The Budakai Fighting Grounds... "The newly formed Author Avatar Association has proven to be the definitive battleground for many of fan-fiction's most notorious self- inserted personas..." Michael Cole's voice begins as slow motion footage of Team Foxfire swaggering to the ring cues up. "It is a proving ground where egos are tested and endurance is pushed to its limit..." Team Foxfire's antics dissolve to Nav, struggling after his brutal match with Oscar. A split shot of David "Foxfire" Kintobor and Oscar appears. "Tonight, two bitter rivals, David Kintobor and Oscar, will face each other to determine who will become the first AAA Virtual Champion!" The spectacular maneuvers of Soulstone, Adam Chris Leigh, and Wolf are shown, as he continues, "Over the past few weeks, these Avatars have dazzled us with their prowess and pageantry..." Cut to the demented face of Pippkin, triumphant after his assault against Sting and the rest of his WCW associates, "But a sinister force has cast his gaze over the AAA, and has used it as the center stage for his personal agenda!..." Clips of a mind controlled Bret Hart, Aron Scythe, and the unveiling of Pippkin's host, Samantha Jones, roll in slow motion. "The demented Pippkin has claimed the AAA as his to rule, using any and all as his pawns." The intro closes with a focused Oscar and Kintobor gazing around, with a faded shot of Pippkin lurking in the background as Michael Cole finishes, "Tonight, not only is the title on the line, but perhaps the safety of the Multiverse, as well..." Capsule Corporation presents... OTAKUMANIA!! The camera pans the outdoor arena. The capacity-filled colosseum encircles a sparring ring with a polished stone floor. Turnbuckles and ropes have been added to the stone ring. A grand pyrotechnic display signals the beginning of this monumental event. "The Budakan has been the home of several legendary fighters: Picollo, Krillin, Vegeta, and Goku. It's only fitting that the most spectacular, greatest fan-fiction fighting event in history be staged here... Otakumania, the World Series of Self-Insertion!" a tuxedo-clad Jim Ross begins. "Good evening, everyone! It's been quite a ride to this event, but we've finally arrived." "That's right Jimmy," an also-tuxedo-clad Ric Flair added enthusiastically. "That sick bunny Pippkin did his worst, but the show has gone on! And I've heard that the *former* head of security, Detective Kiyone, has something special planned for Mr. Pippkin! WHOOO!" "Very true, Ric," Professor Mike Tenay finished. He too was in formal gear. "Kiyone knew well enough that villain would be too much for her staff. I've heard she's gotten the help of a special "enforcer" to maintain order..." Mike is interrupted as the rocking sounds of "Head Cha La" begin, much to the thrill of the sold-out crowd. Mike's eyes went wide in amazement. "That's the Dragonball Z theme!" "Oh my..." JR breathed. "You don't think..." Ric smiled gleefully. "Oh, if that's a hint to who the new enforcer is, ol' Pippkin is in a whole world of hurt!" Down the center aisle, Detective Kiyone strode to the ring. At her side, in a fine dress suit, is the famous Saiyan warrior, perhaps the most powerful character in existence... Son Goku! He greeted the cheering crowd with rather boyish enthusiasm. They got into the ring, and Goku took the mic. "I've heard that Miss Kiyone has been having a few rodent problems," Goku called out to a joyous cheer. "She told me of the carnage that this Pippkin has caused. I swear that his madness ends *tonight!*" The fans gave Goku a thunderous ovation as he handed the mic back to Kiyone. "I understood why the Powers That Be took me off as security head, and was really concerned about my replacement. I'd have to say, I am *definitely* impressed. One major point of concern was the appearance of Marissa Picard at last week's event. Now, since she starred in the Sailor Moon crossover "Moondusted", she can *technically* be here." This drew a mixed reaction from the crowd. "Say what you will about Marissa, but she did grind Pippkin's reign of chaos to a halt last week..." JR notes. "Yeah, but what if she just replaces it with one of her own?" Mike replied with a shudder. "You *do* remember what she did to the Tracke." "Plus, from the stories I've heard of Ms. Picard, I think even Goku here would be pressed to keep her in line," Kiyone continued. Goku arched an eyebrow at her teasing. "But enough announcements," Goku proclaims, "Enjoy the show!" The fight theme from "Project A-Ko" cues up, signaling the beginning of the opening match-up. "These two individuals