STH--Blood and Metal. Issue III By the FoxFire Studios Sonic the Hedgehog (c) Sega of America BAM storyline (c) 1995 David Gonterman Davey Crockett (c) 1995 David Gonterman Packbell (c) ??? Lutherain (c) Emily S. Smith, a.k.a. (((Sonia))) Melanie Heureuchat and Cleo Chameleon (c) Morgan Ingersoll --------------The Story so Far.....-------------- Davey Crockett was originally a human on Earth, a white male from a Southern persuasion, who just lost his left arm in a race riot by an afrocentrist history teacher. He was scraped off where he was supposed to die on by King Acorn, who was exiled to this planet via The Void. King Acorn gave Davey a new left arm through the Roboticizer and offered him a quest: Journey through The Void to the planet Mobius, home of the Sega video game 'Sonic the Hedgehog', and deliver a message to Princess Sally on Knothole; a message that could spell the liberation of that planet. Davey accepted. After making it to Knothole and delivering King Acorn's message, the Freedom Fighters were discussing what to do with Davey; that left arm gives him real-time access to Mobius' cyberspace and access to every computer system on that planet, but it also gives Davey 'the Robotnik look.' This was dissolved by Davey's nice and gentle personality, which contrasts with the brutality he dishes out to Robotnik's forces, which is now commanded by Snivley since Robotnik is currently fled the planet. To further accommodate matters, An appearing power ring transformed Davey into a fox. At this point, the Freedom Fighters had no more objections to inviting him in as one of their own. The next morning proved a rough one as Davey's stomach finally caught up with the rest of him, but he recovered in time to enjoy a picnic with his new-found girlfriend, Sonia Hedgehog. Later in the afternoon, Sally sent Davey on a run to Minoc Grove to fetch some supplies. Sonic and Tails joined the hovercycle-riding courier to show him the ropes of being a Freedom Fighter. Meanwhile, on Robotroplis, Snivley lies in bed, minus 50 Swatbots and his robotic Sonic duplicate, Mecha Sonic, in repairs, wondering just what the flying phrack happened last night. __________________ Ratings: [MA-17] (Mature Audiences Suggested) [NPC] (Not Politically Correct) __________________ Zone Four--Act One "You know what's the best thing about being the boss, Snivley?" Packbell said as he stood next to Snivley's bed. "You can sleep in late after a rough night, or go back to bed and start a day over, and not worry about getting your butt chewed out by someone like Ro-Butt-Nik. And I heard that things didn't go exactly as planned last night, as usual." Snivley was groggy as he crawled out of bed. "Who the phrack let you in?" "Oh, I came in through the vents, like any stinking Freedom Fighter. You know me, Boss. I'll always give you crap." "You better believe that I'm the boss, and don't you ever phracking forget it!" Snivley got a cup of the usual crappy coffee and stood in front of a terminal. "Computer, run surveillance tape of last night. Filename: Crockett." A video tape recording of a human with a robot left arm appearing from The Void was played. "It appears that another player has entered the game." Another monitor showed a snapshot of the human's head and whatever data it had on him at the time. It wasn't much: Just the who, Davey Crockett, and the why: Delivering a message to Princess Sally. "This has King Acorn's name written all over it. He must've known that Robotnik is gone somehow, so that he knew exactly when to send him. What's his game?" Packbell turned to the playback and cringed. "Obviously hardball." He switched on the audio. "No, you fool! Not so early in th--" Both were blasted with a Death Metal guitar lick which accompanied this particular scene in the tape: ___________ [Sung in a fake-prosessed growl] MY MISSION IN LIFE IS TO SEE YOU DIE, JAMNIT I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE I'M THE HARBINGER OF YOUR DEATH I'M YOUR NOOSE--YOUR RAZOR BLADE----- YOUR LETHAL INJECTION I'M SENDING YOU BACK TO OZ, TIN MAN-- IN PIECES!!! With his jetpack blowing flame behind him, Davey Crockett looked like the Avenging Angel as he charged a squad of six Swatbots head on, his eyes glowed an angry red so bright you can't see the eyeballs. Each hand held a rifle that he fired indiscriminately into his quarry. One shot removed a Swat head in a grotesque blossom of metal, oil, and circuitry. Another one got clipped by the knees, toppling it to the ground. A third got in the way of a decapitating clothesline. Crockett landed on the just-crippled Bot with a gut-squishing stomp, sending upwards a geyser of oil that popped the top off like a cork. He growled at his fourth victim and pounced on top of it, knocking it down to the ground. He reached back with his robot arm and dove it right into the Swat's chest, grabbing its oil pump and ripping it out. Davey held the still-functioning robot 'heart' up like a trophy, then dropped it to get at the remaining two Swats. He grabbed Swat #5 by the neck with his left hand and wrung that Swat around like a chicken, knocking #6 off a wall and into his right hand. A panel sprang out from underneath the left forearm and a metallic spear on a cord spat out, snaking around Davey's back and playing 'Alien' with #6 as #5's head fell off because it's neck was squeezed into the diameter of a toothpick. Davey lifted #5 up high above his head, and with a scream that sounded like it came from Hell, he brought the Bot crashing into the camera. COME ON, SAY IT------ ROBOTNIK SUCKS!!