Festival of the Boot By the Brothers Fauth Pan across the desert from a high altitude until a structure becomes visible on the horizon. Zoom in on it to reveal it to be a large colosseum. Splash over the screen the title FESTIVAL OF THE BOOT. Zoom in over the arena to reveal an octagonal platform in the middle of the flooded arena. Fade title and cut to the commentator's desk to show the dinner-suited forms of "Rampaging" Roy Slaven and HG Nelson. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this special Saturday night of pure biffo," Roy begins. "Where too much violence is never enough. I'm Roy Slaven and this is HG Nelson." "Yes, thank you, Roy," HG continues. "Tonight the Festival of the Boot coming to you live from the David Kintobor Memorial Toilet here in the Desert Colosseum where too much violence will be not enough." "So what do we have for the public at home on the flop and fiddle or here at the Bathroom, HG?" "Tonight we have four very special matches to resolve some unusual disputes amongst AAA's finest. First up, we have a special four-way battle between four hot-blooded young men for the heart of Sylia Stingray. Following that, we have s special battle to determine who is AAA's male sex symbol." "Sounds like that will be a very hard contested one," Roy interjected. "Yes indeed. We're looking forward to some interesting fights there. After that we have a battle to determine who is the more useless of two of AAA's clueless fanboys. And finally, we have AAA's first ever mech battle." "And of course, to make sure that this is good, and violent, and bloody... Aah, just what our hot blooded audience wants, all battles are won by either ring out or knock out, not pin or submission." "Given the rather aquatic nature of this arena, a ring out's pretty final." "Sound's like it's going to be an interesting night. And to help us with keeping things under control we've hired on security tonight in the form of two local experts." Quick cut over to one of the gates to the stadium. Standing on a raft is a pair of men. The first one is blonde, wearing shiny armour and carrying a HUGE two-handed sword. The second is enormous. He wears a bear-skin cloak, and is carrying an enormous two-handed, four-bladed axe. He waves goofily at the camera. Cut back to the desk. "I'm sure those two will insure that everything goes off as planned without any unexpected surprises," Roy commented. "But now, we've got our first match of the night." "Yes, it's one of AAA's most divisive issues. Four different avatars have each been vying at the heart of Sylia Stingray, the leader of the Knight Sabers. Tonight, we're going to sort out which one of them is the man most deserving of her affections." "That's right HG." Roy replied "And we're going to do it in that classic and manly of ways: by the four of them beating each other into a bloody pulp." Quick cut to the VIP Booth. The four Knight Sabers are watching, with Sylia looking distinctly unimpressed. Cut back. "And who are our four hot-blooded young blokes going after this most alluring of prizes?" HG asked. "Well first up, we have two AAA old hands. Firstly we have Kyrind Brandford, famed boomer-smasher, international rock star and one-time high-school sweetheart of Sylia. He usually goes at it with a series of high-powered physical attacks." "Mmmm. Very interesting," HG replied. "Our second competitor is Takei Orochi. He's a technological genius who designed and built his own super-advanced hardsuit. He's equipped it with an internal self-repair system and hip-mounted guns." "Hip mounted?" Roy inquired. "He's not compensating for any deficiencies in the trouser department, is he?" "Possibly, Roy. Our next two are here for their first times. Firstly, we have Locke Sommerville, famed ESPer and ADP officer, who has the power to level whole cities. Secondly, we have Jim Williams, aka Darkwind, a cybernetically enhanced shapeshifter." "Sounds like we're going to have an amusing night. So ladies and gentlemen, weather here at the toilet and at home on the flop and fiddle, will you get them out and bang them together for our first match." MATCH ONE: KYRIND BRANDFORD vs TAKEI OROCHI vs LOCKE SOMMERVILLE vs DARKWIND. PRIZE: Sylia Stingray's love. The four competitors are rafted out to the central platform. They are escorted to opposing sides of the platform. The bell for the start of the round goes off. Kyrind and Locke immediately run at each other and begin slugging it out. Kyrind throws a series of fast, hard punches at Locke, only to have them blocked by a powerful force field. Locke replies with a telekenetic blast that sends Kyrind flying across the stadium. Before Kyrind can get