have had an ax to grind since the opening rounds," Tenay commented. "Both these men have taken quite an interest in young A-Ko Megami, but their actions in the ring have just intensified their rivalry..." JR explains. "And the poor boys actually think that winning this match would impress her!" Flair cackled gleefully. He learned a long time ago that feats of strength don't impress a woman who can kick your butt. Footage of the ending of Myles and Tuxedo Chris's ambush on Nav after his fight with Craig Vincent rolls as JR notes, "Myles made his feelings toward Bane clear after helping Tuxedo Chris Caldwell in a blatant assault on Nav." Cut to the following match, Myles vs Takei, where Bane throttles Myles and delivers the Knightsbane Shoulderbreaker. "And Bane repaid Myles, and then some!" Flair added. As Myles approached the ring, Tenay said, "It appears that Myles is still feeling the effects of that injury... his shoulder is bandaged up." Myles struggled even to get in the ring. Then the familiar rums of Bill Goldberg's WCW music cued up... but they announced the entrance of a very different fighter. Bane, dressed in his namesake's costume sans mask, strode purposefully to the ring. "MAH GOD! Look at him! He's huge!" Ross marveled. "Poor Myles is also going to be in the proverbial world of hurt," Flair chuckled. "Once again, I feel I have to remind everyone NOT to sell Myles Buchanan short. He has amazing superstrength..." "SHUT UP, TENAY!" Ross and Flair yelled back at him in unison. GRUDGE MATCH: Myles Buchanan vs Bane "Bane's definitely dominating this match..." Ross began, wincing with each strike Bane made to Myles' wounded shoulder. Flair, however, seemed very quiet and pensive as he watched. Eventually, he broke into a rueful smile. "... and to think that old trick fooled *me*..." he laughed as Bane put Myles into an armbar submission hold. Myles was wailing pathetically in pain. The other two announcers glance quizzically toward each other, but then resume calling the match. "Now Bane sends Myles to the ropes... Bane's telegraphing a back drop..." Ross commented. "Myles stopped short!" Tenay suddenly exclaimed. The two announcers gaped as Myles unleashed a flurry of punches... even with his *bad* shoulder! "Boys, we should've seen that coming from a mile away," Flair smiled nostalgically. "That's one of the greatest dirty tricks of all time: the faked injury!" A few swift kicks toppled the mammoth to one knee. "Myles with a flying clothesline, and Bane is down!" JR exclaimed. "The big man's staggering." "Myles is charging up..." Tenay said expectantly. "... and the HOWLING WOLF BLAST!!" Bane was sent flying into the turnbuckle by the amazing force of the blast. Myles, grinning proudly, played to the crowd... and received only a chorus boos for his efforts. "It's too bad that dirty trick won't save Myles," Flair sighed. "You never, EVER turn your back on somebody that big." Myles began charging another blast as Bane struggled up. "A *second* Howling Wolf Blast? Could *anyone* take that?" JR asked in shock. Myles launched the Howling Wolf Blast, but this time... "Bane took that shot right on the chest! But he's NOT EVEN PHASED!!" Tenay screamed. After the attack, Bane beat his chest and yelled a mighty war cry. "It's time to say 'Good night', Myles," Flair grinned. Bane charged and delivered a devastating punch to Myles' stomach, then whipped him over with a power slam. With relative ease Bane hoisted Myles into an Argentian Backbreaker (a.k.a. the Torture Rack). "Well, you have to give Myles credit... at least he's persistent," Ross commented as Myles steadfastly refused to submit. "Either that, or the Piggyback Ride of Doom is a stupid move that doesn't really work," Tenay growled bitterly. Frustrated with the Backbreaker's lack of efficacy, Bane finally lifted Myles up in a Gorilla Press and, with an impressively light toss, flipped him around and delivered the Knightsbane Shoulderbreaker for the victory! "Good night, Myles!" the announcers chorused as the three-count was made. "We've got trouble!" Flair announced as the camera cuts to a furious A-Ko. She leapt the rail and left the VIP area, and looked quite angry. Goku stood resolutely in her way. Bane, grinning and confident after his victory, maneuvered around Goku to greet his red-headed goddess. A-Ko, determined to get to the ring, absentmindedly punched Bane out of the way (and halfway across the arena), and grabbed a mic. "I want those bastards that kidnaped C-Ko out here *NOW*!" she shrieked. Goku insistently stayed in her way. "Think about what you're