Author Subject Da Chicken Master TPCG Minister of War posts: 227 (12/9/00 9:40:27 pm) Reply Riochet, Get My Boomerang! (Part one!) (Ficcy!) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, I kinda wanna break the chain of the Fanfics with all the blood and gore and dying and all, and I wanna go the Old School way, back to the days of TSPG! Back where the wild wind blows, back to the wild fire burns...okay, I'm done. Enjoyyyyyyyyyy! ------------------ Riochet, Get My Boomerang! Chapter One: Huh? (It was a boring day at TPCG HQ) Riochet: Ooo eeh ooh ah ah ping pang walla walla bing bang! (Riochets' horrid singing is interrupted by "Jingle Bell Rock") Riochet: Hey...! Isn't my singing enough for you? H.Mac: Fine, I'll switch it...(Switches station and "Get Off of my Cloud" plays) There. (We see Riochet pointing to a sleeping TL on a big puffy chair that has "Riochet" written on it with big fancy letters) Riochet: (Somewhat singing to the tune of the song) Hey! You! Get offa my chair! Hey! You! Get offa my chair! (This continues. TL wakes up) TL: (Deliberitly looking at the name "Riochet" on the chair) Hey, I don't see YOUR name on it! (Long pause) Riochet: ...Get out anyway! (Pushes TL off the chair and jumps on it) Hee hee! TL: Hey! Why I oughta...(Falls asleep in mid-sentance) (Yerher bounces up to a smaller version of the big puffy chair that has "Yerher" written on it) Yerher: (Heart) (Matt the Yak comes in) Yak: Hey, Riochet, get my boomerang! Riochet: Awwww! I don't wanna get up! Yak: You'll get a chocolate chicken if you get it for me! (Riochet gets up instantly. Yerher whips out a sign that says "RIOCHET" on it, and sticks it on the chair. He smiles wide) Riochet: Where is it? Yak: It should be on the floor there. (Just as Riochet bends down, the boomerang comes and smacks him in the head) Yak: Ah, there it is! Thanks 'Chet! (He throws a chocolate chicken at him. It cracks on his head. Yerher looks at Yak with disgust) Yerher: (Tornado) (Riochet gets up and sits in his chair. He gives have the chicken to Yerher. Yerher smiles wide) Riochet: Eh, don't worry. Have a chicken. Yerher: (Heart) (And now....The Idiot Gang Head Quarters!) Tonic: Bwahahahahaha.... Jolt: What are ya laughing about, boss? Tonic: Bah, who knows. Jolt: Oh, okay, boss. Tonic: ...Although, I am feeling quite mischievious...ha ha ha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Tonic turns away from his window) Tonic: Jolt! Lexef! Get to work on my "Secret Plans"! Lexef: Er...you never told us your secret plans, and comb your damn hair! Tonic: (Sigh) Here they are. (Hands over papers) Jolt: Yay, boss! Tonic: Now, get to work, my little bananas! Soniprow and Jolt: Right, boss! (The two run off. Tonic turns back to his window) Tonic: Soon, I will defeat both the BGUB and TPCG...ha ha ha...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! YAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... (We now go to the BGUB) AJ: YAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My plan is perfect! You may even be able to call it a Master Plan! Hougan: WWWWWWWhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaatttttttt iiiiiiiiiissssssss iiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt???????? AJ: My, my. Hougan, I think your "No elongtated speech chip" fell out. (AJ fiddles with Hougans' head) Hougan: Ah, there! Now it works! AJ: Now, let's do something mischievious! Andre: (Waking up from what he calls a "Power Nap") What are we doing, AJ? (AJ whispers in Andre's ear) AJ: (Aloud) ...Now don't tell that secret plan I just told you to ANYONE until I say! Andre: Whattaya mean we're all gonna