Questions and Answers

A AAA Interlude

By Alex Fauth

An Alternate Earth - Empire City - 21 June, 2135. About 9 pm.

     Earth. Take a look at it. There's many different versions of
it. The one this story concerns is a particularly ugly one. This
particular Earth has shed a lot of it's green in favour of vast
tracts of the browns and yellows scorched wastelands, or the greys
of ruined cities and the burgeoning remaining ones. One of these
cities is Empire City (formerly known as New York), the capital of
the New Earth Government, or Earthov for short.
      Rick R. Mortis's black Countach sped through the dark streets
of Empire City. All around him loomed the massive,
gargoyle-festooned skyscrapers that seemed to be the in thing in
this city (and would have been perfect for caped crimefighters to
lurk on, if there were any in Empire city). The dull black of his
car seemed to fit perfectly with the dull greys and browns of the
city, and the dark mood he was in.
     Two days ago at Monday Night Biffo, a mysterious female avatar
wearing Southern Cross battle armour had challenged Michael Austin
to a fight. There was something familiar about the voice that he
hadn't been able to put his finger on. So Rick had tried to find
out what he could about her. And turned up blanks. So he had come
to this universe to look up a friend of his. One who he knew could
help him.
     "Are we there yet?"  Karen moaned from the passenger seat. "My
legs are getting cramped. I'm hungry. And why couldn't you buy a
sensible American made sports car?" She added.
     Rick rolled his eyes. Karen hadn't been his first choice of
companion for this trip, but he needed one. Rebecca was busy,
Tsuneo wouldn't have liked it and would have complained about the
amount of brown (his least favourite colour) and he didn't want to
introduce Dan to his contact, as he would never hear the end of it.
Natasha had volunteered to come along, but had phoned up at the
last minute to say that she had a headache and that the universe
hated her. Again.
     He also wished that she didn't insist on wearing her police
uniform everywhere she went.
     "We're here" he said as the car pulled up under an overhead
rail line. The two of them got out.
     "This dump?" Karen said, indicating to a sign pointing to a
downstairs bar.
     "Yup"
     "Great". The two of proceeded down the stairs. Rick and Karen
both passed their guns to the huge, scary looking bouncer with the
shotgun near the door and paid the deposit. Rick entrered the bar
and immediately spotted his contact. She did stand out a lot. It
might have been her attractive Asian features and long black hair.
It might have been the firm muscles on her arms. Or it could have
just been her ludicrously big breasts that she did nothing to hide.
     He sat down. "Good to see you, Louisa," he began.
     "Yeah right." She replied. "You only ever call me when you
need something." she paused. "And who's the midget?"
     "Karen McMillain, Chicago SVD" Karen began chirpily, and
extended her hand. Louisa didn't take it.
     "I'm sorry for snapping, Rick" she apologised. "I'm about to
be transferred back out to the wastelands and I'm not looking
forwards to it."
     "Wow. That sucks."
     "So what did you call me for?"
     "I need your help," he began. "I know that the Colonial
Intelligence Division keeps a database of Avatars."
     "True" she replied. "Ever since all those guys called David
showed up on Atlantica."
     "I need you to do a search for a particular avatar and tell me
what you find."
     "Is that all?" she said, stifling a laugh. "It's hardly worth
my time."
     "Please?" Rick began. "It is important that I know who this
person is."
     "Allright then. And tell you what. Seeing as this is such a
basic job, I'll waive my usual up-front fee and just ask for
payment on what I find," she said, casually. "So, tell me what you
got on this Avatar."
     "Not much. I know that she's a female Avatar. And that she
wears Southern Cross Recon Patrol armour"
     "Is that as in Robotech Masters or Super Dimensional Cavalry
Southern Cross?" Louisa asked.
     "No sure, but almost certainly the former."
     "Anything else?" She asked.
     "I'd say she's of about 180 odd cm tall and an average build."
He paused. "Slight American accent but the voice could have been
electronically altered by the suit." He then thought for a second.
"Left handed."
     "That all?" Lousia replied
     "Not enough for you?" Rick replied to her, grinning. "Do you
want measurements to boot?"
     "I was only joking," she replied. "There are so few Southern
Cross fans out there that it should be a snap. I'll give you a call
when I get the results."
     "Thanks." They shook hands, and were interrupted by a sob from
the seat next to Rick. He turned to see Karen face down on the
table. "What's up, Karen?"
     "Why can't I look like that?" she said between sobs.
"There there," Rick comforted her. "I'm sure that puberty will kick
in soon"

