Fight Scene opens with a black and white scene of a Mainframe hotel, as Edward and Scarlet support a very weakened Colley Dogstar down the hallway. The disapproving voices of 3A commentators Jim Ross and Ric Flair can be heard over the footage. "Nav's picking them off one by one. I can understand wanting to even the odds, but still... poisoning their food is just a bit much, even in this game." "One does have to question engaging in biological warfare during a title shot." Michael Cole's commentary then joined the opening montage. "Nav's one-man war against Team Foxfire continued last week as Colley Dogstar fell prey to the madman's tactics." The video switched to the tag team semi-final match between the Lady Killers and Taruchi. "The Light God Taruchi succumbed to the formidable team of Moonlight Chris Caldwell and Oscar Martinez and came to odds with one Lord Thinker." The video feed showed Taruchi yelling at a baffled Lord Thinker as he clutched his Mally statuette defensively. "No one... *no one*... has the right to use Malahelicon like that! Your brazen behavior will *not* go unpunished! This... I *COMMAND*!" Taruchi's voice protested. "It's a *statue*, for Christ's sake!" Ric's voice protested. "The nefarious Horde returned to full force, as an old foe summoned new powers..." Cole continued. "There's no psychics in the Horde... who could that be?" Tenay's voice asked as a violet blast erupted into Vision from an unseen source. The source is revealed as the video cuts to Joseph, hovering ominously above the mat. "Sweet Mother of Mary... that's *Joseph* himself!" JR yelled over the footage. "That smug no-selling bastard's a Horde member now!" Ric scowled. "...And in the intense main event, a *horrible* accident occurred," Cole concluded as the footage cued to the Bloodgrave/Kefkain/Oni match. Shaed had launched Oni over the ropes with his dark ki burst, the Koku En Ha. The massive demon sailed toward the commentator's desk... "OH, SHI---!" Tenay's voice yelped just before impact. The footage ended with a frantic Ric looking on as his colleagues received medical assistance. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The Author Avatar Association presents... FIGHT SCENE! Isawa Ceremonial Grounds, Konan Empire. A traditional, ancient-style Chinese city spanned out beneath the cameras view. An elegant temple stood to the west, with red and gold banners sailing outside its entryway. Two flanks of guards stood ready along the rampway leading down to the wrestling ring that was incongruously situated outside the temple's grounds. The wooden bleachers surrounding the ringside area were filled with citizens of varying classes, common workers sitting alongside nobles to observe the event. A pair of soldiers manning mortars launched a burst of fireworks high into the air, signaling the opening of the latest edition of Fight Scene. It was a new, yet hauntingly familiar voice that welcomed the broadcast audience to this mystical realm's show... "The city is full of 'la rasa' as 3A comes to you *LIVE* from the Konnan imperial capital at the sold-out Isawa Ceremonial Grounds for what is *SURE* to be the Biggest Fight Scene *ever*!" the voice proclaimed with chillingly practiced enthusiasm. "That's *Konan* empire, Tony. One 'n'," Michael Cole's voice corrected. 'Tony' continued his introduction, regardless. "Good evening, everyone, and welcome to another exciting week of Fight Scene! I'm special guest announcer Tony Schiavone coming to you *LIVE* along with the legendary Ric Flair and 3A's inside interviewer Michael Cole!" "In lieu of Mike Tenay and Jim Ross' unfortunate accident, Tony and I have been assigned to make our 3A announcing debut here tonight!" Cole added an unusual tinge of enthusiasm. "Huzzah," Ric deadpanned under his breath. "But regardless of who's calling the action, tonight we'll see some amazing matches, including the bout that will determine which team will take on the Ladykillers for the tag belts at Interslam." "That's right, Ric!" Tony enthused. "Interslam is just *two* weeks away! Coupled with the Great American Bash, coming this week on pay per view, you're set to witness two of the hottest events this sport has to offer!" "Ummm... okay, Tony," Cole replied uneasily, while Ric emitted a flustered sigh. The momentary tension was fortunately broken as the pounding guitars of "Unforgiven II" sounded from the speakers. Soon after, a pair of somewhat short figures emerged from the tent at the top of the rampway to a thunderous ovation. "Here comes two of 3A's most recognizable furries! Whoo!" Ric cheered as the ever-popular Lynxara brought her companion to an excited capacity crowd. Kyle "Wolf" Hawkins came out, dressed in a camouflaged USMC sweat shirt. He paused to scratch the back of his head, amazed by the cheers, as his comrades Sonya Sho Robotnik and Agent Q approached him from behind. Once the shock of the cheers wore off, though, the entourage strode methodically down to the ring. "You said it, Ric. Kyle Hawkins here has to be one of the multiverse's premiere midget wrestlers--" Tony proclaimed over the cheers. "Umm... Tony, he actually *is* a mouse," Cole interrupted. "Indeed, its truly a testament that he can fight so well in that plushie suit--" "Tony, Wolf's a *real* mouse!" Ric informed bitterly, "He's one of this league's main stars and a title holder! *Research*, you overstuffed, over*paid*--" "For a midget wrestler to achieve so much under such circumstances is *truly* a success story for our sport!" Tony concluded, oblivious to his colleagues frustrated cries. Wolf and Agent Q parted the ropes to let Sonya and Lynxara through, then the Moon Kingdom Champion took the mic. "Damndest thing happened last Tuesday mornin'" Wolf growled into the mic with a smirk. "Woke up that mornin' and found out, heh, I was the Moonie Champion." The cheers returned as he discarded his sweat shirt to reveal the title belt around his waist. "I've been many things in my lifetime: a soldier, a pilot, even an assassin," he continued with a somber tone. "But a champion? Heh, that's a first." "Yes, Wolf has had a hard time in his 3A career," Cole noted. Ric arched a bemused brow in his direction. "Yes, Michael, he has," Ric replied flatly. "Hawkins has had people trying to kill him and stuff." "Behind me are some of the toughest furries in this league." Wolf continued boldly. "This belt got the ball rolling, and our assault continues this week with an early shot at *your* spiny ass, Sonic." Wolf chucked his mic over to his manager Lynxara, as the crowd's volume rose again. "This Lynxara has to have one of *the* most unusual and provocative outfits I've seen on a valet." Tony mused. "To wear all of that fur, in a time when animal rights is such a controversial issue..." "Tony, she really *is* a...." Cole began, attempting to explain the catgirl. "I remember what you did, Sonic," the catgirl began coldly, "It was a different body and a different life... but I *remember* what you did to me then." "My dearest little kitten, I'm flattered!" a snide voice cackled over the PA system. "Good heavens, folks! Is the Madness spreading here to the 3A!?" Tony exclaimed. "No," Ric harshly retorted, rolling his eyes. "I certainly hope not, I don't get paid much as it is, and if our ratings started going down..." Michael began nervously. In a ripple of reality, the dark hedgehog and his Horde materialized at the top of the rampway. Kefkain towered behind Dark Sonic, along with Joseph, clothed in a dark violet robe with a hood. Wolfsbane and Dark Starr stood at each end, taunting back at the nearby spectators. "I, too, remember our moments