asking, A-Ko-chan!" he pleaded. But her call is already answered as Pippkin, now in his usual male, well-dressed form, appeared at the entrance way. He held the hand of a rather pretentious-looking (and disturbingly hollow-eyed) Samantha, dressed in a long indigo dress. Flanking the duo is Agent Q and Aron Scythe. Goku firmly stood ground between A-Ko and Pippkin's minions, too much of a roadblock for either of them go through. "Bring it on, monkey boy!" Aron Scythe hollered frantically. "Please, Aron, be courteous," Samantha scolded smugly. "The young dear wants to talk with us." "Oh, just look at that! That's... that's completely disgusting!" Ross spat angrily into his head set. "Her eyes... Just look at her eyes!" Tenay breathed in horror. "She looks like she's dead inside." "She probably *is*. This had got to be a sad day for Jamie Jeans," Flair said, showing a rare display of true emotion. In the crowd, a green turban-wrapped head popped out of the crowd. The Namek warrior Piccolo was in a rage, utterly shocked at what Pippkin had done to his co-MiSTier. It took Vegeta and Krillin to hold the berserk Namek back. "By all means," Pippkin called gently as he approached A-Ko, "What do you wish to know? I am in the business of enlightenment, after all. I released Miss Jones from a purgatory of fiendish fiction. When his "best friend" deserted him in Hong Kong two years ago, I *alone* saved Agent Q and gave him safe passage back to America. And sweet Mr. Scythe... he was constantly played like a puppet by his conniving hag of a manager, Anne Brandies! So you see, Miss Megami, I am merely here to help." "Just liked you *helped* Samantha and C-Ko!" A-Ko cried. "And what about all the people you've hurt?" "My dear, I must beg forgiveness for such loathsome actions. Violence seems to be only language that those in control can understand. Those such as the Powers That Be..." "I don't believe this!! Pippkin just insulted the forces that oversee this dimension!" JR fumed. Flair shushed him, wanting to hear the rest of Pippkin's speech. Whatever it was, Ric was sure it wouldn't be good. Pippkin smiled as he looked entrancingly up to A-Ko. "... and B-Ko Daitokuji." A-Ko gasped in recognition, and suddenly seemed more attentive to Pippkin's soothing words. Goku looked very, very nervous. "I've heard the tales, A-Ko. All the fights, all the property destruction as a result of your rather frivolous feud with B-Ko. Just once, wouldn't it be nice to enjoy a normal, peaceful day, like any teenaged girl would? I'm sure you would give...*anything*, for such a privilege." A-Ko was absolutely enthralled by the rabbit's tone and soft blue eyes. "I can make a life without B-Ko a reality. I... can set you free." Pippkin had been slowly moving forward the whole time, now directly beside of Goku. The rabbit extended a hand gingerly to the bewildered girl. A-Ko was hesitant at his offer, and as she was about to take his hand... "Girl, I know a guy called Raven who spouts the exact side kinda CRAP!! It's all lies from *him*, and it's all lies NOW!!" The crowd exploded into a thunderous roar as they recognized the peculiar Jersey/Southern accent of the unseen speaker. The outburst broke Pippkin's spell, and A-ko backed hastily away from the rabbit, holding her head. "No!," Pippkin growled in choked anger. "Not him, not now..." The crowd thundered in cheers as a very familiar pro-wrestler stepped literally out of nowhere to stand behind Pippkin's minions, smirking smugly. "MAH GOD!!" JR screamed. "That's Diamond Dallas Page!!" Samantha and Aron were so totally under Pippkin's control that the demented rabbit didn't even have to command his minions to attack. However, the two newcomers were forced stop short when a pair of shimmering pink energy orbs slammed down right in front of them. The orbs exploded spectacularly, kicking up a huge cloud of dust. When the dust finally settled, yet another familiar figure had emerged out of nowhere to stand beside Page. "Sweet Jesus! IT'S BRET HART!!" Tenay cried joyfully. "And what the hell is he doing?!" Flair exclaimed, suddenly jumping out of his seat to get a better view. "Mah God..." Ross breathed. "Hart's learned how to contrive super-powers too!" Samantha and Aron broke and ran towards Pippkin as Page and Bret began to charge up their power auras (blue and hot pink, respectively). Goku had made a point of shielding the shocked and confused A-Ko, but had not otherwise tried to interfere. "Feel the noise!" Page called out as he formed his hands into the famous Diamond Cutter symbol. "DIAMOND EXPLOSION!" A