*****

     Louisa sat down in front of her computer, waiting for it to
boot up. "This is too easy" she thought to herself. "It's almost
like I'm stealing Rick's money." Some other people may have had
problems with that, but Louisa wasn't one of them. She had gotten
this far by always looking out for Number One.
     A few seconds later he computer bleeped to confirm that she
was logged into the Colonial Intelligence Divisions Avatar
Database. (Or CIDADB for an ugly acronym). A dialogue box popped up
to note that three new Sailor Moon avatars had been added in the
last 24 hours and that Pat Lee's record had finally been placed in
the "Dead" bin.
     "Okay, now to buisness" she said as she entred the search
mode."Let's start with the basics..." for Series, she selected
"Robotech" for a start. The list slimmed down. She added "Female"
for Gender, and then after another huge reduction added "Southern
Cross" in the miscellaneous section.
     No results.
     Odd. She backed up to the main database, and selected series
as "Super Dimensional Cavalry Southern Cross". There were no
matches.
     "Very very odd" she thought. "Well, there's only one thing to
do..." She Picked up her phone.

*****

     In the universe just next door. 15th February, 2099

     Matt Brady sat on his couch in the rec room in his team's
base. He was watching the football. Nothing, not even the
forthcoming war (that his unit had already signed up for and had
received a substantial amount up front on) could dissuade him from
this. So when the phone rang, he was ready to let it ring until
someone else got it or until whoever was calling gave up.
     "I'll get it!" Cindy, his third in command and live-in bimbo
called as she ran past. A few second later, she screeched out
"Matt! It's for you!"
     "Damn," he said as he got up and went over to the phone. Cindy
shot an evil, accusing glare at him.
     "It's some girl" she said and walked off, leaving the receiver
dangling.
     Matt picked it up. "Hello?" he said in his most suave voice.
     "Hi Matt" came the voice on the other end. "It's Louisa"
     "Well hey there babe," Matt replied before she could say
anything else. "So what can I do for you? Don't tell me that you've
finally realized how much of a gift to womanhood I am and want to
come round to my universe and-"
     "In your dreams" Louisa cut him off, "I just need some info"
     "From where?' Matt said, much quieter than he had been before.
     "Well." she began. "I know that you have connections who can
get me info from the Das Nn avatar database-"
     "Not a dogs chance in hell" Matt cut her off. Das Nn was the
secret police force of the United Earth Govornment. Though they 
ad supposedly dissolved along with the UEG over twenty years ago,
they had been working on a world domination agenda all this time. 
     "And why not?" She asked. "I can pay a lot"
     "No way," Matt replied, looking at Jonny Winters, one of his
men who was in turn glaring at him. "I'm not gonna risk doing
something that stupid for any amount of cash."
     "I see." She paused. "No way I could make you change your
mind?"
     Matt paused. "You could have sex with me. It wouldn't make me
change my mind though."
     Louisa thought some dirty thoughts for a second regarding Matt
and a cactus, but stopped. "I understand. Some risks are too great
to take." She hung up.

*****

     "Damn it" she said to her self. This was turning out to be a
lot harder than she thought. "Still, I do know some other people
who may help."

