"Last week was a night of upsets in the 3A..." Michael Cole
began as a rock beat cued up behind a montage of last week's
Fight Scene.

     Sir Kain sat perched up on Colley Dogstar's shoulders,
hammering away with punches. He dropped him into a facebuster on
a metallic disk (provided courtesy of Felix Xavier Jinx) and
hooks the big canine's leg...
     "Colley hooks the leg and goes for the lateral press...
one... two... THREE!! *SIR KAIN* just took the victory for the
Mighty Mobian Weenies!!" Flair's voice cheered over the footage.
     
     Cut to the Soldiers of War/Graviton Express match-up. Myles
pummeled Soldier Lucifer with the Howling Wolf Blast. Seconds
later, Craig set T-Bone up on his shoulders and Myles
springboarded off of the top rope to bulldog T-Bone for the
victory.

     "We also saw the esculation of the war between 3A champion
David Kronos and Nav the Destroyer..." Cole added ominously.
The footage cut abruptly to the firebomb explosion, as Scarlet is
launched from the door of the Team Foxfire trailer to the ground,
engulfed in flames. The scene switches to Edward and Colley
throttling Nav, as Edward's voice ranted.
     "Next time when you feel like taking out a member
of Team Foxfire, boy, why don't you actually try fighting it out
with us in the *ring*... or are you *that* sure you'll get your
ass kicked?"

     "Nav's trap for Team Foxfire was only the beginning of
Nav's new and frighteningly more aggressive tactics..." Cole
continued as the montage switched to the hardcore Moon Knigdom
Title match-up.
     With sadistic glee, Nav activated a hovering, siren-like
device. The footage cut to Wolf as he slashed wildly, one hand
clutching the side of his head. Blood was clearly trickling from
his ultra-sensitive ears.
     "Oh gawd, that's dirty pool! Look at what it's doing!" JR's
voice was heard protesting.
     "Of course Nav would find a way to turn Wolf's super-
enhanced hearing against him..." Tenay's voice noted uneasily.
     Cut to clips of Nav's Bloodbath onto the stone arena floor.
     "That's to be expected, but this tactic is downright
diabolical!!" JR continued.

     "But with unexpected assistance..." Cole remarked, as the
unknown Aveh soldier shattered the device. "... and a miraculous
recovery Kyle 'Wolf' Hawkins overcame the grueling assault."
     Following a series of suplexes, Wolf methodically grabbed
the battered Destroyer and dropped him into his trademark
Brainbuster DDT for the victory. The intro closed with Wolf
standing at the base of the bleachers holding up his newly won
belt, as JR's voice proclaimed in the background:
     "MAH GOD... we have a *new* Moon Kingdom champion!!" 

Author Avatar Association presents...

FIGHT SCENE!

Battle.net, Mainframe

     The camera panned over the surreal (even by AAA standards)
landscape. The entire city seemed to hover, enclosed in a
strange, multi-colored sky. Streams of sky blue and red energy
poured from various sections of the city to the others. 
Vehicles zipped by as the hover-cam eventually panned to a domed
arena.
     Within the arena, the view scanned across the audience.
While the usual assortment of furries and humans were present,
they were also a great deal of alien creatures, humanoids with
odd, shiny skin, and robotic automatons of all shapes and sizes.
The most unusual of these robots where the geometrically shaped
Binomes, milling about by ring side, giving a final check to
everything before the event starts.
     The three announcers merely gazed across the audience, then
back at the odd stagehands that were examining the equipment at
ringside. A stout, cube-shaped Binome made the final adjustments
to the commentator's monitors, then looked up to them with proud
smile. It gave a confident thumbs up, and all three announcers
politely smiled and nodded their heads in thanks to it. The
Binome then crew wandered away to their posts while Jim Ross and
his associates settled into their seats.

     "And you thought the staff at the Gold Saucer was odd..."
Tenay joked to Ric.
     "Ummm...damn," was all Ric could say regarding his
surroundings.
     "We'd like to welcome all of you back to Fight Scene," JR
began, still not sure what to make of the current venue. "As you
can see we're in the wonderous, if not downright bizarre, virtual
realm of Mainframe."
     "The 3A dimension and Mainframe seemed like an unlikely
match, but the federation's trip to this dimension has definitely
been a fruitful one... a success due, no doubt, to several of the
3A's Avatars acting as goodwill ambassadors to a reality that is
truly like no other," Tenay nodded.
     "Ambassadors?" Ric dismissed with a smirk, "My guess is some
of the 3A stars just wanted to hang around with some of the
*lovely* young Sprites that dwell here."
     "Well, in any event, we've got this tape from what some of
our Avatars did in the week prior to this event..." JR
introduced.