destroy TPCG and TIG by finding a Dragon Stone, and using to wake up the Chaos- Dragon? AJ: (Slapping hand onto his forehead) You idiot... (Grabs a tube full of green stuff, and pulls on Andre's neck) You idiot...I told you not to tell the plans yet...You know what's in this tube?! Andre: Uhh...no... AJ: It's salfuric acid...and you know what happens when my lackeys don't obey?! THEY DIE! (Right before he dumps the acid on Andre, Corn and Zac come in chatting angrily at eachother from the next room) Corn: Gi gi gi ga!!! Admit it! You're a hypocrit! You hate newbies, but in fact, you're a newbie in porn! Zac: No! I am not what I hate! I am NOT a newbie in porn! Corn: Are too! Zac: ...In fact, get a Playboy every month. Corn: Aww, that's not porn! That's all done tastefully! I'm talkin' about HARDCORE!! GI GI GI GA!!!! Zac: Bah, I've been getting Penthouse every month too. Corn: I'd be very happy if you could prove it, homie! Zac: Gladly. (They walk out of the room) Corn: GI GI GI GA!!!!!!!!!! AJ: ...Er...Back to the plans....wait, let's do that some other time. Right now, I'm tired. (He goes to bed) TO BE CONTINUED.............. Author Subject Da Chicken Master TPCG Minister of War posts: 236 (12/12/00 5:15:04 pm) Reply Riochet, Get My Boomerang! Part Two -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riochet, Get My Boomerang! Chapter Two: TPCG Vs. Aliens! (TPCG HQ...) SonKnuck: (Busting in the room) Hey guys! I have a really risky idea! All others: What? SonKnuck: I have an idea on how to defeat TIG and BGUB! All others: How? SonKnuck: We go get the Dragon Stone, and wake up the Chaos Dragon! Everyone: YAAAAY! (All run off) (TIG HQ...) Tonic: Are you two down with that secret project, yet? Soniprow: Yup! (They tug off a big white sheet, and it reviels a giant, evil looking, robot Santa) Tonic: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's complete! Santa: Ho ho ho. Tonic: So, did you add the weopons? Soniprow: Yup! (The Santa pulls something that looks like an evil teddy bear out of his bag. It slashes at the walls until Santa takes him back) Tonic: Wonderful! Now, we can go on to the real plan... Jolt: Real plan, boss?! Tonic: Yes...now, we can use the Santa to help us nab the grand Dragon Stone to wake up the Chaos Dragon! We'll bring the Santa just in case those no good TPCGers of BGUBers try to get hier hands on it...herumph! Let's go! (They leave) (The BGUB HQ) AJ: Got the Gernades? Others: Check. AJ: Shock Blasters? Others: Check. AJ: Flamethrowers? Others: Check. AJ: Let's go! (They leave) (Now, we meet TPCG who are a few miles away from TPCG HQ. Everyone is walking, axcept for Riochet, who's riding Daisy) Shorty: My ego's getting dented... Riochet: Look, I would've brought the TPCG Mobile, but it needs fixing! Daisy: Moo. (Alien things jump out of a patch of trees) Riochet: (Jumping off Daisy) Aw crap. Not these things again...(Grabs sword) Alien: We are the guardians of the Dragon Stone! We won't let you pass! (They all begin to fade) All but Riochet and Aliens: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Riochet: Don't worry guys! It's BATTLE TRANSITION time! TPCG Vs. Alien Dudes-RPG Style! Choose Fighters! Shorty (X) 70 HP Riochet (X)70 HP Munkee (X)70 HP Vs... Alien 1-70 HP Alien 2-70 HP Alien 3-70 HP (The alien dude multiplies twice) Munkee uses "Sit On Head"! (Munkee sits on alien 1's head. That takes off 10 HP) Alien 1-60 HP Alien 1 does counter attack! Munkee-60 HP Shorty uses "Big Honkin' Foot"! (A giant foot slams on to Alien 3) Alien 3 is trapped under the foot! Alien 3-50 HP Alien 2 uses "Alien Blast"! Riochet gets hit! Riochet-50 HP Riochet does