*****

     Several universes down the road. 3rd Mech, 2033

     Nicosia Winters walked into her apartment and followed her
usual routine of shutting the door, removing her hair clip, booting
up her computer and checking her answering machine. Anyone else
would have been in a worse mood. In the last two hours, she had
silenced one of the biggest threats to her cover, been in a vicious
firefight with several combat boomers both with and without the
protection of her hardsuit, nearly had her cover blown and she had
faced being thrown out of the group she had so carefully
infiltrated.
     She took a look at the Neo-Angelies skyline, taking note for
the upty-dozenth time of the amusing red texta marks the last
occupant of the flat had left on the window. When closed, it formed
a target sight over the Neo-Angeles Genom Tower.
     The Answering Machine bleeped and squaked out a "sound only"
message. "This is Louisa. I need your help on a little project."
     Nicosia sat down at her desk , picked up the phone and called
Louisa. "Louisa Chang speaking. How can I help you?" came the
cheery response on the other end.
     "This is Nicosia" she replied flatly. "You called."
     Louisa paused for a second. Nicosia's flat delivery allways
surprised her. "I need your help" she replied. "I need some info
from your organisation's Avatar Database."
     "Who about?" Nicosia replied.
     "Female Southern Cross avatar. 180 cm tall. Medium build. Left
handed." Louisa replied. "That's all I know at this point"
     "Fine" Nicosia replied. "This will cost you"
     "How much?"
     "The usual finders fee, donated straight into the retirement
fund." She paused. "With a 10 percent up front."
     Louisa swore silently. "Fine then. I'll transfer the money
immediately."
     "Thank you," Nicosia said, and hung up. She immediately tuned
to her computer, and accesed the Avatar database. A few minutes
later, she took a look at the results with a moderate degree of
surprise.
     "This is interesting" she said as she reached for the
telephone. Unfortunately, at that point the paticualr campaign
world got ret-conned. The last week of Nicosia's life vanished and
re-wrote itself, thus leaving her in Ualn Bataar with no forwarding
number. Louisa never got a reply to her message, and no info was
forwarded to her.
     Nicosia later died of an amusing accident involving a yak, but
that's irrelevant.

*****

     Louisa was feeling more and more frustrated. Nicosia had
vanished, Matt was being uncooperative and the CISADB was still
turning up nothing. This called for desperate measures.

*****

     In a universe in the next suburb. 25th May, 1998.

     The Khaki and purple Willys Jeep drove slowly through the
warehouses on the LA waterfronts, it's driver trying not to attract
any undue attention (Well, any more than a khaki and purple WWII
jeep would normally attract.) Eventually, he came to a warehouse.
After looking around to see that there was no-one watching, he
pulled out a remote control and pressed the button to open the
warehouse door. The jeep drove in, then the door shut behind it.
     The interior of the warehouse looked more or less as one would
have expected it to, save for one thing. One wall was dominated by
a large computer or communications device (possibly both) that had
clearly been designed for someone three or more times the size of
a normal human. The driver of the jeep got out, and stood back. The
jeep began to shift its shape, re-forming into a giant khaki and
purple robot.
     "You be needing me any more this morning?" the man asked.
     "Nah..." The Robot ,whose name was Swindle replied. "Take the
rest of the day off." He pulled out of seemingly nowhere several
large bills. "But keep your mobile on. I may need you."
     "Thanks" the man said, and left through a side door.
     Swindle walked over to his computer. While this one was a
pretty standard Decepticon computer and communications system, he
had modified it to suit his own needs. He had partitioned its main
system and created a secondary storage area that ran under a
(hopelessly inefficient) human-made operating system. This enabled
him to access the human's Internet, which was a great way to meet
new potential clients.
     Swindle was an arms dealer. He liked his job.
     He booted up his computer in its Internet-Compatible mode, and
logged on to his E-mail system. He found one new e-mail.

     "Hi  there. It's Louisa. Can we talk? I'll be on our usual
channel."

     Swindle grinned. Louisa had been a source for some high-tech
toys that had made some of his best clients very happy indeed. She
was probably after some more info. Hew had no problems with that,
as there seemed to be no Transformers where she lived. He quickly
logged on to the chatroom under his usual handle ("YlwGP") only to
find Louisa lurking there as her normal self ("WonedrGrl")
     
     YlwGP: So, wadda ya want?
     WonderGrl: Some info from ypu.
     YlwGP: Do tell.
     WonderGrl: OK. I need some data from the Decepticon avatar
archive.
     YlwGP: And what do I get in return?
     WonderGrl: Name your price.
     YlwGP: One dozen beam rifles. And I mean the mech-mounted
variety, not pissy little hand guns. I kno some starving central
acrifan nations who would love them
     WonderGrl: !!!!!
     YlwGP: Oh... my connection seems to be going.
     Wondergirl: Allright... Leach.
     YlwGP: So, do tell wehat ya want.
     WonderGrl: OK. Whaet we're after here is some info on a
Southern Cross avattar. We kno that sdhe's female, aboot 180 cm
tall, average build, left handed and waers TC-ReP armour.
     YlwGP: Seems resonable. When do I get my rifle.s
     Louisa: Half up front and half on delivery.
     YlwGP: Fairy niff.