up, Locke hurls himself at him, hitting him with a flurry of fast, hard punches. "Those two are going at each other rather hard, eh Roy?" HG notes. "Comes with the territory. The two of them are avatars of the same author. So they're competing for the same space in the author's works, as well as the same place between the sheets." Darkwind fires off a volley of mini-missiles at Takei. Takei easily dodges them, but it spoils his aim on Darkwind with his hip guns, with the blasts going wide. "Looks like he's having a bit of trouble in the tool department," Roy noted as the two of them faced off. The two of them keep firing and dodging, but score no actual hits. Darkwind tried a forward run, but instead had to dodge around the struggling forms of Kyrind and Locke. Takei took advantage of this momentary confusion to hit Darkwind in the shoulder with a blast from one of his guns. "That's probably going to leave a bit of pain for Darkwind" HG added. "He seems to be rather vulnerable around those parts." "Could try hitting him in the head. That doesn't seem to hurt him too much" "Wait! We've got some serious pumping action from Kyrind over there in the heap!" HG shouted as Kyrind hit Locke with a high-powered punch that sent him flying. Even though his shields absorbed most of the damage, he ended up slightly dazed on the other side of the arena. Instantly, Kyrind leapt up and dove at his opponent. Locke rolled out of the way at the last second, sending Kyrind's fist hard into the floor. Where it stuck. "Ooh. Looks like he's in a bit of a sticky situation there" HG observed as Kyrind tried to pull his hand out of the ground. Taking advantage of his opponent's momentary problems, Locke hit him with a telekinetic blast. The blast threshed him around and slammed him against the floor. Unfortunately, it left him with his hand still firmly stuck in the floor. "That was what he calls a number one," Roy observed. "Number One?" HG commented. "Sorry. Level one. He claims that a level five could flatten a city," Roy stated flatly. "That's impressive," HG added. "It'd certainly loosen a few bowels as well." Darkwind and Takei had been continuing their running fight, using the limited space of the arena to avoid the other. Both had been firing their weapons frantically, but had not resulted in a single hit on the other. Then Takei's luck gave out on him. He got caught in the wash of a TK blast from Locke, and got Kyrind in his face. He quickly grabbed Kryrind and threw him off, but then got hit with a volley of mini-missiles from Darkwind. The blasts gouged out chunks of his armour on his left arm and leg, and seen him reeling to near the edge of the platform. "That looked rather painful for him," Roy observed. "This could be the end for Takei." As Darkwind readied himself to finish Takei off, something unusual happened. Someone or something lept from the audience, over the moat and landed on the platform right next to Darkwind. All the cameras instantly focused on the figure - revealing it to be a blonde haired woman in a police uniform. "Kathy?!" Darkwind yelled. "That's right!" She yelled out. "I want to know what you're doing here!" "Ummm..." Darkwind began to say, but he was cut off by Kathy. "Never mind that. I'm going, and you're coming with me!" She grabbed him by the approximation of an ear. "Ah... could you help me out a bit here?" Takei asked as he regained his footing. "My... er... navigation systems seem to be damaged. Yeah." Kathy glared at him with deep red eyes. "Nevermind" Takei said, backing off cautiously. With that, she leapt back into the audience, dragging Darkwind behind her, and vanished through one of the exits. A few seconds later, a black helicopter buzzed up from the carpark. "Pardon me for saying that, Roy, but what the (blank) was that?" HG exclaimed, at a loss for words (A rare occurrence). "Jealous girlfriend," Roy replied flatly. "I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!" a voice bellowed out from the helicopter. It then ignited its afterburners and sped off into the night. Takei and Locke stood there, stunned. Kyrind took advantage of the temporary confusion, and delivered a massive punch to Locke's guts. As Locke doubled over in pain, Kyrind grabbed him and slammed him into the ground. Contrary to all expectations, Locke bounced with a loud "TOGG" sound and flew off the platform and into the water. "That's one down!" Roy exclaimed. "Yes, Roy, it looks like Locke is out of the action and in the big wet" HG added. "And while the medical crew are busy fishing Locke out of the plumbing, our two remaining blokes will continue the action." Takei recovered, and fired off several blasts at