     Footage of the glorious expanse of Mainframe played, as
Michael Cole's voice could be heard narrating. "Mainframe: A
computerized city, home to some of the most fantastic silicon-
based life forms in the multiverse.  This past week, it's also
been the host world of the Author Avatar Association... and the
3A's stars did not miss out on the opportunity to enjoy the
sights and sounds of this fascinating world."
     The footage shifted, showing the image of a massive Game
Cube descending to engulf a huge section of Mainframe's city.  A
tall, male sprite with distinctive blue skin and chrome hair,
Bob, ran to enter the cube, the camera following to show the
cube's insides.  The city's landscape had been transformed into a
jungle, currently the site of a Vietnam-style battle between two
unknown armies.  With a touch of the symbol on the left side of
his chest, the Sprite's costume shifted to a military uniform.   
     "The primary danger of living in Mainframe is the presence
of the Game Cubes, with enter the city at almost completely
random intervals.  Fortunately, the city has special Guardians on
hand to make sure that Mainframe is protected from the damage a
win by the User might cause," Michael continued, as the screen
showed pictures of Bob blasting away at 'enemy' troops, who 
disappeared into a puff of pixels once shot. 
     "Of course, sometimes these Games turn into arenas for
venting personal grudges..."  Michael's voice took on an ominous
tone, as two large, hovering, egg-shaped creatures decked out in
a laughable attempt at camouflage advanced 'stealthily' up behind
the distracted Guardian. "... but fortunately, new Moon Kingdom
Champion Wolf happened to be there, and able to lend this
particular Guardian a helping hand."  As Cole's voice cheerfully
finished, a brownish blur shot out from just behind the Guardian
to barrel into the hovering robots.  With a howl of vengeance,
Wolf promptly began tearing into the robot-like creatures, which
prompted a gentle smirk from Bob.
     "Other Avatars tried their hands at local pastimes,
particularly games of skill." This time, the footage was of a
futuristic-looking court, where an aged-looking sprite, Phong,
was batting a hoverdisk back and forth across the court with none
other than Adam Chris Leigh, resplendent in his Juraian battle
gear.  "However, with the locals, our Avatars quickly learned
*never* to judge a combatant by their physical appearance,"
Michael observed, to footage of the hoverdisc crashing at high
speed into Adam's temple.     
     The footage then shifted to another gratuitously impressive
panning shot of the Mainframe landscape, this time under a
breathtaking night sky.  "At night, Mainframe showed another
side, transforming into a city of romance," Michael continued on,
as the footage shifted to an image of Deb Lawson and Ankoku
holding hands among the data lakes and information trees of
Floating Point Park.  Soft music played as the scene cut to a
shot of the chaotic landscape of Lost Angles, where Pippkin could
be seen clinking champagne classes (at least, it was something
not unlike champagne) with a rather insane-looking female sprite
in red. "Even the most unlikely of Avatars seemed able to connect
with someone special here... and in some cases, they found
themselves connecting with someone unlikely."
     The footage dissolved to show the Great Red Serpent relaxing
in Dot's Diner, a quaint little Mainframe restaurant owned by a
sprite named Dot Matrix.  With a smug grin, Red stood up from his
table and swaggered over to her seat at the bar... only to be
suddenly swamped by a swarm of giggling young female Binomes.  As
Red desperately began trying to pull them off his torso and shake
them off his legs, the camera panned behind Red to a secluded
corner booth.  There, a familiar young woman sat, chatting over
energy shakes with a young-looking guardian with green skin and
shiny gold hair. She then paused, suddenly uneasy, and whirled
around to look directly into the previously completely unnoticed
camera.  A golded spark of power materialized in her hands and
then flew out towards the camera's lens as Michael spoke.  "In
fact, after the wonder and excitement of this week's stay, I'm
sure that the *stars* of the 3A won't be the only ones who'll be
unable to forget Mainframe *anytime* soon."
     The ki blast struck the camera right as Michael finished his
last word, and the footage abruptly ended in a burst of static.

     "Well, that was nice and pointless," Ric grumbled.
     "And with that out of the way, we begin the action!" JR
began, as 'Rainbow Revolution', the opening theme of
Revolutionary Girl Utena, brought out Alex "Shadow" Misamoto,
accompanied by his sister Samantha Jones. The young ninja got
quite a positive pop, particularly from the fans at ringside.
     "It seems that Alex has acquired quite a following during
his stay in this league," Tenay noted, quite impressed. 
     "Surprising, considering the kid's main accomplishment thus
far has been becoming the first 3A fighter to be pinned by an
inanimate object," Ric added bitterly.  "But still, I'm expecting
a great match... rumor has it that he has an old score to settle
with his opponent tonight."
     "My Heart Will Go On" played gently across the speakers as
3A's resident bishonen strolled to the ring.
     "I don't know, Ric," JR disagreed, "It's been quite a while
since Soulstone and Ankoku's wedding, and I hear Deb and Alex
have long since buried the hatchet."
     Ric shook his head, his expression wise.  "You don't quite
get it, Jimmy.  How he feels about Deb *now* doesn't matter, but
he remembers how he felt about her *then*... and he'll remember
who intruded on his territory.  Trust me, this match could get
nasty really fast."

Ankoku vs Alex "Shadow" Misamoto (/w Samantha Jones at ringside)

     Samantha looked on as her younger brother quickly began the
attack with a solid kick into the stomach and a sharp elbow onto
the neck that dropped the armored bishonen to one knee. 
     "Shadow's starting this match-up *quite* impressively!"
Tenay observed with approval as Shadow jerked the Azure Knight up
to his feet and whipped him into the ropes. 
     "But our Knight in Shining Armor is not to be denied! 
Ankoku ducks a spin kick from Shadow, bounces off the ropes...
and *down* Shadow goes, to an impressive rolling tackle!" Ric
exclaimed.  Ankoku then worked down to his legs and began
wrenching Alexander's knee. 
     "The Azure Knight is continuing to work over Alexander's
knee... elbow drop by Ankoku... but a quick kick from Alex!  The
boy's back on his feet!" JR called.
     
     "Despite Ankoku's armor, Shadow's martial arts abilities
seem to be *devastating* Ankoku! Solid palm strike to the gut... 
knife-edge chop to the side of Ankoku's head.... The Azure Knight
is staggering!" Tenay announced. Alexander took the opening to
leap up and drill a series of super-charged, mid-air kicks into
Ankoku's breastplate.  
     "Ankoku's up against the ropes... damn, I know I for one
underestimated this kid!  Still, the kid doesn't look like he's
doing anything for an offense now, and..." 
     Ric was suddenly interrupted by a shout from JR.  "Look at
his eyes, Ric!  They're turnin' white... and ki-powered spin kick
sends Ankoku over the ropes!  Shadow's charged up his warrior
soul!"  Ankoku's helm flew as he toppled over, letting the many
awed female audience members gape at the beau's long silver
locks.
     "Alexander Misamoto continues his ruthless assault on the
Azure Knight... Shadow takes a running start from the ring apron
and vaults off... but Ankoku reverses it into a *big* power slam
to the concrete!" Tenay called.  "Ankoku's not out of this one
yet!"

     Ankoku's offense was broken, however, when he bent down to
pull the young vigilante to his feet. Alexander lashed out with a
desperation kick that connected to the top of Ankoku's head, then
leapt to his feet and drew his gleaming katana with a swift,
fluid motion.  
     JR seemed genuinely startled.  "I did not expect these kinds
of tactics from Shadow... Ankoku's dodging, but his back's
already to the railing."  There were some audible sighs of relief
as Alexander sheathed his blade... and pulled the metal steps
that lead up to the apron away from the ring post.  
     "Alex is using the steps for a springboard, and... flying
clothesline!! *Both* men just went over the railing and into the
audience!" Tenay called.  
     "Those poor girls in the audience must be scared to death,"
Ric deadpanned.