crackling blue bolt of energy shot out from the 'diamond' formed by his hands. "And the Excellence of Execution!" Bret added as he charged another pair of neon-pink energy orbs in his hands. "SHARP SHOT!" He flung the shimmering blasts of pink energy, which swerved unerringly towards his foes. "God, that sounds so *dumb*," he muttered tiredly to himself as he began trying to summon up the strength for a third attack. "Well, you have to yell *something*," Page replied. "Just concentrate on keeping them pinned down!" Samantha and Aron were almost cowering behind Pippkin as the energy attacks exploded around them. "Q!" the psycho-rabbit yelled angrily. "We've got some nuisances to deal with! Go...GYAH!!!" Pippkin couldn't help but scream as he saw his bodyguard felled by a running tackle from none other than Wolf! "Now where the hell did *he* come from?" Flair exclaimed in awed confusion. Wolf, who was inexplicably wearing a headset now, was already beating the sinister super-soldier rodent into the ground. Then Wolf grabbed Q and set him up for a familiar maneuver... "He's not going to...MAH GOD!" JR hollered. "Wolf just bounced him off the *stone* floor with his AK-47!!" Ric exclaimed gleefully. "WHOO!!" Wolf put a hand to his headset and uttered something into it. Two "doors" of energy immediately unfolded in the air, one behind Wolf, the other behind Bret and Page. All three attackers disappeared through the portals, leaving a dazed Samantha and Aron, a *very* unconscious Agent Q, and an enraged Pippkin, who was yanking his own ears in frustration! "What was that? Who was Wolf talking to?" JR looked expectantly to Tenay for nswers. "Umm... the language was Japanese, but I don't know enough to tell you what he said," Tenay said with a shrug. "In any case, it looks like Wolf has acquired some powerful allies." Kiyone casually approached the disaster scene at the entranceway. "Is there a problem?" she asked with a smirk. "HELL YES, THERE'S A PROBLEM!" Samantha shrieked, "We just got attacked and Q is down! We need help!" "Right, fetching medical help...immediately," Kiyone responded with a knowing grin, as she and her cadets strolled into action. An outraged Pippkin ran to confront Goku. The Saiyan stood solidly and fearlessly in front of the mad rabbit. "What the hell was THAT!?" Pippkin swore. "You didn't do *anything*! You're here to *prevent* attacks like that!" Pippkin shoved Goku in frustration, with no results. His voice's volume increasing in rage, he punctuated his next tirade with finger jabs into Goku's broad chest. Pippkin got into Goku's face and yelled "You're *supposed* to *stop* this *kind* of--" At the forth jab, Goku grabbed Pippkin's paw and began slowly squeezing it. Then the mighty Saiyan lifted Pippkin casually off the floor until he could glare into the rabbit's eyes without looking down. Pippkin winced in pain as Goku locked his cold stare on the little fiend. "Well, I guess they just slipped through." Goku coldly noted, as he released Pippkin's wounded hand and dropped him to the floor. Pippkin nearly went into another tantrum as Goku turned away to escort A-Ko back to her seat. But the rabbit regained some composure as he shot hateful looks at the retreating enforcer. "This is *quite* inconvienient," Pippkin growled. "Samantha, you have a match to prepare for. After that, if such *inconvieiences* continue..." Pippkin glares out into the audience, and then smiled wickedly. "Then we switch to Plan B..." CUT TO A COMMERCIAL... [Scene Shows a Self-Instertion Soda in the background and David Kintobar in the foreground] Kintobar: Hello, Good folks! I'm here to tell you about Self-Insertion Soda. It's packed with 3 gallons of nutrasweet and TASSTTTEES GREAT!! And plus, when you drink it, you get Ego points! Here's what you can get with the Ego Point System. [Scene Switch: Crystal Tokyo. Shows Oscar.] Oscar: I drink Self-Insertion Soda Everyday! And with the points I collect, I can get my own book, "Oscar for Dummies", printed for *only* 30 points! But you must the "Gloating" skill first. [Scene Switch: Tuxedo Chris with Sailor Moon and Mars. He is hugging them both.] Chris: I used to be a loser until I had Self-Insertion Soda! Now that I collect points from it, I can get another gal for *only* 50 points! [Scene Switch: DJ Croft from Neon Exodus Evagelion with EVA-01 behind him] DJ: I used to be a loser until I had Self-Insertion soda. Now I am a subject of the British Crown and NERV's top EVA pilot! Also, with the points I collect, I can get Asuka to myself for *only* 40 points! [Scene Switch: Back to first