together, my dear," the diabolical Sonic cooed to a clearly aggravated Lynxara. "I look so forward to tonight. Not only will I put both Brisby and Pippkin under my thumb once and for all, I'll win something much more precious..." He paused, and curled his lips into a lecherous smile. "...you." "That's *evil*!" Cole protested. "Dark Sonic has to be one of the most downright scariest people in the 3A." "Nearly leveled a stadium, killed a promoter... yes, Michael, I think that might qualify as 'scary'," Ric managed to say with only a slight trace of acidic sarcasm in his voice. "But alas, business before pleasure," Dark Sonic dismissed, "I remember an offer that you made a few weeks ago, dear Hawkins: your team against mine. At that moment, I couldn't conceive of a prize *worthy* of my time and attentions. Then, a ray of brilliance struck me--" "That had to hurt," Lynxara mocked, her gaze steady on the black tyrant. Sonic returned her stern gaze and continued. "I had a little talk with the good people that run this league and reached a potential agreement. If you and your motley crew win Mind Games at Interslam, I must return to my Dark Mobius, to my *adoring* followers back home. If my team wins, however..." His gaze slid over to his sister Sonya, who steadied her hand on the pommel of her mystical blade. "The Powers that Be will return to me my full and *rightful* magical powers." Ric stared up at the ring in shock. "So it can all begin over again?!" he shouted. "A rejuvenated Dark Sonic? Oh my..." Tony breathed in shock. "You see, this is why you don't put federations under the control of overpowered college students..." Ric continued to rant. "If he loses, Dark Sonic could never menace the 3A again," Cole pondered. "But if he gets his power back, no one will be safe. He won't be playing the second time around." Sonya, Lynxara and Wolf all exchanged looks and words of shock and concern. Finally, they nodded with approval as Sonya gained control of the mic. "Little bro," Sonya jeered with a grin, "We're ready to play this game. Better watch your ass tonight though, Lynxara's been waiting to sink he claws into you for a long, *long* time. Hell hath no fury an' all that." The two forces traded taunts and challenges as the view faded back to the announcers desk. Tony Schiavone had JR's chair in the middle, with Michael Cole and Ric Flair at each side. "It appears that Mind Games has been set for Interslam, guys," Tony announced. "3A's summer spectacular is just two weeks away and you can only see it live on--" "NO, Tony. Just... *no*," Ric intervened. Tony blinked. "But that's my job, Ric." "Not *here* it isn't," the older man growled. "Just call the matches, Schiavone." "Well, *okay*, but I say no plugs kinda defeats the purpose of having us here," Tony shrugged. "In any event, the action begins next with some incredible cruiserweight competition! Edward Coyote and Aron Scythe, here on Fight Scene! Don't go away." ----------------------------------------------------------------- The parched sands of Tatooine were the backdrop of a truly grueling battle. The hums and crashes of swinging lightsabres could be heard as the camera panned down to a pair of robed warriors, caught in a duel that was nothing less than a struggle for life and death. One was an imposing bearded man, the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. The other was a cloaked figure in black, only the crimson markings on his face reveal his identity as the infamous Sith warrior, Darth Maul. Both fighters strained to parry and dodge the intense strikes, only their agility separating them from certain death. After a final flurry of swings, both combatants staggered away from each other, exhausted and breathing heavily underneath Tatooine's burning sun. Darth Maul extinguished his crimson energy blade and sat wearily down on a cropping of rocks. Qui-Gon also turned off his lightsabre and lowered his head, clutching his knees in exhaustion. Methodically, the Sith Lord withdrew a pair of large vials filled with a translucent, bubbling green liquid. He threw one nonchalantly to his weary opponent, who easily caught it. Qui-Gon watched as Darth Maul unfastened the cap and quaffed the liquid. Maintaining a steady gaze upon the Sith Lord, he, too, then opened the vial and began drinking the liquid. The Jedi finished his drink and then wiped his mouth. He nodded slightly at Darth Maul, seeming rather impressed. "That... was a rather refreshing beverage." "And the *most* beneficial aspect, Jedi," the Sith warrior growled, "Is that we each just made a painless 500 credits apiece." Qui-Gon nodded mutely, gripped his lightsabre, and re- activated it. "Shall we have at it then?" Darth Maul hopped up onto his boulder and withdrew his energy blade as well. "Indeed." The two warriors continued their battle with renewed vigor as a stylized "MD" suddenly materialized on the screen. Mountain Dew! It's Sith-o-riffic. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Fight Scene returned as "Born to be Wild" brought a focused Edward Coyote out to the ring. Colley Cujo Dogstar trailed behind him, happily playing to the enthusiastic fans by the rampway. The large Road Rover was dressed casually in an untucked Fubu jersey as he and his fellow Team Foxfire teammate entered the ring. "Welcome back, folks!" Tony enthused in a strangely oily manner. "Colley has returned this week after an unfortunate illness struck him during the 3A's stay in Mainframe. It's good to see this 3A star back tonight." "Yes, his 'unfortunate illness'. Don't forget that it came at the hands of some food poisoning, courtesy of the one and only Nav the Destroyer," Ric added. "In any case, its good to see him back," Cole finished. "Especially since Colley is just in time to cheer on his partner Edward, who's making his wrestling debut tonight." The announcers then paused as "2000 Lightyears Away" fired up, and Aron Scythe walked down the rampway, seeming more than a bit intimidated by the heavily armed guards who took the place of the usual safety rails. This time only Anne Brandies was accompanying him to ringside, and even she veered away from Aron about halfway down the rampway, and began heading the direction of the announcer's booth. "It also looks like we have yet another guest commentator joining us tonight... fortunately, one who will be a bit easier on this Nature Boy's eyes," Ric grinned as Anne settled down at a chair beside Cole. "So, how you feeling after that stay in the mental ward, Ric? Oh, and how's US Champ David doing?" Anne replied with a venomous smile. Ric's grin promptly faded as he began to quietly sulk. "It's nice to see you too, Miss Brandies," Cole said, his expression either completely deadpan or completely serious. Colley lounged casually against the ropes as he howled into the mic. "KONAN COUNTRY!" Colley bellowed to a round of cheers, "WILDPACK TWO-KAY IS IN THA HOUSE! Howl if ya hear me!" "He got the town right this time, I'll give the kid that," Ric noted with a slight nod. "You know, Colley's quite rare in the 3A," Anne informed. "I mean, he's a Road Rovers avatar, and everybody knows that the Road Rover 'toon lacks something very important that you usually need to create fan fiction." "And what's that?" Tony asked. "Fans." EDWARD COYOTE (/w Colley Dogstar) vs. ARON SCYTHE (/w Anne Brandies) "And on that note, this contest begins!" Tony exclaimed as the bell rang, and the two lightweights grappled. "Edward's starting off with a strong offense! Full arm drag and twist by Edward!" "*Armbar*, Schiavone. It's an *armbar*...." Ric growled. Aron easily rolled out of it and sent Edward to