     The robo ref hovered out into the audience in an attempt to
regain control of the match as Alexander quickly leapt to his
feet, and drills a kata of ki-enhanced punches into Ankoku's
battered breastplate and exposed face.  "Fortunately, we've
already got some security out to keep the fans back, and give
these Avatars some room to fight... and they *are* fighting!
Alex has hold of Ankoku... MAH GOD, we may be ready to see a
Shadow's Justice on the *concrete*!" JR shouted.  
     "Ankoku's up... and OUT!  He just flipped *out* of Alex's
grasp, lands behind him... and a back suplex by Ankoku onto the
concrete!" Tenay exclaimed merrily.
     "Shadow's got to be getting worked up... he can't be thinking
clearly, trying to pull off a finisher this early in the match,"
Ric said with a disapproving shake of his head.  
     Ankoku, meanwhile, unleashed several punches onto Alex with
his gauntlet-covered fists. While Alexander was sprawled
painfully along the metal railing, Ankoku paused and took the
time to remove his damaged breast-plate and chainmail, revealing
the sleeveless shirt underneath. Several armored guards were
forced to spring into action to keep the shrieking female fans at
bay. 

     "Without that armor, it seems like Ankoku can finally keep
up Shadow... Solid clothesline from Ankoku that sends Alexander 
over the railing, and back to the mats!" JR said.  After first
receiving an enthusiastic hug from a blue-skinned teenage sprite
at ring side, Ankoku took a short leap onto the railing and
drilled a vicious drop kick into the young ninja! 
     "The bad blood between these two bishonen is definitely
beginning to show," Tenay called, his tone dropping to reflect
the growing tension in the once-friendly match-up.  "Ankoku grabs
Alexander's gi and *slams* Shadow into the side of the ring with
it, then rolls him into the ring... and unsheathes his energy
blade!"

     In the ring, Alexander promptly removed the hindering
"shirt" of his ninja gi, and closed his eyes in concentration.
"This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen," Ric breathed in
awe.  "We have half the security staff, Son Goku, *and*
NotReallyHere out... and they're *barely* managing to keep the
women out of the ring now!"
     Alex, meanwhile, brought his hands to his forehead and
begins shimmering faintly as an indigo aura sparked around him.
"Ankoku's chargin' in to the attack... whatever Alex is doin',
he'd better do it fast, or..." JR trailed off as Ankoku darted
through the robes and lunged in with his energy blade. 
     "SHADOW DAWN!"
     Alex thrust his hands toward the incoming Knight, catching
Ankoku in the cone of dazzling blue light and force that erupted
forth from his cupped hands. 
     Mike Tenay opened his eyes gingerly as the shimmering blast
died down. "After that blast, Ankoku has got to be blinded...
yes, he's staggering, and his slashes are wild!"
     "Yeah, but how much good is this going to do Shadow?  It
looks the robo-ref's optics are fried, too, he'll lose time on
any pin he tries to make," JR countered.
     Ric grinned wryly.  "Listen to yourself, JR.  The Robo-Ref's
got no optics..." 
     Almost as if on cue, Ankoku lurched awkwardly into the
ropes... at which point Samantha Jones leapt up onto the apron 
and *powerfully* shin kicked him in the back of the head! 
     "Hah!  There is was!" Ric proclaimed with satisfaction.
     Mike and JR seemed a bit stunned, in contrast.  "Samantha
stayed uninvolved for the entire match... why on *earth* would
she get involved now?" JR pondered.  
     "To score a win for family, of course," Ric dismissed. 
"See, the silver-haired pretty-boy is staggering... and there he
goes, right into Alex's grip!  Shadow takes him up, and...
*Shadow's Justice*!!" 
     The robo-ref's eyes finally glowed back into life as he
recovered from the previous light-blast, and innocently delivered
an even three-count to award Shadow the victory.
     
     Samantha escorted Alex up the rampway, as a weak cheer arose
from the confused crowd. Sam took the time to grab the top half
of Alex's gi, and tossed it back to him with a smirk.
     "Put this back on, you doof!" She laughed in a slightly
embarrassed tone as they disappeared through the curtains.

     "An impressive win for Alex Misamoto," Ric began. "I'm not
too sure the assist from Silhouette was needed, but hey, it
didn't seem to hurt..."
     "Well, the medical staff is checking out Ankoku right now,
it seems that he's going to be okay... that must have been a very
well-placed kick to incapacitate Ankoku so *completely*," Tenay
noted.
     "Mike, that was one *hell* of a kick he took," JR replied as
he returned to his notes. "And on another sour note... Colley
Dogstar, one of the rising young Avatars of Team Foxfire, was
also scheduled to join the rest of the  3A representatives in
their tour of Mainframe. As you might have noticed, he wasn't in
the video.  He was unable to attend because of...well, just watch
this."

-------------------------------------------------

     The video begins with Edward chatting with the recovered
Scarlet. She was dressed casually in blue jeans and a leather
jacket, her once-long auburn locks cropped just above her collar.
They walked down a metallic corridor to the apartment suite
belonging to Team Foxfire.
     "... It's good to have ya back, at least, Scarlet," Edward
smiled shyly.
     "I'm glad to be back too. My psionic powers aided my
healing, so at least I'm back on my feet."
     "That's cool, but you're still not 100%, yet. It's best you
go back with Jim to St. Louis for a while, you're not ready for
competition."
     "Eddie, with that madman gunning for our tails, you guys
*need* an officer to watch your backs."
     The couple approached the door to their suite. Edward put a
hand on Scarlet's should to comfort her.
     "It'll be okay, hon. Heck, we got Davey-kins and JB on our
side. We got it covered--"
     Edward punched in the code to open the door, and Colley 
immediately crashed face-first to the ground between the two.
     "Colley!" Scarlet gasped. She and Eddie slowly rolled the
large Road Rover over. He was clearly ill and he had vomited
at least once, judging from the foul mucus on his snout and
front.
     "Dude, speak to me, man! Are ya alright!?" the frantic 
Edward pleaded.
     Colley coughed out weakly, dribbling a foul substance from
the side of his mouth. "Eddie... do I *look* alright?..." He
gazed up with a rueful glance to his friend and forced out a
grin.
     Scarlet had entered the apartment, and returned carrying a
pair of cylindrical canisters.
     "You don't have to be a forensic expert to figure out the
culprit *this* time..." Scarlet snarled bitterly. "I swear, once
I'm up to full health..."
     "There'll be time for that, just help me out!" Edward
exclaimed, feebly trying to support Colley's mass by himself.
Scarlet put the Road Rover's other arm over her shoulder and
supported him from the other side. They slowly guided their
poisoned comrade back down the hallway.