counter attack! Alien 2-60 HP Munkee uses "Fly Aimlessly"! (Munkee flies into all three aliens) Alien 1-30 HP Alien 2-30 HP Alien 3-20 HP The foot stomps harder on Alien 3! Alien 3-10 HP Shorty uses "Ego Glare"! (A beam of light shines from Shorty's eyes to Alien 3!) (Alien 3 is defeated!) The foot is released! Riochet uses "Cow Stomp"! (Riochet jumps on Daisy and runs over Alien 1 with her) Alien 1-10 HP Alien 1 uses "Boom Boom Canon"! Riochet is defeated! Alien 2 uses "Zap!" Munkee-40 HP Munkee uses "Fly Aimlessly"! Alien 1 is defeated! Alien 2 is defeated! Munkee and Shorty win! Riochet Grows To Level 2! Riochet gets a tonic! Riochet learns "Boom Boom Canon"! Riochet gets a rock! Munkee Grows To Level 2! Munkee learns "Dark Ring"! Munkee is happy! Shorty Grows To Level 2! Shorty learns "Ego Blaster"! Shorty gets Potion! TPCG all get 500G! (RPG Battle Mode ends) (Map Mode) Riochet: (Still unconscience) Urrg... Lil: Let me use a healing thing! Strange Voice: You can't... Lil: Why not?! Strange voice: When the aliens came, they sent you into RPG Thingy....You can only use your healing powers in battle... Lil: Aww, no fair! Strange voice: Sorry, those're the rules... TL: I'm tired. (Lights go off, and music plays) Riochet: I'm shaved and ready! Yak: ...I'm not even touching that one... (Riochet jumps back on Daisy and they start off again) (Where ever TIG may be...) Tonic: Hi ho, hi, ho, hi, ho... Jolt: Please stop, boss... Tonic: No! Hey...running's too hard. I'm riding on Santa! Santa: Ho, ho, ho. (Tonic jumps on Santa, and it flies off) TO BE CONTINUED.............. Author Subject Da Chicken Master TPCG Minister of War posts: 242 (12/16/00 9:28:47 pm) Reply Riochet, Get My Boomerang! (ChapterThree!) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riochet, Get My Boomerang! Chapter Three: TIG Vs. Cows! Jolt: I hate walking, boss! Tonic: Shut up! Soniprow: Boss According to this map, we've just entered the RPG Zone! Tonic: YEAH! THE GPR ZONE! Soniprow: Er....boss, I said RPG, not GPR. (Long pause) Tonic: ...Shutup! Jolt: Hey, where's the Dragon Stone, boss? Tonic: Well, of course it's in...(Long pause) ...I don't know! Soniprow! Where is the Dragon Stone? Soniprow: Uhhhh...(Looks at a map) It should be at the Chaos Dragons' den. Tonic: Well, where's that? Soniprow: Uhhhh...(Checks map again) It doesn't say. Tonic: Grrrr.... (Soniprow gives the map to AndyMan and Soniprow takes out his Gameboy and Pokemon Gold) Soniprow: Yeah! My Chikowhatthehellismyname just beat Whackoneekiee! (TIG sighs) Soniprow: I just caught Chacowackanak! (Some cows come out of no where) Cow 1: Moooo. Cow 2: Moooo. Imperial Cow: MOOOO! Tonic: What the hell? (He jumps off the Santa) Tonic: It's a fight you cows want, huh? Well, you got it! (TIG huddle) BATTLE TRANSITION! (Scene fades, and reapears in BATTLE MODE) Choose Fighters! Santa (X)120 HP Tonic (X)70 HP Jolt (X)70 HP Vs... Cow 1-70 HP Cow 2-70 HP Imperial Cow-140 HP Tonic attacks! (Tonic punches Cow 2) Cow 2-60 HP Santa uses "Evil Bear"! (It takes its' bag and brings out the teddy bear. It slashes at Imperial Cow rapidly) Imperial Cow-100 HP Imperial Cow does a Counter Attack! Santa-100 HP Cow 1 uses "Cow Stomp"! (Cow 1 stomps on Jolt) Jolt-50 HP Jolt does a Counter Attack! Cow 1-50 HP Imperial Cow uses "Great Horns Attack"! Tonic-10 Tonic does a Counter Attack! Imperial Cow-40 HP Santa uses "Candy Cane"! Tonics' heal increases by 40 HP! Tonic-50 HP Jolt uses "Jolt Bolt"! (An electricity bolt electrocutes Cow 2) Cow 2-40 HP Cow 2 does a Counter Attack! Jolt-30 HP Santa uses "Bamboozle"! Imperial Cow is defeated! Tonic uses "Tonic Smasher"! Cow 2: 20 HP