Akuma Arena Tokyo, Japan The crowd erupted in cheers as pyrotechnics started to erupt, signaling the start of the show. Signs like "Wolf 3:16" and "Foxfire 4 Life" swamped the crowd. After the obligatory crowd-sweep, the camera panned down to the announcers; good ol' JR and the professor Mike Tenay. "Welcome, everyone, to the premiere edition of Wednesday Night Anarchy!" JR exulted, clad in his usual black cowboy hat. "The 'Nature Boy' Ric Flair was unfortunately unable to join us this week due to contractual problems with WCW, but rumor has it that the Powers That Be have secured us a special guest commentator for this historic..." Mike Tenay trailed off in confusion as "Sexy Boy" began to pound on the Arena's loudspeakers. The crowd erupted as a very familiar figure walked out into the spotlights... "MAH GOD! That's the WWF's own incomparable Shawn Michaels!" JR yelled. "It certainly seems like we weren't disappointed," Tenay followed happily. At least it wasn't that Scott Hall fellow again. The superstar strutted down the aisle, stopping to slap hands and even give a kiss to one of his fans ringside. As he hopped into the ring to take his props, his trademark fireworks began to go off. Grinning widely, he slipped back between the ropes and danced over to the announcement table, taking a seat. "Hey there Ross, Mikey-boy," Shawn said, putting on the third headset. "Hello there, Shawn," JR said, still a little surprised at the Powers That Be's choice. "I'm surprised you could join us tonight, considering how tight Vince holds his contracts." Shawn flashed a grin as he answered, "Well, ya know JR, ordinarily I'd be busy with my buds backstage in the WWF, but hey, RAW's taped this week, I didn't have anything scheduled, so I thought I'd come on down and see what this AAA thing's all about. Besides, I hear that Hogan guy's lookin' for me, so I thought it'd be a good idea to keep on the move." "Any idea what Terry... I mean, Hollywood would be tracking you for?" Tenay asked. "No idea, Mikey-boy, but if half the things I heard about him and Uncle Eric down in Atlanta are true, I'll wanna be stayin' far away from Mr. Air Guitar." Shawn was interrupted in midsentence when the lights suddenly went out. The heavy drum beats of "The Beautiful People" to play, as purple light flooded the arena. "This ain't good," Shawn commented dryly. An explosion of black flame erupted at the entrance to the Arena, making nearby fans cringe as a fairly nondescript teenager walked out. He wore ripped jeans and a T-shirt that had "Oni 6:66" stamped on the chest. As he walked casually down to the ring, the back of the shirt, "I Just Stole Your Soul", could be seen by the hovering cameras. A huge wave of boos surrounded him, but he seemed only to revel in the hatred of the crowd. "Through hellfire and..." Catching the glares of his associates, JR stammered, "Uhhh, never mind." "Odd, I don't see Dark Sonic or the rest of his associates coming out with him," Tenay noted. "And considering how many people want a piece of this guy, that's awfully brave," Shawn added. "Maybe he figures that if anyone tries to interfere, he can handle them. Remember, just last week, it took no less than 5 people to stop him." JR said, as footage of Oni's battle with Soulstone, Wolf, Shion, Sonya Sho Robotnik, and Samantha Jones played. "Until Soulstone and her Stasis Blade intervened, it looked like he would single-handedly take Sonya, Wolf, and Samantha apart!" Tenay said, as the footage cut to Oni preparing to take flight, only to be frozen in place by the Stasis Blade. "And from what I heard, Oni is looking to settle a score with each and every one of those ladies... and Wolf, too." Shawn added. While the announcers held their conversation, Oni had made his way into the ring and sat on one of the turnbuckles, patiently awaiting his next competitor. The psychedelic insanity of White Zombie's "More Human than Human" began to blare over the loudspeakers as the lights went out once again. This time a dazzling lightshow appeared in the center of the ring, as Captain Universe teleported into the center of the ring to a massive cheer. "These fans are REALLY getting behind this Captain Universe!" Tenay said, catching a little of the fans' enthusiasm. "I think they'd cheer for ANYBODY against Oni, after what he pulled last week, double-crossing Lynxara like that." JR replied. "Yeah, but I've taken on plenty of