--------------------------------------------------

     The scene faded back to the arena. Republica's "Ready to Go"
was already playing to a huge ovation, as Taruchi had scaled a
turnbuckle to play to the crowd.
     Ric just shook his head. "Nav's picking them off one by one.
I can understand wanting to even the odds, but still... poisoning
their food is just a bit much, even in this game."
     "One does have to question engaging in biological warfare
during a title shot," JR nodded in agreement.
     "But now, to return to our tag team tournament!" Tenay
continued enthusiastically.  "We've got perhaps the most
impressive of the many Cinderella stories in the tournament, Blue
Thunder!"
     "Indeed, Taruchi is quickly rising in the ranks of both team
and singles competition thanks to his new 'partner'," JR noted.
     "It's a *statue*, Jimmy," Ric dismissed with a scowl, as the
haunting Goldust theme began to play. "And I doubt it'll help
against these boys."
     "The Ladykillers look to be the dominant team remaining in
the brackets," Tenay observed, "But upsets have been the rule in
this tourney... let's see what happens to them against the
red-hot Blue Thunder."   

TAG TEAM SEMI-FINALS
     Blue Thunder (Taruchi and Mally) vs. The Lady Killers (Oscar
Martinez and Moonlight Chris)

     A very confident Chris Caldwell entered the ring first, then
immediately tied up with the Light God for a show of strength.
"The Moonlight Neophyte's off to a strong start, backing Taruchi
into a neutral corner... but the an impressive show of agility by
the faster-than-light god!" JR exclaimed as Taruchi leapt up onto
the middle turnbuckle, using Chris's own grip for balance.
"Flying head scissors by Taruchi sends Chris flying into the
middle of the ring!" 
     Taruchi swept in for a thunderous, swift combination of 
punches, sending Cadwell scrambling to the corner for the tag.
The Saiya-jin climbed into the ring and looked about the crowd,
growing increasingly irate from the "FUR-VERT!" chant that
immediately sprang up.

     "Oscar with a vicious side kick into Taruchi's
ribs... the light god gets a violent irish whip into the ropes...
and Oscar *drops* him to the mat with a spinning backbreaker!"
Ric called. 
     "And the Saiyan's continuing to keep the match on the mat...
a series of knee drives into Taruchi's ribs, and then Oscar
cinches in an armbar," Tenay noted.  Taruchi valiantly struggled
up to his feet, but Oscar only changed his hold into an abdominal
stretch. 
     "Now Oscar grabs hold of the rope for additional 
pressure... you can tell Taruchi's really feeling the pain from
this move, and..." JR then trailed off abruptly.   
     "Taruchi's gone!" Ric exclaimed, as the light blue energy
that indicated the light god's previous position slowly faded   
     "No matter how impressive it is, scientific wrestling is no
match for intangibility," Tenay said with a sad, sad shake of his
head. 

     The baffled Saiyan looked about the cautiously, only to be
suddenly battered by a series of strikes too fast to be seen. The
last blow threw Oscar into the a neutral corner as Taruchi
rematerialized, gleaming with power. 
     "The Light God is *swarming* in to the attack now, blurred
and shimmering from the sheer *power*... he *lays* into Oscar
with a flurry of kicks, and... MAH GOD!  Incredible tornado DDT!"
JR announced.  
     "Taruchi goes for the cover... but it's Chris with a knee-
drop for the save!" Ric finished. 

     "Now both Ladykillers are in the ring for a double-team
attack on Taruchi!" Tenay shouted. They launched Taruchi into the
ropes, Chris springing off the other set of ropes to clip the
Light God and sending Taruchi crashing to the mat.  Oscar then
launched into a senton drop, driving himself onto the back of
Taruchi's neck! 
     "Taruchi seems completely exhausted after that brutal
attack, and... oh, lord, business is about to pick *up*!" JR
swore. 
     "They're headin' for the top turnbuckles... it's time for
the Death Blossom!" Ric shouted. 
     Moonlight Chris had readied his arm, gesturing methodically
with his white rose as his power neared critical mass... when
Taruchi abruptly staggered to his knees and blasted forth an
energy bolt.  The force bolt blasted the white rose out of Chris'
hand, interrupting him and causing him to drop *quite* painfully
onto the top turnbuckle. Oscar, seeing his partner's plight,
quickly launched his ki blast, nailing Taruchi in the back and
sending him back to the mat. 

     "The Saiya-jin's climbing down, and... yes, he grabs
Taruchi's legs!  He's going for the Dragon's Claw!" Tenay yelled. 
     "Taruchi's resisting, but it may be too little too late..."
JR continued.  
     "If it wasn't, then it is now... Moonlight Chris from the
TOP!" Ric shouted.  Caldwell had recovered enough to make it to
the top corner turnbuckle, and descended to stun Taruchi with a
flying leg drop across the head. After that, Oscar easily flipped
Taruchi over and cinches in his trademark submission hold.   
     "Taruchi's fighting it, but he's just too far from the
ropes!!  This is over!" Tenay proclaimed.
     "There's no tellin' how this is going to end up...  Oscar
may be a Saiya-jin warrior, but Taruchi's a *god*, and-- hey,
what's Caldwell doing?" JR suddenly asked.  During Taruchi's
struggle, Caldwell had stealthily approached Taruchi's corner and
snatched the light god's beloved Silver Mally...

