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The trio entered the mall area, unaware that they were being watched by a robotic rubber chicken behind a tree. This Bot was joined by a mechanical monkey and a pint-sized tank.
"Grounder, the phone." The tank opened up his chest. "Here it is, Scratch." "S.S.S.S.S. Squad to Lord Snivley. We just saw Sonic and Tails go into the Minoc Mall." "Yeah," the monkey added, "and with a giant fox we don't recognize. Looks like a dumb hick to me. <chuckles>"
"That's no ordinary dumb hick, Coconuts," Snivley said from the control room of Robotropolis. "His name is Davey Crockett, and he's a new member of the Freedom Fighters. Be sure to give him a good freshman hazing as you get that repulsive hedgehog and that flea-bitten brat of his."
"Will do, Lord Snivley!" "'Lord Snivley!' Ha! Never thought I'd see the d--"
Snivley cut Coconuts off and turned to Packbell.
"The S.S.S.S.S. Squad, Boss? Hardly the bots for the Job. Those three dimwits can't handle Sonic or Tails, and you sicced them on this . . . Psycho? <Points to Davey's human pic>"
"Mr. Crockett is becoming too cocky too fast if he thinks he can just step into Mobius like he actually owns the planet. He needs to learn some . . . humility." Snivley turns his back to his underboss. "Besides, those three bots are expendable."
"Expendable, you say." Packbell eyes narrow. He looked like he was in deep thought. He faded back and out of the room.
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By the time Packbell arrived at Minoc Grove, Davey was through with Sally's shopping chores. He also got a few things for himself as well, like a baseball cap with the House of Acorn crest on it. He switched his now famous racoon tail, which is detachable, to that hat, and gave the old one to Tails, which was close by. "Uncle Davey, what does . . . SIUE mean?"
"Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville. It's a college I went to when I was still on Earth."
What do you call a redneck with a college education? Packbell mused to himself as he hid cloaked in the trees. A very dangerous man, or in this case, yipper. My guts tell me that he's gonna be more trouble than he's worth. I've gotta study him.
Davey dumped the stuff in the trunk of the hovercycle, quickly catching a can of nuts for Sally before it fell off. Reaction time's 7 times quicker than average. Humm. Must be those cyborg implants. My sensors indicate that he is partly roboticized, but not all of him that's 'bot. That left arm's actually a computer terminal on steroids . . . oh-oh, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest are here . . .
Neither Davey or Tails saw the three incoming 'bots. Davey just closed the trunk and activated the security systems, and headed back to the mall with Tails in tow. As he went, however, he was looking around him. "Hey, Tails, you feel like you're being watched?"
"Ummm, I dunno. Something's wrong?"
"I dunno either. Something's got me running a bit paranoid. I'll check the scanner." David held his right hand to his head as his eyes glowed again. His eyes must double as computer terminals to be glowing like that. Good thing I've got a stealth mode. I don't want to confront him yet . . .
"Drat, It's so buzy in here that I can't get a good fix on any bot activity, but I do detect a tall cat and a chameleon coming this way. Must be Mel and Cleo."
And it was. Cleo rushed the two-tailed furball. "Hi, Tails!" Tails managed to return the 'hello' before being crunched in a bearhug. About the same time, Davey tapped on his right arm, and a song belted out. Davey took a title track from a pro-wrestler and spliced in Amy Rose and Tails' voices: I think I'm cute/I know I'm sexy/I've got the feeling/up an down my spine....
"DAVEY!!! STOP THAT!!! I'M DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT HERE!!!"
I'm just a sexy boy (sexy boy)/I'm not your boy toy (boy toy)
"ARRRRRRRGH!!!!" Tails ran out of the scene as Davey and Melanie were laughing. Packbell was too, inwardly. As the two followed the beleaguered 10-year-old, they were themselves being tailed by Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts. Scratch went to see what was in that trunk and was promptly electrocuted. Smart thinking, Crockett. Waitaminute, what's that bamfing in? A falcon with a red cape appeared out of nowhere. It was Lutherain, the familiar of Sonia Hedgehog, someone Packbell knows too well; after all, he was the one that did the half-done roboticization on her. The falcon swooped down and nestled on Davey's shoulder. I'll be damned. Sonia's warming up on him? This I've gotta see. Packbell leapt to the rooftops and followed the entire scene unfolding.
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Melanie was joined by Antoine as Davey stopped by a Card and Flower shop and telepathically said to Lutherain. 'I wanna get something for Suni, but I don't know what. Any suggestions, Luth?'
'Oh, the usual. Flowers, perfume, a card . . . I'd say candies, buy it's a bit warm for that. Wine's out too, with Suni being a minor still. I was wondering, Dave, what would you do back home when you fall in love?'
'Heck, I'd just spray paint her name on a water tower.'
