "Girl goes through more perfectly good platemail that way, though," Louden shrugged. Mary bolted back to her feet, readying her grey maul in her ebony hands. Crystal silently pulled her blade to her side, shifting her feet as she met Mary's black gaze. "They're sizing each other up-- and Mary's the first one on the move! This could be it!" JR raved as the redhead stomped forward, hammer raised. "Crystal's going into motion as well, making a beeline towards the She-Beast!" Louden added. Both female fighters sped toward the center of the battlefield, and when they met, Crystal was the first to lash forward with her longsword... and the tip of her blade sailed harmlessly past Bloody Mary's breastplate. A fanged grin spread across the redhead's face as she brought her hammer down, so intent on crushing Crystal's skull that she didn't notice as the raven-haired Assassin yanked the longsword's scabbard free from her belt... With a sickening crack, Crystal spun her full body weight into slapping Mary's elbow with the hard leather sheath. Bloody Mary roared in pain and collapsed face first, clutching her wounded arm. "Great Scott! An absolutely *vicious* countermove!" JR winced. "Practically *shattered* that firebrand's elbow. She-demon or not, that *has* to hurt!" Crystal carefully got back up, turning around to see the wild redhead on her knees. Bloody Mary panted wildly, trembling as a grimy black aura hummed to life around her. Her right arm had been twisted violently, and blood trickled freely from where her elbow had been pulverized from Crystal's strike. "No kidding, Jimmy! It's gonna take all the unholy strength Mary can muster to keep that arm healthy..." Louden added as Mary's black-violet glow flared, and her wound began to knit, and her elbow and powerful arm reset to their proper positions. The demonic aura cut off abruptly, and the redhead flailed to her hands and knees, panting. Mary breathed heavily, blinking her green eyes and cradling her newly healed elbow... then stiffened as she heard Crystal's throaty laughter and footsteps behind her... "Crystal's locked onto the She-Beast and is on her like a vice!" JR cheered as Crystal Dagger pounced onto the fallen Mary. She wrapped her right arm in front of Mary's face and yanked her head painfully backward. Crystal grinned maniacally as she further locked in her hold, binding up her left arm as she sat out on Mary's back. "No matter how big and strong Bloody Mary is, she's a lot shorter laying down!" "She's choking the Devil right on out of her with that Dragon Clutch, too!" Louden proclaimed. Mary flailed her free arm wildly, her muffled cries being drowned out by the cheering fans. "Mary's managed to get a hold of Crystal's hair, trying to break the hold, but she's clamped on tight..." The redhead continued to jerk about to find some means of escape... but finally had to pound on the dirt wildly in defeat. "And SHE'S TAPPING OUT! Crystal Dagger is going on after *literally* going through hell to take down Bloody Mary!" The victory siren resounded across the arena, and the female vocals of Evanescense returned, along with a chorus of cheers. Crystal threw the battered redhead back down and staggered back, collapsing to her knees in exhaustion. Her shoulders rose and sank as she panted, her hands resting limply on the dirt. Crystal's sweat and blood drenched hair draped down her face... but a faint and satisfied smile was present on her lips. Something white blurred from the side in Crystal's vision and she reflexively lashed out to grab it. She noticed that it was a soft towel, and began to instinctively wipe her face with it... and then noticed Ryan Edgerton standing at ringside, arms pulled back, same contemplative expression as before. The icy woman cleared the blood from her face and pulled her hair back, shooting a wry smirk to the young Christian, shaking her head. "Ryan's lending a helping hand to *Crystal Dagger?*" JR blinked. "She's one of his heated rivals..." "He's just gung-ho on playing guardian angel tonight or something," Louden shrugged. "Perhaps a sign of things to come in the next round! This year's starting off intense for both Pocket Monsters and trainers alike!" "And we have the quarterfinal match-ups coming up! Until next time, folks, this is Good Ol Jim Ross!" "I'm Louden Noxious! Remember folks: Monsters are real, wrestling is fake--" "HEY!" "And Danger Can Happen! So on behalf of all at Pokemon Fight..." Louden's fervor abruptly subsided as he settled into his chair and regarded the camera with a dignified smile. "Good night." The two PFFL announcers started into a heated conversation with their mics turned off. The hovering camera's attentions returned to the arena floor, as Crystal Dagger watched the silver-robed Edgerton walk back up the rampway. _________________________________________________________________ NEXT TIME on the Pokemon Fan Fic League: PFFL NEW CENTURY QUARTERFINALS: Ashura vs Sailor Pikagirl Mistaria vs Messilla Crystal Dagger vs. Brock Ryan Edgerton vs. Erika Voting Ballot coming soon to a website near you! _________________________________________________________________ Author's Notes: Tim: Bleh! Took me long enough, huh? :P Suffice to say, I had lost my proverbial smile for writing and wrestling in general. But, thanks to the joys of DVDs and Kaiju Big Battel, I've gotten my mojo back... here's hoping the next part doesn't take *another* year to get out. Ciao! Alicia: It was a long time in the making, but I think this is some of Tim's best work. Read, enjoy, vote! _________________________________________________________________ All characters appearing within this story are *not* the property of PTB Productions. PTB Productions lays no claim to any licenses or trademarks in the making of this fic, and means no offense to anyone. This story is written in the spirit of good-natured comedy, and it is our sincere hope that you will read the original works these characters came from. You might just be surprised! The PFFL itself, however, is the creation of PTB Productions, all rights reserved. _________________________________________________________________