Zac Revenge of Andre' (PAFF) (Part one) Sat May 1 13:37:05 1999 Part one of a Forty-five part Pass-Along FanFic! One day in Samantha Land... Andre': Grr! I'm stuck here because of that wretched CIH virus! But I'll show Soneec... (moves over to SamAnTha'S skool) AD: With the School Computer! Back @ SP: Soneec: Wow! Look at this new quiz I've made! You have to be observant! AJ: Yeah, but most of the questions involve the SATAM cartoon. Soneec: Huh! There's no pleasing some people! AJ: But who asked for a quiz? Suddenly, Knuckle storms in. knuckle: I did! Shorty: Who? Hyper Mac: What? Zac: Where? Mike: How? SecMan: Why? Riochet: Huh? Knuckle: I am the Knuckle! David the Lurker: But isn't that one of Samantha's evil creations? Knuckle: Who is Samantha? Miles: I think he's telling the truth. SonKnuck: You mean he's lost his memory? Knuckles: I guess he has. But Samantha is Andre'! Zac: You're right. AJ: Good old Andre'! Zac: All hail Andre'! Soneec: OH SHUT UP YOU TWO!!! SHUT UP: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Potato Man: were is my luv? SecMan: Oh no, not him again. Zac: Speaking of lost, where's your original fan fic, Adventures of the H-Team, Hyper Mac? H. Mac: Uh... well... Knuckle: Hey! Has everybody forgotton that I'm present? Shorty: Yep! Knuckle leaves. Riochet: So where is AOTHT, Hyper Mac? Back in Samantha Land: Andre': Grrrrr! My first plan didn't work! But I have another up my sleeves... TO BE CONTINUED! Now this is where you step in, Shorty! Shorty Andre's Revenge(PAFF)Chapter 2:Deadly Dream Cast. Sun May 2 15:29:56 1999 ---------------- Andre's Revenge PAFF ---------------- Chapter Two of Forty Five, Deadly Dreamcast ---------------- Recently Andre "SaMaNtHa" Dirk has been trapped in a land made by himself(ie.....Sammy Land)Because a virus called CIH has infected his personal computer and has to use the Offical 1% Pentium Proccer "Crap" P.C. Mr Dirk has passed the time by trying to kill everyone at Sonic Pandamouinum. His plan failed trying to be "Knuckle" and "Kuckles"(Two characters made up from Andre's subconcious) And Now is trying to concuct and even more evil plan... Andre:Damn!!My first plan didn't work!! (A Sammy Land Servant enters) Servant:(Blankly)Tea sir? Andre:No,can't you see I'm busy!? Servant:I alone wish to serve. Andre:Yeah,Yeah,What ever!!(Deep in thought) Servant:What time do you want all those Dreamcast's burnt sir? Andre:4 o'clock will do...(Has an Idea)THAT'S IT!! Servant:What sir?Tea? Andre:No you idiot!!Dreamcast's!! (Cut to SP H.Q) Zac:So what did happen to your first FANFIC then Mac? SonKnuck:Yeah,what did happen? H.Mac:Ermm... Soneec:Come on Mac we want to see how it ends. H.Mac:Its like this.... Shorty:(Playing on GameGear)Yess!!Got that last damn Choas Emerald on Sonic 1!!I'm the master. Zac:HAHAHAHAHAH!!I did that age's ago.... Shorty:Why you F***ing bastard!! (Zac and Shorty start a fight) mechatails:Fight!Fight! Soneec:Where's Riochet?He's always here when a fight breaks out!!Mindless violence is his strong point!! H.Mac:I think he's over in that corner... (SonKnuck walks over) SonKnuck:Hey Riochet,guess what has just happened with Zac and Shorty.... Riochet:(While playing a game)Don't know.Don't care. SonKnuck:Say what's that your pl-l-l-l-l-l-ldygsdg!! (Shorty and Zac stop fighting) Shorty:SonKnuck what happened? SonKnuck:D-D-D-DREAMCAST!!! Zac:........WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! mechatails:We have a Dreamcast,We have a Dreamcast... Soneec:With Sonic Adventure!! Shorty:(A tear forms from his left eye)T-this is the happiest day of my life!! Riochet:Shhhh....Speed High Way....playing it.....Sonic... (5 hours of non-stop play) Shorty:I'll never get tired of this never!! H.Mac:But who brought it? Shorty:Not me I'm to choked up to of brought it... SonKnuck:Not me. Soneec:Nor me. mechatails:I'm skint!! Zac:I'm less than skint.I'm having to (Shudder) work at a charity store... H.Mac:And it wasn't me,so who was it? (All eyes are set on Riochet) Riochet:(Pause's game)Not me..here when arrive... Dreamcast:Too right it wasn't any of you f***ing slackers!! All:Ahhhhhhh!!! Shorty:It's alive......sort of. Dreamcast:I have been sent here by a Mr Dirk to kill yous lot!! SonKnuck:Dirk?Doesent he hate Sonic Adventure and Dreamcast's.... H.Mac:Wait a sec!!Hold everything!! (H.Mac exits studio) Director:CUT!! (Mac walks into the writting office where a few writer's are sitting on there desks) Writer:Complaint sir? H.Mac:Yes,I do have a f***ing complaint!! Writer:What about? H.Mac:That last Idea the Dirk hating Dreamcast and there fore the Dreamcast Hating Dirk Idea was mine!Who wrote that in WHO!? Writer:Shorty. H.Mac:Bastard. (Walks out of writting office and on to studio) H.Mac:(Whisphers something to the Director) Director:Okay...And take 12400,Action! Dreamcast:I have been sent by Mr Dirk to kill all of yous!! SonKnuck:Dirk? Dreamcast:I will now for no partictular reason kill every one including Dirk!! Shorty:How? Dreamcast:I will become Perfect Dreamcast Choas!! H.Mac:That's Two of my Idea's you've stolen Shorty!! Shorty:Sorry. (Dreamcast turns into Perfect Dreamcast Choas!!) P-D-C:AHAHAHAHAHHA!! Riochet:In the words of Miles "Tails" Prower fow,"Bummer." TO BE CONTIUED I nominate.....Riochet to do the next part!! Shorty P.S:E-mail me with comments Pleeeeeeeeeease!! Riochet Andre's Revenge!! {PAFF FANFIC} Part3! Mon May 3 18:37:01 1999 By: Riochet Andre's Revenge! Part3 of 45 We now go back to our heroes {And foes!} in.... Andre's Revenge!! Part3 -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ Andre:{Looking at monitor} Yes, this is going perfectly! Hmmmm... how did I get in to this mess? Ah, yes,now I remember..... {We now go into one of Andre's flashbacks...} Andre:{Thinking:} It all started when....... AJ:Hey, Andre! I'm going on vacation. You're gonna have to hold down the fort. See ya! Andre:Okay! {Thinking:} Of coarse, I had to take it literally! Andre:Oh-no. WIND!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! {Andre flys off.} Zac:{Looking at Andre in air} Hey... is that Andre? Andre:{Yelling}Yes! Zac:He,he,he...BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! {Andre wakes up.} Andre:Huh?!? Oh, right. Better get back to work. :::We now go back to our heroes::: Riochet:Oh, crap. I've been playing an evil DreamCast! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! {Evey one watches as Riochet runs for three miles.} Shorty:What a weirdo. {The Evil DreamCast turns into E-102.} E-102 {DreamCast}:Shut up, or I'll kill you. Shorty:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! {Every one watches as Shorty runs for three miles.} Riochet:Thirsty...so...thirsty.... {Shorty catches up.} Shorty:Thirsty? Riochet:Yeah...Ohno! Shorty:What? Riochet:IT'S AJ!!!! SecMan:AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! RUN! Shorty:Huh? How did you get here? SecMan:I secretly followed you guys. Zac:SGFHGJ!!! SecMan and Riochet:What did he say? Shorty:Occording to the translater... SecMan:...Yes? Shorty:He isn't Zac. Riochet:Than who is he? Shorty:He is now... ZACATHA!! ALL:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! TO BE CONTINUED..... Will our heroes destroy Zacatha? Will the others destroy the Evil DreamCast? All this and more on: Andre's Revenge!! Part3! I nominate...Drum roll please...H.Mac! mecha tails ANDRES REVENGE PART 4 (PAFF FANFIC) Wed May 5 18:31:45 1999 H.MAC: Grr....i'll kill you zacatha! E-102(evil dreamcast): ha, like i am let you get get zacatha,ha, you have to destroy me first in order to that. SECMAN: that can be arranged. MECHATAILS: i'll help, just give me a munite. [mechatails leaves the room] H.MAC: MECHATAILS! WHERE YOU GOING! SECMAN:forget it, H.MAC, he's a coward, let him be E-102 (evil dreamcast): time to die VOICE: yea, right (gunshot game from anonymous figure, knocking out the gun from E-102's hand) ALL: WHO? MECHATAILS: i didn't run scared, although i usally would, i ran to get my plasma gun to destroy the evil dreamcast. H.MAC: ahh, but next time, TELL ME WHAT YOUR DOING. E-102 (evil dreamcast): ha, that doesn't matter, that makes one more person to kill. MECHATAILS: i'm ready, now prepare to be destroyed. (mechatails fires at the evil dreamcast, but misses) MECHATAILS: oh nuts, i forgot that plasma wepons get hot OUCH, MY HANDS, AHH, IT BURNS ,AHHHHHHHH. H.MAC: DON'T PANIC (mechatails throws the plasma gun at the evil dreamcast, just before the gun explodes) SPLAT! (the plasma gun explodes, letting out lava hot liquid) ALL: AHH, WERE GOING TO DIE!!!! SECMAN:RUN! MECHATAILS: DITTO! ALL: LOOK, THE EVIL DREAMCAST IS DESTROYED! H.MAC: HMM, let me take a look here, HA, just as i thought! ALL BUT H.MAC: WHAT? H.MAC: this dreamcast isn't made by SEGA! ALL BUT H.MAC: THEN WHO MADE IT THEN? H.MAC: HMM, MADE BY THE ANDRE DIRK COMPANY ALL BUT H.MAC: ANDRE?!?!?!?!?! I THOUGHT HE WAS ANTI-SONIC ADVENTURE H.MAC: me too SECMAN: i think we pay andre a little visit, hehe. MECHATAILS: BUT WHAT ABOUT ZACATHA? H.MAC: oh, yea right, i forgot about that. NOW THAT THE EVIL DREAMCAST IS DESTROYED, WHAT WILL THEY DO ABOUT ZACATHA? STAY TUNED NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT, ALSO I HAVE AN ANOUNCEMENT, I NOMATE ZAC TO DO THE NEXT PART. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT SonKnuck Andre's Revenge Part 5 (PAFF) Thu May 6 15:26:39 1999 Lately, on Andre's Revenge (PAFF): ALL BUT H.MAC: ANDRE?!?!?!?!?! I THOUGHT HE WAS ANTI-SONIC ADVENTURE H.MAC: me too SECMAN: i think we pay andre a little visit, hehe. MECHATAILS: BUT WHAT ABOUT ZACATHA? H.MAC: oh, yea right, i forgot about that. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-And now!*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**--**-**-**--***- Zacatha: hahaha!! It was a good thing you forgot about me! H. Mac: Really? SecMan: Yeah! Why? We can kill you now! Zacatha: You shouldn't! Voice: No! Don't kill! ALL but Zacatha: WHO SAID IT?! Voice: That's me! SonKnuck! Shorty: Why we shouldn't kill Zacatha? SonKnuck: BECAUSE IN HER! KILL ZACATHA AND YOU KILL ME! ALL but Zacatha and SonKnuck: Uh-Oh! Zacatha: Don't move or I kill SonKnuck!! {Noboby move} {Zacatha leaves with SonKnuck as her hostage} mechatails: What are we going to do? Riochet: What do you think? We're going to save SonKnuck! Shorty: Yeah, but we don't know where she is gone. H. Mac: I know! ALL but H. Mac: You know what? H. Mac: I know where Zacatha is gone. ALL but H. Mac: WHERE? H. Mac: She's Andre's creation and Andre is locked in SaMaNtHa Land case of that stupid CIH virus! So, Zacatha must be there! Riochet: So, I guess we're going to pay that little visit to Andre anyway! {Meanwhile, at SaMaNtHa Land} Andre: Zacatha!?!!?? Zacatha: I'm back with an hostage! SonKnuck: ANDRE?!! {Andre punches Zacatha} Zacatha: OW! Andre: YOU F***** *****! I TOLD YOU TO KILL SONEEC AND NOT TO GET AN HOSTAGE! YOU *** ***** **** ****** AND *****!!!!! Zacatha: But.... Andre: NO BUTS! NOW GO BACK AND KILL SONEEC!!! TO BE CONTINUED.... For the next part, I nominate... I nominate... ARGH! I was the last one available actually!!! Well, I guess it's your turn again Zac! Zac PAFF: Andre's revenge part six... "My ego is HUGE!" Sat May 8 16:09:30 1999 Samantha Land... Andre': HA HA!!! I've sent Zacatha over to Soneec's place to kill her!!! And now, with some backup, I can return to SP by formatting my HD!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... etc. Sonic Pandemonium... Riochet: Methinks we should head off towards Samantha land... SonKnuck: Methinks??? What does that mean? Shakespeare: It is a way of saying "I think"... Sonknuck: HEY!!! I didn't ask you, Elizabethan maniac! Wierdo: But that's the master of our English language! It's Shakespeare himself! SecMan: No... the master of the language is definitely Samuel Johnson... Zac enters the room... Soneec: OH NO!!! ZACATHA HAS RETURNED!!! Shorty: Shut up Soneec. You know perfectly well that the prolonged leave from Samantha Land has returned Zac to normal! Soneec: I knew that... I just wanted to make you think he's a loser! Zac: I'm going to update my web page every month! MechaTails: WHAT? H Mac: He's still Zacatha!!! Zacatha: Thas rigoty!!! i no is no zachy but yo haff me no!! i em zcatah!!!!!!!!!! Andre': And I'm BACK!!! Soneec: Oh damn... Tails: Yay!! Andre's back! Time to party... (Tails, SecMan, Andre' and Zacatha start partying down...) HMac: Grrr!!! It's the evil march of the Anti-Sonic AD's!!! Rio and Riochet: Oh no! This place is doomed! Super Zac: NOT SO FAST! Andre': HUH? Shorty: It must be the evil to replace the good! I mean the good to fight the evil! Andre': NO! I thought this plan was foolproof! Knuckles: Yes! Now we're going to see a REAL party! Andre': I kidnapped Zac and replaced him with his evil side! He has such a great evil side, I thought his good side would be tiny! Sonic the hedgehog: But I grew the good side using Nack's shrinking device! Loony Mike: Hey, what's Sonic doing in this fan fanfic? Shorty: Ask Zac; he wrote it. Mike: Oh. (Goes up to Super-Zac) Mike: Zac...? Super-Zac: bh Andre': HAHA! As I thought... his intelligence is still minute! He can't even talk!! Sonknuck: We must find Shakespeare to help him learn how to talk properly! Maybe I could ask him for training too... I'd be top of my class! (Sonknuck and the others go and look for Shakespeare but Soneec, Zacatha and Andre' stay behind...) Soneec: Oh no! They're losing interest in me, and want to cure Zac! Andre': Don't worry Soneec... wait a minute. If I encourage her, she'll have some-- GASP!-- HOPE!!! Can't let that happen... Andre' (he's lying, but Soneec doesn't know): Soneec, I'm afraid that they are all madly in love with Zac. Soneec: OH NO!!! Et tu, Tia? Then fall Soneec! (Soneec dies from the shock) Andre': HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TO BE CONTINUED! Zacatha: uh? ho red teh fickfan? Now, I know that he might not still be here, but for the next part I want to nominate... David the Lurker! Of course, if he doesn't reply to this message within 24 hours, I will change the nominee to Shorty! Zac David...The Lurker! PAFF: Andre's revenge part seven(finally..) Fri May 14 16:21:04 1999 Oh man, I really am sorry guys! I truly am! It's just that, well, I couldn't get on the computer! I tried to, but it just wasn't working. Everything's better now, I hope. This won't happen again...I hope. Last time on PAFF: Andre's Revenge: Mike: Zac...? Super-Zac: bh Andre': HAHA! As I thought... his intelligence is still minute! He can't even talk!! Sonknuck: We must find Shakespeare to help him learn how to talk properly! Maybe I could ask him for training too... I'd be top of my class! Andre' (he's lying, but Soneec doesn't know): Soneec, I'm afraid that they are all madly in love with Zac. Soneec: OH NO!!! Et tu, Tia? Then fall Soneec! (Soneec dies from the shock) Andre': HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And now...PAFF Andre's Revenge part 7 of 45! (Most of the members of SP are looking for Shakespeare, to help improve Super-Zac's intelligence) Shorty: Now where could Shakespeare have gone... Super-Zac: htdei! Sonknuck: What? Mechatails: He must be trying to tell us something! Sonknuck: But what? H. Mac: I don't know, it's not even Andre/Samantha's language. (While the gang of SP try to figure out what Super-Zac is trying to say, AJ suddenly appears) AJ: Andre, I've come back and... (AJ then notices Soneec on the ground) AJ: What's this? Andre: I have killed Soneec, oh master of Anti-SA. AJ: Let us go to Samantha Land, where we can glow in our victory! (AJ and Andre leave, and David the Lurker enters) David the Lurker: I'm here.. (Notices Soneec) David The Lurker: Hmmm.. I don't remeber Soneec being on the ground... (David TL(that's short for The Lurker, if anyone cares) runs to the direction of the rest of the SP gang. When he leaves, Soneec gets up) Soneec: I've tricked AJ and Andre, but now what do I do? I must stay in the shadows for now, because if Andre knows I'm alive, it could be the end to my plan... (David TL then runs up to the SP gang, who are engaging in pointless conversation) Riochet: Wern't we supposed to be doing something? David TL: Guy's, I think... Sonknuck: Finally, you're here! Where were you? David TL: Long story...Soneec's dead! Shorty: Soneec, dead? It seems impossible... H. Mac: Let's go investigate