the mat with a martial arts throw. "Now Scythe, cinching in a Head Scissors on the Coyote," Cole called. "The Psycho Nerd maintains control, pulls Edward back up and whips him into the ropes! Aron follows up with a clothesline..." "And Edward makes a narrow escape with a baseball slide!" Tony finished. Edward then followed up with a simple front kick, which Aron easily grabbed. "The Psycho Nerd seems to have his opponent in a bind... or not," Ric corrected himself, as Edward sprang up and delivered a solid spin kick to the side of Aron's head. Edward then confidently continued his attack, binding the Psycho Nerd up in a pump handle slam. "Edward goes for the pin... but only s two-count! Still, Edward is definitely putting on a very impressive performance tonight!" Cole announced. " I wouldn't necessarily say that. He's making a huge green mistake right now," Ric noted as he watched Edward take the time to jeer at some of the more rowdy fans at ringside, thereby giving Aron the opportunity to shake the cobwebs out. Edward turned around in time to receive a solid elbow from Aron, followed by a quick European uppercut. The Psycho Nerd followed up by cinching Edward's arms and whipping him back into a double underhook suplex. "And an incredible offensive flurry from Aron Scythe!" Tony called as the amazing string of maneuvers took place in the ring. "You don't know the name of even *one* of those moves, do you?" Ric asked no one in particular. Michael fortunately continued the commentary, so no one *could* answer. "And Aron continues his offensive streak with an Irish whip into the corner!" Edward attempted to stagger away from the turnbuckle, but Aron simply leapt and attempted a hurricanrana. "Aron goes for a high-flying maneuver, and... no, Edward grabs him in mid air and makes a mad dash into the center of the ring! Aron's fighting it, but... no, there's Edward with the running power bomb!" Ric announced breathlessly. Edward flipped over while maintaining his hold, bridging into a pinning combination, but the Psycho Nerd managed to squirm out at two. "This is the just the kind of incredible excitement we've to come to expect from the 3A! Unfortunately, we need to take a break..." Tony called out over the action. "What?! No we don't!" Ric protested. "But the cameras *will* be rolling, so don't go away," Cole said uneasily as the scene faded to black. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The beginning rock chords of the theme of the opening of "Hokuto No Ken" began as a brawny young punk leapt from a raised ledge onto the sidewalk below. "Heya, guys and dolls! This is Kim Zee, master of Jet Kwan Do, here. Ever wanted to be an uber-bad ass ki wielding martial artist, but just don't have the time *or* a handy-dandy post apocalyptic world to come from?" Kim asked, as the shot cut to another camera's point of view. Kim then dramatically thrust a pair of gloves and a jacket into the shot. "Then you need...*KIM ZEE ACTION WEAR*!" He proclaimed, voice full of reverb. "It'll give you the power of *OOOOOOOH!*" Kim was then interrupted by a formal, scientific-sounding voice. "Kinetic luminescent polymers make it all possible." The camera then cut to a shot of a young kid with some neon green gloves waving his hands slowly and creating a nifty, shimmering after-image effect. "That's right, science guy!" Kim agreed. "These Kim Zee gloves let anyone do the Bruce Lee Hand Thingy! (TM)" The camera then showed a rather doughy man in a gold jump suit moving and posing. Each movement caused his attire to glow in synch with his actions. "Even the most out of shape doof off the street can look like a chi powered warrior with Kim Zee Action Wear! Powered by the power of *OOOOOOOH!*" The formal announcer returned as the camera rested on a still shot of the Kim Zee Action Wear, both athletic gear and a more casual suit. "Kim Zee Action Wear also comes in fashions ready for wear on the street! Use with caution, may cause skin irritation. If symptoms persist, please consult your physician." ----------------------------------------------------------------- "Welcome back folks!" Tony greeted. "This fight is *really* taking its toll on these two young athletes." "Yes, those five straight minutes of grueling headlocks..." Ric muttered sourly. "Edward looks like he's ready to finish this, folks." Cole commented as Edward stood Aron up to drive a standing drop kick into his chest. "For once, you're right, Mikey" Ric noticed. "He's pulling the Psycho Nerd on over... this could be the set-up for his frog splash, the Howling Moon." Edward scaled the corner... and right when he stepped on the top turn-buckle, it erupted in a brief, fiery explosion. Edward was sent sailing and landed painfully on his side back in the middle of the ring! "Good heavens!" Cole cried out. "A freak explosion has caused Edward to tumble off of the turnbuckle!" "Freak accident?! The turnbuckle just *EXPLODED*, you moron! How the hell is that going to happen on its own?" Anne scolded. "You're right Anne, it *must* be the insane work of the Macho Man Randy Savage!" Tony exclaimed in fear. "*No!* Isn't it obvious? It's Nav up to his usual...GAH!" Ric grumbled in frustration. "In any case, for a smart kid like Aron, this should be all the opportunity he needs." "Scythe is back on his feet," Cole called. "He seems to be... good heavens, he's going to try to climb one of the turnbuckles?! After what happened to Edward? That's not a very safe move at all!" "Nerdboy is nobody's fool," the largely silent Anne suddenly cut in. Aron quickly put pressure on the top turnbuckle, then flinched back. Only after he'd seen that it was safe did he scale the top turnbuckle. "And... there it is, the Shooting Star Press!" Tony called triumphantly. "*Stardust Press*," Ric corrected irritably. Aron landed solidly on the injured Edward, and easily secured the pinfall victory. After the final bell, Colley and Anne Brandies quickly entered the ring to help out their respective charges. Unheard over Green Day's "2000 Lightyears Away" and the crowds, a devilish smirk could be seen on Anne's face as snapped off a quick jeer to Colley. The massive Road Rover simply snarled bitterly at the Hell Maiden as he carefully guided the wounded Edward out of the ring. "It looks like Miss Brandies had some choice words for those two guys," Cole noticed. "Yes, Michael, she did," Ric replied flatly and reflexively. The cheery Japanese pop sounds of the Sailor Stars Song then cued up over the speakers, announcing the presence of Lord Thinker. As usual, the young man happily waded through the crowd to make his way to the ring. He then rolled nimbly into the ring and perched on one of the turnbuckles as the opening theme to the Tenchi Muyo TV show brought in Adam Chris Leigh, who was greeted with a thunderous round of jeers. Adam came down in his usual traditional Juraian battle gear, but also had his wild brown hair bound back into an extremely odd-looking ponytail. Imperiously, he took the mic to address the capacity crowd. "I'll get to you in a moment, Tinker Gnome," Leigh dismissed, smirking at Lord Thinker on the turnbuckle. Then, he turned in the direction he suspected the nearest camera to be, and began speaking earnestly to the gathered fans. "You know, it's sad when all the Moonies of the Multiverse have to look up to as their champions are a gun-toting furball and a blatant Anti-Moonie. They need - they *deserve*-- a *true* Moon Kingdom Champion. Someone handsome, strong, brave, cheerful, trustworthy, clean, punctual, et cetera. Someone... who's the kid of Sailor Pluto! Someone..." ACL paused to smile confidently