PoKE'MON Baseball! Part One of Four: I choose you! To be beheaded... [Scene: A lab; A ten year old boy is sitting a darkened room.] Ten year old boy: ARGH! Why does not TPCG respect me! I am TSP! I am so great that I have no real nick name! I am so retarded that I can't spell propley! Argh! But that'll change... (A beam of light shines over a massive monster) Ten year old boy: .... isn't that right, my friend! [Scene: TPCG; Shorty is looking bored] Shorty: I'm bored! [I said that already!] Shorty: All right! Hmmmm... (Shouting) WHO WANTS TO PLAY POKE'MON BASEBALL!? Ami: Sure, why not? Riochet: Me! Meeee! Seven: Yeah, sounds like fun! Shorty: Alright! Edge you be our catcher! Edge: But I'm a freakin' ghost! I've told you that already! Shorty: Uh, right. Ami: Uh, Shorty, How exactly do we play Poke'mon Baseball? Shorty: *Smiles* Glad you asked... Excuse me a min! (Grabs Tails from SEGA Sonic.net) Tails: Hey what am I doing here!? Shorty: (Takes Tails' Chainsaw) Ta muchly! Tails: Hey! That's mine! Give that back! Shorty: In a minute! (Calls over a Jiggly Puff) Here Jiggly Puff! Here! Jiggly Puff: *Singing* Jiggly Puff? Shorty: (Turns on chainsaw) Aha! Seven: Is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do? Edge: I think so... Seven: Cool! Shorty: (Sawes of Jiggly Puff's head) Oh yeah! (Catches it) Ami: Man, that is SICK! Shorty: The rules are simple my friends.... We play like normal Baseball except... That everyone lets me win. All: *Frowns* Tails: Uh, what am I still doing here? Shorty: (Gives him Chainsaw) Here.. go, go! Tails: Okay, Okay! Yeesh! I'm gone already! Edge: There are two problems as I see it... 1) We have no one to play against and 2) Did I mention I'M DEAD!!?? Shorty: I know! I know! Yeeeesh! Stop ######in' already! But you do have a good point on who to play... Voice: I'lL pLaY u! All but Voice: UH? (Looks around) TSP: YeS iT iS i TsP! i WiLl PlAy YoUr GaMe Of PoKeMoN bAsEbAlL! Shorty: Oh yeaaaaah! I know you! Your the guy that cleans the public toilets and then spunks all over them and then has to clean them! TSP: sHuT uP! hOw DiD u No AbOuT tHaT!? Seven: Will someone tell me what this guy is saying? TSP: Are u happie noww? Seven: No. TSP: Here is mi teem. Docotor Eggmaan. Dr. Eggman: *Bows* (In Japanese) I am your nightmare... TSP: .... An Meetalicks (Metal Sonic)... Mettalix: 97% chance of TSP's team winning.. TSP: .... Evil Shorty.... Evil Shorty: Rahahahhaha! Shorty: YOU! But wait a min... How can we be one time, together... Eggman: (In Japanese) It's very simple.. Blah blah blah blah blah-di blah.... TSP: .... Seeeeraaaaa... (From the Sonime) Sera: I waaaant candy! Get me candy! TSP: ..... Sally.... Sally: Nicole! Nicole! Tell me what's happening I'm too dumb to think! Shorty: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... Ishkin. TSP: .... and Ken Penders! Ken: Yeah... I love Sonic and sally.... I think I'll go kill them.... All but Baddies: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... Not, the worst writer in Sth! TSP: (Trying to be evil) We will crush u....... Shorty: Yeah, Yeah, That's all fine and Dandy but first here's our team! Me! And Seven... Seven: Mmmmmmm... Chocolate... Shorty: .... Edge our catcher.... Edge: I told you already I can't be your catcher I'm a FREAKIN' GHOST!! Shorty: .... Riochet.... Riochet: My mommy says that "When a drunk man is cussing he is actually praying in his own special way!" Shorty: ..... Sonique..... Sonique: The Perfect Chaos Gang will prevail! Shorty: ...... Dezmond...... Dez: ***** you TSP! *****!! Shorty: ...... Ami...... Ami: I'm soooooooooooooooo cute! Shorty: And Mike Shaffer! Mike: Let's battle! TO BE CONTIUED..... Sev' I choose