Lutherain crackled out loud. He's heard Davey's 'redneck' routines before. He especially likes the 'Redneck Test' created by this Jeff Foxworthy guy to find out if you are one, since you can't tell by listening for accents. If you can answer 'Yes' to at least seven of these questions, then you just might be a redneck. If you can't count that far, you get an automatic mention. . .
"Oui," Antoine interjected into the shared musings. "Would you like zome flowerz or ze candeez for the girl of your dreamz, or will you zettle for ze Krylon?"
Davey laughed. "Nah, Ant. There's no overpasses around Knothole. . . A-ha." He eyed a bottle of Mystic brand perfume that was within his budget. "This will do." He had it gift-wrapped with a card included. He signed it with a racoon tail. 'That'll show Suni who's that from. Who else wears a coontail cap--waitaminute, what's that outside?'
Sonic was found dressed up as a mall cop, harassing a robot chicken, monkey, and toy tank. 'The bot's names are Scratch, Coconuts, and Grounder, respectively. They're known as the S.S.S.S.S.Squad.'
'S.S.S.S.S. Squad?'
'Super Stinky Smelly Stupid Slow-Mo Squad.'
'Good one, Lutherain.'
"Waitaminute! We're not stupid! That's no mall cop, that's Sonic!" "Get him!"
"Oh-oh, Sonic's been 'made.'"
Three robots piled on Sonic, who merely wiggled out of the heap of metal as the bots argued it out amongst themselves for about 15 seconds.
Davey handed the present to Antoine. "Hold this, Ant. This won't take more than a minute."
"Good luck, mon ami."
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Clop-Clop-Clop-Clop-Clop. . .
Three bots noticed the approaching footsteps and looked up at the tall orange fox entering the fray. "Hey, my man--er, hedgehog. These bot's giving you crap?" The fox looked like he means business by the way he was dressed; an 'uniform' he got himself in the stores: Earthling Levis tucked into boots. Two laser pistols holstered at the hips and The Power Rifle-- another toy he brought with himself over The Void, if anyone in the scene cared to ask--behind the back. The Y-shaped suspenders with the Acorn icon in the middle. The cyborg left arm expanded into 'Combat Mode.' And then the eyes, ruby quartz red and glowing like a pair of sunsets. Davey Crockett thought of colored contacts, but Suni thought they looked cool enough the way they are; they reminded her of Scott Summers' eyeballs.
"Hey, nothing I can't handle, Big Daddy. I can handle these Badniks any old day."
"Then would you mind if I join you? If I don't kill at least one bot in a day, I'm afraid I'll just spoil."
"H-h-h-h-hey," Scratch stammered, as he almost figured out who's just joining in the game. "Y-y-you're not that new--"
"Yes, I am." Crockett advanced toward the robot chicken. Sonic smiled. "Check this out Tails, the good part's coming up. This is where robot parts start flying and the oil starts spray--" Suddenly, Sonic looked surprised. "Behind you, Dave!"
The feeling was mutual in Lutherain. Oh, crud. It's Packbell!!
Neither of them got a chance to finish their lines before Packbell dropped on top of Davey Crockett and sunk his arms around Davey's head in a sleeper hold! "Think you could just waltz into the place and save the world, Rookie? Can't have that from my side, mister. Imagine what Suni would feel with her newly-beloved cyborg boyfriend being delivered to her in a pizza box? Heh-heh-heh-heh!"
All of the sudden, Davey's eyes glow red. Gritted teeth show a new surge of hardness.
If you look closely, text caqn be seen on his left arm, the same text that
glares in his vision.
Davey Crockett is now in "Kick Bot Mode:"
ALERT---UNIT UNDER ATTACK BY: ANDROID DESIGNATE: PACKBELL
METHOD OF ATTACK: SUBMISSION HOLD
BLOOD FLOW TO CPU RESTRICTED TO 75%
REINFORCING NECK REGION TO COMPENSATE...
Davey's neck begins to expand under Packbell's arms. The android
notices this: "What the Phrack?"
BLOOD FLOW STABILIZING
BODY BANK STATUS: FULLY CHARGED
SUGGESTED PLAN: BREAK PACKBELL'S HOLD
SUGGESTED ACTION: JACK HIS JAW
PROCESSING...
Davey grabbed Packbell's head with both hands, moved that head above
his own, and dropped to his posterior. Davey's head got in the way of
Packbell's jaw. "OW!" He let one arm go to nurse his chin.
DAMAGE TO PACKBELL: 10%
BODY BANK STATUS: RECHARGING AT 82%
SUGGESTED ACTION: SHOULDER TOSS
AMPLIFYING PULSE AND ... PROCESSING...
Davey grabbed Packbell again and threw him over his robot shoulder,
landing the droid three meters in front of the borg.
DAMAGE TO PACKBELL: 15%
BODY BANK STATUS: RECHARGING AT 75%
SWITCHING TO POWER RIFLE: TARGETING MODE:
<Crosshairs appeared in Davey's field of vision, moving on Packbell and
locking on.>
PACKBELL TARGETED...