into the camera "Why, someone like me!" Fortunately, the bell sounded at that precise moment, and Thinker hopped off the turnbuckle to advance on the smarmy Adam Leigh. LORD THINKER vs ADAM CHRIS LEIGH [Winner faces Wolf for the Moon Kingdom Championship on the next Fight Scene] "Leigh may be running his mouth, but he's also ready to fight!" Ric called appreciatively as ACL wasted no time in whirling around and beginning to pound away at Thinker. "ACL, sending Thinker into the ropes... No! A reversal by Lord Thinker! Leigh goes into the ropes, and gets taken up and over by an impressive martial-arts takedown!" "That's a monkey flip throw, you hack!" Ric half-shouted at the somehow oblivious Schiavone. "ACL quickly back up to his feet, and unleashing some brutal kicks on the downed Thinker. However... Thinker seems to be almost effortlessly rolling with the blows... ACL looks very frustrated!" Michael called. "Good plan to tire Leigh out, though, making him come after him," Ric noted as Thinker continued his tumbling. "ACL's frustrated attempts continue... and Thinker finally rolls in and sends him to the mat with a leg sweep!" Tony said. "The Incoherent One kicks back up... and a flip kick to ACL, with *authority*!" Lord Thinker continued his offense by springing off the middle rope to attempt a moonsault, but instead landed squarely onto ACL's upraised knees. "Adam's back to his feet now, and he's working on the legs of Lord Thinker, driving a series of punishing knees into them!" Michael announced. ACL paused in his assault to grin with intense smarm to the booing crowd. Finally, he attempted a very relaxed pin, arrogantly placing his foot on top of his chest and drawing his Master Key Sword dramatically. "One... two... and Lord Thinker is up! He hooks ACL's leg, and Flo-Bee boy goes down to the mat!" Ric cheered. "Really... those arrogant covers, the bad hair, the whole *egotistical* attitude of this Adam Chris Leigh... it reminds me of someone, but I just can't put my finger on it! Any ideas, guys?" Tony suddenly asked. Michael and Ric eyed each other for a moment, then managed to keep their faces perfectly straight as they replied. "Nope." "Not a one." Thinker then pressed his advantage by getting back up... and staggering wildly about the ring. "Um... did Thinker have a few before the match?" Cole asked. "Nope, he's setting ACL up for some Drunken Fist action!" Ric smirked. "Adam closes in for a forceful spinning backhand, and... Thinker apparently just tripped away from it, and... " Tony paused in confusion. "And nails Adam with a solid back heel kick to the stomach, yes," Ric said, a sardonic smile still on his face. "Thinker is hitting Leigh with an absolute barrage of punches and kicks... I'm not sure what to call them! Thinker's landing forearm shots, several spin kicks..." Cole watched on in fascination as the Incoherent One kept ACL both bewildered and in pain. "Adam Chris Leigh staggers to one knee, and Thinker is... hopping on ACL's shoulders. Leigh struggles back to his feet, and... flying head scissors by Thinker! Oh my, what a move!" Tony announced with beautifully faked enthusiasm. "Lord T drives an elbow into the small of Leigh's back... and here it is! Thinker's setting ACL up for the Mindbender!" Flair called with growing excitement that mirrored the crowd's. But just as Thinker had hefted ACL's body up to his shoulders, Thinker suddenly buckled over, and dropped ACL back to the mat. "The hell was that?" Ric asked in confusion. "If I didn't know better, I'd guess that someone just punched him in the stomach," Cole replied in confusion. "But Leigh couldn't have *possibly*..." "And now, look at Thinker reeling in the ring! ACL's powers must be truly amazing for him to be able to do *this* much damage when he's nearly unconscious and lying on the mat several feet away!" Tony proclaimed. Ric stared at Tony in disbelief. "How can you *say* stuff like that with a straight face?" Thinker was still flailing back from the unseen assault, trying to roll with the blows as best he could. Finally, a barrage of rapid energy bursts erupted around him, throwing him forcefully back into the ropes. "Thinker has been taking a tremendous beating here, folks... while Adam Chris Leigh has been recovering from his!" Cole exclaimed as Adam pulled himself back to his feet and took notice of Thinker's barely-standing form edging away from the ropes. With a burst of speed, the self-proclaimed Juraian drove his superkick finisher, the Juraian Spike, into Lord Thinker's jaw. Three seconds later, Adam had gained both the victory and a shot at the Moon Kingdom title at the next Fight Scene. "Leigh has the title shot next week, and Thinker's literally a heap on the mat." Tony notes with concern. "And three guesses who the culprit is," Ric added with a shrewd shake of his head. To almost no one's surprise (well, save Tony's), the Light God Taruchi materialized outside of the ring, pretentiously tugging at his sparkling robe before vanishing once more. "That's one messed up deity," Cole stated sadly. He then noticed a petite, unfamiliar catgirl leap over the railing, and quickly dash towards the ring. "Hello? Who's she?" The white and grey striped semi-furry slipped under the ropes and onto the mat, then knelt down next to the fallen Thinker. She pulled out some salves and bandages from her belt pouch and carefully began tending to his wounds. Thinker yelped reflexively as she daubed an antiseptic onto his leg. The catgirl then paused abruptly, and their eyes met shyly. After a moment of silence, Thinker blushed in embarrassment and speaks up. "Oh! Ummm... hello," Thinker said, attempting to sit back up. It was then that he realized that his translator's chain had snapped during the fight. He blushed as he realized how embarrassing it would be to try and express anything coherently to the girl other than the simplest phrases. "Hello, Mr. Thinker!" the catgirl replied as she placed a clawed hand on his stomach. "Sojourn raised requests, keeps really its ascent from the repaired piedino!" Thinker suddenly smiled beatifically. She... she spoke his native language! However, his smile was quickly replaced by a wince as he steadied himself, and tried to get to his feet. "This is repaired to the expensive outpost therefore like other things," he said ruefully. He then tilted his head and looked up at the girl, smiling. "Thanks, pleasant lady." "A problem is not true." She nervously returned the smile as she wrapped up Thinker's leg, then helped the young man up. "They know my name, but they have elasticity of the payment in advance to see," Thinker wondered as she guided him to the ropes. "Who are you?" "Me?" The two made their way to the mat, and the catgirl stepped away as security approached her. "My name is SnowTygra and must hour to execute itself! You see around?" "Sure!" Thinker nodded with a rosy blush as he adjusted his glasses. "Care of catch, you!" "I will!" SnowTygra cheerily called back, then vaulted back over the railing and vanished into the audience. "Either of you guys know *half* of what the heck they just said?" Tony inquired. "Hmm..." Ric nodded sagely. "That Thinker kid may have just met his match, guys." "I guess it shows that love isn't only blind, but incoherent as well," Cole added with a happy sigh. Beastie Boys' "Body Movin'" cued up, and brought out the odd couple that comprised the Mighty Mobian Weenies. Both Felix Xavier Jinx and Sir Kain were wearing over-sized jerseys and strutting to the ring. "This next bout is a tag team match that brings us two underdog teams, gentlemen," Tony announced. "The winner here will go on