scene] Kintobar: So there you have it. I drink Self-Insertion soda and now I can make even LONGER speeches!! And then I can have a automatic word speech maker of my very own for *only* 70 points! Drink Self-Insertion Now!! Disclaimer Dude: You get .0000000001 point per can. May harm your self-ego. The show returns to the commentator's booth. JR drops back into his seat, awe-struck. "Folks, after the Bane/Myles bout, the most effective assault... hell, the ONLY effective assault I've seen on Pippkin's forces occurred!" JR said, utterly amazed. Ric was thrilled as he added, "It's about time somebody finally got to that rabbit-bastard! Pippkin got a taste of his own medicine! It was a brilliant sneak-attack that made this Horseman proud! WHOOO!" "Indeed, Ric!" Tenay agrees, "It looks as if the ever-persistent Wolf orchestrated this attack, and I, for one, hope that he has more tricks planed for Pippkin!" The announcers were interrupted as Helmet & House of Pain's "Just Another Victim" fired up over the system... JR noted with a hint of sarcasm, "It looks like we're in for another visit from the *lovely* Anne Brandies..." "I don't think so, JR," Ric interrupted. "She looks like she's ready for a fight!" A focused Anne Brandies (better known as Anne Arky to the NPWA fans) slowly maed her way down to ringside. She was dressed in her ring gear, wrestling boots and a black singlet (much like Owen Hart's pre-NOD outfit). Anne grabbed the microphone and began to speak... "Listen up fans! Now in case you didn't notice, I ain't dressed for guest commentary tonight! I'm dressed for a FIGHT! Ya see, Samantha, after your match with Adam Chris Leigh, I'm callin' you out. You and me are gonna have the bloodiest, toughest, most hardcore street fight in history! That's right, Sammy! If you're up to it, and not a coward like your new *boss*, you an' me are gonna get jiggy wit it!" Tenay buried his face in his hands and moaned in agony. "I can't believe she used that *phrase*..." "Sorry, Samantha, but if this is the only way to knock some sense into ya... well, then that's just how it's gonna be," Anne finished. Then she dropped her microphone and headed into the back, a confident grin on her face... "That was a major bombshell, guys!" Tenay exclaimed. "A challenge! We might see Anne "Arky" Brandies and Samantha Jones face off *tonight*!" "But before that, though, we've got a special tag-team match," JR noted. Ric sneered as he said "Yes, that *fine gentleman* Tuxedo Chris has decided to team-up with *The Mally Award Winning God* Taruchi--" "What's with the title?" Tenay asked, for once the clueless one. "Apparently, the faster-than-light god feels like he hasn't been getting enough attention," JR answered. "Anyway, T-MAWG Taruchi and Tux-boy will be going up against Soulstone and her mystery partner. And Soulstone is a lady who's been through a world of pain recently..." Flair trailed off. Cut to footage from the opening round, where Soulstone is transmogrified. "Well, her troubles began when she *became* female at the hands of Tuxedo Chris during his fight with General Patterson" JR's voice- over commented. "Over the past week, Soulstone seems to have grown accustomed to her new form, and has used her newly-gained feminine wiles as an effective weapon." Tenay added as footage showed Soulstone distracting Tuxedo Chris with a revealing clothes, causing him a loss to Kintobor. "But the lowest shot was after her Blue Thunder loss to our Tux-Boy wannabe," Ric growled, as shots of Chris "redressing" Soulstone for their date played. "We all got a good glimpse at what ploys that *gentleman* uses to win the ladies. Fortunately, the one and only Destroyer stopped his perverted plan." The backstory ends with shots of a paralyzed, terrified Soulstone in the arms of Tuxedo Chris, just as Nav ambushes him. "Even worse," JR interrupted, "That letch had the gall to confront Soulstone and her creator at Club Anipike after the match-up!" As the trio discussed the upcoming match, a young anthropomorphic mouse woman approached the booth. She stood roughly 4 feet tall, and wore a conservative dark blue dress with her blonde hair pulled back. Ric greeted the young lady with true Nature Boy style. "Ah, it seems we have a guest...namely the scene-stealing Miss Gadget Hackwrench of 'Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers'. It's a pleasure to have you here!" "Gee, thanks Mr. Flair," Gadget smiled shyly at him. "I've been assigned to help you guys commentate, though I haven't done this before." "Don't worry, Gadget," Tenay comforted her. "It's not