you! To contiue this! POKE'MON BASEBALL ----------------- Part Two: Playing the field /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Written by Neil "J for Jenius" Lafrenais AKA: Shorty \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ [Scene: TPCG Baseball field; Ami, Shorty and the other's are all training while the bad guys are planin' somethin' bad] Shorty: Okay, Ami! CATCH! Ami: *Makes a feeble attempt at catching the ball* Oh s***! Shorty: Hahahahah! You catch like Eggman! Ami: *Grabs Shorty by the scruff of his neck* Shut. Up. Shorty: okokidontwannadie.... [Meanwhile in the huddle, lets see what those no goodnik's are planning shall we?] Sera: I want CANDY! Why won't anyone get me CANDDY!? Eggman: (In Japanese) Oh why don't you shut up, Sera?! Mettalix: 99% chance of Sera shutting up... (Stuff's a tennis ball in her mouth) Sera: Mppphhhh mppppphhhhhh!! TSP: Know that bicth had stup up, we cun plin... Evil Shorty: Rahahahahhahah! Sally: Nicole! Nicole! Where's Nicole? TSP: STUP PU! I only hat tim to get u! SallY: Oh okaaay! Ken: I suggest for starters we kill Sonic and Sally and then kill Mobius! Hehhehhehheeehheheeh! Sally: Shut up! I love my Sonic very much! *Hits Ken Penders with a magazine reading "Bossy ###### monthly"* TSP: KNOW! This is wat we do..... *Starts whispering* E.Shorty: Rahahhahahahhaha! [Scene: Commentator's box: TLoB Echidna and C-VIRUS are in the commentating seats] TLoB: Well it looks like a stunning game were gonna have here today, Don't you think, C-VIRUS? C-VIRUS: Yes.. Indeed quite a day... *Phone rings* Excuse me... *Picks up Phone* Hello C-VIRUS, Leader of Computer Hell.. How may I be of service........ No! Are you sure? *Pauses* Yeah...... Hmmmmmm..... Well I'll kill her when I get ba..... Oh no.... She hasn't? She has...... Oh I'll be back as soon as I host this Basesball mat..... No you can't have a raise! *Slams down phone* Sorry, A..... Incident happened at work... [Scene: TPCG Baseball field; Sonique and TSP face each other] TSP: We bat frisrt! Sonique: Knock yer self out... [On another bit of the field..] Ami: Hey, Shorty... Can Kefka play too? Shorty: *Looks down on the Chao and mistakes it for a Poke'mon* Aaaah! Where's me chainsaw!? Ami: Shorty, Shorty..... Chill! It's a Chao... Shorty: Oh. No he can't play... Kefka: *A bit tornado appears over his head* Ami: *Bends down* Awwwww... It's alright... Mommy's here.... *Picks up Kefka and hugs him* Kefka: *A large heart appears above his head* Shorty: Just put him down..... Ami: *Puts him down on a spectators seat* There... Mommy's ickle baby alright there? Shorty: Man..... [Finally the game begins..] Shorty: Okay, I'm the pitcher sooooooooooo lets pitch! *Winds up his arm until it's a blur of pink* Mettalix: (At bat) 67% chance of Mettalix hitting the ball. Shorty: *Lets go of the ball* Mettalix: *Hits him the face* Error... Uhhhh... I need my logic circuits updated.. [CUT TO: Eggman in bat] Dr. Eggman: (At bat) Hahahahah! (In Japanese) Hit it to me! Shorty: If you say sooo! *Lets go of ball* Dr. Eggman: *Hits it up in the air* Ha ha! Seven: *Looks up in the air and see's the ball is coming towards her* I got it! I got it! Ami: No! No! Me! I GOT it! Meeee! (They both bump into each other) Seven: You .. got ... it.... [CUT TO: Sera in bat] Sera: Ooooh! I'm gonna hit that ball hard... Shorty: I'd like to see you try! *Winds up faster than usual* Sera.... *Throws ball* Think fast. Sera: Aaaaaaaaah! *Hits ball in a hedge* YAY! (Sera begins to run to first base) Sonique: (At first base) *See's Sera coming* Hey, Mike! Get the ball already! Mike: *Gets the ball* Here ya go! *Throws the ball to Sonique* Sera: (Runs to first base. Clouds