big guys before, and the one thing I've learned is, you need a helluva lot more than crowd support. In this guy's case, he might need an atomic bomb," Shawn said. Oni continued to sit on the turnbuckle as Captain Universe played to the crowd. He was completely impassive regarding the crowd favorite, and in fact, looked rather bored. ONI vs CAPTAIN UNIVERSE As soon as the bell ring, the two met in the center of the ring and began trading blows. Though Captain Universe charged his fists with cosmic energy, Oni took everything he could dish out and gave it right back. "Folks, don't let this Oni's appearance fool ya," JR commented as the two brawled. "He may look like a teenager, but this guy's a first-class demon from Hell!" Tenay, meanwhile, was announcing the match. "Oni grabbing the fist of Captain Universe, and HURLING him into the turnbuckle! The Captain staggering out... Oni with a hurricanrana!" "I knew this guy could fight, but I didn't know he could do THAT!" Shawn said, surprised at Oni's agility. "Now Oni with a dropkick... and setting Captain Universe up for the ride. Clothesline attempt... no! Captain Universe ducks and gives Oni a vicious blow to the breadbasket! And a DDT!" JR announced. Not wasting any time, the superhero climbed up to the top rope and delivered a leg drop right onto the demon's chest. He covered him, but got no further than a one-count before Oni threw him halfway across the ring. "Uh-oh... Oni's transforming!" JR shouted, as the teenager's clothes began to shred. Two massive, batlike wings ripped out of the back of his shirt, as enormous purple muscles covered his entire body. Oni let out a deafening roar as he stood, eyes burning with power. "He pissed the demon off!" Shawn cried, glad it wasn't him in that ring. "Captain Universe hasn't been idle either..." Tenay said, as the superhero continued to charge up his energy. "UNIVERSE COSMOS BLAST!!!" "MAH GOD! Oni's still standing! He took a Universe Cosmos Blast right in the chest, and he just looks madder'n hell!" With another terrifying roar, Oni unleashed a huge blast of energy from his eyes. It slammed into the shocked Captain Universe, stunning him. "Oni not going for a cover... he's picking him up... NOW what's he doing?" JR cried. The demon lifted the semi-conscious superhero over his shoulder, and took flight. About 10 feet in the air, Oni flipped him over, the Captain's head pointing at the ground. "No... oh my God, no... not a piledriver! Not from THAT height! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!" JR screamed, as Oni suddenly stopped hovering and dropped like a stone, smashing his opponent's head onto the ring. "The Diablo Driver," Tenay whispered, as Oni pinned his opponent in a cruciform position for the 3-count. Oni stood, looked at the Captain, and spat on him. "What...?" JR asked, as the super hero started to scream, his costume smoking where Oni's spit had landed. Oni simply looked at him and laughed, a sound that chilled the bone. Spreading his wings, he flew gracefully out of the arena, leaving the burned superhero to limp back to the locker room, aided by AAA officials. WINNER: Oni "That Oni is *not* a very nice guy," Shawn commented. "But ya know, ya can't disagree with his results." "I understand, we have to cut to a commercial, but don't worry, we'll be back with more Wednesday Night Anarchy!" Tenay announced as the screen faded to black. **** [Numerous ads for Mentos, Pez, and assorted AAA shirts] **** JR shook his head as he said, "Well, folks, as you know, the AAA has attracted a lot of attention in its month or so of existance. In fact, I understand we've got quite a few celebrities in the crowd as we speak." On cue, the camera panned to the VIP section. Several famous Anime figures were there. Urusei Yatsura's Lum, clad in her usual tiger-striped bikini, waved enthusiastically at the camera. Ataru, on the other hand, seemed to be pointedly staring at the Puma Twins, who were also in attendance. With a small sigh, Lum reached over and gave Ataru a quick shock. He jumped, and then slouched down in his seat, grumbling. Other figures that were easily recognized were A-ko and B-ko, as well as the dhampir vampire hunter D. A little more surprising, however, were the Authors present. In addition to the usual MiSTiers such as Megane 6.7, CrowBar and even the shadowy Cedric Henry, the creators of several Avatars were also in attendance. Stephen