really a hard job. Heck, JR and Ric manage to do it..." Tenay trailed off as he felt his fellow announcers glaring at him. "Ahem, ah... right now, though, I'm going back stage to find some info on the Pippkin situation." Tenay cordially offered his chair to Gadget, and then took off for the back. JR asked, "Well, I'm sure a lovely young girl like yourself has had some problems with unwanted attention during your stay in Neo- Tokyo, right Miss Hackwrench?" "Oh, definitely!" she replied with a sigh. "And I thought Chip and Dale were bad! That weirdo Oscar hit on me my first night here, and don't *even* get me started on Jonathan Brisby..." Ric interrupted, "How about Wolf? He seems to be pretty solid." "Mr. Flair, when he first joined our team, he was on this aggressive, super-soldier kick for weeks. He got much better after we and the gang got to know him. He's a nice guy, but the whole commando trip... it just isn't my thing." The Tuxedo Chris version of "I'm Too Sexy" began to play, and the audience rained boos (and trash) down upon Tuxedo Chris as he entered. He is flanked by Taruchi, wearing blue flowing robes and clutching his Silver Mally, and a much less enthusiastic Sailor Molly. Soulstone's orchestrated theme comes on to a thunderous ovation. She strode with purpose to the ring, but... "It looks like Soulstone and her manager General Patterson are having an argument," JR noted as the camera zoomed in closer to hear what was said. "I can't believe you chose him! I know you're upset, but *surely* there was a..." Patterson stopped as Soulstone turned her intense, steel blue eyes to him. "Patterson," she sneered, "After what that bastard did to me..." Soulstone had to stop, practically trembling with rage. "After what he *could have* done to me last week, I *will* see him go down tonight!" With that, she marched to the ring, a dumbstruck Patterson returning back to the dressing rooms. Chris has gained control of the mic by the time Soulstone entered the ring. "So tell me, where *is* this shining knight that will best myself and the Light God? Just who is this *brave* soul who you have chosen to 'regain your honor'?" Tuxedo Chris taunted, receiving a series of insults from around the colosseum. Soulstone, unperturbed, took off her trenchcoat and laid it over a turnbuckle. Then she turned toward Chris and Taruchi. She leaned casually against her corner, and looked up with a knowing grin... Then the distinctive sirens and guitars played, and the crowd erupted in wild cheers. Gadget and JR glanced at each other, absolutely astounded. Ric just looked on, beaming a beatific smile. "No way..." JR uttered. "Oh my..." Gadget gasped. "Oh, *yeah*," Ric concluded with a sly grin. Signs like "The Destroyer: Who's Next?", "The People's Champ!" and "Super-powers? Gimme a f'n chaingun!" sprouted up as Nav strode down the ring. Along with his usual ring attire (camo pants and tank top), The Destroyer wore a black plastic knee brace and carried an aluminum bat in his arms. "Golly! He's still injured from his last match!" Gadget exclaimed. "Should he be fighting?" "Probably not, but sanity has never really played a large role in Nav's life," JR replied. Flair grinned even wider. "Nav's just proving how tough he is... even when he's injured, he won't stay out of the ring!" Tuxedo Chris and Taruchi scrambled out of the ring, as Nav (completely ignoring his partner) walked by and climbed a turnbuckle to play to the crowd. His raised his arms as he silently grinned down at the fans, who immediately broke out into a thunderous "NAV! NAV!" chant. "WHAT IN ODIN HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO!?!" T-MAWG Taruchi hollered, throttling Chris by his tuxedo collar. "You didn't say *he'd* be here!" "There's no way he could have, after what Oscar did to..." Chris' explanation was interrupted as Soulstone and Nav, after springing off the ropes, leapt out of the ring and crashed onto the two hapless Avatars! "MAH GOD! Beautiful double suicide dive!" JR marveled. "I know Nav is a good fighter, but is going to be able to work with Sailor Soulstone? She's a moonie, right?" Gadget asked. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend, at least until he's my enemy again," Ric sagely replied. TAG-TEAM CHALLENGE: Soulstone and Nav vs Tuxedo Chris and The-Mally-Award-Winning-God Taruchi Outside the ring, Nav began stomping down on Tuxedo Chris, while Soulstone launched Taruchi into the railing. "This is completely bizarre! Nav is holding Tuxedo Chris and... high kick in the face from Sailor Soulstone!!" Ross said. "Now the fight's goin' into the ring... it looks like Taruchi and Sailor Soulstone to start," Flair continued. She attempted to launch several strikes at him, but Taruchi was a blur as he nimbly dodged her blows, then grabbed her and launched her across the ring with a monkey flip throw. "Taruchi's much better than I thought he'd be! If Oscar beat him so easily, then there's no way Kintobor can win!" Gadget commented, quickly getting a feel for her new job. "Tuxedo Chris seems to be very happy with his partner's performance... and Sailor Soulstone just made the tag to Nav! Now there's something I never thought I'd hear myself say," JR said. "Come on, Nav! You can do better than that!" Flair said markishly as even the Destroyer was overwhelmed by Taruchi's speed. A swift dropkick from T-MAWG sent Nav flying into a neutral corner. Taruchi followed with a brutal combination of strikes. "Good thing the robo-ref is making Taruchi back away from Nav! He looks hurt!" Gadget said. "But it'll take more than some sissy PAIN to stop HIM!! WHOO!" Flair cheered as Nav suddenly pulled himself up and launched into Taruchi with a spear-style takedown. He proceeded to pound on Taruchi. "Now Nav with a German suplex... and another... and another!! And now a Dragon Suplex for a two count! Who knew Nav could wrestle?" JR marveled. Flair looked a bit teary-eyed as he watched all this. "Chris Benoit would be proud." "Now Taruchi is tagging in Tuxedo Chris, while Nav tags in Sailor Soulstone! They're finally in the ring together!" Gadget enthused. Flair and JR couldn't help but stare at her; she was actually GOOD at this. "Now these two bitter foes are in the ring nose-to-nose..." Ross began as Chris and Soulstone taunted each other. "... and Soulstone with an uppercut! Hit him again! Hit him again!" Flair cheered. Soulstone whipped him into the ropes and delivered a swift dropkick. "MAH GOD!! Now Soulstone with a powerslam! A *good* powerslam! That's incredible strength!" Ross said Then she launched Chris into the ropes and attempted a clothesline. However, Chris narrowly sidestepped. "What?!" Gadget exclaimed. "He's pulling her hair! That can't be legal!" "It may be legal, but it's sure as hell not *right*," Flair growled in reply as Chris used his advantage to force Soulstone to the ground. JR glanced at his co-commentator, and saw a very dangerous glint forming in the Nature Boy's eye. "Soulstone is enraged... who wouldn't be? But Chris still has the advantage, and he's backing Soulstone into the corner with an absolute flurry of punches and kicks..." Ross began. "Eww! He just copped a feel! And again, he did it again!" Gadget screamed. Ross groaned as he saw Chris take opportunities to 'touch' Soulstone with every punch and kick he delivered. "That is absolutely disgusting!" he exclaimed. Ross glanced over to see Ric's face slowly turning red in silent rage. "Well, Soustone is down, and I'm not sure if it's pain or shock," Ross continued. Tuxedo Chris backed away from Soulstone, grinning hugely, and began charging up a final spell. "Oh, it can't end like this!" Gadget protested. "The bad guys can't win!" "Wait a minute! Nav is in the ring!" Ross shouted. Nav simply stepped in between Chris and the downed Soulstone. Coldly meeting Chris' eyes, Nav drew something from a pouch on his belt. In his hand is... "Is that *candy*?" Gadget asked incredulously. Nav calmly tossed a couple of the bite-sized mints into his mouth as he waited for Chris to finish casting. Both Chris and Taruchi glowed faintly, almost imperceptibly. Chris' spell fizzled with a pop, while Taruchi barely managed to remain standing, as if suddenly drained of strength. Chris and Taruchi look at each other, horrified as they realized what was happened. "Just evening out the odds..." Nav sneered, proudly displaying his secret weapon: the unholy power of Mentos. "The Freshmaker!" he added with a devilish grin. "I have nothing to say to that," Ross uttered in shock. When Soulstone recovered, she was almost berserk. She charged the now powerless Tuxedo Chris, who promptly ran from the ring. "It looks like Chris is leaving Taruchi to the *mercy* of his opponents," Ross said dryly. "Of course... leave it to the little coward to run when the odds are *even*," Flair spat. With that, he threw down his headset and charged in Tuxedo Chris' direction. Chris staggered backwards toward the rampway. "This isn't over Nav, not by a *longshot*!" "And especially, for *you*, you tease!" Chris hollered at Soulstone, still backing up. Soulstone perched on a turnbuckle matching his insults... until suddenly her face broke