this claim. (David TL leads them to the spot where Soneec was, but she is gone) David TL: Hey, where did she go? H. Mac: It seems you were wrong. Sonknuck: Look! (Everyone runs to where Sonknuck is) Sonknuck: It's a note! It says "I have killed Soneec! Signed Andre. H. Mac: Was David telling the truth? (Suddenly, David TL dissapears) Sonknuck: Hey, David's gone! Shorty: Strange, yet, it isin't. To be continued... What is Soneec's plan? Where had David TL gone(if anyone cares)? Does anyone remember what they were supposed to do for Super-Zac? Where is Shakespeare? Will Sonic save Tails? Will Sonic save the Fish? When will I stop asking these anoying questions? Stay tuned! And for the next part I nominate... Shorty! Zac (BTW, this message is very long...) Since nobody else wants to do it... PAFF parts 8 and 9! Fri May 28 14:06:38 1999 Andre's revenge part eight! By Dr Zachary... Andre': Ulp! Sonknuck: This time I'll kill you, Andre'! Andre': But how did you find me? Sonknuck: It was only an hour ago... (Flashback) Sonknuck: Oh, no! Poor Soneec... (bursts into tears) Rlan: There, there. She was a wonderful woman. Knuckles: She swore a bit too much... she may have gone to hell for that... Shorty: Oh, shut up! Knuckles: Sorry. Better get back to real life... my friend told me a funny story about a boy at his school who was expelled... (she leaves) Soneec: (Emerges from the shadows) She's gone. Phew, that's a relief. HMac: Be quiet, soneec. Can't you see we're mourning over the loss of... Shorty: CUT! Shorty: (Walks over to writer) How can you put this terrible joke into this extremely moving episode of "Andre's revenge"? Zac: Sorry... didn't mean to rub it in or anything... Shakespeare: Ee 'as deelayd moy prat. A' leest he splet it ole c'rectly. Zac: Shut up Shakespeare. I'll cut that bit out of the final take. Zac: Take TWO! Soneec: (Emerges from the shadows) She's gone. Phew, that's a relief. HMac: Soneec! You're alive! Soneec: And Andre' soon won't be... Riochet: But how will we find him? Rlan: I have not one, but TWO ideas! Sonknuck: Well, come on, tell us! Rlan: Well, firstly, we could follow the Zacatha prints... Sonknuck: Excellent idea... Rlan: And secondly, we all know where he is anyway! All: UH? Rlan: He's got to be in Samantha Land! All: Of course! Sonknuck: There's only one person who can make that jump... to go to Samantha Land and defeat Andre' once and for all! Mechatails: Who? Ultra_Mike: Uh, this wouldn't happen to be you by any chance, would it? (Back to reality...) Sonknuck: So I followed the footprints and found you here! Tails: interesting story... Andre: Only in the time you wasted telling us, we managed to get ourselves free! Sonknuck: Oh, bugger. Mysterious cloaked figure: Finally, I have you under my control! Sonknuck: Huh? It can't be... can it? Figure: Oh, yes it can...! Hahahahaha! Sonknuck: It's not another... Figure: Yes! Sonknuck: Not another... Figure: Ah-hahahaha! Sonknuck: Not another mysterious cloaked villain? Figure: What? No! I'm FAR more than just THAT! (Begins to remove his mask) Sonknuck: Ah! Ah! Figure: For you see... I AM DOCTOR ZACHARY! (To be continued... two lines below.) And now, just to get things going quicker, part nine of "Andre's Revenge!" Sonknuck: Zac? But weren't you changed into Zacatha and Super-Zac? Andre': How foolish our pathetic slave is. Zac: Yes, i quite agree. No, Sonknuck, I wasn't changed into Zacatha and Super-Zac... for I have mastered... (5 minutes of suspence later) Zac: CLONING! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sonknuck: So you created evil, imitating clones of yourself and put them into Sonic Pandemonium? Zac: Yes! They pretended to turn into zacatha and Super-Zac... Of course, that was just a load of crap. They were just pretending to be stupid! Sonknuck: Oh, no! Then Super-Zac will lead them... to their own destruction? Tails: Yes! HAHAHA! Super-Zac will miraculously return to normal... then the fools will be led by Super-Zac and they will destroy themselves! Sonknuck: Get real, guys! My friends will never follow any form of Zac... Zac: Not even... (Lifts a red cutain) Zac: The female version? Miss Zochy: Hee hee! Hi, fellow Sonic fans. Mwuh! Sonknuck: The world is doomed. Andre': And now, we will destroy you, Sonknuck! Sonknuck: NO!!!!! (Sonknuck struggles with Andre' and his shirt is torn in the process) Andre': That's it! (Kills Sonknuck) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TO BE CONTINUED! Shakespeare: But what about my part? Zac: Oh, yeah. i forgot. YOU'RE FIRED! Shakespeare: Oh, damn. Coming soon in part ten of "Andre's Revenge!": Will the Sonic Pandemonium gang fall for the cured Super-Zac? Is Sonknuck really dead? Oh, actually I can answer that second question now... yes he is (in the fanfic, not RL)! Will the SPG come across Miss Zochy? And for once, the rules have been changed! Now anyone can do the next part of "Andre's revenge!" And I mean ANYONE who has read every part! --Zac-- "ARGH! EVERYONE THINKS I'M ANDRE'!"-SecMan Shorty PAFF: Chapter 10 Tue Jun 1 14:40:55 1999 >SonKnuck:Get real, guys! My friends would never follow any form of Zac! >Zac: Not even a female version? >Miss Zocy: Hee hee hi fellow Sonic Fans. >SonKnuck: The world is doomed! >(KILLS SONKNUCK) And now we return to the stupid heads at SP in...... PAFF: Andre's Revenge. ---------------------- Chapter 10: Never trust girls..... ---------------------- SecMan: Where could he be? Shorty: Your right he should have been back hours ago. mechatails: Oh shut up meat head. Shorty: That's it you take that back!! mechatails: No way!! (Shorty and mecha tails start fighting) Rlan: Keep it down you guy's I think I can see him!! Shorty & mecha tails: Huh? (Out of deep fog come Super Zac and Miss Zocy) Riochet: Hey it's S Zac and he's brought a friend along. Super Zac: Hi guy's. Guess what.....I'm cured. All: Huh? Super Zac: And I brought a friend along. Miss Zocy: Hey all you Sonic guys. Shorty: (Start's drooling) What's your name sweet cheeks? Miss Zocy: Miss Zocy. H.Mac: Please to make your aquantons Zocy Shorty: F*** off Mac she's mine! H.Mac: MINE!! Shorty: MINE!! Ultra_Mike: There something fishy going on around here.... mechat: (Holds up a fish) Sorry. Shorty: I want Zocy....Wait a sec CUT! mecha tails: (Sighs) Oh Shorty what the hell was wrong with that scene then you mong. Shorty: That fish joke was so crummy a fish wouldn't have found it funny!(Looks around Right and left) Okay who wrote that in? mecha t: It was me auctual. Shorty: that's why it stunk so much! mecah t: Die in hell. Shorty: Your mother wears a.........hat..... mecha t: Is that the best you can do? Shorty: Grrrrrrr..... mecha: Grrrrrrr..... Director: And take 415! Ultra_Mike: There's something fishy going on around here.... Shorty: (Trying to kiss Zocy) Nonsense Mike your over reacting! Riochet: I wanna kiss Zocy!! H.Mac; Not before I do! mecha t: No me! Rlan: MEEEEE!! (Shorty and Zocy sneak off while vthe rest apart from Soneec fight, Soneec is sighing) (In the after life waiting room.) SonKnuck: (Asleep) ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz!!! Old Git: 'Ello SonKnuck! SonKnuck: Whaaaaaat?! How do you know my name Old Git? Hey how do I know your an old git?! Old Git: Everybody knows each others names in the after life. SonKnuck: Soooooooooo I did die.... Old Git: I watched yer. SonKnuck: How did it happen? Old Git: Well this pillock named Andre Dirk killed you by strangling you..... Sonknuck: Oh that F-. Old Git: I wouldn't swear here if I was you. SonKnuck: Why not? Old Git: you'll go to hell. SonKnucK; Oh right. (Earth- 13:05 GMT) Shorty: Well Zocy what do you do for a job? Zocy: I am a um...... student at.......ummm.... Shorty; It doesent matter. Zocy: You know your'e quite charming.... Shorty: (Blushes) Oh not really..... Zocy: What kind's of girl's do you like? Shorty: Well......Um...... Zocy: Girl's that do this.....(Kisses him) Shorty: fadert3sxhukm90@@krc321¬¬!!! Zocy: (Pulls him down into a bush) Come to bed..... (In the afterlife waiting room) SonKnuck: I can't die. I have friends I have family and I have to warn my friends about a fiendish plot made by Zac!! Old Git: Too bad. SonKnuck: Too bad? TOO BAD?! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH THE ***** IN F****NG HERE?! AND I DON'T GIVE A **** IF I'M ****ING SWAERING!! God: SonKnuck Please.....Wait a minute you have been here before!!£) SonKnuck: Hey God. God: You better not have brought that damned Hougan in here! SonKnuck: No sweat. God: Hmmmmmmmm.........Let's see you've died twice been kidnapped once and even been destroyed in an atomic fire! SonKnuck: So it looks like have to go to heaven...... God: Okay let's take a looky here at the swear omiter.... (Computer starts to overload.) God: ........... SonKnuck: Heh sorry about that. God; I SENTENCE THEE TO..... SonKnuck: Uh Oh here it comes. God: ...EARTH!! SonKnuck: Vas ist Das? Wha? Huh? Ee gads! God: You heard me get out go on! (Earth: 13:45) (SonKnuck suddenly pop's back onto Earth.) SonKnuck: Wow! What a ride! First class too! Now to warn my gang about Zac! (SonKnuck see's a bush rocking back and forth) SonKnuck: Helloooooo? What have we here? Shorty: Ahhhhhh!! SONKNUCK!! Miss Zocy: Who's there sugar lips? (See's SonKnuck) Ahhhh! Hisssss!! (Zocy runs off) Shorty: I scored! I scored! SonKnuck: (Frozen to the spot)....Nanggggggggg? Shorty: Isn't it wonderful? SonKnuck: (Pulling him self together) Shorty get prepared for a shock. (30 seconds later) Shorty: (Starts puking) Bleahhhhhhh!! SonKnuck: Gross! Gross! Shorty: Get home, Get clean, wash. SonKnuck: I pity you. Shorty: (Pukes again) (Back at TSPG HQ) Rlan: ME,ME,MEME,ME,ME,ME,ME,!! mechatails: Where is she? Rlan: Now what were we doing? Ultra_Mike: waiting for SonKnuck. Rlan: Yeah what ever. Soneec: Have you lot stopped fighting yet? All but Soneec: Yes. (SonKnuck burst's through the door) SonKnuck: (Points at S Zac) YOU! Need a hair cut.... S-Zac: NO YOUR DEAD!! (Shorty walks in) Riochet: what happened to you and wheres Zocy?! Shorty: I (Starts whispering) Riochet:.......HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!! mechatails: What is it Rio? Riochet: (Starts whispering)....HA!!HA!!ha!! SHORTY HAD SEX WITH A CLONE OF ZAC!! Everyone but Shorty & SonkNuck:HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAHAHAHA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!! Shorty: Oh f*** your momma mecha!! mecha: No Zac lover! SonKnucK: leave Shorty alone mecha you dick! mecha: get fu**ed tubby. SonKnuck:.....THAT'S IT YOU CAN KILL ME YOU CAN KIDDNAP ME BUT NO-ONE CALLS ME TUBBY HECK I'M NOT EVEN TUBBY AT THE MOMENT!(Transfornms into Super SonKnuck) S-Zac: Leave mecha alone this beetween you and me! Gulp felllow TSPGers what will happen next? Shorty P.S this is how FANFIC's are done!Merrie Prower mecha tails PAFF part 11 Tue Jun 1 18:15:03 1999 mecha tails: oh yea! (mecha tails transforms into phyco mecha tails) shotry: fight! phyco mecha tails: HA! i'll fight sonknuck after i fight you! super zac: NO! this is between sonknuck and me! phyco mecha tails: i don't care!!! super zac: lets fight! phyco mecha tails: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (phyco mecha tails throws a punch at super zac) super zac: ow! phyco mecha tails: serves you right! (phyco hits super zac agian) super zac: DAMN IT! that's it, now it's time to attack back! (super zac swings at phyco mecha tails, but misses) phyco mecha tails: you can't swing worth s@#$! (phyco mecha tails kills super zac) super sonknuck: now it's just between you and me. phyco mecha tails: bring it on! super sonknuck: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (super sonknuck throws a punch, but misses.) phyco mecha tails: is that all the better you can do? super sonknuck: nope (super sonknuck throws a ball of energy at phyco mecha tails) phyco mecha tails: HA! that puny energy ball cant hurt me! i'm inviencible! super sonknuck: me too! (all of a sudden the two are back to normal.) mecha tails: what the F@#$! sonknuck: what happend! mecha tails: i don't know what happend, but lets stop fighting. sonknuck: agreed. (mean while, zac is pissed about the fact that super zac was killed) zac: DAMN! I can't believed that heppened! i guess that i have to create another clone. (back at the place where sonknuck and mecha tails are) sonknuck: i came to warn you that zac has an evil plan. mecha tails: oh dear. shorty: tell us sonknuck: i came to tell you that zac is going to kill us all! zocy: that's right! now die!!!!!!!!! sonknuck and mecha tails: YEA RIGHT! (sonknuck turns into super sonknuck while mecha tails turns into phyco mecha tails) zocy: i'm not scared! (zocy turns into mega zocy) super sonknuck: i thought that you were just a clone! phyco mecha tails: me too. mega zocy: HA! time to die! (mega zocy throws two giant size energy ball at the two) super sonknuck and phyco mecha tails: HA! you can't hurt us! (both punch mega zocy, turning her back into regular zocy) super sonknuck and phyco mecha tails: TIME TO DIE!!!! (both kill zocy) shorty: well, at least that's over. (super sonknuck and phyco mecha tails turn back into their normal selfs.) sonknuck: at least we'er safe for the moment. mecha tails: yep, now lets find zac. i want a word with him. sonknuck: yea, he killed me. mecha tails: oh dear god, not agian. (at zac place) zac: GOD F@#$ING DAMN IT! NOW TWO OF MY CLONES ARE DEAD! i'll kill them personally! (zac runs to what looks like a dreadnought) zac: now i'll kill them all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! now that zac plans to kill the gang are foiled, what will he do? find out in the next part of the paff. Riochet PAFF Part 12 Thu Jun 3 15:55:51 1999 PAFF ---- Part12:Clone Wars ----------------- Zac:(At SSUB) Crap!! I gotta make more clones! WAIT! I'll make clones of AJ and Andre, and the others... (Later, all the clones are made) Zac: Yes! Now there are millions of duplicates that look like me! NOW DESTROY ANTI-ANTI SA!!!!!! All clones:Yes, master. (All go to base) Shorty:Yes! I got the cloner machine to work! Riochet:Come on! Lets get clonin'! (All get cloned) SecMan:SECMAN CLONES! OVER HERE! (All clones get with the origanals) (Zacs' clones goto an open feild) Zac:Where are they? (Huge tanks come towards Zac) Zac:Oh crap Soneec:FIRE!!! Zac:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SonKnuck:FIRE! (All fire, but doesn't destroy the clones) Zac:Hehehe,CLONES, ATTACK!!!!!!!!! Soneec:Right back at ya! Rio:CLONES, ATTACK!!!!! (A huge metal thing comes out with the clones hanging on it. The clones unfold,pull out lasers, and attack the Zac clones.) Riochet10:Die,Zacogan Zacogan:Don't count on it! Shorty5:Zacatha,DIE!!! (Shorty5 smashes Zacatha with hammer) Zacatha:There goes my fgk;lf;ggl; insurence premeium.lgmnlk! Rlan78:DIE!! HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (Rlan78 zaps Zac clones with laser gun) Zandre and Zac Supron:KJlkjlkfjdslgjsjldjldkfhjldkfjlkgjhl!! Shorty:(In tank) FIRE!!! (Alot of Zac clones die from blast) Zac:OH NO! MORE CLONES!! MOVE! MOVE!!! (More Zac clones come) Zandre2:DIE!!! mechatails401:PLASMA BOMB, DESTROY THEM! (mechatails401 throws a bomb at Zac clones) Zacaj:LKZJlkclkgflnglkngls lnfgkdmfgojfgsfgkjflgk!!!! (Soon all of the Zac clones are wiped out) Zac:Um,uh,... SecMan:Shutup Zac! Now it's just you and us... Zac:AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Zac runs away) Soneec:Follow him! All:YEAH!! End of Part12........... For thee next part, I nominate: Shorty Zac PAFF: Andre's Revenge Part Thirteen Mon Jun 7 13:48:21 1999 And now... Andre's Revenge Part Thirteen: Deadly Dreaming! ________________________________________________________ Zac: Augh... uagh... Andre': Oh, wake up Zac... Zac: THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO KILL ME-- uh? Where am I? Hang on... I'm back at the lab... AJ Freda: Look, I'll explain everything later. We've got a big problem right now... Andre': ISDA has found us out! Zac: What? Andre': Soneec reported my ROM site to them! We've got to go... now! Zac: DAMN you, Andre'! I warned you about those ROMs...! Andre': We've no time to lose! That wretched ISDA is ramming the door open! We have only seconds to escape! Zac: Quick! Into the escape pod! AJ: What about the cloning device? Zac: We can build more cloning devices