     He logged off, and immediately rebooted the computer into its
CyberOS mode. A few seconds was all that it took to access the
Decepticon Avatar Archive on earth. While not a reliable as the one
on Cybertron, it was much more accessible. He immediately set to
work, entering the parameters and waiting for the results...

*****

     Louisa let out a stream of unpleasant words as she re-read
Swindle's E-Mail.

     "Sorry, couldn't find a thing. Where are my other 6 guns? :)
Swindle."

     The smiley face was an obvious indicator to the level and
development of his sense of humour.
     This left Louisa with only one choice. It was difficult, and
there were lots of risks involved. And she would have to go in
person. But for what she was gonna screw Rick over for on this
data, it was going to be worth it.

*****

     In a universe on the other side of town. Don't know the date.
Don't care either.

     Louisa trudged through the rain. Rain seemed to feature
prominently in her life. It seemingly always rained in Empire and
now it was doing it here in Hong Kong. She stared for the umpteenth
time at the soaked wet directions, and confidently turned towards
a brightly lit alley. She trudged into it, noting the green neon
dragon sign accompanied by a bunch of  Chinese characters that
didn't mean a thing to her. She signed, and walked up a set of
covered stars near the mouth of the alley, and stared intently at
the simple wooden door that marked the entrance.
     She really, really didn't want to do this. But she'd wasted so
much money already on Nicosia and Swindle that she had to. She
sighed for the millionth time tonight, and entered.
     If Louisa had noticed the opulance of the tea shop, she didn't
care. She barged her way past the birdcages, past the fish tanks,
past the trolleys, Past the customers and past the short, fat,
dreadlocked synthetic fish reapirman who was arguing in a thick
Liverpudlian accent with the manager over the price of some
repairs. She made her way over to one of the private booths, and
sat down, bushing the feathers off her shoulders.
     "You're late," the woman opposite her snapped. Louisa looked
at her. She shared Louisa's asian fatures, as well as her long,
thick black hair and ludicrously sized breasts. Louisa, however was
taller, wasn't wearing glasses and clearly more heavily muscled.
Nor did she have the other woman's pointed ears. Louisa quickly
scanned the area, and groaned at the sight of the other woman
present - a dark-haired westerner in tight black clothes, who was
clearly grinning at her. And possibly drooling.
     "I'm sorry," she apologised. "But my taxi blew up," Louisa
said in her private code that any of her contacts would
immendiately know meant that her Taxi blew up.
     "Never mind," the woman replied. "Let's get down to business,
shall we?" She said as she exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke at
Louisa. She replied with some frenzied coughing, and a mental
reminder to log some hours in the Regenerator Tank to get that gunk
out of her lungs.
     Thank god tobacco plants never made it to New Earth, she
thought to herself. "I'm after some information," she said, flatly,
all the time trying to ignore the way the other woman was staring
at her cleavage.
     "What sort of information"
     "Information about an Author Avatar." She began. "I know that
you have had dealings with several of them in your time, and that
your... 'Magic Voice' has some connection to AAA's Powers That Be"
     "I see." She replied. "And do you know anything about this
particular avatar?"
     "Only a little bi,t" Louisa replied. "Female is all I know for
a fact. She wore Southern Cross Tactical Corps Recon Division
armour,  which narrows down the origin of this avatar to only two
shows." She paused before continuing. "She is about 180 centimetres
tall, of an average build, is left-handed and speaks with a slight
American accent." She paused for a second and added, "Her voice
could have been electronically altered by the suit."
     "Fascinating" her contact replied. "And what do you know about
her background?"
     "Nothing. Except that she seems to have a bone to pic with
Michael Austin. This does seem to suggest Robotech Masters as an
origin rather than SDC: Southern Cross. She has only appeared once
though, at the Monday Night Biffo fight scene."
     "And I take it your client is eager to have this information
before Elmer Fight Scene Four: Insert Title Here, right?"
     "Right"
     "Well then..." she began. "I'm sure that it is doable, but it
will cost you an awful lot."
     "I thought as much," she said as she pulled out a black
cylindrical object. She then noticed the looks she was getting from
the two women, blushed, put it back and pulled out a different
black cylindrical object. "I'm sure this will cover it."
     Her contacts reaction was cut off by the shadow that fell over
the booth. Louisa turned to the source, to see three of the
biggest, ugliest and most ludicrously overarmed thugs that she had
ever met in her life. The size and shape of one of them immediately
put her in mind of the pictures she had seen of Mout Fuji. But
without the snow on top. And in a cheap suit.
     "Friends of yours?" her contact asked.
     "I have no idea."
     "Like that, eh?" she said as she reached for her gun. The
other woman pulled out a pair of SMGs from seemingly nowhere and
extended Cyber-Razors from her hands. Louisa pulled out her own CID
Needler pistol. 
     Her life was approaching perfect right now.