out into a grin. At about the same time, Tuxedo Chris felt himself bump into something. Chris turned to see himself staring one of the announcers in the face, an older man with bleached-blonde hair. Chris never had a chance to say anything. The minute the angry man looked at him, he lashed out a hand and felled Chris with a knife-edged chop. The man (who was none other than Ric Flair, of course) glared down at Chris as he clutched his chest in pain. "So you think you're a real ladies man, don't you, Tux-boy?" Flair sneered. Then he grabbed the near-helpless Chris by his collar. "WELL, I'VE HAD MORE WORLD TITLES THAN YOU'VE HAD PIECES OF ASS!!" Flair screamed angrily into his face. With that, Flair dropped Chris to the ground and applied one of the most painful wrestling holds in existence... the Figure-Four leglock! Soulstone began laughing and cheering as she saw Chris flail helplessly on the ground. "Ooh," Ross winced as he looked on. "I think Ric is out to do some damage." "*Good*," Gadget said darkly. While all this was going on, Nav was gleefully throttling Taruchi in the ring. As Chris flailed and screamed, a massive figure in black power armor and a cape suddenly appeared on the rampway. He looked down at Chris contemptuously. When Sailor Molly came charging up the aisle to break Chris out of the leglock, the dark figure stepped resolutely in her way. "Who is *that*?" Gadget asked. "Wait a minute... I saw him in a promo... MAH GOD!! That's Ankoku!" Ankoku took off his helmet as he faced Sailor Molly. He was a very handsome man, with silver-grey hair and pale blue eyes. In a stern voice, he told Molly, "You see your *beloved* now as he truly is: a braggart, a pervert, and a coward. I see the *true* Molly in you, not the stereotypical senshi *he* has tried to make you into." Sailor Molly was utterly mesmerized by his soothing words. Blinking, she glanced around at her surroundings and attire as if for the first time. "Oh mah gawd! Ewwww!!" she whined. "Wha...what am I doing in this... ewww..." Ankoku approached the now-disenchanted Molly, gently took her head in his hand, and grinned. "Oh wow..." Molly gasped as, with a flick of Ankoku's cape, the two vanished in a swirl of magic. Back in the ring, a powerless and desperate Taruchi fell to a flying knee bash from Nav. "Now Nav is going to the top... and the Desert Eagle Moonsault!!" "One... two... three!!" Gadget counted along with the referee. "Yes! Nav and Sailor Soulstone win!" Bewildered by the scene with Ankoku and Molly (but quite happy about Chris' ongoing torment), Soulstone regained her senses and turned coldly to Nav below. He met her glance, and pulled a large pistol from its holster. In response, Soulstone summoned the Eternity Blade. "Uh-oh... it looks like we're going to have *another* fight here..." Gadget breathed. "I had a feeling this wouldn't last," Ross added. They stared each other down for a few moments. Her blade glimmered, and Nav took aim. Soulstone flipped into the ring as Nav fired, dodging the stunner blast. She landed squarely in front of Nav, and lowered her sword. "STASIS BLADE!!" she called out. Icy winds suddenly flowed around Nav, freezing him in place. Soulstone smiled slyly at the incapacitated Destroyer, leaned in close and whispered "As you said, 'All in due time'." To add insult to injury, she placed a kiss on his cheek before she left the ring. Flair released Chris from the leglock as he saw Sailor Soulstone charge down the aisle. It was Ric's turn to laugh as she chased the gasping, limping Tuxedo Chris into the back. Ric returned back to the announcer's table as arena security arrived to thaw out Nav. "Are you happy now?" JR asked him. "You have no idea," Flair grinned. A dark-haired female mouse roughly Gadget's size and age approached the announcer's booth as well. "How was it, Gadget? Are you all finished?" "Oh, yeah," Gadget replied. She took off her headset and turned to Ric and JR. "That was really fun!" she exclaimed brightly. "If you ever want me to come back, I'll be happy to do it! But now, Caprice and I have to go thank Marta and Ling-Ling for inviting us to that great party last night." Flair and JR exchanged a very bemused glance as Gadget and Caprice headed off. END HOUR ONE [Reply/ReplyAll/Forward] [Delete] [Prev/Next Message] [Close] [-] [Move To] [Click our Sponsor's banner, with Easy Return to Hotmail.] Click here for more information. [In-Box/Compose/Addresses/Folders/Options/LogOut] ---------------------------------------------------------------- © 1996-1998 Hotmail. All Rights Reserved. [Contact Us|Help]