     The Light God was *still* struggling diligently in Oscar's
grueling hold... when he saw the smarmy Moonlight Neophyte with
his Mally in his clutches. 
     "Oh, come on... what's *Caldwell* doing with that thing?!"
Ric exclaimed. 
     "From the looks of it?  Threatening Taruchi," JR replied
dryly.  With a smarmy grin, Chris flourished his hand and made it
crackle to life with energy, then placed it dangerously close to
the statuette. A wave of stark fear swept across Taruchi's face,
and he promptly submitted. 
     "Threatening Taruchi's *partner* to make him submit...
that's low, even for a couple of former Horde members like these
two!  I can't believe... " Mike then trailed off as he noticed Ric
and JR glaring evenly at him.
     "Statue," Ric said bluntly.
     "Yes, right... statue," Tenay replied with a sheepish grin. 
     Once Taruchi submitted, Moonlight Chris casually tossed the
statuette to the side and then nodded to Oscar... who flared with
golden ki power as he went Super-Saiyan.

     "They're keeping him in the Dragon Claw... with Oscar in
Super Saiya-jin mode?!  The herm's gonna *kill* him!" Ric shouted
in alarm.
     "They've already got the match won! Haven't they already
humiliated that boy enough?" JR protested.  
     "Looks like they're out to prove a point, Jim," Ric said
with a disgusted shake of his head. "These punks are out to prove
themselves by *any* means."
     "Taruchi's definitely in a rough spot and... WAIT, GUYS!"
Tenay marked out as the inimitable Lord Thinker charged out of
the stands and into the ring. "Here comes the calvary!"
     "Moonlight Chris is waiting for him!  Turban-boy draws his
scimitar, and we've got a duel on our hands!" JR called as the
crowd roared enthusiastically.  Thinker drew his massive Delete
Key, and the two Avatars began clashing swords. They matched each
other's blows until Thinker, with unnatural agility, bapped Chris
across the head with the flat of the Delete Key! Thinker then
drove a final swipe into the mat, launching a small arc of force
through the ground that was enough to send Chris flying upon
impact. 
     "Now Oscar's trying his luck against the Incoherent One!
Oscar with a side kick into Thinker's back, and... he just picked
Thinker up and hurled him for distance out of the ring!" Ric
shouted.  Lord Thinker, however, somehow managed to twist around
so that he landed on his feet on the apron.
     Oscar kicked back up, and sneered confidently at the loud
"FUR-VERT!" taunt that erupted from the crowd. He was unaware as
Thinker dove nimbly through the ropes and slides
bonelessly in behind him. 
     "Lord Thinker has just hoisted Oscar up into a fireman's
carry, and... THERE IT IS!  The *Mindbender*!" Oscar finally
rolled weakly out of the ring to join his fellow Ladykiller and
fled the scene.

     Lord Thinker walked over to pick up the Mally statuette, but
Taruchi snatched her up with lightning speed and cradled her
defensively. Thinker simply nodded to him understanding. "It's
okay, I gotcha. Mallies are important and valuable. I have one
myself, and--"
     Taruchi's eyes suddenly went wide with shock. "You've...
*had* her?..."
     Thinker continued, unaware of Taruchi's misinterpretation.
"Actually, I've gotten several Mallies, ummm, three times so far. 
And it looks like I'll have lots more chances this year. So I 
know it's important--"
     Taruchi blipped away and reappeared mere inches from
Thinker. The god was angry, and glared into the surprised,
innocent young man's face angrily. "No one... *no one*... has the
right to use Malahelicon like that! Your brazen behavior will
*not* go unpunished! This... I *COMMAND*!"
     With that, the furious Taruchi blipped out of existence,
leaving a very confused Lord Thinker and audience behind. 

     "What the *hell* was all that about?" JR asked out loud.
     "Well, if I didn't know better... I'd say it sounded like
Taruchi was jealous," Tenay pondered. "It sounded like he thought
'Mally' had... well, *been* with Thinker..."
     "It's a *statue*, for Christ's sake!" Ric protested. "Next
we'll be lamenting the death of a wooden horse or cheering for a
sock or something!" Ric's rant was then interrupted by the sound
of *his* theme playing. The former champion's eyes narrowed, as
his expression shifted to a disgusted frown. "This just isn't my
night..."
     "Yes, the self-proclaimed Master of Polymorphing has finally
arrived in the ring to face Joseph... Vision, Lord of Pez,"
Tenay commented. The Lord of Pez strolled regally to the ring,
accompanied by the lovely vixen Sandra Nightweaver.
     "As you recall, folks, quite a heated rivalry built between
Vision, Joseph, and Ryan during the Mobian semi-finals over one
Miss Nightweaver," JR noted as Joseph then arrogantly strolled to
the ring to Usher's 'My Way'.
     "That reminds me," Tenay realized. "We haven't heard from
Ryan the Newcomer since Joseph walked out of their tag match.
Does anyone know what happened to him?"
     "Mikey, I think these two shapeshifters will be *plenty* for
now," Ric dismissed as the bell rang.     

JOSEPH vs VISION

     "Vision hammers away with a hard slash across Joseph's face.
Then Vision throws that robe of his over Joseph's head... and
drives an elbow into the vulpine's back!" Tenay began.  Joseph
quickly morphed and vanished into the robe. The Lord of Pez
violently shook the empty robes and Joseph, as a regular
squirrel, dropped and scampered between his legs. 
     JR watched the squirrel scamper about with a chuckle. 
"Well, it'll be interesting to see what kind of an offense Joseph
comes up with like this."  JR stopped laughing, though, when the
squirrel morphed into a large humanoid crocodile and clamped a
gruesome bite onto Vision's shoulder!
     "He's trying to rip Vision's shoulder off!" Tenay breathed
in horror.
     Ric smirked.  "Yeah, this match may be better than I
thought..."    

     Vision cried out in pain, and managed to grab the sides of
Joseph's head and whip him down with a snap mare takedown. He
immediately followed up by clamping on a head scissors,
polymorphing into a rabbit, and using his powerful
legs to apply crushing pressure. "Vision's trying his best, but
Joseph is on the *warpath* here! He's already up on his feet,
grabs a hold of Vision, lifts him in the air... and powerbomb
into a pinning combination!" JR announced rapidly.  
     "I don't believe it!  This match could already be over...
no, two count!" Tenay said with a sigh of relief.
     