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! ___________ The screen went to white noise for a few seconds before showing Davey's standing up to Mecha Sonic, and the subsequent breaking out with even more of the previously viewed carnage, but both Packbell and Snivley were still in shock . "Snivley, my man, that guy is a wacko. He's sick. He's out there like phracking Pluto. He is gone." "Maybe. I think he's just a rookie punk out looking for respect. He needs to be knocked down some, that's for sure. He's probably a Freedom Fighter by now, the Knothole scramblers won't let me pinpoint his location. It would be easier with that robot arm--" An alarm sounded saying that Davey Crockett has been spotted outside of the great forest. "He's headed for Minoc Grove, and going as fast as Sonic!" Snivley got an visual I.D. He took a double take at the large fox riding a hovercycle going 65 km/hour, but the coontail cap and robot left arm was a dead giveaway. "Nice fur coat, Crockett. How'd ya get the blood out?" ______________ Zone Four--Act Two The hovercycle darts in and out of Sonic's wake as the hedgehog zoomed through the trees on the outskirts of the Great Forest. Tails was tucked safely in between Davey and the control panel. "This is way past cool, Uncle Davey! You're going as fast as Sonic on this thing!" "'Uncle' now, eh? You know if anybody's actually clocked that hedgehog?" "I dunno. Nobody has figured out how fast Sonic can actually get." "Well, I guess I have to find out, won't I?" Davey edged the cycle directly behind the blue hedgehog. He acquired a navigational lock on him. A large speed display appeared on the panel. 75 km/hour. The hovercycle slowly accelerated into tailgating area. "Hey, Hedgehog! I thought your name was 'Sonic!' Get it outta first, will ya?" "So you wanna race with me, Big Guy? JUICE TIME!!!" 87 km/hour. Hedgehog and hovercycle floor it. 100 km/hour. 125 km/hour. 200. The nose of the bike crept closer. 275. And closer. 350. "Hey! Don't crowd me, Dave!" 425. "Never heard of drafting, have you?" 475. "If you think you can pass me....." 525. "Face it....." 550. "...Sonic..." 565. "...I can..." 580. "...take more..." 600. "...than you..." "Yeah, but can you stop on a dime?" Sonic slid to a stop. Crockett blown past the hedgehog. A brick wall was dead ahead!!!!! 600 km/hour. 550. "Bail, Prower!!" 500. Tails was thrown into the air. 450. The two-tailed fox spun his brushes to safety. 375. Davey cut off the turbine. 275. Retro-rockets bellow out from the nose. 150. Davey popped a wheelie to put the blowers out in front. 75. "Oh, no!" 50. "I can't look!" 25. The hydraulic stands go down. 10. "He's gonna crash!!" 5. "AAAAAAAA!!!" Zero Kilometers per Hour. The hoverbike lands into a perfect parking spot, with a good meter of fresh Mobian air between the nose section and solid brick, and a centimeter between the forward stand and a 10-Mobian coin. "I don't believe it!" Sonic exclaimed. "he really did stop on a dime!!" Davey stood triumphant. "Thank you, thank you. No need for alarm. I knew exactly what I was doing all the time." "Great, Crockett. Don't get cocky, okay?" "Who, Me?" "Er, Tails, do I act like that." "Oh, no, Sonic. You never stop that far away from the walls. C'mon, Uncle Davey. I know where to get Aunt Sally's stuff." The trio entered the mall area, unaware that they were being watched by a robotic rubber chicken behind a tree. This Bot was joined by a mechanical monkey and a pint-sized tank. "Grounder, the phone." The tank opened up his chest. "Here it is, Scratch." "S.S.S.S.S. Squad to Lord Snivley. We just saw Sonic and Tails go into the Minoc Mall." "Yeah," the monkey added, "and with a giant fox we don't recognize. Looks like a dumb hick to me. " "That's no ordinary dumb hick, Coconuts," Snivley said from the control room of Robotropolis. "His name is Davey Crockett, and he's a new member of the Freedom Fighters. Be sure to give him a good freshman hazing as you get that repulsive hedgehog and that flea-bitten brat of his." "Will do, Lord Snivley!" "'Lord Snivley!' Ha! Never thought I'd see the d--" Snivley cut Coconuts off and turned to Packbell. "The S.S.S.S.S. Squad, Boss? Hardly the bots for the Job. Those three dimwits can't handle Sonic or Tails, and you sicced them on this . . . Psycho? " "Mr. Crockett is becoming too cocky too fast if he thinks he can just step into Mobius like he actually owns the planet. He needs to learn some . . . humility." Snivley turns his back to his underboss. "Besides, those three bots are expendable." "Expendable, you say." Packbell eyes narrow. He looked like he was in deep thought. He faded back and out of the room. ________________ Zone Four--Act Three: By the time Packbell arrived at Minoc Grove, Davey was through with Sally's shopping chores. He also got a few things for himself as well, like a baseball cap with the House of Acorn crest on it. He switched his now-famous racoon tail, which is detachable, to that hat, and gave the old one to Tails, which was close by. "Uncle Davey, what does . . . SIUE mean?" "Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. It's a college I went to when I was still on Earth." */What do you call a redneck with a college education?/* Packbell mused to himself as he hid cloaked in the trees. */A very dangerous man, or in this case, yipper. My guts tell me that he's gonna be more trouble than he's worth. I've gotta study him./* Davey dumped the stuff in the trunk of the hovercycle, quickly catching a can of nuts for Sally before it fell off. */Reaction time's 7 times quicker than average. Humm. Must be those cyborg implants. My sensors indicate that he is partly roboticized, but not all of him that's 'bot. That left arm's actually a computer terminal on steroids . . . oh-oh, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest are here . . ./* Neither Davey or Tails saw the three incoming 'bots. Davey just closed the trunk and activated the security systems, and headed back to the mall with Tails in tow. As he went, however, he was looking around him. "Hey, Tails, you feel like you're being watched?" "Ummm, I dunno. Something's wrong?" "I dunno either. Something's got me running a bit paranoid. I'll check the scanner." David held his right hand to his head as his eyes glowed again. */His eyes must double as computer terminals to be glowing like that. Good thing I've got a stealth mode. I don't want to confront him yet . . . /* "Drat, It's so buzy in here that I can't get a good fix on any bot activity, but I do detect a tall cat and a chameleon coming this way. Must be Mel and Cleo." And it was. Cleo rushed the two-tailed furball. "Hi, Tails!" Tails managed to return the 'hello' before being crunched in a bearhug. About the same time, Davey tapped on his right arm, and a song belted out. Davey took a title track from a pro-wrestler and spliced in Amy Rose and Tails' voices: I think I'm cute/I know I'm sexy/I've got the feeling/up an down my spine.... "DAVEY!!! STOP THAT!!! I'M DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT HERE!!!" I'm just a sexy boy (sexy boy)/I'm not your boy toy (boy toy) "ARRRRRRRGH!!!!" Tails ran out of the scene as Davey and Melanie were laughing. Packbell was too, inwardly. As the two followed the beleaguered 10-year-old, they were themselves being tailed by Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts. Scratch went to see what was in that trunk and was promptly electrocuted. */Smart thinking, Crockett. Waitaminute, what's that bamfing in?/* A falcon with a red cape appeared out of nowhere. It was Lutherain, the familiar of Sonia Hedgehog, someone Packbell knows too well; after all, he was the one that did the half-done roboticization on her. The falcon swooped down and nestled on Davey's shoulder. */I'll be damned. Sonia's warming up on him? This I've gotta see./* Packbell leapt to the rooftops and followed the entire scene unfolding. ________________ Melanie was joined by Antoine as Davey stopped by a Card and Flower shop and telepathically said to Lutherain. */I wanna get something for Suni, but I don't know what. Any suggestions, Luth?/* */Oh, the usual. Flowers, perfume, a card . . . I'd say candies, buy it's a bit warm for that. Wine's out too, with Suni being a minor still. I was wondering, Dave, what would you do back home when you fall in love?/* */Heck, I'd just spray paint her name on a water tower./* Lutherain crackled out loud. He's heard Davey's 'redneck' routines before. He especially likes the 'Redneck Test' created by this Jeff Foxworthy guy to find out if you are one, since you can't tell by listening for accents. If you can answer 'Yes' to at least seven of these questions, then you just might be a redneck. If you can't count that far, you get an automatic mention. . . "Oui," Antoine interjected into the shared musings. "Would you like zome flowerz or ze candeez for the girl of your dreamz, or will you zettle for ze Krylon?" Davey laughed. "Nah, Ant. There's no overpasses around Knothole. . . A-ha." He eyed a bottle of Mystic brand perfume that was within his budget. "This will do." He had it gift-wrapped with a card included. He signed it with a racoon tail. */That'll show Suni who's that from. Who else wears a coontail cap--waitaminute, what's that outside?