Cow 2 does a Counter Attack, but misses! Cow 1 uses "Cow Stomp"! Tonic: 30 HP Cow 2 uses "Manure Slop"! Santa-80 HP Santa is poisened! Jolt uses "Jolt Bolt"! (An electricity bolt electrocutes Cow 1) Cow 1- 30 HP Tonic uses "Tonic Smasher"! Cow 2 is defeated! Santa uses "Evil Bear"! (It takes its' bag and brings out the teddy bear. It slashes at Cow 1 rapidly) Cow 1 is defeated! Tonic, Santa, and Jolt Win! Tonic Grows 20 levels! Tonic is now at level 21! Tonic learns "Tonic Tank"! Tonic gets a tonic! Santa grows to level 2! Santa learns "Bag Smash"! Santa learns "Reindeer Stomp"! Jolt grows to level 2! Jolt learns "Annoy"! TIG all get 500G! (RPG Battle Mode ends) (Map Mode) Tonic: (Hopping back on to Santa) Wow! I grew 20 levels! I can feel my strength! Jolt: Hey, boss, I think that battle wore us out. Let's go find the next town and spend the night there. Tonic: Right! Go, Santa! Santa: Ho. Ho. Ho. (They set forth to the next town) TO BE CONTINUED........... Author Subject Da Chicken Master TPCG Minister of War posts: 253 (12/22/00 11:10:34 am) Reply Riochet, Get My Boomerang! (Part Four!) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riochet, Get My Boomerang! Chapter Four: SonKnuck Vs. AJ Vs. Tonic! AJ: Ha ha ha! I am brilliant! I knew that shortcut would get us to the Dragons' Den sooner! Tsp: Yeah! None of those other idiots are here! ???: Don't count on it! Andre: Huh? ???: Ho. Ho. Ho. AJ: TONIC! My arch-nemesis! Zac: Those newbies at evil! I HATE NEWBIES!!!! Tonic: Ha ha ha ha! (Some bushes rustle. AJ and Tonic see this, but the others try to figure out what they're looking at) Jolt: Whatcha lookin' at, boss? Corn: Gi gi gi ga! What are you looking at? AJ: There's something in some bushes...Show yourself! (Then...nothing happens) Tonic: Herumph. Nothing. (2 miles farther back...Riochet runs to where the others are) Riochet: Guys...(Pant) They're...there...Tonic...AJ...I hid in bushes... Daisy: Moo! SonKnuck: Yikes! Let's keep going! (They run off. Riochet mounts on to Daisy, and she moos, and runs after the rest) (Back to the BGUBers and TIG...) Tonic: WE'RE getting the Dragon Stone! AJ: No, WE are! ???: Wrong-o. AJ and Tonic: Fwuh? SonKnuck: (Rising from a bush) What? Did you really think we'd let you guys have all the fun? AJ: Argh! Tonic: I hate you, TPCG! Riochet: (Jumping from a tree) Yeah, don't we all? (All the others come from thier hidind places) Tonic: Argh! Can't I ever win?! AJ: Let's settle this once and for all! Tonic, Sonique and I will all battle! No help from anyone else! SonKnuck: Er...Sonique left...I'm TPCG's leader now. AJ: Er...right...Then, it's Tonic, SonKnuck, and me! No help from anyone else! Tonic: Ha! You're all gonna lose! In my last battle, I grew 20 levels! Zac: Pff! Your a newbie at level 21 strength! AJ has been at level 21 for ages! Tonic: Wha? Well...at least I'll be able to beat SonKnuck... SonKnuck: Fat chance! I've been level 21 since Sonique left! Tonic: WHAT?! So...you all have equal strength? SonKnuck and AJ: Yup. Tonic: Aww crap... BATTLE TRANSITION! (Scene fades, and reapears in BATTLE MODE) Choose Fighters! SonKnuck (X)140 HP Vs. Tonic (X)140 HP Vs. AJ(X)140 HP Riochet: WAIT A SECOND!!! (Battle Transistion ends. Map mode) SonKnuck, AJ, and Tonic: WHAT?!?!?! Riochet: Well, this is gonna take too long, so how about we do something else? SonKnuck, AJ, and Tonic: Hmmmm.... AJ: Well...okay. Riochet: Woo hoo! Yerher: (Heart) (Oh, and just so you know, things in [ ] shows what the Chao is thinking) [ I have gas! ] (All just sit there) SonKnuck: ...YOINK! (Riochet throws the Plot Hole Device to SonKnuck, and he uses it. TPCG all jump in, and