easily! Just bring the notes! And don't forget to destroy everything! Andre': I've got them all on this ZIP disk! Zac: Okay, come on! The gang head towards an escape pod. Inside the pod... Zac: Oh! That terrible headache... AD: You had just sent Zochy out, then you collapsed onto the couch! Zac: I had a terrible dream... AJ: Tell us about it! Zac: Sonknuck came back to life, and everyone started waging a clone war upon me! AJ: That is creepy. Zac: The Zochy clone was killed, along with the others! AD: This is too terrible! Zac: And the gang at Sonic Pandemonium made their own clone device! AD: Well, that'll never happen. Those fools are not as advanced as us. Zac: Where's the Zip disk? AD: It's right here, your majesty! Zac: AAAARGH! You've put all the files onto this Zip disk? AD: That's right. Zac: But it's a 250 DISK! AD: Eep. Zac: WE DON'T HAVE A 250 DRIVE! And I hope you forgot to destroy everything... AJ: As a matter of fact I did forget. Zac: PHEW! AD: But the ISDA is probably there now! Zac: Then it's up to you to sneak in, get the info, and sneak out! Preferably print it out... then plant this bomb! AD: How will I get out though? Zac: Through the window... Back at the lab, Thomas Pitt of ISDA is investigating with Soneec. Tom: So this is where Andre' was operating his ROM site from? Soneec: Yes it wa...aaaAAAH! Tom: What is it, Alison? Soneec: Look at the screen-- what that evil Andre' has done to poor old Sonknuck! Tom: Is he--? Soneec: Of couse he is! Can't you see? He's disposing of the body on that tape! Tom: Wait... look at that! Soneec: What? Tom: On the floor! There's a piece of his shirt! Soneec: Why... so there is... Tom: And look at all these devices around us! I'm sure that he uses cloning a lot! Soneec: That gives me an idea...! Soon... Soneec: Finally! A clone, perfect in every aspect! It even shares Sonknuck's memories and his emotions! Tom: Bring it to life...! Meanwhile, in another corner of the room... AD: Oh, come on printer... please print... wait, what's Soneec doing with the device? Soneec brings the clone to life. AD: I'm in hot doo-daa... The printer finishes its work, and Andre' escapes. AD: Eat lead, Soneec and the rest of you suckers! Andre' drops a bomb. Soneec: Uh-oh... The Sonknuck clone: Don't worry, Soneec and Tom-- I'll save you! Soneec: Who are you? Sonknuck Clone: I am Ace Sonknuck! At the SPHQ, SecMan and Shorty are pondering over the suspicious curing of Super Zac... SecMan: Wow! Super-Zac has been cured! Shorty: I'm a little suspicious... Zochy: Hello, boys! Shorty: Hubba hubba! SecMan: Shorty, wait! It's a trap! Zochy: Don't listen to him! He reckons I'm a Zac clone with a sex change-- but that's so far-fetched! Shorty: I will only listen to one person... Zochy: Yes... me... Shorty: And that person is... SECMAN! SecMan: Good on you, Shorty! Shorty: Don't call me that any more! For I am now... Bean! SecMan and Shorty beat Zochy up. Shorty: Let's go tell the others! Zacatha: no so fat! SecMan: This really isn't my day... TOBY CONTINUED! Er... I mean... to be continued! What will happen to Soneec and Ace Sonknuck in the lab? Will Andre' and Zac and AJ escape to safety? Will SecMan and Shorty be able to beat up Zochy, Super Zac and Zacatha at the same time as warning the gang about the clones? You'll find out when you write Andre's Revenge: Part 14! -- Zac DZ PAFF: Andre's Revenge Part Fourteen Tue Jun 22 13:39:36 1999 Well, seeing as NOBODY wants to do the PAFF any more, this is another of my attempts to spring it back into life! Summary: check out http://members.xoom.com/rlan/PAFF/paff1.txt for what has happened so far! Andre's Revenge Part 14: Nightmare of Apocalypse Zacatha: no so fat! SecMan: This really isn't my day... Zacatha: i wil no hirt yuo,, zachy wonam, buty i muts killl teh evi secmen an shotty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 Shorty: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! SecMan: Button it, Shirty! (Turning to Zacatha) I am a close personal friend of your master. Zacatha: then yool haff too go throo me furt!! (An army of genetically modified Zacs appear) Spiffing Zac: Jolly good, pip pip! Hack Zac: So, whose computer do you want me to hack into this time, Lt. Zacatha? Zac Girl: I look really stupid in this dress, Zacatha! Zak: I hate it when Nigel Kitching spells my name wrong!!! DZ: That's why I changed my name to DZ! Donkey Zac: Ugga ugga! Me likey bananas! Doctor Kong: I really think I shouldn't be here. Zacatha: ha haha!!!!!!1 yor finit. secmen an sherry!!!! Shorty: That's Shorty, little miss! Zacatha: grrrrrrr!!!! i no like peepol collinn mee litle gil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shorty: Zac, what's into you? You've started behaving VERY oddly... Zacatha: soo, yoo se thoo digizes!!! Shorty: Well, has Andre' cloned you, or something? SecMan: Shut up, Shirty! Take me to your leader, Zacatha! Zacatha shrinks SecMan with a laser. SecMan: Aargh! Zacatha: i wil takk yooo noow......,. SecMan: Help meeeeeeeee... Zacatha: haha!!!!!!!! Shorty: Where has SecMan gone? Zacatha disappears with SecMan and the army. A few weeks later... Shorty: I'm not leaving until I get an answer outta you! Zacatha...! Andre': (From a nearby prison) Are you still here, Shorty? The PAFF finished ages ago! Shorty: So... oh, damn! I've been wasting my time! I'd better go back to when I started asking those questions. Shorty stops for a moment. Shorty: What do I say when I arrive? Andre': I'm ba-ack! Shorty: Ugh! I really say that? Andre': No, not really... Shorty: then what do I say? Andre': "I'm a big fat moron and everyone hates me and I'm a homosexual and I'm stupid" and then you go running around the place with no clothes on. Shorty: Wow! I must have been acting really out of character! Andre': It hasn't happened yet... just GO... Shorty: Uh... byeeee... (Warps off) Andre' walks out from behind a prop jail. AD: Heheheheheheheh... TO BE CONTINUED! I'll be writing the next part, and then it's up to you to continue "Andre's revenge!" DZ PAFF: Andre's Revenge Part Fifteen Thu Jun 24 15:06:55 1999 The story so far: http://members.xoom.com/Rlan/paff/paff1.txt Andre's Revenge Part Fifteen Nightmarez Zac's laboratory... Ace: Don't worry, you two... I'll save you! Ace Sonknuck shields the pair from the blast. Soneec: thanks for saving us. Ace: I am yours to obey, oh master. Tom: We've got to find that hacker Andre' Dirk! ISDA wants a few words with him! Soneec: Well, let's get out of this rubbled lab! Ace crushes all the rubble into diamond-like stones. Soneec: Hey, I didn't know you could do that! Ace: I always have been able to... I just didn't know until now. Soneec: Dying made a lotta difference... Ace: You mean I'm DEAD? Soneec: Yeah, didn't you know? Ace: No... Soneec: Well, Sonknuck died, and you're his clone. Ace: Really? Tom: With a bit of the alternate Sonknuck thrown in. Ace: Wha--? Soneec: Never mind. (To Tom) Shut it, Tom! (Back to Sonknuck) Well, let's get a move on! Ace: Uh...where are we going? The escape pod. Doctor Zachary is sitting still at the pilot's helm. AJ is sitting in the luxury appartment behind him. DZ: I'm receiving something... AJ: (Waking up) What? Andre' enters the pod. Andre': I'm ba-ack! DZ: At last! Did you get the print-out? AD: Print-out? Uh, what did I do with it? AJ: Don't tell me you LOST it! AD: No... I gave it to my new friend... (Desmond Castner steps out from behind the shadows.) AD: Dez! DC: I'm only too happy to help you. After all, if it wasn't for you, we would have NEVER got our hands on the Sonic 2 Beta rom... DZ: Yeah yeah... whatever... DC: Do you mind if I check my e-mail? AD: Sure, sure... go ahead. (Andre' remembers something important...) AD: NO! NO! Don't touch that computer! DC: Why not? Andre' smashes the computer, blowing it to smithereens. Andre' has mailbombed Dez, of course... DZ: You blundering fool! What did you do that for? AJ: Wait... it doesn't matter any more! DZ: Ah, you're right... for now we are approaching... (Big shot of a huge citadel...) Director: CUT! DZ: Wha--? Why? Director: A fanfic doesn't have camera directions in it! AD: And neither does it have a director! Get stuffed! Dir: Whoops... Back to reality... ... SAMANTHADEL! (... in the shape of an enormous pie.) DZ: I am intercepting another ship... this one looks much BIGGER than this one, but it isn't... DC: Dock at Samanthadel and we can meet them in person! At the Samanthadel landing bay... Samantha Droid: Welcum too samanthadel. we arr the samantha drodz. yoo aer doccer zacnhy or leddre. folo mee. DZ: I obey no bad spellers! (shoots S.D.) The other ship docks and Zacatha comes out. Zacatha: bwahahah! i haff shuck trhe secmen an hee is sumwarez arpound heer!! olly i cat fid him bexcose he is two small!!!!!!!!! DZ: I HATE BAD SPELLERS! Zacatha: Oh, all right. I'll speak normally now, oh master. DZ: Much better. AD: YOU IDIOT! NOW WE'VE LOST SECMAN! Good Zac: I'm FRIGHTFULLY Sorry about this, old boy. Meanwhile, back at SPHQ... Shorty: I'm not leaving here until I get ANSWERS! Shorty of the future arrives. SOTF: Ah... shaddup. Microscopic SM: Hey! Shorty! Shorty: What? Did I just hear something? (Steps on SecMan.) MSSM: Ow. Shorty: Must have just been me. TO BE CONTINUED!!! Bwahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhagarahga! Now someone will have to continue this fanfic because it is a PAFF and I've done the last three parts! Bwahahahaahahahaha! DZ PAFF: Andre's Revenge Part Sixteen Mon Jun 28 13:29:39 1999 The story so far: http://members.xoom.com/rlan/PAFF/ Unfortunately Rlan hasn't been able to update his PAFF archive, so you'll have to find part 15 yourself by going to http://disc.server.com/discussion.cgi?id=42221&article=00000 And since nobody's interested any more, I'm taking the liberty of continuing the PAFF by myself! But if you want to continue it, you're more than welcome to! Andre's Revenge Part 16: The Takeover! DZ: BWAAAAAAAAARGH!!! GZ: I'm SO sorry, o humble master... DZ: Well, we'll just have to find SecMan, won't we? At SPHQ... Mechatails: hey! you can't just ban me like that! Soneec: I'm afraid your contract is terminated. MT: WAAAH!!! HM: You can't ban me, Soneec! I didn't know that ICQ thing was a hoax! Soneec: Oh, get out, morons. HM and MT leave. MT: Bwa! I HATE DZ! HM: DZ? He's not the one to blame! I'm siding with Andre' to get rid of that Soneec once and for all! MT: Well, I'm waging a one-man war against Zac and I'm opening my OWN message boards. A goblinesque Zac clone appears on a mini-glider. Zac Goblin: So, Soneec threw you two out, eh? MT: (not realising this is Zac or a clone of Zac) Yea. I'm going to start my own message board to get her back. HM: I'm going to side with Andre'! ZG: Excellent idea, Mac... I'll take you to him. As for you... MT: I'm going to start my own message board! ZG: And you can come with me to DiscApp, where you can start your own message board! MT: Oh, goody goody! I'm going to have my own message board! HM: A whole journey with him? You've gotta be kidding... ZG knocks MT out with knock-out gas... HM: You're really cool; I hope you know that. Back at SP... Soneec: Now, with those two clots out of the way, I can find the enemies of the state! Soneec reads the computer screen. ASK: Where are they, mother? Soneec: Oh, no... Sonknuck, I am not your mother. Tom Pitt: And I'm not your father... Soneec, Well, he does have a point. After all, we gave birth to him... TP: You mean RE-birth... Soneec: But nobody sent me a message entitled "birth"! TP: Oh, never mind... ASK: So, where is my real mother? Soneec: We told you before... you're just a clone of a dead person; you have no parents. ASK: I have no... (sniff) parents? Soneec: Oh, could we just get on with this search? Shorty: Er, Soneec... I think I just stepped on something... Samanthadel... DZ: Oh, yes.. this is what I like... everybody in the room bowing down to me... ZG: Oh master, we have guests! DZ: What? You've finally killed Mechatails? HM: No, he's only knocked him out. We're saving the killing part for when he wakes up... DZ: I hope you're going to let me kill him... ZG: Of course, honourable master. DZ: For now, throw him into prison! AD: What is the enemy doing here... alive? DZ: Yes, what is Hyper Mac doing here, Goblin? HM: Soneec banned me from SPHQ! Now I want to join your side! DZ: EXCELLENT! HM: I didn't know it was YOU in charge of Samantha Land, Doctor Zachary... DZ: Well, I am the most evil of them all... AD: Sonknuck is GAY! AJ: Sonknuck is DEAD! AD: Sonknuck WAS gay! HM: You killed Sonknuck? DZ: I think we may just have to throw someone else into prison... HM: COOL! AD: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH! HM: Hang on... if you killed Sonknuck, how come I saw him just before I left SPHQ? DZ: What? Sonknuck's still ALIVE??? AD: Oh, yeah... I forgot to tell you... DZ: TELL ME WHAT? AD: Soneec and Tom Pitt brought Sonknuck back to life! AJ: But it's only a clone! There's a 1% possiblity that he hasn't regained his memory-- although the odds are VERY low on it being ANYWHERE as high as 1%... DZ: If you want something done properly, kill Andre' first. Well, I suppose we'll just have to launch an attack on SPHQ immediately! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AD: Hehehehe! TO BE CONTINUED!!! mecha tails paff part 17. Mon Jun 28 18:42:28 1999 DZ: lets attack andre now. (at andres house) andre: what is that sound? (DZ comes in) DZ: DIE!!! (kills andre) DZ: now lets get SP HQ! but first i want to do something. (in a tourture chamber) mecha tails: ohh, i dont feel so good DZ: i will now kill you! (the DZ takes out a knife and starts to stab mecha tails) mecha tails: AHHH!!!!!!!! (mecha tails wakes up) soneec: mecha? mecha? MECHA WAKE UP! mecha tails: oh! soneec, i just had a bad dream, (see paff parts 13-16). soneec:weird. mecha tails: what happend? soneec: well, we got zac with the clones. mecha tails: oh good, now what? sonknuck: we get andre. mecha tails: ok, lets go. (TSPG leave SP HQ to get andre) (at andre's place, we see andre planing another scheme to get TSPG) andre: yes! i've got it, i try to trick them with a sonic 2 gamma hoax! (all of a sudden, TSPG comes in) TSPG: no we wont let you! andre: OH YEA! (reavials a curtain) TO BE CONTINUED! what is behind the curtan? will they stop andre? find out in the next part of the paff. Dezmond Castner PAFF part 18 Mon Jun 28 19:44:24 1999 (we start off at Dez's house...) DC:MUAHAHHA THATS THE LAST OF THE E-MAILS!! SC:And now...The FINAL PLAN!!! DC:Yes...Now that i have alhold of Andre's Password and Username to the site...NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!AHAHAHAHAH! SC:NOW WE WILL TURN HIS SITE INTO A PORNO SITE!! DC:MUAHAAHHAHA! SC:what the hell???!?!! ANDY:YOU MUST DIE FOR YOUR CRIMES!! DC:(pulls out gun and kicks his ass) DC:Crap he knows what we are doing!And soon all of EmulationZone.org will be here to fuck me over! AD:MUAHAHAHAHA!!I HAVE ROSEN FROM THE GRAVE TO RAPE YOUR KIDS!! DC:I'm only 13 gaywad.I dont even have kids yet. AD:Oh.Well in that case...I WILL RAPE....(DUH DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH)....MYSELF!! (AD suddenly strips,at which point Dez faints from indescent exposure to Andres "Fat_Bastard" body.) DC:FUCK IM FUCKIN BLIND!!NOOOOOOOO! (AD is STILL raping him self.) AD:MMMMMMMMMMM YES THIS FEELS GOOD!I HAVENT SEEN MY ASS IN 20 YEARS!! Will Dez ever recover from his blindness?Will Soneec and Dez complete thier plan to turn SoSth into a Porno site?Will Andre EVER stop screwing himself?(probably not!) FIND OUT ALL THE ANSWERS IN THE NEXT EPISODE!! (I apologize for being so sick in this fan fic,heheh) SonKnuck PAFF part 19 Mon Jun 28 19:59:04 1999 Previously on the PAFF: AD:MUAHAHAHAHA!!I HAVE ROSEN FROM THE GRAVE TO RAPE YOUR KIDS!! DC:I'm only 13 gaywad.I dont even have kids yet. AD:Oh.Well in that case...I WILL RAPE....