to Interslam." "Yeah...one of these teams are about to get a title shot for the tag team belts," Cole added. "Kinda frightening, when you think about these guys," Ric intervened. "They started out as nobodies in the singles division, but all managed to pull it together once they had a partner." Another Beastie Boys' song, "Sabotage", cued up at about the same time to bring out the veteran duo of Myles Buchanan and Craig Vincent, the Graviton Express. MIGHTY MOBIAN WEENIES vs GRAVITON EXPRESS Tag Team Semi-Finals Match Jinx and Myles started the match, circling each other once before tying up. "Buchanan taking the early advantage as he sends the royal babysitter into the corner... you really have to admire the amazing courage of these midget wrestlers in taking on full-sized opponents!" Tony exclaimed. "Tony, we told you, he really *is* a -" Ric began to shout, before he paused, heaved an exasperated sigh, and fell silent. "Robby's calling for a clean break, but Jinx sends quick palm strike into Myles... and if I didn't know better, I'd almost say it was electrified!" Cole exclaimed. "Check out the metal plating on his gloves, Mikey," Ric pointed out. "If those are Jinx's latest gadget, chances are throwing off electric shock is the *least* of what they can do!" Felix continued to put his new brass-plated gloves to work, scoring a series of sharp left hands, then pausing to show off some fancy footwork before belting Myles with a final right hook that sent the Mousse-like Irishman to the mat. "Jinx forcing Buchanan back into the corner for one last knee lift... and the tag is made to Sir Kain!" Tony announced. "Kain with a snapmare take down, into a sleeperhold," Cole said. The near-sighted Irishman, however, simply worked his way back to his feet and then dropped straight back, crushing the black cat! Ric could only shake his head in disapproval. "When are kids going to learn that sleeperholds only work if you're Roddy Piper?" "Myles rolls back to his feet, and now he's absolutely putting the boots to Sir Kain! Now the Irishman drags Kain to his feet... and a body slam, with authority, in the hostile corner!" Tony called. "The tag is made to Vincent, and he vaults over the ropes to continue the punishment with a guillotine legdrop!" "Craig pulls Kain up to his feet and drives him back down with a double ax handle, followed by a hard gut-wrench suplex. Lateral press... Kain kicks out at two!" Cole continued the commentary. "Sir Kain sits up and drives in a low elbow, then starts using those boxing skills to hammer away at Vincent," Ric said. "But Vincent returns with a hard backhand that sends the boxing cat reeling!" Tony finished. "Vincent whips Kain into the ropes, telegraphs a back drop... but Kain hops over his human opponent, sits on his shoulders hammers a few fists in... and wraps Vincent up in a victory roll! One... two... and Vincent kicks out!" "And Craig stumbles back to his corner to tag in Myles to face off with the red-hot Sir Kain!" Cole exclaimed. The nearsighted Irish martial artist and the boxing Knight of Mobius stared each other down, then Sir Kain quickly dived in to the attack. "Kain jabs in with a few powerful hooks, but Myles seems to be dodging easily... and he grabs Kain's arm on the third strike, and sends him to the mat with an aikido throw!" Ric announced. Buchanan immediately clamped on a half nelson/chicken wing submission hold combination. Sir Kain managed to struggle back to his feet, but the Irishman merely reached a long leg in front of the much shorter furry and flung him back down to the mat. "Myles follows up by binding up both of Kain's arms, and... oh my *goodness*! Brutal surfboard submission move by Buchanan!" Tony called. Robby hovered in to check on Sir Kain, as Felix began rubbing his brass gauntlets together. Craig clearly saw what Jinx was trying to do and sprang from his corner. The robo-ref turned to force Vincent back, just as Felix released a massive electrical blast. "Good *LORD*!" Ric exclaimed as the electrical shockwave ripped through the ring. "Felix just took out Myles, his partner, *and* the Robo-ref!" "Now, all four men are in the ring as Craig rushes the royal babysitter!" Cole announced enthusiastically. "Felix is trying repeated electric blasts with his gauntlets, but they seem to just be rolling off of Craig's armored Kevlar trenchcoat!" Ric nodded. "Instead, Craig's diving in to the attack... shin kick square into Jinx's stomach, followed up with a DDT!" Meanwhile, Myles was attempting to dispatch the weakened Sir Kain with a power bomb, but the boxing cat instead smashed a few punches into Buchanan's face in mid-move, grabbed his head, and dropped him into a facebuster. Kain then quickly made the cover...and blinked nervously over to the corner, where Robby was still sputtering and twitching from the electrical surge. "And Craig pulls Sir Kain away by his headgear, breaking the pin *just in time*!" Tony announced. "Just in time to break a six-count, maybe..." Ric grumbled. Craig spun the black cat around and landed an elbow to the side of his head, then whipped him into the ropes. "Craig's got a firm hold on Sir Kain, and Myles is moving into position... this could be it!" Cole said. Graviton Express then flawlessly executed their tandem finisher, dropping Sir Kain with the reverse neckbreaker combo known as the Graviton Cannon. Robby had recovered just in time to see Myles cover the unconscious black cat, and quickly counted the pin fall. "Well, through a mixture of good luck and incredible talent, the two young men known as Graviton Express have secured their title shot at Interslam and---great Scott! Someone's flying in from behind the stands!" Tony exclaimed as a black clad youth swooped in behind Craig Vincent and lands a brutal flying roundhouse to the side of his head!" "Oh my! That's Alex Misamoto! And whenever Shadow shows up--" Cole exclaimed. "Silhouette is sure to follow! And there's Samantha now!" Ric shouted as Samantha broke from the crowd and into the ring. She immediately went to work on Myles in one corner, while Alex unleashed a flurry of punches onto Craig Vincent. "Shadow's lifted Craig up... and *down* into the Shadow's Justice!" Tony yelled as the young ninja dropped the young gunman headfirst into the mat. "Not to sure what to make of this," Ric wondered out loud. "I've never seen these two so aggress--GYAH!" With a black aura surrounding her palm, Samantha unleashes her Big Ass Blast into the cornered Myles from point blank range. "Shadow and Silhouette are departing, leaving Graviton Express in ruins in the ring. What about their big title shot!?" Tony protested in an attempt to milk the strange event for suspense, and an indirect plug. "I have no idea what has gotten into those two," Cole began to ponder. Just then the familiar sirens of an ambulance sounded. Moment's later, a paramedic van drove up by the rampway. It stopped, the doors opened... and out stepped a disgruntled Jim Ross, followed by Mike Tenay, still in his hospital gown. A wide smile beamed across his Ric's face as his two usual colleagues approached. "JR! Umm... hi," Cole welcomed nervously. "I was just tending to things while you were away...'Show must go on' and all that." "Michael, am I gonna have to kick you in the jimmy again?" JR growled at him in warning. "No sir," Cole sulked off back up the rampway. Next, JR and Tenay were left to confront Tony Schiavone, who merely smiled smugly at up at the two injured announcers. "Things changed while you were gone, Jim. Once again, you see that there is nothing you possess that I cannot take away." Jim's only reply was to casually