Kyrind. Kyrind managed to leap through them, and delivered a powerful slam to Takei. As Takei reeled from the impact, Kyrind slammed him hard. Takei's hardsuit shattered, debris flying everywhere. Takei himself was sent flying into the ground. "That looks like it for Takei," HG noted as Kyrind began shouting out his own praises to the crowd. "That fist went straight through his armour like it was made out of jelly." "I'm not too sure, HG. It's not over till the meat tray's filled, and it looks like Takei's not quite tonight's special yet." While Kyrind was busy prancing around the arena, Takei had regained his footing. He slyly skulked over to the lower left arm piece of his hardsuit. Carefully, he picked it up, and slipped it onto his arm. After a second or two, the boomer arm fused with the hardsuit arm, making it an extension of his arm. "Looks like Takei's pulling a surprise one out of his date," HG commented. Kyrind turned around, expecting to face a defeated Takei. Instead, he found Takei running at him, arm outstretched. Takei planted it right in his gut, then fired the gun, sending Kyrind flying. He hit the ground, skidded, and went off the side of the platform. "And that's it for Kyrind!" Roy called out. "Takei pulls an incredible surprise out from his date in time to take the match and Sylia!" "Indeed it seems that the prize is coming to him," HG Commented as Sylia - in her hardsuit - flew out to the center platform. Takei grinned at her, smiling like a moron. Sylia's suit betrayed no emotion as she raised her right arm and blasted him in his cyberarm, sending him sprawling. A second blast knocked him off the side of the platform. She then flew off back to the audience. "I'd certainly say that he got what he was deserving, Roy," HG commented "We'll be back after this, for the battle for AAA's official male sex symbol!" [Ads] The ads fade back in to Roy and HG back at their desk. "And now a special match for an honourary title" Roy begins. "Tonight, two of AAA's most hot and trouser-driven blokes will slug it out for the title of AAA's Male Sex Symbol." "We do seem to be having a bit of a glandular-driven night, Roy" HG commented. "Indeed. I suspect that tonight we'll see a very tough match, given the special nature of the fight." "That's right, Roy. For this match will be decided by pure grunt. No power armour, no missiles, no roses, no reality warping blasts. Just pure boof." "Indeed HG. Although I think a match for AAA's female sex symbol would be interesting." "What would you suggest Roy? A clothes match?" "Could be interesting. I think a bit of nude action could help decide the match." "And with that out of the way, will you now take them out and bash them together for our second match!" MATCH TWO: ANKOKU vs MOONLIGHT CRHIS PRIZE: Winner declared AAA's Male Sex Symbol. Chris Caldwell's old music, the special version of "I'm Too Sexy" blares out over the speakers and 'Moonlight Chris' is ferried out to the center ring, dressed for a change in a pair of new jeans and a white "I'm Too Sexy" T-shirt. He stands and wait at the edge of the ring, as Ankoku makes his appearance. The crowd roars as he strides onto the barge, forgoing his armour for a plain black jumpsuit. "I think I've spotted the ladies' favourite here" Roy comments. The moment Ankoku steps onto the platform, Chris runs at him. Ankoku, wary of the edge, returns the charge and slams his elbow into Chris' unprepared face. He starts working on Chris' chest with a series of chops, then quickly slams a thrust kick into his opponent's gut. "He's starting early," HG notes as Chris staggers back, winded but Ankoku immediately goes at him again. This time, he grabs Chris in a neck lock and quickly turns, back to Chris and dropping him onto the hard ground. Ankoku stands, and then drops again, ramming his elbow into Chris' back as he tries to rise. Chris rolls away and they both stand, Chris looking notably wearied by the pounding. Ankoku runs at him again, but this time Chris is ready. He lunges forwards, grabbing Ankoku around his chest and pushing back at him. Ankoku grabs at the back of Chris's shirt and the two start pushing each other for a few seconds. Chris throws his leg in, tripping Ankoku and releasing his hold at the last instant, dropping his foe to the ground. Chris immediately drops on him, delivering a knee to the abdomen, then kneeling beside him and pounding at Ankoku. The knight holds his hands up, trying his best to ward off Chris' blows until the Robo-Ref calls Chris off. "Looks like Chris is really wanting this title," HG notes. "He's really grinding Ankoku." "Indeed. You look at how he's done so far in the AAA." Roy added "He's lost