Davey looked down Packbell through rifle sights, "Deliver me to Sonia in a pizza box, eh? I can't have that, can I? Maybe I should give her your head with that perfume?" He them turned to the other three bots. "I may be new to Mobius, but last time I checked, hazing is a felony."
"H-H-How'd you know?"
"About the hazing? Scratch, you're addressing someone with one arm in cyberspace, one eye in virtual reality! Anything going through Mobius' Information Superhighway I see and hear omnisciently! Snivley can't even sneeze without me noticing!! In fact, I knew where all four of you were the moment I stepped in here, but I didn't want to make a scene!"
"Whoa." "If 'Information is Power'. . . " "Sacre Bleu Cheez! Hez an electronic onmipath!" "Must be awfully crowded in his head."
"So you think you're a god, eh?" Packbell's right arm morphs into a gun. "Let's see you die and come back in three days!!"
"Go lube yourself, Packie!" Davey opened fire, punching a hole in Packbell's right arm, which flowed back in one piece liquidly. "What the phrack are you?! The T-1000?!?"
"Who's the T-1000, rookie?"
WARNING--PACKBELL HAS TARGET LOCK
SWITCHING POWER RIFLE TO PATRIOT MODE
"Never mind. . ."
Packbell opened with a barrage of laser fire at Davey, but his return volley took out all of Packbell's shots before they reached a meter.
". . . Private joke."
Packbell was impressed. "Your reaction time is non-existent, Dave. Are you perhaps an android like myself?"
"Only that anyone even partially robotic are, Packbell." Davey set the
rifle on a magnetic strap on his holster belt. "But if you think that I was
created artificially, you are dead wrong." Borg and droid charged each
other. "My heart is flesh." Davey throws a punch into Packbell's guts.
"My spirit, human." An uppercut snaps back the head. "And my mind. . . "
Davey lifts Packbell up high above his head. "Beyond comprehension!" He
throws his victim into Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts.
CURRENT POWER LEVELS INSUFFICIENT IN NEUTRALIZING THREAT:
MORE POWER REQUIRED.
NEAREST SOURCE: SONIC'S POWER RING
"Sonic," Davey shouts with a headlock on Packbell, "pass the ring!"
Sonic reaches for the ring and fades back and forth, trying to find a good throwing position. "No good, dude, I'm blocked."
"Try for a bank shot . . ."
<The view flashed into virtual reality polygons and moved up to the air. Looking down, several paths were flashed until one is decided on.>
". . . Off the fountain, behind Antoine, between Scratch and Grounder, nothing but net!"
Sonic throws. Packbell frees himself from Davey's hold.
Off the Fountain. Sonic gets sacked by Scratch. Davey gives Packbell a good hard kick in the crouch. Every male in the scene holds their own in pain.Behind Antoine. "Yiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!" "I got it!" "No, I got it!" Davey re-grabs his Power Rifle.
Between Grounder . . . He reaches for the ring. . . BLAM! . . . Grounder's arm is shot off.
. . . and Coconuts. He reaches for the ring. . . BLAM! . . . Coconuts' arm is shot off.
Davey scrambles to receive the ring. Packbell tries to block. Davey's left arm gets in Packbell's face as the right arm reaches out for the magical golden hoop . . .
". . . and the catch is . . . . . "
"GOOD!!! ALRIGHT, BIG DADDY!! GO RAMS!! GO RAMS!!!"
Nova. Packbell gets thrown back. The sound of a tornado. The fur a
fiery gold. The eyes a blinding white.
NECESSARY POWER LEVEL ACHIEVED
TARGETING PACKBELL.....
<a large and red 'FINISH HIM!' can be seen>
A chant of 'FINISH HIM!' can be heard from the chanting crowd.
"SEE YOU IN HELL, PACKIE!"
"oh, sh--"
Davey pulls the trigger.
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Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts went to pieces in a lightning bolt half a meter wide coming from that rifle. A burst of oil splattered the air in a 5-meter cubic area.
The crowd goes wild! "Crockett Wins!!!! FATALITY!!!" "Crockett!!! Crockett!!! Crockett!!!--"
"HOLD IT!!!" The crowd goes silent. "I missed one." Davey points upward.
"Whiffer!" Packbell managed to leap to safety at the last nano-second.
"Man," Davey says through gritted teeth. "This one's good."
"As you are, Crockett!" Packbell fans his smoking rear end. "I finally found a rebel worthy of my talent. We will meet again. . . <begins to sing> . . . Davey, Davey Crockett, King of the Cyber Frontier. . . "
Packbell disappears from sight as Lutherain lands on Davey's shoulder. *The one thing about that one, his ruthlessness knows no bounds. Don't worry, you'll get another chance*
*I'm counting on it, Luth.* Davey acknowledges the crowd.
"Da Winner, and New Champeen--Davey 'The Cyberfox' Crockett!!!" Sonic gives him a high-five.