adjust his watch... and suddenly begin glowing dangerously with raw power! Tony briefly gawked at the apparently superpowerful announcer before turning and fleeing up the rampway. Tenay and Ric both gave JR utterly baffled looks. Looking equally stunned, JR removed his jacket and looked at the label inside. "Mah God! This Kim Zee line of clothing really works!" "Guys!" Ric gave a heartfelt sigh as Tenay and JR quickly scrambled into their usual seats. "You're back! I can't thank you enough!" "Don't thank me yet. There's still much left to settle between Schiavone and I," JR replied with incongruous grimness. "Whatever, JR," Ric dismissed. "I'm just happy to have you two back." "Really?" an amazed Tenay replied as he put on his headset. "You really missed me at the announcing booth?" Ric smiled warmly at the somewhat nerdy announcer. "Not really, but anything's better than Cole and Tony." Tenay sighed sadly. "That's what I thought." JR simply made a few final adjustments to his headset before he began announcing. "Mike Tenay and I just got back, so don't you go away now! Fight Scene will return for our Four Corners main event right after this!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene opens to show an incredibly beautiful grassy, hilly landscape, with a simple dirt path cutting through it. Besides that dirt path sits what appears to be a pay videophone. We see a young boy with spiky black hair, a distinctive red cap, and a Pikachu riding upon his shoulder - obviously, Ash Ketchum of the Pokemon anime - walk onto the scene, Misty and Brock trailing close behind as usual. The boy picks up the phone, and begins dialing.] MISTY: Ash, do we *really* have to stop for *another* call? BROCK: Yeah, we really need to get a move on if we're going to make it to the next town by tonight. ASH: Just a quick call, guys! I just wanna make sure that the Professor got that Rattata I caught last night, okay? MISTY [sighs]: All right, Ash, but you'd better make this quick... ASH: All right, all right! Just let me check on Rattata, and then we'll go! [During Misty and Ash's exchange, the videophone has been ringing. Finally, the call is answered, and we see a shot of Professor Oak's lab in Pallet Town on the videophone's screen. The Professor has a small Rattata perched in his labcoat's pocket, and an unusually stern look on his face. Both the Professor and the pokemon are examining a long sheet of paper that appears to be some kind of computer printout.] ASH: Hello, Professor! PROF. OAK [suddenly looking up]: Oh, hello, Ash. As usual, your timing is impeccable. ASH: Yeah, I was just calling to check on Rattata, but I can see on the monitor that he's just fine! RATTATA: Ratatat! PROF. OAK: Oh, yes, Ash, this Rattata you've caught is an exceptionally good-natured little fellow, much more pleasant than those monstrous Raticates my grandson Gary keeps sending me. I shudder to think what kind of pokemon he's using to *catch* those things... ASH [suddenly much, much less cheerful]: Uh-huh... PROF. OAK: ... but, anyway, I just received my phone bill and was taking a quick look over it. It's *three times* what it should be! As much as I like to hear from you, Ash, if you're going to insist on calling me long distance so often, you're going to *have* to start paying for the calls yourself. ASH: ... myself? But Professor, how am I supposed to do that? PROF. OAK: I don't know! Don't any of you people have jobs? [Ash, Misty, and Brock all exchange perplexed looks for a few minutes.] ASH: Sir, I'm ten years old... MISTY: I'm just eleven, and *someone* wrecked my bike... BROCK: I can't get a driver's license. They keep telling me I couldn't see to drive for some reason... [Ash, Misty, and the Professor (through the videophone's monitor) stare oddly at Brock for a few minutes, then continue on.] PROF. OAK: Well, be that as it may, I simply *can't* continue to pay these exorbitant long distance bills! If you can't pay for the calls yourself, Ash, then at *least* do what my grandson does, and dial 1-800-COLLECT! ASH: 1-800-COLLECT? PROF. OAK: That's right, Ash. Dialing 1-800-COLLECT can save you up to 44% on long distance calls on the Pokemon Island and up to 130 international locations, with no need for changing your phone company or signing up for one of those complicated calling plans. It's *perfect* for an on-the-go youngster like yourself! ASH: Gee, I dunno, Professor... [Right at that moment, a flashing red light appears on the side of the videophone.] MISTY: Looks like you've got an incoming call, Ash. ASH: Incoming call? Who's going to call a public telephone? BROCK: Well, hit the button and let's find out. ASH: Well, all right... hold on a moment, Professor! [Ash taps the flashing button, and the screen abruptly switches to a forest setting not unlike the one he himself is at. A snide child with burgundy, spiky hair then appears on the screen...] GARY: I'd listen to Gramps, Ash. Thanks to 1-800-COLLECT, I can afford to take the time to call you from Cinnabar Island and let you know that not *only* am I well on my way to my seventh badge, but that you're a loser, you'll never make it into the Pokemon League, and... what *was* that last thing... oh, yeah, you suck. Well, gotta run, bye! [Gary then waves and smiles incongruously into the camera as his feed abruptly switches off, the picture instead returning to the feed from Professor Oak's lab.] PROF. OAK: Yes, well, now that you've taken care of that, Ash... Ash? [The shot pulls back to a wider angle, that shows Misty and Brock looking on in mute sympathy as Ash, ego critically wounded, calmly slams his head onto the raised counter that the payphone rests on.] PROF. OAK [smiling obliviously]: My, my... apparently 1-800- COLLECT is an even more stunning deal than I thought! [As the shot pulls farther away, Pikachu mysteriously pops up in the foreground, holding up a placard with the 1-800-COLLECT logo on it. Pikachu then attempts to read the logo out to the audience...] PIKACHU: Pi pikachu pika pika pika pi. Pi chu, pi chu, pi*ka*! [Translation: 1-800-COLLECT. It's fast, it's easy, it saves.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- The All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku theme, "Happy Birthday to Me", could be heard coming to an end as Lynxara climbed into the ring, where the other three combatants for the final match were already waiting. "There's no love lost between any of these managers," Tenay observed. "Brisby's been a thorn in Pippkin's side through every scheme the zoot has attempted." "Dark Sonic's had problems with both Pippkin *and* Brisby," Ric added. "And we hardly need to explain Lynxara's bad blood with Dark Sonic to the 3A's fans," JR noted with concern. "In fact, it's been almost exactly two months since her author fell prey to that damned hedgehog's attack..." FOUR CORNERS MANAGER MATCH Lynxara, Pippkin, Jonathan Brisby, and Dark Sonic A series of rock-paper-scissors determines the first duo in the ring: Lynxara and Brisby. Team Foxfire's fearless leader preened his long blonde hair as he climbed through the ropes and approached the focused catgirl with an aura of smarm. "Would a 'cat and mouse' reference be too redundant at this point?" Ric pondered with a smirk. "It certainly would, Ric," JR scolded. "Yeah, you know you can come up with more original innuendo," Tenay chimed in. JR glared slightly at his colleague, then continued. "But in any case, Brisby's game looks like one that Lynxara wants no part of, as she returns his affections with a knife-edged chop!" "Two more chops knock Brisby back into the ropes, followed by Lynxie whipping Brisby