Molly, he got Soulstone only to loose him-" "Her" HG corrected. "Her, to Ankoku, he's universally despised, and only Oscar returns his calls." The two stand, Ankoku now looking fazed. Chris smirks and slams his fist hard into Ankoku's cheest, then barges his shoulder into the knight, sending him sprawling back, dangerously close to the edge. Chris pauses to dust off his T-shirt as Ankoku struggles to his knees, then strides over to the knight. Lifting him to his feet, Chris then grabs his arm and Irish whips him back towards the center. He runs at Ankoku, arm outstretched for a clothesline that Ankoku barely ducks. Chris spins while running and comes back at the knight, who suddenly leaps up with a double leg drop to intercept Chris, sending both to the ground. Ankoku rolls back and stands as Chris gets to his knees. He yells, and a wave of energy streaks towards Ankoku! The knight is caught full in the chest and staggered by Chris' unexpected blast. The bell rings, but neither combatant hears it as Chris stands and sends another blast at his adversary. Ankoku barely dodges to the side, and starts running back at Chris. He dodges left to avoid a sudden third blast (which ended up scorching the Robo-Ref), and finally reaches and tackles Chris. The two tumble, locked together, until Ankoku shoves his leg into Chirs' abdomen. Chris is sent flying to the edge, scrambles for it and slips over into the water. "And with both a disqualification and a ring-out, it seems that Chris has well and truly lost this match," HG noted, smiling. "Nice dress sense. Shame about the person," Roy added. "And it looks like the Robo-Ref is coming back to the ring to award Ankoku with the title" The Robo-Ref hovered out to the centre of the ring and announced to the crowd. "And the winner, and official AAA Male Sex Symbol is... DJ Croft!" There was a stunned silence. "That's an unexpected turn-up, Roy," HG finally stated after a lengthy silence. "Indeed HG. I suspect that it had something to do with the Reality- Warping blast that hit the Ref," Roy noted. "Or just my incredible Aura Of Smooth" DJ Added as he walked over to the commentary desk, title belt in hand. "You Australians really ought to get a clue about what's hot in the real world." The camera faded just as HG hit DJ, hard. [Ads] The show fades back in with an insufferably smug looking HG and a normal looking Roy back at their desk. "We're back for match number three. A match between two of AAA's more... amusing personas for a very interesting title" Roy announced, loudly. "Indeed. Adam Chris Leigh and Adam Sheehan both have reasons for fighting for a title, no matter what it is," HG stated, with more than a hint of smugness in his voice. "ACL has never won a thing and is incredibly unpopular. He's probably hoping that if he takes the belt, he'll get some respect." "And Adam Sheehan?" "He's completely new here, and probably dying to make a name for himself," HG added. "So, if you'll get them out and bash them together until they're bloody and raw for our third match featuring two lads called Adam!" HG announced loudly. MATCH THREE: ADAM CHRIS LEIGH vs ADAM SHEEHAN PRIZE: Title of AAA's most clueless and useless fanboy. ACL shows up as the match is called, dressed in his trenchcoat and casual clothes, rather than his usual Jurain battle gear. He seems very confident about this match, and walks up to the announcers table. He grabs a microphone of the table and proclaims: "Here's a message for all you fans of Adam Sheehan! This new boy thinks he's so tough, going up against an AAVM veteran like me. Well, I've got a shot at a title as I rightfully deserve, and I'm not gonna let him stand in my way! You're history already, Adam!" "He obviously likes blowing his own flute," HG noted, clearly bored at the display. Adam Chris Leigh is (finally) ferried out into the arena and immediately begins working the croud, prancing and posing to minimal response. There seems to be a bit of worry from the judges as Adam Sheehan has yet to appear. A brief yet nervous wait ensues, during which ACL can be heard yelling for the match to be called in his favour. Finally Adam arrives ringside and is ferried out; it appears, in his usual manner, he lost his way and was late. He has only barely stepped off the raft, when ACL immediately charges at him, pummelling away at his face and upper torso. "ACL's really going hard here at Adam," Roy noted at ACL's display. "Indeed. I wonder if either of them realise the problems with this title." "How's that HG?" Roy asked. "Well, a) The loser gets it, not the winner. How could the winner be AAA's *most* clueless and useless fanboy?" "Good point" "And b) It's not a title