Ratliff was having a lively and halfway decipherable conversation with Marissa Picard, while David Gonterman was busy doing sketches for his latest comic. Before the camera panned away, a familiar-looking teenager in glasses and a t- shirt with a massive red Anarchy symbol on it stood and gave a double-Austin salute to the camera, grinning madly. Another teenager reached up and pulled him back down. His escort, a girl with purple skin and a green evening gown, sighed in embarrassment. JR shook his head. "Wasn't that Oni's creator we just saw?" "I believe he calls himself the Anarkist, JR. And I believe the couple sitting next to him was none other than Kenny Blackwell and his semi-creation, Blink." As "My Heart Will Go On" began to play on the loudspeakers, the announcers remembered they had a job to do. Ankoku, helm in hand, strode down the ring, smiling as the ladies swooned over him. Sailor Molly followed, waving to the fans. "This Ankoku fellow bears some resemblance to you, Shawn," JR commented as Ankoku came in to a very loud cheer, mostly feminine in nature. "Y'know, JR, there are many pretenders, but there's only one Heartbreak Kid, and that's me," Shawn replied, unperturbed by Ankoku's "Sexy Boy" angle. Then the mysterious theme of GolDust began to play, as Oscar came out to a chorus of boos. "Well, this is certainly unusual," JR said, as a lovely young woman with silver hair came out beside him. "This is the first time we've seen Oscar bring Artemis to ringside. The question is, why now?" "I can only assume that the... lovely... Artemis is here as insurance against Sailor Molly. She surely has interfered in matches before," Tenay responded thoughtfully. "For someone with a hermaphrodite boyfriend, she looks pretty happy," Shawn commented. Indeed, contrary to popular belief, Artemis was all smiles. "It would appear that all the reports we've heard about the rocks in their relationship are false, guys. She *seems* to be completely behind her... uh... man. Then again, the usual Author Avatar reality-warping powers could be the cause of that," Tenay observed. "I *still* wanna know how in the hell she turned from a male cat into a busty young girl..." JR muttered as Oscar stepped into the ring, seemingly oblivious to the "Oscar Sucks" chants. OSCAR (w/ Artemis) vs ANKOKU (w/ Sailor Molly) "There's the bell... and Oscar and Ankoku grappling in the middle of the ring. Oscar with a side headlock... but Ankoku throws him into the ropes and gives him a *big* boot to the face!" Tenay began. "Reminds me of my ol' buddy Kev they got locked up in Atlanta," Shawn said wistfully, as Oscar countered with several martial arts strikes. Though Ankoku was fully armored, the hermaphrodite managed to strike all his enemy's weak spots. "And now Oscar with an attempted clothesline... but Ankoku ducks and drills him with a clothesline of his own!" JR exclaimed. "Now Ankoku setting him up... Oscar ducks under a second clothesline. He stops short, spins around, and... *devastating* ki-powered punch to the kidneys!" "And Oscar's on the offensive now... Irish whip followed up by a dropkick!" Tenay said, very much into the match. Not letting up a bit, Oscar climbed up on the turnbuckle with his opponent, and ripped Ankoku's helmet off! Flinging it into the crowd, Oscar then began to rain blows down upon his enemy's exposed face. "And now Oscar wailing around on Oscar... but no, Ankoku lifts him up... and an inverted atomic drop!" JR exulted. "Right in the dual genitalia!" Shawn said, causing the other two to shudder at the image. Meanwhile, Ankoku had climbed up to the top rope and delivered a devastating armored elbow drop. "And that could be all... 1... 2... and he *got*... no." JR said, obviously disappointed. "Biased much, JR?" Shawn teased, grinning. "Anyway..." Mike Tenay said quickly, "Ankoku dragging Oscar to his feet... attempting a neckbreaker... but no! Oscar pushes him into the ropes! And a dropkick!" "Now Oscar's got his opponent into a corner, and doing some *fierce* knife-edge chops! Even through all that armor, that's gotta hurt!" JR commented. "Now an Irish Whip... and he follows up with a clothesline! And Ankoku is DOWN!" "Now Oscar going up top... a *devastating* Sihn Tom Bomb! Will that be enough? 1... 