into the opposite ropes," Ric announced. "Lynxie with a spin kick, and... Brisby *ducked*?!" "Lynxara appears to be doing her best here, but... not a single one of her moves is connecting! Brisby's agility is simply amazing!" Tenay called breathlessly. "Agility nothing... look at the outline of Brisby's body. See that crimson light? I'd say Johnny B is resorting to some kind of spell so he can keep up," JR pointed out. The Haste-powered Brisby then skidded to a stop in front of Lynxara and stomped her foot, eliciting an angry cry of pain from the feline. He quickly followed up with a maneuver that left the announcers temporarily at a loss for words. "Guys... did Brisby just hit Lynxara with a rip-off of Guile's Flash Kick?" Tenay asked. "Yes, yes he did," JR replied evenly. Ric sighed. "And are any of us really surprised at this point?" "No, no we aren't," JR replied evenly. Lynxara collapsed in the ropes from the rapid barrage, giving Brisby ample time to gloat at his two villainous rivals in the corners. "At least we can count to Brisby to run his mouth when he shouldn't... the mouse turns back to his opponent a second too late, and gets greeted with a hard drop to the snout!" Ric shouted enthusiastically. She followed up with a series of sidekicks and, with the aid of a handful of Brisby's hair, monkey-flipped him into Pippkin's corner. "Brisby is stumbling into the turnbuckle, and... oh, good lord, I think he may have just accidentally tagged in Pippkin!" Tenay called. The sinister zoot shot a bemused glance at Brisby, then entered the ring, tossing his top hat out to ringside. "Pippkin and Lynxara are circling one another, sizing each other up. Pippkin seems to be going to make the first move, and- -" JR suddenly fell silent, and both of his colleagues also seemed at a temporary loss for words at Pippkin's action. Pippkin's sole action in the ring was to gaze over contemptuously at Lynxara, then walk over to Dark Sonic's corner and tag him in. "Dark Sonic seems stunned... I can't blame him, *I'm* stunned!" Tenay breathed as Pippkin stepped through the ropes and into the corner next to his black-quilled rival. Dark Sonic briefly eyed the rabbit suspiciously, then turned to his attentions back to the disgruntled Lynxara with a lecherous, sadistic gleam in his eyes. "That hedgehog speed is really starting to pay off now, with Dark Sonic starting off with a *hard* shin kick to Lynxara's knee... now it's turning into a series of kicks, they're just too fast to call," Ric announced with a shake of his head. The spiny tyrant's punishment continued as he hoisted the injured catgirl up and crunched her leg against his own. "Dark Sonic is firmly in control now, *wrenching* the leg of fallen Lynxara while she's down." JR then paused in his commentary to wince and shudder. "And he's enjoying his advantage over the girl *entirely* too much." The enraged catgirl fortunately stopped Sonic's wandering hands with a sharp kick to his head with her free leg. An increasingly edgy Brisby snarled in frustration, while Pippkin looks on with detached interest. "Lynxara's back on her feet now, but she's clearly favoring her wounded leg," Tenay observed uncertainly. "She'll probably be doing well just to finish out this match in that condition... and Dark Sonic knows it, sharp Irish whip into the ropes!" She clearly stumbled as she was launched, bounced off... and yet, somehow, managed to get enough strength to leap up and perform a somewhat clumsy hurricanrana on the sinister hedgehog! "She's got him in a pinning combination... one... two... NO! Reversal by Dark Sonic, Robby is going to count the pin, and -" Ric broke off his commentary abruptly to take in a sharp, angry breath as Sonic, instead of making the cover, delivered a slap across Lynxara's face so violent that it left her spitting up blood. "... and at this point, I'm not sure if we're watching a wrestling match or a pit fight." JR nodded solemnly to Ric. "In any case, Lynxara's thoroughly enraged, but her swipes just won't connect from the position she's in. Robby appears to be trying to break Sonic's hold on her, and if I didn't know better, I'd almost say our Robo-ref was *angry*..." "Not that it matters... Dark Sonic is outright ignoring the robo-ref as he goes for a blatant chokehold on his opponent!" Tenay exclaimed. "And... mah God, that may not be such a smart move on Sonic's part, it looks like Robby's programming may have been updated agin!" JR announced. Sure enough, the Robo-Ref's eyes were flaring a slight silver and humming as offensive programming locked deep within its CPU crackled to life. The little robo-ref then unleashed a focused repulsion blast that sent Dark Sonic flying off of the battered catgirl and into the ropes... and, incidentally, caused Dark Sonic to accidently tag Brisby's arm in the process. Dark Sonic flew into a truly fearsome rage as he grabbed the hapless robo-ref by its shoulders, while Brisby vaulted nimbly over the ropes and summoned forth his crimson katana from his amulet. "Brisby seems confident as he goes on the attack, ripping into Sonic with a fast slash that lets Robby get to safety!" Tenay announced. "Sonic staggers back, just in time to be on the receiving end of a solid spin kick from Lynxara!" "Nowhere to go, and no one to turn to for help... it looks like quill-boy's the one in a world of hurt now," Ric noted with a slight grin. In the ring, Ric's words were proving true. Brisby kept up the double-team, closing in and braining Dark Sonic with the pommel of his sword, a move that set the hedgehog up perfectly for Lynxara to grab Dark Sonic and drop him with a Russian leg sweep. Pippkin remained in his corner throughout Brisby and Lynxara's assault, expression one of casual disinterest, his only action being to discard his elegant overcoat. "Now Brisby's usin' his magic to pull a steel chair in from ringside... kind of comforting to see people sticking to the classics, despite the superpowers," JR noted. Lynxara nodded to Brisby as the chair landed and set itself up in the ring, then whipped Dark Sonic into the ropes "Drop toehold by Lynxara... sending Sonic facefirst onto that steel chair!" Tenay cheered from his seat. "Dark Sonic is down and *out*!" Lynxara leapt up victoriously, and Jonathan glomped her merrily from behind in celebration. The catgirl paused momentarily, rolled her eyes, then pummeled the over-affectionate mouse affections with a low hammer punch. "I think Brisby just forgot that's all fair in love and wrestling," JR noted dryly. "Sonic may be down, but the catgirl knows who she has to pin to get the victory," Ric added with a nod. "Lynxara's spinning Brisby around, and... Cat's Cradle DDT!" Robby began to deliver the count, but at two Pippkin suddenly materialized a tendril of red energy that ensnared Lynxara and violently yanked her into her corner. "Pippkin's just... he just tagged Lynxara out! He's going to fight!" Tenay exclaimed in surprise as Pippkin entered the ring to face Brisby and Dark Sonic. The diabolical zoot cooly approaches the middle of the ring and methodically pulled off his gloves, then threw them down. "Pippkin's actually taken up a kind of boxing stance, and seems quite ready to take on Brisby and Sonic *both*," JR announced speculatively. "Well, after standing around all match, he'll definitely be the freshest fighter in the ring," Ric noted. "Brisby and Sonic are leaping to the attack, and battering Pippkin back into the ropes! I'd say the rabbit's out of his element in the ring, and -" Tenay stopped mid-sentence as, abruptly, Dark Sonic was sent sailing away from Pippkin and into the middle of the