suround her) I did it! (When smoke clears we see that in actual fact she hasn't done it and Sonique has gotten there before her) Sonique: *Smugly* I think not. Sera: No, No, No, No, No! It's not fair! You beat me everytime! [CUT TO: Evil Shorty at bat] E.Shorty: Rahahhahahah! Come on 'Cous'! Gimme what you gots! Shorty: *Winds up hand and pretends to throw the ball* Heh... E.Shorty: *Swings but hits Nothing* Yesss- Uh? HEY! Shorty: *Falls to the floor and starts laughing* Hahahahahha!!! E.Shorty: Grrrrrrr... RAAAAAAH! *Attacks Shorty* [Commentating box..] TLoB: And it seems were experincing something like a fight out here.... C-VIRUS: Yeah, I think your right.... Yes, Evil Shorty and the reg Shorty are fighting! [Back on the pitch...] Shorty: I'll take you lousey ######! E.Shorty: Oh yeah!? Bring on! Sally: Boys, Boys... There's no need for all this fighting! (Evil Shorty and Shorty look at Sally and then at each other) E. Shorty and Shorty: Lets scrag her. [On another bit of the field..] Sonique: Oi, Dez! Eggman's trying to steal Third base! Dez: On it! Hey Eggman! Eggman: (In Japanese) Uh? Dez: See this? (Brings out his Lap Top it shows lots of computer 0's and 1's) It's your entire computer main frame. What happens if I press "Reprogram Mettalix to be on the good guys side"? Eggman: (In Japanese) Nooooo! Mettalix: Wedgie! (Gives Eggman a wedgie) Eggman: (In Japanese) Stop this! I created you! [TSP at bat] TSP: Come on! Iam reday! Edge: Pssst! I am all the toutered souls of the crap you posted at PC! (Smiles evily) Boo! TSP: *Wets his pants* Mommy! Mommy! All but Bad Guys: HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! TSP: U wont be luaghing sonn! I present my latest robot! I call it... TO BE CONTIUED... Lets face it. The robot's gonna be somethin' reaaaaaally stoopid. Thank god there's only two more parts of this to go and then we can get back to normal! Last time on Poke'mon Baseball... > Kefka: *A bit tornado appears over his head* > TSP: U wont be luaghing sonn! I present my latest robot! I call it... And now we rejoin our heroes for.... POKE'MON BASEBALL ----------------- Part Three: The Robot \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Written by: Neil "J for Jelous" Lafrenais \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ TSP: .... THE SONIC GUARD! Shorty: The "Sonic Guard"? Ami: How corny... TSP: Stup pu! (Shut up!) Sonique: Okay, SONIC GUARD... Let's see YOU at bat... [CUT TO: SONIC GUARD at bat] Shorty: Okay, This gonna take all my swing power! *Winds up arm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really fast* AHAAAA! SONIC GUARD: *Hits the ball perfectly and it fly's through the air* All but Bad Guy's: *Gawp up in the air* Mike: Don't worry.. I'll get it down! *Gets out his latest invention, The Extendo hand. Extends his hand so try's to reach the ball* SONIC GUARD: Cheating is not aloud. *Fire's a missle at Mike Fake arm* Sonique: Hey, that's not fair! TSP: U Wer chaetin' ass weel! (Later after many home runs scored by The SONIC GUARD. TPCG gang loses.) Sonique: Oh well you can't win'em all! Riochet: Err... Guy's would this be a badtime to mention... That I had a little bet with the other team... Shorty: *Start's snarling but is still quite calm* Riochet... What was this little bet? Riochet: Well I bet that if we won they had to leave and give us that SONIC GUARD... Shorty: *Begins to pump his fist* Yes? And if we lost... Riochet: They get to keep TPCG HQ... Don'thitme! Shorty: Don't worry Riochet.. I won't hit you! Riochet: *Relieved* Phewwww! Good! Shorty: *Kicks Riochet* You lousey ****! You lost us the F**king match! Now we have to f*cking give up fu**ing TPCG HQ! Riochet: Owwwwww! Hey stop that! TSP: Huhuuhuuhuh! Duhhhhh! We won! SONIC GAURDY! Dispese of them... SONIC GUARD: I Obey. Seven: *Being held by the SONIC GUARD* Y'know? It's really turning out to be one of those days... SONIC GUARD: *Kicks all of TPCG out of TPCG HQ* [CUT TO: Waste land outside TPCG HQ] Shorty: Aaaaaaah! *Lands on the ground* Oof! Riochet: Herler! *Lands on the ground* Ow! Ami: Yiiiiiii! *Lands on the ground* Ouch! Sonique: Whoaaaaaah! *Lands on the ground* Man! Mike: Wheeeeee! *Lands on the ground* Neh! Dez: Fuuuuuuuu*k! *Lands on the ground* Shi*! Seven: Duuuuuuuuude! *Lands on the ground* Crud! Edge: Boooooooooo! *Lands on the ground* Grife! Shorty: Wow *Cough*... Is that everyone? Ami: No! Where's Kefka? Shorty: Aw! Ferget about yer dumb Chao! Ami: My Chao is not dumb! I love him very much! :^D Shorty: Okay.. I admit I like him too! Edge: Guy's I just had a brain wave! Riochet: What is it Edge? Edge: Everyone follow me! (Edge goes off) Riochet: Were following the leader, the leader, the leader! (Everyone else goes off) [MIX TO: The old abdonded TSPG HQ] Shorty: Well there it is the old hang out place! Riochet: What's that moving in the rubble? Rio: *Crawling out of the rubble* Oh yeah... man wipe out! Riochet: Rio and Riot! Rio: Hi Riochet... Riot: .... Nice day! Ami: Wait a second what's that sound? ??: Tinky Winkle.... Rio: Stay back folks it's.. Riot: ...The guy you love to hate... Riochet: ..Hougan! Mike: Do you lot always have to say each sentence together? Rio: Yep.... Riot: ...All the time.... Riochet: ..Everyday. Hougan: Eh oh Po! Riochet: I'm not going to wear that Po outfit for the last time!! (Rio, Riot and Riochet all attack Hougan. After that they ask him some questions) Shorty: So where's Andre', AJ, Samanatha and Zac, then? Hougan: It's not fair! I'm the only one of the TBGUB left! Andre' died because of lack of brain, AJ and Zac became good and SaMaNtHa got a job as a model. Mike: Guys we don't have time for this! We gotta find the computer Data base.... All but Mike: Why? Mike: Because I just had a great plan... TO BE CONCLUDED! ----------------- POKE'MON BASEBALL ----------------- The Final Part! \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Written by Neil "J for Jo-Jo" Lafrenais /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ [CUT TO: TSPG Computer room; Wires are sparking and stuff like that] Mike: *Cough* *Cough* Man! Let's see if I can get the main frame up! Computer: *Start's up* Welcome back to the TSPG Computer. How may I be of -Krkkt- Daisy, Daisy -Krkkt- Service? Shorty: Smeg! It's on the blink... Mike, can you fix it? Mike: Yeah, but it'll take me a few hours.. You might wanna look around... [MIX TO: Shorty's old work place] Seven: Whoah! This place is a DUMP. Shorty: Just how I left it! (See's something) Wicked! My old computer... Sonique: Remember Shorty, we can't take this stuff back with us! Shorty: I know, I know... Voice: *Cough* Helppp... All but Voice: Uh? SonKnuck: *All battered and bruised* Oh ouch... Being squashed by a ton of rubble is NOT healthy... Ami: Who's the Red guy? Shorty: It's SonKnuck! Ami: Who's SonKnuck? SonKnuck: I am! Who this girl? Shorty: That's Ami! SonKnuck: Why'd you guys come back here anyway? Did you come to rescue me? Edge: Uh... Yeah... that's right... rescue you... Yeah.... SonKnuck: You've changed so much though... Edge what's up with you? You look so transparent... (Put's his hand through Edge's body) Aaah! Edge: Heh... Shorty: He's a ghost SonKnuck he was killed in a fire.. SonKnuck: Sorry about that.. Edge: S'cool. Anyway being a ghost rocks, You get to go through walls and stuff! SonKnuck: And who... *Points to Seven* Is that!? Shorty: Oh that's Sev'. You know Cynthia.. That's her in a different body... SonKnuck: Hey didn't you used be covered in fur? Seven: Yeah... Why? SonKnuck: Just askin'! *Turns to Riochet* Glad to see someone who hasn't changed! Riochet: OTHER RED GUY! Dez: His name is SonKnuck.... Riochet: Whatever. This calls for a Celebration! *Brings out Porto Piano* Shorty: Noooo! Don't play the piano! Riochet: *Singing* I'm soooooooo glad yer back! I'm soooooo glad yer here.... Why not staaaaaaay fer a while... Here with TPCGGGGGG- Oof! SonKNuck: *Hits him over the head with a bread bin* Ha! SHUT UP! Rio: Hey Guys.... Riot: .... Shouldn't we go check on.... Riochet: ... Mike to see.... Rio: ...If he.... Riot: .... Has fixed.... Riochet: ....The computer yet? Sonique: Hmmmmmm.... They have got a point..... Shorty: REALLY?! Will someone please tell me what it is then? [MIX TO: Computer Room; Mike has now finished fixing the computer and is using it] Shorty: *Walks in* You done yet, Mikey-Boy? Mike: Yeah, And don't call me Mikey-Boy! Sonique: So Mike, what's the plan? Mike: Mike: Well I've been thinking, if we can harness the powers of the main computer we might be able to get back TPCG HQ... SonKnuck: *In the background* What's TPCG HQ? Shorty: I'll explain later.... Sonique: *After Mike explains to full plan she tells the others* Seven: But that's to stupid to work! Ami: It might work though.... Shorty: I'm agreeing with Sev' on this one! Rio: That plan is soooooo... Riot: ......Stupid that even.... Riochet: .... Us three wouldn't think of it! [CUT TO: TPCG Base Guest Book] Name: SoNeEc'S mOm! From: StUp Up Message: UR GAIE! Name: SoNeEc'S mOm! From: StUp Up Message: UR GAIE! (And so on...) TSP: Wheew! All this spamin' is making me thristy... I know I'll go to the SPAM Chatroom. (On Computer Chatroom) TSP: HELLO! Spammer: Heelo TSP! Unknown: Hmmmmmm.... Your guy that thinks yer so great that you think TPCG is good! Well let me tell u something pal. TSPG HQ is better! TSP: Is that sooo... Where is this TSPG HQ? Unknown: Here are the directions.... [MIX TO: Later... TSP walks into the Main Lounge room where Eggman, Sera, Sally, E. Shorty, Ken Penders and the SONIC GUARD are lounging about] TSP: Back bags! Leaving! Eggman: Uh? (In japanese) Whaddya mean "leaving"!? TSP: We go to TSPG HQ! Sera: What's so good about that place anyway!? TSP: It has all the Guestbooks and Msg boards to SPAM! Come on! Sera: Does it have Candy? TSP: Yes! Eggman: (In japanese) Electronic Equipment? TSP: Yes! E. Shorty: Cans of Shorty-Away? TSP: Yes! Ken: Pictures of Sonic and Sally dieing! TSP: Yes! Sally: Pictures of Ken dieing? TSP: Yes! All: Then..... LETS GO! [All leave; A few minutes later Shorty, SonKnuck and the rest of TPCG walk in] Shorty: Whew! There gone! Now we can clear this place up... Sonique: Hey look it's my Chao! Moody! Here boy! Shorty: Well alls well that ends well.... Ami: And just in time for Xmas! All but Ami: XMAS!? Have TPCG really forgotten it's Xmas? Wait and see in "A Perfect Chaos Gang Christmas Carol". A new 5 part adventure stretching to Xmas Eve! (NOT) THE END .... THE BEGINNING... Epilogue 1: TSP and the other had been scooting around in TSPG HQ for a long time now and they had come to the conclusion that it was great. Well I did say TSP was an idiot didn't I? Epilogue 2: As Shorty and SonKnuck began to Prepare for the Xmas Party they heard a banging down in the cellar.. "What was that?" SonKnuck asks. "Nuthin', Prolly just the wind.." he tells him. "Now lets go.." As the two scuttled off.. Shorty was really wrong about the thing in the cellar as they happily prepared for Christmas something began to glow in the cellar... A pair of read eyes....