Author Subject 
Shorty the Commander of Pointless  
Regular and
Boss Type Dude
posts: 40
(9/17/00 2:06:09 pm)
 Handle with care! (FANFIC) Part Eins.
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Well, here I am to take up my fanfiction writing pen again, to put some sort of fun back into fanfic writing cos' lets face it they've been running on empty lately.

Handle with care!

[TPCG headquaters]

SHORTY: Mmmm... now time for some sweet, sweet Dr. Pepper before my third lunch... What the? Mac, what the hell is going on?
H. MAC: The mail arrived! The maaaaail!! POST! MAIL! PACKAGES! [drools]
SHORTY: So I take it the mail's arrived?
RIOCHET: [Walks on] Hey, dude. Why the hell is the carpert covered in Mac's drool?
SHORTY: Well, the mail's arrived and I think he's a little excited.
LIL HEDGIE: [pokes her head round the door] Hey, did some say the mail's arrived?
SHORTY: Yeah, but I don't think--
LIL HEDGIE: [runs over knocking over SHORTY] Woop woop woop!
SHORTY: [flatened on the floor] -- that there's anything for you.
LIL HEDGIE: [rummaging through the parcels] It must be here! It's nearly time!!
SHORTY: Nearly time for what? Will someone please tell me what's going on?
DAVID: Bwhahahah... I am lurker, feel me lurk.
SHORTY: Ugh, no thanks... And where did you spring from anyway?
DAVID: Places.
SHORTY: Meaning? 
DAVID: China Land.
SHORTY: China Land? Wasn't that destroyed in the great fan character war?
DAVID: Nah, your thinking of Penders Land. Anyway, I got beaten up by Kuckles and Knuckle for saying the pie sucked.
SHORTY: Hey, intially aren't they YOUR characters?
DAVID: Well, yeah. If you want to go into all that techinical stuff about intial and intially.
SHORTY: Dave, stop talking garbage.
DAVID: Yes, sir.
LIL HEDGIE: [squeals] It came!
RIOCHET: What came?! What?! What?! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!
LIL HEDGIE: My package! [more squeals; and then she runs up to her room and slams the door]
H. MAC: What the hell was that all about?
SHORTY: I dunno. Who cares?
[SHORTY, DAVID and H. MAC all depart leaving RIOCHET on his own]
RIOCHET: I care! Me!! The big red! Well actually, I'm the SMALL red techinically.. Well, that's only when SoKnuck's around. So, I'm the big red at the moment! Will someone tell me why that package is looking at me?

[Later. H. MAC approaches SONKNUCK who is watching the SONIC ANIME]

H. MAC: You know what?
SONKNUCK: [bored] No. What?
H. MAC: Guess what it says on this package!
SONKNUCK: [sighs heavly] I don't have a clue.
H. MAC: It says "Handle with Care". Now what do you suppose that means?
SONKNUCK: How the smeg should I know, ask someone who cares or is completely bored. Like TL, he's the The Lord of Boredom right?
H. MAC: No, not anymore. Remember?
SONKNUCK: No.
[pause; H. MAC drums his fingers on the box]
H. MAC: Sooooooooooo.... should I open it?
[pause] SonKnuck?
SONKNUCK: [snoring; he's asleep]

[The evil new super duper bad guy underground hole]

AJ: Bwhahahahhhahahah!! I'M SO EVIL, EVEN I HATE ME!!
ANDRÉ: What have you done now great supremeness?
AJ: Bwhahahhahhahah!! I've just come up with greatest scheme ever made that's all!!
ANDRÉ: Oh well. Good. I'm gonna take a dip in the pook, K?
AJ: Pool? POOL?! I DID NOT ORDER ANYONE TO BUILD A POOL!!
ANDRÉ: Well, Zac did it, mate, so please don't hit me! [cringes]
AJ: [winds his fist up and stops] Ah, what's the fun if your expecting it... [shrugs] ZAAAAC!!
ZAC: You called, your Anti-SAness?
AJ: Why have you built a pool in TNSDBGUH?!
ZAC: Whoah... That names a bit of a handful isn't? I just call it base.
AJ: THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!
ZAC: Sheesh, take a pill, old boy. Okay, the reason I built it was so memebers of the base-- I mean TNSDBGUH, can relax and enjoy each other's company!
AJ: Oh for cripes sake, we're supposed to be evil villians!! NOT SOME SORT OF SAD POOL PARTY MEMBERS!!
ZAC: Well, I think it's a great success.
AJ: Oh well, at least it makes a change from bringing deep hurting to the world. Now, who want to hear my evil plan? André?

END OF PART EINS