     "Joseph's shifted into a small snake's form and slithered
onto Vision's back. I wonder what he's gonna... HOLY!! Joseph
just turned into some kind of big rhino-morph, and he's
*crushing* Vision to the mat!" Ric exclaimed.
     "Now Joseph's *punishing* Vision with some huge punches to
the back of the head, and... MAH GOD, what a camel clutch! 
There's no way Vision can stand up to that kind of strength!" JR
yelled. The Lord of Pez looked to be almost out... when he
suddenly shifted into a gorilla and toppled Joseph onto his back. 
     "No! Vision's recovering! He grabs one of Joseph's legs, and
slingshots him into the corner! Joseph staggering!" Tenay cried
out triumphantly. Mike quieted, though, when Joseph then turned
rapidly around and rammed Vision in the stomach with his horns, 
then backdropped him. Joseph cooly looked down on Vision's
struggling body and the flustered Sandra, and then basked in the
jeers of the crowd.

     The Lord of Pez struggled to his knees, shifting into his
original felinoid form. "And now Joseph pulls... hell, drags
Vision up and whips him into the ropes.  Joseph's going for a
clothesline, and... Vision ducks!" Ric declared. Vision then
richocheted off of the rope, morphed back into his rabbit form
and delivered a solid drop kick into Joseph's... 'area'. 
     "Well... I can't fault Vision for using tactics like that in
this match," Jr muttered.  "And Vision continues his new assault
with a moonsault from the top turnbuckle! Vision goes for a
pin... *close* two count!"
     "And Joseph's life isn't about to get worse... look
who's coming down the aisleway," Ric smirked.  It was none other
than an irate Ryan the Newcomer, who was moving purposefully
towards the ring with a metal chair in hand.

     "Meanwhile, Vision continues his comeback! He unleashes a
combination of swift kicks... and a back flip kick sends even
*Joseph* reeling!" Once again, Joseph narrowly escaped being
pinned, as Sandra saw the incoming Newcomer and went to
intervene.
     "All I want...is a crack at that backstabber..." the
disgruntled shapeshifter growled, pointing toward the downed
Joseph. His threats were cut off, however,  as a pair of
individuals in gothic attire materialized beside them. 
     "Oh gawd... That's Dark Starr and Wolfsbane!" JR protested.
     "The hentai vampire is assaulting the Newcomer and--" Ric
abruptly stopped as Ryan teetered over. "... Knocks him out with
the Stomach Punch..."
     "Well, it's been rumored that even Ranma Saotome cannot with
stand Dark Starr's deadly nerve strike," Tenay recited in shock.
     Ric sighed, calmly looked over to Tenay, and bapped him
sharply across the head.

     Vision had scaled the turnbuckles once more, and was ready
to deliver the Pez Splash, when he heard Sandra cry out. He spun
around to see Wolfsbane grappling with his manager, clamping a
energy-drenched claw her shoulder. Sandra mercifully passed out
from the draining effects, dropping into a heap at the vampire
bat's feet. Panicked, Vision began to scramble through the
ropes to assist her...just as a psychic blast pierced his mind
from behind. 
     "The hell was THAT?" Ric shouted in shock.
     "There's no psychics in the Horde... who could that be?"
Tenay asked as he frantically dug through his notes.  
     "Sweet Mother of Mary... that's *Joseph* himself!" JR
yelled. Joseph was now back in his usual fox form, hovering over
the mat and glowing an ominous violet hue. With a yell, Joseph
released a telepathic shockwave that ripped through the Lord of
Pez and knocked him into the corner. Joseph approached the
drained shapeshifter with contempt and easily applied the Vulpine
Neckbreaker for the win.  The announcers seemed to stunned to say
anything.
     

     Joseph leaps over the ropes and onto the floor to greet Dark
Starr and Wolfsbane. Wolfsbane grabbed him in a warm hug, while
Dark Starr nodded slightly at Joseph as he sipped from his
canteen. 

     "Oh mah gawd...this was all a set up by Joseph..." JR
uttered.
     "Worse than that! That smug no-selling bastard's a Horde
member now!" Ric scowled. 
     Joseph, meanwhile, looked down at the unconscious Sandra
Nightweaver and lifted her up onto his shoulders.
     "Just to get Sandra!?" Tenay cried.
     "That, or he knows a window of opportunity when he sees it."
JR concluded, shaking his head. "Whatever the case, the Horde's
back to full power..."
     Joseph and Dark Starr were both smiling in satisfaction as
they blipped away in a burst of psionic energy. Wolfsbane
remained behind, waiting eagerly at the base of the rampway.

     "This is most definately an ominous set-up for our main
event. We'll..." JR's enthusiasm suddenly waned as an odd bot
entered the ring. It was similar to the Binomes that had been
milling about, except that the top half of its "head" was
composed of a television with eyes. It wore a dress suit over its
rectangular body, and had styled "hair" on the top its monitor.
     "Once more, I'll ask it... 'What the hell is that?'" Ric
asked flatly.
     "It appears that tonight's main event will be introduced by
one..." Tenay leafed through his notes and then stopped.
"'Michael Television.'"
     Ric finally succumbed to the urge to teeter out of his seat
and face-first onto the floor, while JR whistled and examined his
coffee.
     "Okaaaay, next time the 3A comes to Mainframe, we're getting
substitutes," JR stated flatly as Michael Television began the
ring introductions in a deep, suave, vaguely familiar voice.

     "Welcome everyone to tonight's MAIN EVENT! The struggle for
power continues as the elite soldiers from Dark Sonic's sinister
Horde and Pippkin's maniacal Asylum do battle. Are you ready?"
     As the crowd cheered along with the traditional intro. Jim
Ross couldn't find a comment fitting to seeing Buffer's classic
speech coming from a humanoid TV.  
     "Fellow sprites and binomes of Mainframe, are you
rrrrready?!"
     The cheers intensified and Michael concluded. "For the
thousands in attendance, and the millions throughout the
Multiverse, ladies and gentlemen... lllllet's get ready to
rrrrumbllleeeee!"

     A change in music snapped the three commentators out of
their shock.  Instead of the Horde's usual theme, Orgy's 'Blue
Monday' blared through the arena. The violet lightshow cued up,
and the massive White Wolf, Kefkain, strolled methodically down
the ramp. He stopped halfway and extended his hand respectfully.
Wolfsbane quickly scampered up the rampway and nestled into
Kefkain's broad shoulder. The two vampiric furries walked to the 
ring as Michael introduced him.