2... nope." Tenay said. "Oscar's lookin' frustrated here... and now he's gonna go up top, and he's bringin' the Armored One with him!" Shawn said, as Oscar planted his opponent on the top rope. "And … HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP!!! MAH GOD!!!" JR screamed, "I haven't seen anything like that since Mero's Wildman days!" "And now Oscar firing up his golden battle-aura... he's going for a Kamehameha!" Tenay exclaimed as Ankoku staggered to his feet. But as soon as Oscar released the massive energy blast, Ankoku summoned up his energy blade. He barely managed to block the blast with the energy blade before it hit him. "Ankoku has his energy blade... but not for long, as Oscar hits him with a disarming strike to the wrist. Now setting Ankoku up for an Irish whip... but it's reversed!" Oscar flew into the ringpost, doing a nip-up and coming down hard. "Now Ankoku on the offensive... building up a head of steam..." Tenay was abruptly cut off when suddenly, Artemis reached into the ring and tripped the armored boy toy! He bounced back up to his feet and began yelling at the teenage girl, but got a vicious punch to the face for his efforts. At the same time, Oscar grabbed Ankoku from behind, catching him in a small package. "Oscar... 1... 2... and he got him!" JR shouted, astounded at Artemis's actions. "Looks like we know why Oscar brought her to ringside!" "And check it out... Artemis and Molly are havin' a little catfight," Shawn said, standing to get a better view. Indeed the two valets were exchanging *very* harsh words, which soon led to a full-out fight. Oscar, however, saved his girlfriend with a double-axehandle onto Sailor Molly's back. The two then started to double-team the downed Sailor, much to the dismay of the announcers. "C'mon! She's not an athlete! Besides, she's a lady!" JR protested. "Well, Oscar *is* half-girl," Shawn noted, enjoying his colleagues' reaction to that. "Well, Ankoku isn't, and he just nailed Oscar from behind!" JR shouted. The four continued to fight all the way down the aisle and back to the locker room. WINNER: Oscar "Mah God, what a match! And the best is yet to come! We've gotta cut to a commercial, but when we come back... Soulstone and Wolf vs Tuxedo Chris and the demonic Kefkain!" JR announced, as the camera faded out. **** {Ad for the new "Oni 6:66" T-shirt and other merchandising.] **** The opening chords of "The Perfect Drug" flooded the arena, as spooky purple light once again replaced the normal lighting. Tuxedo Chris and the massive Kefkain walked out to a huge chorus of boos. The crowd seemed to hate the representatives of Sonic's Horde even more than Oscar. The boos only grew more intense as the Dark One himself emerged behind him, smirking and giving fans the finger. Oni, however, was nowhere to be found The threesome had barely gotten to the ring before the crowd started to chant, "WOLF-A-RINE! WOLF-A-RINE! WOLF-A-RINE!" The chant grew deafening as the heavy-metal riffs of "Unforgiven II" tore out of the loudspeakers. Soulstone and Wolf walked out purposefully, Wolf without his usual burst of full-automatic gunfire. Tuxedo Chris stared at Soulstone as she walked down the aisle towards the ring. His ever-present lust was there, as always, but it now seemed to have a much darker tint to it. Dark Sonic had obviously rubbed off on him somewhat. TAG-TEAM MATCH KEFKAIN & TUXEDO CHRIS (w/ Dark Sonic) vs SOULSTONE & WOLF Wolf and Soulstone hit the ring running, as they viciously tore into their opponents. In seconds, Tuxedo Chris and even the mighty Kefkain had been thrown outside. Dark Sonic, meanwhile, had already hopped out of the ring. "And it looks like it's going to be Wolf and that big monster Kefkain..." JR said, as the vampire wolf stepped back into the ring. Soulstone, meanwhile, slipped out of the ring and took her corner. With a double *SNIKT* that set the crowd aflame, Wolf extended his deadly adamantium claws to their full length. Kefkain merely grinned, however, and flexed his own hand weaponry. "And these two monsters are literally TEARING into each other!" Tenay exclaimed, as the two ripped each other ruthlessly. Within seconds, their costumes were in shreds, though the two healed each others' cuts almost as soon as they were inflicted. "I hate this!" JR yelled indignantly. "What happened to sportsmanship? What happened to athleticism? Hell, what happened to 'no killing'?" "This is the 90's, JR, and what you're seeing in the ring right now is *exactly* what a guy has to do to get ahead," Shawn replied, as blood and tissue