Now look, I don’t have any qualms on any single human. Heck, on a person by person basis we’re on very friendly terms. You take one look at me and go all a-squee, pick me up and scritch me, and even take my picture. And I’m not complaining, I’m very photogenic, don’t mind getting hugged by children—Protip, try not to yank my tail, okay kids—and all the autographs I’ve written inspired me to make this blog in the first place. Oh, case by case, I have a ball.

But I’ve gotta tell ya. As a group, as a dominant species, humanity as a whole? You’re all fricking nuts!

You get into fights with the slightest provocation, toss away perfectly good stuff that is still usable, and it appears that some of you deliberately look for things to angst over.

Oh, the usual shipping debates don’t bother me none. I just laugh at the ones who wanted Fanny to be with Oswald and not with me. But it’s when you’re nitpicking over what’s going on in the parks, that’s where I have to raise my gloved paw and speak up.

Maybe it’s the way I’ve been raised, but you don’t see me angsting much. I grew up in an orphanage at the colony, who was run very well by a femme priest under a…well, I wouldn’t call it a religion, but I did do a little research and found that Miss. Shaw (that’s what I call her) practices something similar to your Buddhism, only with nautical imagery. You can find similarities in several basics: The Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, the concept of Mindfulness, yada yada yada. If you wanted to know more about it, let me know. When you see me sitting down in a meditative pose somewhere in the parks, it’s that version of Buddhism in practice.

And the main point that I want to share with you here, when it comes to the changes in these parks, is that nothing is static. Everything has the capacity of change, and nothing will be the same at any two points of time, at times even between eye blinks. I think that Uncle Walt knew it as well with the line, “Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.”

I think it’ll apply just as well here in Disney World.

I’ve met with Imagineers during my times when Amber takes me backstage in the parks. Nice people once they stop looking for where she puts the batteries in me. They love to find ways to improve on these rides, to them ‘plussing’ is their very own drug. Heck, some of them even tried to plus me! I think I got these new frictionless sneakers by an Imagineer. And they’re always looking for ways to toss in new tech into the shows. Sometimes they work, sometimes they need work. And sometimes the person who designed it just needs help.

But to me it’s nothing for me to fret about. Everything changes, and part of me like to see the changes around me. And I hope these changes will be for the better. Or at least the improvements to the improvements are for the better.

Now that I said that, since some of the folks asked me oh so nicely, (Again, you humans are friendly one on one but totally insane as a group.) here’s my own thoughts on the current crop of improvements.

By far my biggest “What the Heck” moment would be the upcoming Circus area, where the Toontown fair used to be. Big question here: do people go to circuses nowadays? I keep hearing about this Ringling Brothers gig that’s still going about, I’m surprised that they still sell out in arenas. I’d rather see the Tea Party get doubled the way the Dumbo ride is, but that’s just me. Oh, and for the record, I’ve taken out five clowns so far in my dreams. I’ll keep a running total for you all on Twitter.

And while we’re talking about Toontown Fair, Mickey moving to his own place in Main Street is a good idea. He does know magic, and he’s even teaching me a few tricks. I’d like to see them improve on the LCD panels in the future. I heard that the Harry Potter place has better panels, but that’s in “The Place That Must Not Be Named©”

I’d just love to see how good they get that talking Mickey Mouse costume over time. A talking Mickey who knows your name as he does his illusions? That’ll be perfect for that theater place. And have the other costume characters talking as well would be a plus.

I wonder what they’d do to the second area once the Princesses get their places back? I hope it becomes an Oswald wing. And a kiosk on myself? That’ll be all I ask.

On queues. I don’t mind them tweaking at the queues, plenty of you humans need something to keep you busy when you’re standing in line. Believe me, some of you can get scary. However, I’d like to see them focus more on rides and attractions than queues. What they’re doing with the rest of Fantasyland? That’s much better to me.

Side note here: I’ve been contacted with some of the ghosts when I was meditating in Liberty Square, they want their headstones back where they were, guys. Some of them are a bit ticked off.

Here’s an idea they didn’t thought of: You’ve probably heard of David Foxfire. Yeah, that idiot. He’s the one who’s hosting my blog. When he says, “As Mousketeers go, I am Pure Evil,” he’s not kidding. He makes Captain Jack Sparrow look sane. Well, he has this idea on this thrill ride that would be perfect for where they’re putting the Circus tent. Consider it with me, people: A Peter Pan-themed flying coaster. How many of you took one look at these flying coasters and think “a Peter Pan theme would be perfect for such a ride.”

I could go on with the other parks, but those are just a few right on my head. Just some ideas on how the folks running the show can improve on things. And improve them I will while I sit back, eat my cheese and enjoy the world around me. Letting go of all that angst and enjoying the Magic for what it is can be a real uplifting experience. Some of you humans should try it.