     "Coming to the ring in red and black, our first fighter is
accompanied by Wolfsbane. He is the first and most prolific
soldier in Dark Sonic's Horde. His long running rivalry with Wolf
is known throughout the Multiverse. He also the reigning Mobian 
Champion. I present...KEFKAIN!"

     A solid stream of boos greeted Kefkain as he entered the
ring. He remained on one knee, looking down at his ward with an
unusual air of respect... almost kindness. 

     The industrial sounds were then replaced with *more*
industrial sounds as Mariyln Manson's 'The Beautiful People'
signaled the arrival of 3A's most notorious demon. In a flash of
sulphuric smoke, Oni and Pippkin appeared. Michael Television was
startled but continued uneasily.

     "Urr...His opponent, wearing violet and black, is
accompanied by Pippkin. This former Horde member was... left in
prison after his grueling fight with Samantha Jones at King of
the Net. Blaming Dark Sonic for his plight, he turned to Pippkin
to aid him in ridding the 3A of Dark Sonic's presence. Here
is...ONI!"
     The nervous droid stood uneasily between the two mammoth
dark warriors. They glared at each other, ready to tear through
each other... when familiar tones sounded throughout the arena
speakers. Mike the TV took the opportunity to slip out of the
ring and away from the two hulking monsters.

     "That music..." JR noticed.
     "It's The Revenant's music!" Tenay called out as the music
continued into Rammstien's 'Du Hast'. "But why's he here *now*?"
     The camera panned to see the dark warrior wading through the
cheering crowd. Closing behind him was an enthusiastic teenaged
girl with short violet hair, wearing torn black denim jeans and a
leather jacket.

     The two siblings vaulted over the railing. Shaed Bloodgrave
paused to take off his trenchcoat and hand it to Lilith Aensland.
After a quick hug for encouragement. Bloodgrave rolled into the
ring and arose to one knee. He raised his hands to the air and
then dropped them. Violet flame blasted from the turnbuckle posts
and then died out. Then, finally, the arena lights finally come
back on.

     Ric nodded with approval. "I get it now, Bloodgrave's going
after the Horde. Helluva way to announce it, though... what is he
just gonna come down and wrestle?"
     "Say... Chris Caldwell and Oscar-- They were Horde members,
and now Kefkain and Oni!" Tenay added.  
     Shaed stood up fully and glared intently at Kefkain,
adjusting his fingerless leather gloves. Kefkain returned the
gaze, smiling with a fanged grin at his foe while loosening his
powerful arms up for battle.
     "Still, I have to question Bloodgrave's plan of action." JR
worried. "He's got two of the nastiest monsters in the 3A to
contend with in there."
     "Regardless, it looks like Robby's going to honor the
Revenant's wishes..." Tenay stopped as the demonic Oni leapt
toward Bloodgrave. "AND HERE WE GO!"

TRIANGLE MATCH:
Kefkain vs Shaed Bloodgrave vs Oni (Wolfsbane, Lilith Aensland,
and Pippkin at ringside)

     "Oni starts off what's sure to be one of the biggest damn
slobberknockers the 3A's ever seen, driving a solid kick into the
back of Bloodgrave's head," JR called with unusual quiet. The
White Wolf simply backed into a corner to watch the
skirmish go on. 
     "Oni with a flying clothesline... and Shead's absorbing the
terrible punishment *extremely* well!" Tenay marveled as Shaed 
rolled back to his feet, rubbing his shoulder with a grin on his face. 
     "And... Oni's just switched targets!  The demon just caught
Kefkain sitting down, and raked him across the throat with one of
those bone spurs on his ankle!  Blood is *flying* out of that
gash..." Ric trailed off. 
     Kefkain snarled in rage and shoved Oni's foot away, just as
Oni raked one of his long claws into him. "Dear God... Oni's
using the leverage that claw gives to try and whip Kefkain into
the Revenant..." JR called. "But a reversal by Kefkain, sending
the demon into a big roundhouse kick from Shaed!"

     "And now... *Kefkain* and *Shead* are actually doubleteaming
Oni!" Tenay exclaimed as they began stomping the demon into the
mat.   "The two whip Oni into the ropes, and... *double*
superkick!" 
     "But they *definately* aren't the best of friends..." Ric 
grinned as The White Wolf and The Revenant slowly turned and 
glared into each others eyes. "Those two hate each other so much, 
I can feel it from here... and no wonder, they're getting ready 
to blast each other!"  The two combatants stepped away from each 
other and begin focusing: Bloodgrave enshrouded with crackling 
black ki energy, while Kefkain was absorbed by his usual blood-red 
aura. They stared each other down, waiting for the ideal moment.
Meanwhile, Oni kneels in the corner, smiling deviously to
himself, waiting...

     "And now... like two enraged bulls from the depths of hell,
they're *charging*!!" JR hollered.  Kefkain and Bloodgrave flew
at each other in a frenzy, exchanging punches and kicks, easily
matching and blocking each other in power and skill. 
     "Kefkain connects with a sound roundhouse, but Shaed rolls
with it and... an amazing leap into the air!  What's he doing?"
Tenay pondered. 
     "SHO SHINZUI KYAKU!"
     In time with his attack cry, the Revenant somersaulted and
delivered an explosive ax kick, a burst of his black ki exploding
into Kefkain as it connected. The announcers seemed to be
impressed, and Kefkain dropped to one knee, snarling. The
Revenant then readied his hands, and...
     "KOKU EN KYU!"
     An arch of black flame hurtled toward the White Wolf... who
dispersed into red mist and swarmed toward the vulnerable
Bloodgrave. He solidified and immediately launched a fiery attack
of his own...
     "CHAOS FLARE!"
     "MAH GOD!! The Revenant's been thrown halfway across the
ring... he's in the ropes, that unholy fire *burning* across his
chest!  You can't tell this at home, folks, but the enitre
ringside area is beginning to smell like *brimstone*!" 
     "And now Oni jumps into the fray!  He grabs Kefkain around
the waist, and... they are *airborne*!  Oni flies up... way up...
and... he comes back with an aerial *german suplex*!!  He
practically dropped Kefkain from the *rafters*!" Tenay shrieked. 
While Oni did attempt a pinning combination, Kefkain miraculously
kicked out at two.