(DUH DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH)....MYSELF!! (AD suddenly strips,at which point Dez faints from indescent exposure to Andres "Fat_Bastard" body.) DC:FUCK IM FUCKIN BLIND!!NOOOOOOOO! (AD is STILL raping him self.) AD:MMMMMMMMMMM YES THIS FEELS GOOD!I HAVENT SEEN MY ASS IN 20 YEARS!! -------------------------------------------------------- Soneec: Dez? Dez? DEZMOND WAKE UP! DC: Huh? What? It's a dream? Andre is not raping himself? Soneec: OH BERK! What a nightmare! Lets go! We are going to kill Andre with TSPG! DC: Ok, I agree. {At Andre's house} Andre: Now, lets see what you can do when you can't move! Riochet: huh? SecMan: What? H. Mac: WATCH OUT! A paralyzer machine is behind the curtain! {SonKnuck runs away} Mechatails: SonKnuck! Where you going? Don't surrender! SonKnuck: Don't worry! I know what I do! Andre: You are the first SK! {Andre shoots and misses} SonKnuck: Ha-ha! Shorty: Where did he go??? {When Andre is going to retry he hears a Uh-Oh on his computer} Andre: Grr.. {The message is from SonKnuck saying: "ANDRE! PRESS THE BUTTON AGAIN AND SAY GOOD BYE TO YOUR COMPUTER!"} Miles: What is he talking about? SonKnuck can't do anything! Soneec: Yes he can and I know what he is going to do! Miles: Really? Soneec: Yep! {Andre reply: "Hi babe! :)"} {At SonKnuck's home} SonKnuck: Ok Andre! You harassing me! Say Good Bye to your computer and ICQ account! {SonKnuck opens a prog on his computer and click the buton "format"} {Suddenly, a message appears on Andre's computer} Message: Formatting! 1%... 2%... 3%............. Andre: WHAT THE...? ARGH! Andre: NOBODY MOVE! I'M GOING TO KILL SONKNUCK! {Andre leaves} Soneec: Woohoo! SonKnuck have win the first round! {SonKnuck enters} SonKnuck: Did I suceed? SecMan: Yes! You did it! H. Mac: WHat the...? Shouldn't you be to your home?? SonKnuck: No, I had my portable computer because I knew Andre was going to go to my home to kill me! H. Mac: Great! We are out of troubles now! Mechatails: I don't think so! Riochet: Why?... Hum... Don't reply, stupid question. SonKnuck: What are you talking about???? SecMan: This trouble is behind you SonKnuck! Voice: It seems you forgot me guys! No? SonKnuck: HUH? TO BE CONTINUED... Who's this trouble behind SonKnuck? What's going to happen when Andre find out that SonKnuck wasn't home? All this and more in the next part of the PAFF! Dezmond Castner PAFF PART 20!!MUAHAHAH Mon Jun 28 21:33:37 1999 (Previously on PAFF....) Soneec: Dez? Dez? DEZMOND WAKE UP! DC: Huh? What? It's a dream? Andre is not raping himself? Soneec: OH BERK! What a nightmare! Lets go! We are going to kill Andre with TSPG! DC: Ok, I agree. SonKnuck: Ok Andre! You harassing me! Say Good Bye to your computer and ICQ account! {SonKnuck opens a prog on his computer and click the buton "format"} {Suddenly, a message appears on Andre's computer} Message: Formatting! 1%... 2%... 3%............. Andre: WHAT THE...? ARGH! Andre: NOBODY MOVE! I'M GOING TO KILL SONKNUCK! H. Mac: Great! We are out of troubles now! Mechatails: I don't think so! Riochet: Why?... Hum... Don't reply, stupid question. SonKnuck: What are you talking about???? SecMan: This trouble is behind you SonKnuck! Voice: It seems you forgot me guys! No? SonKnuck: HUH? ____________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------ And now......The PAFF...Part 20.... Voice:AHAHAHA!YOU WILL NOW SUCCUMB TO MY WRATH!! SonKnuck:Who are you? Mechatails:And if you want us to "face your wrath",you have got another think coming! (Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes,immobilizing Mechatails.) Mechatails:AAHHH!!! Riochet:FUCK! Sonknuck:This is guy is bad-ass! H.Mac:I think it would be wise if we got out of here.... (suddenly Dez and Soneec bust in the door...) DC:Whats going on here? SC:We heard a loud sound! DC:What the hell!Mechatails is having a seisure! SC:And who is this masked stranger?? (The stranger then removes his cloak and mask.....) (everyone gasps) DC:Theres nothing there!! H.Mac:I think this is Andre's doing....... (everyone agrees and sets off to Sonknuck's house to capture Andre and kill him...ONCE AND FOR ALL!) Andre:Sonknuck...where are you????I just want to KICK YOUR ASS! (then,the whole gang busts in the door...) Sonknuck:DAMMIT GUYS!I JUST BOUGHT THAT DOOR! (everyone apologizes) Andre:What are you doing here?!?!?! DC:We have come here to put an end to this endless fighting.... SC:And if that means killing you..... H.Mac:Then so be it! Sonknuck:But why are you wearing that stuipid cloak?? Andre:I was hoping to hide it...but now that the time is right....i will show you how DZ'S and Miles Prower's surgical and technilogical experience has payed off.. (Andre then takes off the cloak...) Everyone execept Andre:WHAT THE HELL!!!?!??!?! Andre:AHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!I have been subject to numourse experiments to test electronical deviceses,and see if they work on live,human subjects.....the tests worked....and now if you want to kill me...you will have to take on my ROBOTIC LIMBS!!AHAHAHAHAH!! (Andre then fires off a rocket,blasting H.Mac out the door.) H.Mac:NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo....... DC:FUCK! SC:LOOK OUT! (Andre then fires off a laser,just missing Soneec's head and frying through a diamond statue.) Sonknuck:GOD DAMMIT IM GONNA BE FUCKIN BROKE BEFORE THIS FIGHT IS OVER!! Andre:SHUT UP PEASENT!!! (Andre then flies up into the air and drops 20 bombs on Sonknuck.) Sonknuck:AHHHHH!!! Mechatails:Hes too strong!! (Andre then takes out the rest of the people....) Andre:AHAHAHAHAH!!NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME MY SERVANTS,TELLING PEOPLE THAT MY GAMMA ROM IS REAL,OR YOU WILL DIE!!AHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!WHAT THE....hell.....(falls onto ground,dead.....) SW:That takes care of him..... (SW then rushes everyone to the hospital....) A month later..... DC:Man.So thats it! SC:Yep.we are rid of Andre once and for all. (Suddenly.....) DC:What the hell?!?!?(gets lifted up in air by invisible force....) DC:NOOOOOO!(gets smashed into wall...) SC:??!??!?!??!?!?! (Soneec then gets fried by a laser beam....) Invisible Stranger:AHAHAHAH!!Even though my master has fallen.....I have brought back his life form....and now...I....AM......HIM!!!!(Then uncloaks...) Mecha Andre:I AM ANDRE!!!!I have been reborn,using limbs and the brain of Andre,all put together in a robotic body...AND NOW I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!AHAHAHAAH!!! Zac:And now.... Miles Prower:It's time to..... Samantha:py tha pipeear Miles Prower:AAAHHHHHGG!!ITS SAMANTHA!!QUICK MECHA ANDRE KILL...uh...what is it?Is it female,male or what? Zac:Hell i dont know.JUST KILL IT!! (samantha then gets brutally torn apart) Zac:AND NOW WITH IT OUT OF THE WAY,WE WILL RULE ETERNALLY!! ------------------------------------------------------------ ____________________________________________________________ To be continued....MUAHHAHAHHA! mecha tails PAFF part 21 Mon Jun 28 22:18:20 1999 >DZ: AND NOW WITH IT OUT OF THW WAY, WE WILL RULE ETRANILLY! (mecha tails rushes out of the hospital as fast as he can, and do to his injuries, its not very fast) mecha tails: oh god, i know that zac is after them agian! i got to stop him! but first, i need to stop at SP HQ! OW! damn these injuries! (back at where zac is fighting soneec and DC) soneec: were going to stop you zac! DZ: oh, i like to see you try! soneec: i bet we could woop your ass any day! DZ: i like to see you try! mecha andre! DESTROY THEM! (mecha andre starts to attack) soneec: F**K! he's too strong! he is going to kill us all mecha tails: not if i can help it! soneec: how did you get out of the hospital? mecha tails: well, i was able to walk from the hospital, but veeeeery slowly. (mecha tails wips out his plasma pistol and fires, shooting off one of mecha andre's limbs) mecha andre: OWW! why you F**King BASTARD! DIE!!!! (mecha andre fires at mecha tails) mecha tails: AHHHH! zac, how did you get out of SP HQ prision? DZ: andre let me loose, now die! dezmond: NOO! DIE YOU MOTHER F**KER soneec: Same for me! KILL HIM! mecha andre: i'll start with mecha tails: mecha tails: AHH! (mecha tails fires his plasama pistol agian, destroying mecha andre) DZ: S**T! see ya, losers. (zac throws a smoke bomb, slowing down mecha tails, soneec, and dezmond) soneec: he's getting away! after him! TO BE CONTINUED now soneec, mecha tails, and dezmond are after zac, will they get him? find out in the next part of the paff! Dezmond Castner PAFF PART 22 BABIEEE Mon Jun 28 22:35:20 1999 (With Soneec,Mechatails,and Dezmond on the run to put Zac back in