continued to fly. Kefkain finally tired of the useless contest, and flung Wolf into the corner like a rag doll. He then attempted a clothesline, but the smaller Wolf slipped out, causing the furry giant to collide with the ringpost. "MAH GOD!!!" JR screamed in horror, "Wolf just rammed his claws all the way into Kefkain's back and out the other side!" Indeed, it seemed that Kefkain had finally been hurt, as he let loose a blood-curdling howl. However, as Wolf retrieved his bloody claws from the white wolf's back, he whirled, grabbing Wolf's neck. "Good God, what in hell can HURT this man?!? And Kefkain with a *DEVESTATING* chokeslam! This could be over already... 1... 2... but no! Wolf barely managing to get a shoulder up!" "Y'know, these guys may be fictional characters, but they are tougher than nails," Shawn uttered, as Kefkain tagged in Tuxedo Chris. "Wolf's still down... and Tuxedo Chris with a dropkick to the head that won't help matters!" JR announced. "Chris setting Wolf up for a back-body drop... but it's Wolf with a scissor-kick instead!" "Tuxedo Chris back on his feet... and Wolf SPIKES him!" Tenay exclaimed, as Wolf procured an armbar on Tuxedo Chris and tagged in Soulstone. "And now Deb up to the top... double-axehandle to the elbow!" "Chris' elbow has got to be hurting after that... and Soulstone cranks up the pressure!" JR declared. "And a spinning-heel kick to Tux-boy's face! Deb covers... 1... 2... and a kick out!" "Tuxedo Chris is already up, though, and his cane's out!" Shawn noted. "He just bent her double with a gut-shot, and now he's trying to crack that thing over her back! Looks like it's pimps up, ho's down tonight!" "Maybe not... Wolf just dropkicked Tux-boy right in the back of the head! The ref's putting him back in his corner, but the tide's already turned," JR announced. "Now Soulstone throwing Chris into the corner, and a splash!" "Remind me again, JR... is that move supposed to be a *bad* thing?" Shawn grinned. "I know *I* wouldn't mind her jumping on..." "ANYWAY..." Tenay interrupted, before Shawn could go into full hentai mode, "Soulstone with a flurry of kicks to Tux-boy's midsection... and a DEVASTATING knife-edged chop!" "Somewhere, Ric Flair is smiling," JR noted. "Wait a minute... what the hell?" As the crowd began to boo ferociously, Oni stepped out, clad in fresh clothes. He seemed to be watching the action with mild interest, and little more. Wolf, however, immediately jumped off his corner to confront the demon, only to be leveled by a fireball from Dark Sonic. Oni smiled slightly, but showed little other emotion. "Back in the ring, now, Soulstone with an Irish whip... no! Reversal! And Soulstone hits chest-first!" JR winced as Soulstone staggered back, holding her bruised chest. Unfortunately, she staggered right into a German suplex. "And now, Tuxedo Chris setting Soulstone up for a powerbomb... this could be it!" Tenay exclaimed, then hissed in sympathy as Soulstone hit Chris with a low blow. "And Eternity's out!" JR cried, as Soulstone formed the energy blade. She smashed Chris in the face with the hilt, and then prepared to drive the blade into the ground for the Holy Explosion... "What the hell..." Shawn trailed off, as a massive blast of energy flashed through the air. It knocked Eternity cleanly out of Soulstone's hand, as well as searing her wrist. As she clutched her burned hand, the camera cut to Oni, who was smiling broadly now, his eyes smoking with residual energy. "That son of a..." JR was cut off when Tuxedo Chris abruptly recovered from Soulstone's attack, and hit her with a Tuxedo Press. As the announcers expressed their outrage, Tux-boy hooked the leg and pinned her. "1... 2..." JR counted, but was interrupted when Wolf attempted to break up the count. He was greeted by Kefkain, who immediately flooded the smaller Wolf with blood-red necromantic energies, stealing the very life essence from his foe. Meanwhile, the robo- ref mechanically counted Soulstone out. WINNER: Kefkain & Tuxedo Chris As Tuxedo Chris' hand was raised, Dark Sonic slithered in. "Very good, Caldwell," the evil hedgehog rasped. "Now take your prize, and let us be gone." Grinning maniacally, Tuxedo Chris hauled the dazed Soulstone up by the hair, slinging her over her shoulder. Too late, Samantha Jones and Sonya Sho Robotnik rushed to Deb's aid, only to be stopped by a now-enraged Oni. As he single-handedly fought the two