ring, clutching his bleeding chest. Brisby, too, was knocked away and staggers back, staring in shock at his opponent. "MAH GOD... where'd Pippkin get that sword from?!" JR exclaimed, as the large steel and blue crystal blade in Pippkin's hands became visible. "And is it just me, or has the Dark Quik Bunny suddenly gotten a lot... bigger?" Ric asked. "Pippkin's on the offensive now, slashing away at Brisby with... I knew it! I knew I recognized that sword! Pippkin's wielding Soldier Lucifer's Cryosword!" Tenay exclaimed. "Then that would mean... oh, good lord," JR stopped and shook his head before returning to calling the match. "Brisby's managing to parry, but he's reeling against the ropes. Pippkin seems to be going for some kind of overhead swing... no, his sword just disappeared!" Pippkin grinned as he pulled his arms back forward, revealing the nasty-looking assault rifle that had taken the place of his blade. Brisby barely had enough time to pull up a shield spell before a volley of bullets slammed into him and sent him crashing outside the ring! Pippkin dropped the rifle rather distastefully to the mat, then turned his attentions to Lynxara. With a casual turn of his wrist, he lets sail a Hate Chain that wrapped around the catgirl, and then reeled her in with a powerful pull. "Pippkin sets her up with a knee lift and lifts her up onto his shoulders," Ric's eyes narrowed a bit as he watched Pippkin then execute his finishing maneuver. "And there it is... the *Nova Driver*." The variant of the Death Valley/Spicolli Driver dropped Lynxara flat on her back as Pippkin followed through by driving his elbow into her chest. "Pippkin hooks the leg, Robby goes for the count... and easy pinfall victory by Pippkin," Tenay said with a disgusted sigh. "It looks like our not-so-mysterious host is about to reveal himself," JR growled bitterly. The now-massive Pippkin was beaming with pride as he began to unfasten the laces on the back of his head. The man underneath the mask then removed Pippkin's head, revealing the pale grey skin and steel blue eyes of Soldier Lucifer. Robby hovered next to him and narrowed his optics at the confident warrior, then shook his head and raised 'Soldier Pippkin's' hand in victory. "The damned rabbit did it again," Ric groaned. "No outside interference was allowed," Tenay reminded, "but as Pippkin's host, Soldier Lucifer technically *was* Pippkin..." "That's dirty pool, even if it is *technically* legal!" JR protested. JR seemed ready to say more, but was interrupted by an audible hum that seemed to be coming from the tent at the top of the rampway. Seconds later, a beam of crackling electricity ripped from the opening and down the ramp to strike the still- recovering Brisby! Jonathan was barely able to summon enough mystical strength to absorb the brunt of the lightning bolt before collapsing into a charred heap at the base of the rampway. "MAH GOD! Brisby could have been roasted alive!" JR exclaimed. "An attack that ruthless... you don't think it could have been..." Tenay trailed off questioningly. "Of course it is! A time like this is the *best* time for a surprise attack!" Ric replied with authority. Not surprisingly, and to a solid stream of boos, Nav the Destroyer then emerged from the tent to stride methodically down the ramp, holding a smoking, Quake-style lightning gun. It was almost unnoticeable when one of the royal guards who were substituting for the safety rail suddenly leapt up onto the rampway behind Nav and *brained* the anti-Moonie across the head with his tetsubo! The soldier then ripped off his helm to reveal the familiar brown hair and ponytail of David Kronos! "My stars... That's Star Mech!" JR declared. "And he is mad as *hell!*" "I'd say! He was prepared for this, and he's hammering away at Nav with a vengeance! This has no doubt been stewing ever since the Destroyer began attacking his team..." Tenay added ominously. Nav managed to block Kronos' massive metal club and rammed the butt of his rifle into the former Moon King's gut. Both men dropped their respective weapons and quickly began to throttle each other on the rampway. After a few moments of fierce scuffling, Kronos knocked the Destroyer away with a haymaker and drew his Crescent Shooter, just as Nav rolled on the ground and fluidly drew out his Desert Eagle pistol. "Kronos and Nav are locked in a classic John Woo stand off, folks," JR breathed as the two rivals stood their ground. The standoff was, however, never fully resolved, as Soldier Lucifer picked that moment to angrily charge up the rampway and clothesline Star Mech from behind. "Soldier Lucifer, on the other hand, isn't big on dramatics," Ric deadpanned. "Nav makes a strategic withdrawal as Kronos and Lucifer duke it out," Tenay observed. "That's not gonna be an option at Interslam," Ric noted with a thoughtful grin. Tenay simply nodded, and continued his commentary. "Kronos blocks a punch... and whips the butt of the Crescent Shooter across Lucifer's face!" "Kronos follows with a low mule kick... and into the STAR MECH STUNNER!" JR proclaimed as Star Mech drove Soldier Lucifer down to into the metal ramp. "And look at Pippkin's head wince in the ring," Ric snickered as the zoot reacted in pain to Kronos' assault. "Shouldn't have traded in that armor for a three-piece suit!" "Pandemonium is raining both in and out of the ring now, folks!" Tenay declared, right as he noticed something else back in the ring. "Oh no..." "Gawd, no, Sonic's back up and headin' towards Lynxara, and she's *still* out cold," JR groaned bitterly. The fiendish hedgehog was nodding to himself with a feral grin as he approached the catgirl on the floor. He froze, however, as a bitter female voice rung out from behind him. "Hello, little bro'." was all that was heard before a pink blur slammed into the back of Dark Sonic. "Sonya's come in to make the save! Whooo!" Ric cheered as the angry pink hedgehog clamped on the Labyrinth and sent her villainous brother flailing to the mat. "Unfortunately it looks like she's about to get some unwanted guests," JR noted solemnly as Foxglove and Dark Starr made their way out onto the ramp. Curiously enough, though, Kefkain and Joseph dashed in front of them, and seemed to be barring their way. "Kefkain's... *stopping* them?!" Tenay exclaimed in confusion. "What in the world..." Ric mused, just as Wolf and Agent Q broke from the tent and tackled the two young vampires. Both Commando Rodents readied their respective weapons (Wolf his adamantium claws, and Agent Q his staff) and prepared to confront the violet-cloaked pseudo-monk and the White Wolf... "Great heavens folks," JR shook his head in awe. "We've got absolute *chaos* here tonight! Even Goku's gonna be hard-pressed to break this slobberknocker up!" "And sadly, our time is almost up," Tenay nodded. "Isn't that always the way?" Ric interrupted wryly. JR smirked back at him. "You're damned lucky Schiavone isn't here now. But anyway, folks," JR continued as he turned towards the camera, "On behalf of everyone here on Fight Scene: This is Jim Ross, along with Mike Tenay and Ric Flair, and we'll see ya next time." "It's good to be back! Whoo!" Tenay cheered. "Don't you *ever* do that again," Ric scolded. ----------------------------------------------------------------- It took it's own time getting here, but here it is! Hopefully it was worth the wait. With luck, the road to Interslam should be chugging away at a regular pace in the future. We hope you enjoyed it, and we'll see you next time! -- Tim McLees "Believe I'm a bus, BOOP BOOP." -Alicia Ashby "I take no responsibility for my partner's inane catchphrases."