*****

     Louisa collapsed into her apartment, tired, angry, pissed-off
at the universe, bruised, battered, huge chunks of her clothes
missing (Couldn't that girl be a little more careful with those
cyber-razors she thought for the millionth time) and with a couple
of lungfulls of tar to get rid of.
     All in all she was not having a good time of it.
     She switched on her computer. It beeped to tell her that she
had a message. She immediately bought it up, and smiled. It was the
info she had been after. All the work had finally payed off. She
quickly downloaded it and read through it thoroughly.
     No way. This can't be right. She thought. She re-read it. No
way. Rick would never believe this result. Her contact had to be
giving her the shaft.
     But her contact had a reputation to maintain.
     She couldn't have.
     Could she?
     Naah.
     Louisa decided on a course of action. She would just have to
give Rick the info.

*****

     Rick and Karen entered the bar again. Rick immediately noticed
Louisa. This time it wasn't the amount of exposed cheat that caught
his attention, but the dark look on her face. He and karen sat down
at her table.
     "Hi there" he began nervously. "How's things going?"
     "I have spent the last three days having rings run around me
following up your stupid little errand." She began, angrily. "I
have been shot at, leered at, had my clothes shredded, drenched in
a torrential downpour, thrown across rooms, dumped in a fishtank,
subjected to second-hand smoke, faced off with Akira the supergoon
from hell, and humiliated myself with the wrong black cylindrical
object all in the course of half an hour. And to top it all off, I
find that CID has transferred me back into the North American
outback, which as you very well know is a terrible place where
every loony and his dog has a mech, they mark their territory
with dead animal heads on sticks, shoot things for fun and there is
a lack of decent hair salons. SO all in all I am not having a good
time of it!" She shouted. She then stopped as she noticed that the
entire bar was staring at her.
     "Sorry" Rick replied meekly. "So, did you get the info I was
after?" he asked cautiously, half expecting Louisa to explode.
     "No I didn't" she replied. "Not a trace of your mystery
avatar. Nothing. Nyet. Squat Diddly. Sweet Fanny Adams. Not a
sausage. End of story."
     "Sorry" Rick replied meekly again. "So how much do I owe you?"
     Louisa bashed her head against the table. "Don't worry about
it, Rick. Just never ask me to do another favour again, allright?'
     "Okay" Rick replied meekly. "Let's go, Karen."
     As she got up, Karen looked at Louisa. "There there" she
replied. "I'm sure that it's not that bad."

Endnotes.

     Louisa is from a Mekton or possibly Silouette campaign I am
working on. Details can be made available if you ask. Louisa's
measurements are a Colonial Intelligence Division secret. (Sorry!)
     Matt Brady is from a Mekton campaign that I am currently
running. He's one of the major villains (He appeared in the MSTing
of "The Eternal Struggle: A Final Fantasy 7 Valentine Special". The
Campaign world Louisa is from is an "Alternate Universe" of Matt's.
     Nicosia Winters Is (or was) my PC from my brother's Bubblegum
Crisis RPG campaign set in Neo-Angeles. As of current writing, it
looks like she is going to be retconned out of the story.
     Swindle was one of the Combaticons.
     Thanks to Mike Surbrook for lending me Marta Nys and Ling Ling
Li.
     Empire city was based on the Empire City track from "Need For
Speed III."