you really want." ACL finishes up with a straight lariat to Adam's neck, knocking him clean down. ACL immediately turns away from his opponent, walking to the center of the stadium while cheering for himself and chopping at the air. Adam suddenly leaps up, looking completely unhurt! "How'd he do that, Roy?" HG asked, clearly confused. "Well, it's easy." Roy Explained. "Adam Sheehan's Plot Contrivance Powers simply go that he decides that the rules that apply to characters also apply to him, thus he can have whatever power he decides that he has." "Could come in handy if you're looking for a bit of trouser action" "Indeed." He charges straight at Adam, using the battle gear's punching attack. In a flash of light, ACL is blocked by... the Wings of the Light hawk! "Can he do that?" HG asked. "I guess he decided that if someone else can be a lost alien prince, so can he," Roy replied, rather flatly. Adam absorbs the Wings to go into full battle mode, much like ACL has many times. He immediately draws his sword and starts swinging wildly at ACL, who has to duck and scamper away. ACL activates his own Wings, and starts throwing energy blasts at Adam, who is getting hit rather badly. "He's given himself the powers, but he doesn't seem how to use them." HG observed from Adam's clearly uninspired performance. "Adam here does have a bit of a reputation for being clueless," Roy noted. "He can copy ACL, but can't quite figure out what to do with his tools after he gets his hands on them." With Adam staggered from the constant attacks, ACL runs in. He ducks left at the last second and leaps into the air, spinning around with a huge airborne kick to Adam's head. Adam drops like a stone, but stands once again as ACL gets back to his feet. "How tough is this guy?" HG asked, clearly impressed by Adam's amazing endurance. "It's not that... I think he just doesn't notice what's happening," Roy noted. Adam finally takes a strong offensive, starting with a strong blow to ACL's head, then grabbing his neck and flipping over for a back suplex. Adam immediately gets back and, as ACL slowly stands, puts him in a necklock again and drops him to the ground for a second time in a DDT. Adam stomps at ACL on the ground, who rolls out of the way and finally stands, shaking his head to clear it. Adam looks around, seemingly confused, to see the crowd cheering for him. A smile crosses his face and he raises both his arms in a victory pose. "Looks like things are all over, ACL," HG notes. "Indeed, HG," Roy replied. "It looks like ACL will get the title he's always wanted." It doesn't last. The gem in the palm of ACL's hand glows, and he unleashes a huge Ryoko-styled energy blast at Adam. Adam turns at the noise, only to be caught full in the face by ACL's blast. He is sent staggering back, only barely staying upright. A second, similar blast bowls him over and sends him flying out of the ring. "And a sudden, surprise turn around there!" HG exclaims. "It's all over for Adam." "And ACL still seems to be as clueless as possible," said Roy, noting ACL's prancing around the ring and carrying on. "Sadly, we'll have to miss the look on his face, when he finds out what the match was about, as we'll have to skip to the ads," HG noted. [Ads] "Weellll, and welcome back to the toilet seat tonight for our final fight" Roy greeted the audience as the program returned. And what an interesting match we've got for our final battle, right HG?" "Yes, indeed Roy" HG Replied. "Tonight we have AAA's first ever mecha battle between an AAA favourite and a total newcomer." "We don't get too many mecha pilots amongst Avatars," Roy noted. "I guess it's because they like to do their own work." "Indeed, Roy. I think that most of our boys want to point out how good they are on their own, rather than needing some big tools to show off in. However, we have found a couple, and tonight they'll be slugging it out for the title of AAA's hottest mecha pilot. And who do we have in for the biffo tonight?" "First up, we have one of the crowd's old favourites, Ankoku, just back from his earlier fight with Moonlight Chris. Now Ankoku here is not just wearing his power armour, but is bringing in his Big Van Mech." "And what do we know about this particular boofmobile of his?" "Well, HG, besides turning into a van, it's got a huge grabber claw, a bomb launcher and hover-jets. And it's got enough room to seat 8 Sailor Scouts and the big A himself." "Probably quite useful for when you want a little back seat fun, Roy." "Well, I'd imagine that you could fit several couples into that one," Roy replied. "And with that, it's time to introduce our second competitor," HG Announced. "Hailing from Peter