someone's arm comes out and zips it shut) BGUBers and TIG: Aww crap! AJ: Uh oh, now the plot's gonna go whacko... (All of a sudden, they all go in fast foward, and they leave. TPCG come back from the Plot Hole) Yerher: (Heart) [ That was fun! ] Ami: LET'S GO!! (All run, but then stop) Lil: But what if BGUB or TIG used a Plot Hole after we used a Plot Hole? Riochet: Then, we'll just use a Plot Hole for them to go away! Lil: WHat if they come back? Riochet: Then we'll hit 'em with hammers! Ami: LET'S GO!! (They run off to the Dragons' Den...) (OOOoooOOOOOO!!!) Riochet: I'm scared! Shorty: I wonder what's in here... (Then...there's a giant sleeping dragon that has a gold head, red body, black wings, green limbs, and purple tail) Riochet: Alright, I'm really scared... SonKnuck: That must be the Chaos Dragon! Now we need to find the Dragon Stone! Lil: Where would that be? Rusty: How should I know? Shorty: Let's use a Plot Hole! (He uses the device. For some reason, it won't work) Shorty: What?! Rusty: Maybe it doesn't work in this cave! Riochet: Then we should go outside, use the Plot Hole, and come back in!(Three boulders suddenly fall down cover the entrance) ...Or not. Munkee: Damn it... (Yerher and the other Chao suddenly fly up) Kefka: (!) [What's going on, here?!] Yerher: (!) [I can't control my flight for some reason!) Chaochi: (Swirl) [I wanna know who's controlling us!] Riochet: I wonder what's up... SonKnuck: What I wanna know is, what's up with you! Riochet: Whattaya mea...(Looks around, and sees he's flying like the Chao) AAAAAH! Seth: Ugg! I can't hold on to the ground! (All of TPCG somehow fly up) Shorty: MOMMY!!!!! Strange, Mysterious Voice: Only those with Chao may enter! Riochet: Enter wha...(Sees a door) ...Oh. Hey, Yerher, fly over here! (Yerher does so, and the other Chao fly to thier owners. The door opens) Voice: Sorry, non- Chao trainers. You must leave. H.Mac: But wai- (H.Mac and the others who don't have Chao are blown away. The Chao owners fly to the door) (Outside the cave...) TL: (Hitting the ground) Owie! I hurt my...(Falls asleep) (Inside the door) Riochet: What time is it? Ami: For the last time, Riochet, I don't know! Lil: I'm scared! I think I'll tear up! Coffee (Anony's Chao): HYPER! HYPERHYPERHYPERHYPER!! Anony: Quiet! Yerher: [Look at that rock over there!] Riochet: Could that be it? The Dragon Stone? Kefka: [Let's nab it!] (They float to it. Lil carefully picks it up) Lil: Yay! (Riochet nabs it) Riochet: Hoo hah! Hey, Yerher, go long! Yerher: (Running) [This good?] Riochet: Yeah! (Throws it, and SonKnuck grabs it while it's in the air) Hey! SonKnuck: Riochet, this isn't a toy! We need this to wake the dragon! (They somehow disappear, and reappear in front of he dragon) Riochet: Let me! (He takes the stone, and places it on the dragons head. It starts rumbling) SonKnuck: It's waking up! (The Dragons' eyes open) Chaos Dragon (CD): Rrrggg...Don't you all know to let sleeping dragons lie?! Ami: Uh oh. CD: Eh, doesn't matter. What you really need to "Uh oh" at is... ???: Me, Tonic! TPCG: TONIC?! CD: Er, not really. It was more along the lines of... ???: Me, AJ! TPCG: AJ?! CD: Yeah! AJ's the one! Tonic: We're going to get you, dragon! AJ: If it's the last thing we do! CD: No! No one's getting me! Not you, not Tonic, not SonKnuck! I'm all by myself! Tonic: Stupid excuse for a dragon! (CD blasts him with fire) Tonic: AAAIIIEEEE! (AJ advances on CD, but Ami blasts him) Ami: Look, he said he wanted to be left alone, so leave him alone! (An alien Chao named "Wiggy" jumps from behind Tonic) Wiggy: [C'mon, Yerher!] Yerher: [You're gonna lose!] TO BE CONTINUED...........