     "Now Oni's bringing out his double-bladed axe... Oni dives
in, he swings, and Kefkain is *out* of here!" Ric called, wincing
slightly at the gore that sprayed from the three consecutive
hits: once in the ribs, once across his snout, and finally a deep
bash into the White Wolf's shoulder! 
     "It looks like Kefkain's retreating back to his corner while
his healing factor kicks in... and Wolfsbane looks downright
concerned," JR said in surprise.  Lilith followed the batgirl to
Kefkain's corner, while Pippkin looked on at his demonic
associate, quite pleased...

     "Oni's going after the Revenant next. Shaed seems to be
dodging remarkably well, and... NO, Shaed just ate a terrific
blow from the flat of the axe, right across the temple!" Tenay
said, his raising an octave in dismay.  Shaed staggered to the
center of the ring, and the demonic beast stretched out its wings
and drove his ax down into the mat, summoning his
Thousand Hells Fury! 
     "MAH GOD!  A column of pure *hellfire* just... it just
*consumed* the Revenant!  This isn't a match, it's carnage, pure
*carnage*!!" JR howled.
     The fires down down, and the severely burnt and weakened
immortal fell to one knee. "This could be it for the Revenant!
 Oni's just taken flight, and with that axe..." Tenay
trailed off ominously, just as Shaed rose his fists into the air
and down into the mat...
     "KOKU EN HA!!"
     A shockwave of black ki erupted around The Revenant,
launching the demonic Oni back!
     "Mah GOD! After all that!" JR shouted in continued
amazement. "That blast  just sent Oni flyin'! He's..."
     Jim Ross paused, seeing the massive shape sail over the
ropes...
     "He's..." Ric's eye's went wide and he scrambled out of the
chair as Oni's limp winged form plummeted down -- directly
overhead. 
     "Oh, shi---!"
     Oni's unconscious body then crashed, hard, into the
commentator's booth! Jim Ross and Mike Tenay were trapped
underneath the splintered remains of the desk and Oni's immense
mass. Ric had managed to dive out of the way, barely, but looked
horrified when he saw the wreckage of the announcing booth.  He
quickly threw his headset aside, and began shouting frantically
for security and medics to arrive. 

     Shaed Bloodgrave paused a moment to get his breath and
energies back, as his extensive wounds healed. That brief moment
was all the time Kefkain needed. The White Wolf pulled himself up
out of the corner and smashed an elbow into the Revenant's
stomach. Another uppercut staggered Bloodgrave further. Kefkain
then took up a powerful stance and readied himself for his latest
technique...
     "SHADOW CRADLE!"
     Infused with grey, mist-like energy, Kefkain charged in and
ripped a magically charged rising slash across Bloodgrave's
chest. A second, similar claw slash sent both rivals into the
air. Quickly, Kefkain grabbed The Revenant across the arm, and 
drove him down viciously into the mat with an Uranage Slam (aka
Rock Bottom) not unlike Bloodgrave's own Sudden Impact. The
grueling battle ended as Kefkain placed his claws over
Bloodgrave's heart, and Robby the robo-ref gengerly hovered
over to administer the three-count.

     Ric stalked back to his announcer's chair, which was largely
unscathed, and sat down.  "After a hell of a match, Kekfain's
pulled through..." Ric announced, glancing back to his
associates. The guards had finally managed to free JR and Mike
loose from the debris. JR was being assisted to an awaiting
gurdy, while Tenay was still very unconscious.
     "Under most conditions, I'd be a bit more impressed, but my
colleagues just had a 500+ pound demon land on them, so I'll be a
bit distracted through the rest of this match... but anyway, it
looks like Kefkain's not done yet!"

     Kefkain grabbed a hold of Bloodgrave's throat and hoisted
him up into the air. He stretched his other arm back, and a
blood-red orb materialized in his outstretched claw.

     "Good lord... on top of everything else, Kefkain's setting
him up for the Soul Steal," Ric said in dismay.
     Kefkain's body tensed as he was about to drive his black
spell into Bloodgrave's chest when Dark Sonic materializes
behind.

     "Excellent work, Kefkain! Most excellent, indeed. You've
decimated Oni and Joseph's back at the estate. We have much to
discuss before we deliver the ultimatum. Come along now--"
     The black hedgehog then noticed that Kefkain, for the first
time ever, was ignoring him. The White Wolf pulled back to drive
him spell in... and Sonic grabs his arm in mid-strike, holding
him back with his own black ki.
     "Why in the world did he just--!?" Ric wondered,
dumbfounded.
     "*Kefkain*...there will be time for this *later*," Sonic
said harshly.
     With much reluctance, Kefkain finally dropped the weary
Bloodgrave. Dark Sonic then vanished in a black mist, his
expression clearly displeased. Wolfsbane finally came into the
ring and leaned against her sire, as she hugged him in victory.
He placed a hand gently on her shoulder and, giving one last
glare across the arena, the two vampires faded away from the
scene.

	Ric surveyed the scene, as the medics began wheeling JR and
Tenay's limp carcasses away.  Ric then turned to face the camera,
clearly somewhat uncomfortable.  "Well!  That was our show this
week... we had some great matches... I nearly got killed...
everything you want in your two hours of free broadcast violence,
right?  Well, ah... I'm the Nat'cha Boy, Ric Flair, and on behalf
of my colleagues Jim Ross and Mike Tenay... who aren't here for
obvious reasons... well, I hope I'll be seeing you next week on
the Fight Scene." Ric then flashed the four fingers and let out a
slightly lukewarm 'WHOO!' as the show faded to black.  

------------------------------------------

Poor Jim and Mikey... What will become of the 3A announcing team?
Stay tuned next time... along with more of the general insanity
everyone's come to expect from the Author Avatar Association. 

The venue or this episode is from Reboot, an impressive CG
cartoon show that's coming back to the Cartoon Network. Find out
what strangeness goes down after Bob is launched into the Net.

Finally, here's hoping that Jim Ross gets better from his recent 
attack of Bell's Palsy. It looks like he's been really roughed up
from it... and his talents in the announcing booth are sorely
missed.  

-- Tim McLees & Alicia Ashby