W. Walker's epic 'Objective Reflex Point', we have Commander Michael Austin of the Robotech Expeditionary Force, piloting a stock VAF-6J Alpha." "Now what do we know about this young lad?" Roy asked. "Well he's decided to hand us a complete listing of his credentials," HG replied as he picked up and sorted through a large number of pages. "Let's see... At 22, he's the Air Group Commander on one of Mars Division's two Ikazuchi-Class cruisers, he's an accomplished ace with many kills to his credit, he got his first command at the age of 16, he has saved at least one battlegroup single-handedly from certain destruction at the hands of the enemy, he is a crack-shot with a Gallant Rifle or a Praxian Crossbow-" "Praxian Crossbow?" Roy Asked. "Bit unusual for one of the manly persuasion." "He saved the life of Bela, their leader once," HG replied. "Added to this, he's an accomplished Cyclone rider, easily triumphed over an Invid Command Battloid and captured the pilot alive in their first encounter with it, and was unanimously voted as the leader of the European resistance army." Roy looked clearly impressed. "Not to mention that he's the godson of Max Sterling, and Aurora Sterling's godfather," HG Added. "Oh, and he defeated and wooed a Tirolian super-soldier with his singing. And warned that Mars Division would be destroyed. However, the REF overruled his concerns." "Gawds. Sounds like Marissa Picard," Roy noted. "Indeed. And now to the fight. This one will be to when either mecha is destroyed or one pilot concedes. And to protect the audience from collateral, we've installed a force field bubble around the battlefield." Roy smiled. "So would you all weather here in the toilet or at home get them out and bang them together until they're a bloody pulp for the last fight of the night!" MATCH FOUR: ANKOKU piloting BIG VAN MECH vs MICHAEL AUSTIN piloting VAF-6J ALPHA The arena had been drained and the platform removed for this special event. Two newly-installed huge doors - one on either side of the arena - opened to reveal the two competitors. Ankoku's van mech drove out and transformed into it's huge robot form. Michael's Alpha simply walked out, brandishing its huge beam rifle. The two of them squared off with each other. The bell went, and the two immediately lept into action. Michael opened the game by launching a swarm of missiles from his Alpha's shoulders. The Van Mech quickly darted sideways on its hover jets, managing to avoid them all. The missiles tried turning to follow it, but instead ended up impacting into the force field bubble. "Interesting move there by Ankoku," Roy observed as the Van Mech kept up it's erratic high-speed weaving around the edge of the stadium. "He's dodging the missiles and not giving them enough room to turn before they hit the bubble." "Yes, indeed Roy. He's certainly proving that you can indeed dodge more than three missiles at once," HG noted as a second swarm impacted against wall. "Huh? What does the number of missiles have to do with what he's doing?" Roy enquired. "Never mind," HG quickly replied. "He's probably hoping to wear down his missile supply, and then go in for the kill." Unfortunately, Ankoku's plan hit upon an early snag when Michael opted for a snap-shot with the rifle rather than another volley of missiles. The blast only grazed the side of the Van Mech's leg, but was enough to temporarily throw Ankoku's concentration. As the Van Mech reeled, Michael launched another volley of missiles at it. With Ankoku unprepared, the van mech was rocked by the explosions, and sent crashing to the ground. Sensing a quick victory, Michael ran forwards, only to be surprised when the Van Mech transformed back into its (now somewhat battered) van mode, and shot past the Alpha. The Alpha turned, firing shots off from its rifle. The van managed evade them, as it accelerated and turned to come back at the Alpha. "Very interesting game Ankoku's playing here tonight folks," HG noted. "He's playing very defensively. Might be interesting to see how long he lasts." "Reminds me of my days racing V8s back in Lithgow," Roy commented. "Back then I'd pick on other cars if they were being pains. You'd rush up behind it, give it a quick bash up the back door then ease off the pressure. Then, a minute later, you'd do it again. Sooner or later he'd give, drop back. and let you past." The Van mech did a sharp turn near the walls, and came charging back at the Alpha at high speed. The Alpha fired several blasts from its rifle, but only one of them seemed to connect, sending the Van flying. However, much to everyone's surprise, it transformed into it's robot mode in mid flight. "Very interesting move