women to a standstill, and Wolf struggled to revive himself, Sonic grabbed a microphone. In his other hand, as a trophy, he held Eternity. "Let's go, boys," he announced, grinning demonically. "We've got what we came for... and let this be a lesson to the rest of you." With a snap of his fingers, he, Kefkain, Oni, Tuxedo Chris, and Soulstone disappeared in a flash of crimson light. "NOOOOOO!!!" screamed Dave Marts, catapulting out of his seat and charging the ring, heedless both of the security officers who tried to hold him back and his lack of superpowers. He vaulted over the guardrail, leapt into the ring... but they were already gone. He collapsed, sobbing, a broken man. "Debbie... Debbie..." he whispered, as Samantha gently helped him up and led him to the backstage area, angrily shoving off security when they tried to collect Dave. Back at the announcement table, the commentators were speechless. "That... EVIL... maniacal... twisted..." JR sputtered, unable to express his dismay. "This is a dark, dark day for the AAA, ladies and gentlemen," Mike Tenay reported softly. "Dark Sonic... has taken Soulstone God knows where ... and God only knows what he's already doing to her." He shuddered at the thought of what Dark Sonic was capable of with a powerless Soulstone in his hands. "Cut to a commercial, dammit..." Shawn muttered, as he struggled to come to terms with what he'd just seen. **** [Completely oblivious to the tragedy that just unfolded, many disgustingly happy commercials ensue until you finally say "to hell with it" and shoot the TV.] **** The camera returned to a decidedly more somber crowd, as well as a saddened announce team. "Well, folks, the show must go on... and now we go to our Main Event, Nav vs. David "Foxfire" Kintobor for the World Net Championship!" MAIN EVENT AAA VIRTUAL NET CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH NAV vs DAVID "FOXFIRE" KINTOBOR Kintobor, as the champion, entered the fog-filled area of the arena first to a definitely negative reaction. He also came out alone, holding only his Prism Rifle. As "Princes of the Universe" faded from the speakers, he disappeared into the mist. The sirens and guitars that signaled Nav's coming blared over the loudspeakers, a chant of "NAV! NAV! NAV!" beginning to form from the still- recovering crowd. Nav came in, wielding his trademark M-16 rifle, custom-made bayonet and all. Immediately he was sprayed with laser fire, and the Destroyer was forced to quickly duck behind a pillar. Taking a Molotov cocktail from his belt and lighting it, he hurled the homemade bomb in the direction of the blast. Kintobor came charging out of hiding, firing from his rifle and a miniature wrist-blaster on his cybernetic arm even as the Molotov cocktail exploded behind him. He managed to catch the challenger in the shooting hand, making Nav hiss in pain and drop his weapon. Seeing an opening, Kintobor continued his charge, connecting with a devastating cybernetic uppercut that sent the Destroyer flying. Kintobor looked rather pleased with himself … until he noticed the grenade in his belt. BOOMSHAKALAKA! The bomb exploded, sending Kintobor flying into the air and crashing down hard, dropping his rifle. Nav sprinted over to cover him, but only got 2 and a half before, in a sudden burst of strength, Davie-kins managed to fling him off. He staggered to his feet, but when Nav charged him, he responded with a devastating electrified clothesline. Kintobor then dragged the Destroyer up, and delivered a ferocious Foxfire Thunderbomb onto the hard floor. He casually pinned the Destroyer, but somehow, at 2, Nav managed to kick out. Looking astonished and very angry, Kintobor set the challenger up for another. He lifted him... but Nav blocked! He then dropped down and delivered a desperation low-blow to David's groin. As Kintobor curled up in pain, Nav began to crawl towards his M-16. Just a few more inches... Shockingly, however, Kintobor was on his feet, and kicked the rifle away just as Nav was about to reach it. Snarling, he delivered a vicious stomp to the Nav's kidneys. After several more kicks, he positioned Nav for the Foxfire Thunderbomb. He lifted him up... and connected! The robo-ref counted ponderously as Foxfire hooked the leg, and got the 3-count. The camera then faded as Kintobor, holding his AAA belt high, walked out to a chorus of boos, and Bane rushed out to help his fallen friend...