/* Sonic was found dressed up as a mall cop, harassing a robot chicken, monkey, and toy tank. */The bot's names are Scratch, Coconuts, and Grounder, respectively. They're known as the S.S.S.S.S. Squad./* */S.S.S.S.S. Squad?/* */Super Stinky Smelly Stupid Slow-Mo Squad./* */Good one, Lutherain./* "Waitaminute! We're not stupid! That's no mall cop, that's Sonic!" "Get him!" "Oh-oh, Sonic's been 'made.'" Three robots piled on Sonic, who merely wiggled out of the heap of metal as the bots argued it out amongst themselves for about 15 seconds. Davey handed the present to Antoine. "Hold this, Ant. This won't take more than a minute." "Good luck, mon ami." ___________ Clop-Clop-Clop-Clop-Clop. . . Three bots noticed the approaching footsteps and looked up at the tall orange fox entering the fray. "Hey, my man--er, hedgehog. These bot's giving you crap?" The fox looked like he means business by the way he was dressed; an 'uniform' he got himself in the stores: Earthling Levis tucked into boots. Two laser pistols holstered at the hips and The Power Rifle--another toy he brought with himself over The Void, if anyone in the scene cared to ask--behind the back. The Y-shaped suspenders with the Acorn icon in the middle. The cyborg left arm expanded into 'Combat Mode.' And then the eyes, ruby quartz red and glowing like a pair of sunsets. Davey Crockett thought of colored contacts, but Suni thought they looked cool enough the way they are; they reminded her of Scott Summers' eyeballs. "Hey, nothing I can't handle, Big Daddy. I can handle these Badniks any old day." "Then would you mind if I join you? If I don't kill at least one bot in a day, I'm afraid I'll just spoil." "H-h-h-h-hey," Scratch stammered, as he almost figured out who's just joining in the game. "Y-y-you're not that new--" "Yes, I am." Crockett advanced toward the robot chicken. Sonic smiled. "Check this out Tails, the good part's coming up. This is where robot parts start flying and the oil starts spray--" Suddenly, Sonic looked surprised. "Behind you, Dave!" The feeling was mutual in Lutherain. */Oh, crud. It's Packbell!!/* Neither of them got a chance to finish their lines before Packbell dropped on top of Davey Crockett and sunk his arms around Davey's head in a sleeper hold! "Think you could just waltz into the place and save the world, Rookie? Can't have that from my side, mister. Imagine what Suni would feel with her newly-beloved cyborg boyfriend being delivered to her in a pizza box? Heh-heh-heh-heh!" _______________You're going to hate me for this, but this issue's getting too long to take in all at once, and I just couldn't miss just using Packie as a cliffhanger. But rest assured, True Believers--I ROBOTICIZED SCOTT LOBDELL TO SERVE MY MASTER, STAN-LEE >;-{>--ahem--The King of Mobius' Cyber Frontier will be very good and pissed off by the time Blood and Metal IV gets cleared by the AOL archive bots; until that time, we must say..... To Be Continued.... FoxFire Studios .....and now, the crap at the bottom of every one of my files, where I like to use as a letters page, only I can't seem to get any fan mail to put in here other then (((Sonia))) telling me that I'm the best thing to happen to Mobius since Sonic Maurice Hedgehog. (What was your mother smoking, Blue?!?!), so . . . what do you think of this story so far? By the time I'm writing this, Chapters I and II are in the archives, as well as the Piasa origin story? Like it? Hate it? Think I'm cool? Hate my guts? Think I need more time to gain some respect on American On-Line? Think AOL is the Devil's Playground? E-Mail me at [dgonterman@aol.com], or talk to Davey Crockett directly. His only existing link to the planet he's from can be accessed at [DCROCKETFF@aol.com] Alright, my progress with the rat.org WWW page.....I think someone mentioned it in my E-Mail, but the letter was garbled. (Dang AOL bots!) I have the TEXT version of BAM I in Brookshire's Web page. It can be accessed under 'Sonic the Hedgehog' in the [http://rat.org] Web page. We've been working on an HTML Deluxe version with artwork by moi, but the WordPerfect file I was working with was simply not cooperating, especially with the graphics. By this time, I acquired several graphics programs, including Fractal Paint, as well as the WordPerfect Internet Publisher. So, I redid the graphics, and I must confess, they are killer!; and I redid the Deluxe Edition as an HTML file. I E-Mailed the resulting ZIP to Rotor, who's manning, er, warlusing, that Web Page. The address for Blood And Metal I-- The Deluxe Edition, will be [http://rat.org/bookshire/story1/bam.html]. The official Web Page for Blood and Metal, where you can get the more recent chapters before the AOL archives, or even E-Mail, will be [http://users.aol.com/dgonterman/home.html] See ya next time......David Gonterman (dgonterman@aol.com)....woops, better lay off the C|NET....