there," Roy stated as he watched. "It's a fascinating display of quality driving." The Van Mech landed on its feet and let fly with a pair of heavy missiles. The first one sailed over the Alpha and exploded behind it, sending it reeling. The second one impacted into it, taking off the left arm. The Alpha crashed to the ground, badly damaged. "Looks like Mikey-boy may be out of it," Roy observed. "That looks like he got a pretty decisive boot to the date there." "Don't be to sure, Roy" HG replied. "I think this guy isn't quite as bad off as he's letting on." The Van Mech ran towards the downed Alpha to finish it off, when suddenly it lept into the air. The Battloid flew overhead, blasting at the Van Mech with it's rifle, and scoring several hard hits. The Van Mech ran forwards, but received several more in the back, sending it crashing to the ground. Unexpectedly, a huge cloud of smoke billowed out of the mecha. The Alpha made a high-speed dash forwards, heading straight for the Van Mech. The wash from its jets dispersed the smoke, revealing the Van Mech slowly limping off to one side of the stadium. The Alpha executed a tight turn that bought it back around to face the crippled enemy. It launched a huge volley of missiles at the Van Mech, striking it dead on. "I might have to take it back Roy," HG said gravely. "It looks like it's all over for Ankoku." As the smoke form the explosions cleared, the Van Mech was revealed to be heavily damaged. Both its legs had been blasted off at the knees, and the head and right arm were both gone. The Alpha dropped the rifle walked over to its downed opponent, and, using its remaining hand, pried open the chest of the Van Mech. The cockpit was empty. "Well, Roy, I may have to take it back again," HG added, very surprised. "It seems that Ankoku was taking a brief break." "True HG. I do recall hearing that he's able to control the van mech by remote..." A small, black, armoured figure flew up to face the Alpha's main sensor panel. "Looking for someone?" it asked, and put a volley of mini-missiles straight into the Alpha's face. "And Anoku himself is taking on the Alpha!" Roy exclaimed. "That last hit will certainly have an effect on Michael's piloting," HG added. The Alpha reeled back, blinded by the loss of it's sensors. It tried ineffectually swatting in Anoku's general area with its remaining hand, but he was too fast for the mecha. "I'm going to be interested to see what he's going to do against that thing," HG commented. "The size difference is rather substantial." Anoku ducked down to the Alpha's lower body, and then few behind it. A pair of quick slashes took out the back of the knees. The Alpha snapped backwards, sparks flying from the damaged joints. It collapsed backwards, clearly unable to get up. "And that looks to be it for Michael," Roy commented. Down in the arena, Ankoku removed his helmet and bowed, clearly enjoying the cheering of the crowds as the recovery crew towed off the remains of the Alpha and the van mech. "And Ankoku will go on to face DJ Croft piloting EVA-01 next week," HG added. Ankoku went white. "And sadly that's if for the night," Roy said. "A big thanks to all of our fighters tonight- Adam Chris Leigh, Adam Sheenan, Ankoku, Darkwind, Kyrind Branford, Locke Sommerville, Takei Orochi and Moonlight Chris, a very big thanks to our security men, a special thanks to Sylia Stingray for being such a good sport and to you the audience, weather here in the toilet of there at home- What was that!" he exclaimed as a huge explosion rocked the stadium. Down in the arena, one of the huge mech doors had exploded, as a huge, green M-1 tank rolled in. "Where is he?!" it yelled in a metallic voice, as it transformed into a huge green and purple robot. Above, a grey and red F-15 swooped down, transforming as it went into a large, grey and red robot. A blue tape deck leapt from its hand, and transformed into a third robot. "Lord Megatron! There he is!" the grey and red robot exclaimed, pointing out Ankoku. "Ah!" he exclaimed, and ran. "After him!" the green robot yelled. The three of them chased off after him. "Never a dull moment here in AAA" HG noted as the cameras faded out. NOTES No, I'm not making it up about Michael Austin. He really exists, and is just as bad as claimed. "Objective Reflex point" is certainly worthy of a good MSTing, but it's waaaaaaaay to big. It's like a Tom Clancy novel. Only less interesting. And better written. And suffering from an Author Avatar. Besides which, there's not a dog's chance in hell that Peter would let anyone near it. Roy Slaven and HG Nelson really do exist here in Australia. They host a variety show and enjoy baiting their guests.