his place at the Sonic HQ PRISON!!!) SC:Damn!HE got away!! DC:Crap we need some REAL help...... (they then go to Emulationzone.org....) Andy Wolan:So what can i do for you Dezmond? DC:We need some REAL help man!We keep on doing blows to Andre and his evil army,but he keeps on coming back!We need YOU to ban his page or something!! AW:Well i cant ban him...... DC:OH well then lets go....you know what screw this i am outta ideas....... Director:cut!! (everyone leaves for a coffee break until the next part) TO BE CONTINUED!! mecha tails paff part 23 Mon Jun 28 22:56:46 1999 mecha tails: WAIT! fanfic dont have directors, GET THE HELL OUT! WANNABIE DIRECTOR: NO!!!! (mecha tails throws a sink at the wannabie director) wannabie director: ohh... (the wannabie director falls unconsius) mecha tails: back to the paff now.... if we cant ban andre and his evil army, what do we do? soneec: simple, we KILL andre and his army! mecha tails: but that's the prolblem, we cant, they just keep coming back. what do we do? soneec: lets get the others, and see what we can do. (back at SP HQ) soneec: i have called you all here to talk about something important, we keep atacking andre and his evil army but they just come back. we need to rid the enemy once and for all! but what do we do? mecha tails: but what can we do? soneec: i thought up of something, although anti-SA is long gone, andre might be still anti-SA! mecha tails: what does this mean? soneec: we must use SA agians andre somehow. TO BE CONTINUED! will soneec's plan work? will andre and his evil army go away? find out in the next part of the paff. Dezmond Castner PAFF PART 24!! Mon Jun 28 23:25:42 1999 ZAC:I HAVE NOW BROGHT ANDRE BACK TO LIFE!!MUAHAHAHA!! Andre:ahh damn it feels so much better to be back to life.Zac,you will be getting some extra head this week as your paycheck!! Zac:oh thank you my lovlieness!! SC:STOPP RIGHT THERE!! DC:LETS GIVE IT TO HIM BOYS!!(turns on boombox) (tape starts playing) Andre:what are you gonna do with that,hit me over the head? H.Mac:LETS OPEN UP OUR HEARTS BABIE!!! Sonknuck:I love this song.... boombox:Well,I don't show off, don't criticize I'm just livin' by my own feelings And I won't give in, won't compromise I just only have a steadfast heart of gold I don't know why, I can't leave though it might be tought But I ain't out of control, just livin' by my word Don't ask me why, I don't need a reason I got my way, My own way *It doesn't matter now what happens I will never give up the fight There is no way I will run away frow all of my frights Long as the voice inside me say go, I will always keep on running There is no way to stop from going to the very top It doesn't matter who is wrong and who is right Well, I won't look back I don't need to Time won't wait and I got so much to do Where do I stop, it's all a blur and so unclear Well, I don't know but I can't be wrong This fight is not for anybody, this is purely for myself There is no way I'm gonna give up 'til the very end I can't tell what is wrong and what is right, I've got to find the answer But I do there's no way I will ever give up Place all your bets an the one you think is right (Guitar solo) Andre:AAAHHGGGG FUCK ITS SONICS SONG FROM SA!! H.Mac:and if you think that was bad...TASTE THIS!! boombox:I got out my map and chose a place I wanted to go to ...Packed up my stuff, set out for adventure... I know that your lucky colour is that cool shade of blue ...Won't mind painting myself blue for you... I guess I'm so easy to understand I just do what ever that comes to me naturally I do understand the feelings of s Persian Cat ...But the Sphinx looked so cute I had to shave it... He reminds me of parsley when he's standing there all alone ...Makes me wanna be his specialite... I guess I'm just a self-centered girl But there are nights that I have trouble going to sleep * Sweet sweet you're so sweet - So many things I want Sweet sweet you're so sweet - I wanna be a wonderful girl Sweet sweet you're so sweet - I'm not simple-minded Sweet sweet you're so sweet - And I won't be a pearl You probably need me just as much as I need you (Pf solo) Are you okay you seems to be a little bit tense ...You don't have to worry 'bout a single thing... We are free to get whatever that we want to have ...We're also free to do whatever we want... That's what we'll do that's what we'll do We should live our lives the way we think it ought to be Sweet sweet you're so sweet - There's no where to hide Sweet sweet you're so sweet - Come on settle our lives Sweet sweet you're so sweet - I'll always be there for you Sweet sweet you're so sweet - In the best and worst times You can be my sweetest honey for enernity *Repeat I honestly need you just as much as you need me Andre:OH GOD ITS AMY'S SONG FUCK I CANT STAND IT!! Sonknuck:WELL GET READY FOR THE BIG ASS SONG OF THEM ALL: boombox:Thunder, rain, and lightning Danger, water rising Clamour, sirens wailing It's such a bad sign Shadows of dark creatures Steel clouds floating in the air People run for shelter What's gonna happen to us!? All the steps we take, all the moves we make, all the pain at stake I see the chaos for everyone who are we what can we do You and I are same in the way that we have our own styles that we won't change Your's is filled with evil and mine's not there is no way I can lose * Can't hold on much longer - But I will never let go I know it's a one way track - Tell me now how long this'll last I'm not gonna think this way - Nor will I count on others Close my eyes and feel it burn - Now I see what I've gotta do OPEN YOUR HEART, IT'S GONNA BE ALLRIGHT Ancient city blazing Shadows keep attacking Little children crying Confusion, hopeless anger I don't know what it can be but you drive me crazy All your cunning tricks make me sick, you won't have it your own way *Repeat OPEN YOUR HEART...AND YOU'LL SEE... (Guitar Solo) If it won't stop, there will be no future for us Its heart is tied down by all the hate, gotta set him free I know it's a one way track - Tell me now how long this'll last Close my eyes and feel it burn - Now I see what I've gotta do GOTTA OPEN YOUR HEART, DUDE! * Repeat OPEN YOUR HEART, IT'S GONNA BE ALLRIGHT Andre:NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!(goes into cardiac arrest) (everyone cheers) Zac:NOT SO FAST MOTHA FUCKAZ!!! DC:What is it this time you gaywad? Zac:Well i just wanted to tell you...im sorry for all i have done....i was really molested and fucked up the ass as a kid....thats why i was accepting Andre giving head as payment....i wont do anything more.....im sorry... SC:Really? Zac:No,i am bullshitting you about being sorry and me being ur friend...but im not bullshitting boaut everything else!!AHAHAHAHHA(picks up andre,trying to make him give head the whole way to the hospital) TO BE CONTINUED Stone Cold Steve Austin PAFF part end because it's gay Mon Jun 28 23:56:15 1999 Previously in PAFF..I don't give a damn. Now: Stone Cold Steve Austin walks in, drinks beer, and stunners everybody until they die, and die in a way that they can nver come back in way or form and thus the story ends and no this wasn't a dream. And everyone is dead and no one can time travel to stop it either. The end. Dezmond CAstner PAFF part 25 Tue Jun 29 00:58:40 1999 DC:SUCK MY DICK AUSTIN,WWF CAN SUCK IT!! (Dezmodn then proceeds to kick austins ass,using only his pinky finger.) GAYWADAUSTIN:i beg for mercy DC:Thats more like it Dezmond Castner PAFF PART 26 Tue Jun 29 03:21:23 1999 (After kicking Stone Cold's ass,the group then proceeds to YarHarHar's house....) EVERYONE:FUCK YOU! (everyone then proceeds to rape his family,kick the familys ass and overall blow the fuck outta the place.) (everyone then does the same to Andre's place,Stone Cold's place,DZ's place,Miles Prower's place,and so on.) DC:Wow whatta dream that rocked! But now back to kicking Andres ass! To Be Continued Riochet PAFF Part 26 Tue Jun 29 13:04:31 1999 Riochet:WEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Andre:What the hell...AMY!!!! CORN!!! STOP SCREWING AND GET OVER HERE!!!! All:GASP! Corn:GI GI GA!! Amy:Prick you!! Voice:Hey every one! Look at me!! All but Riochet:HUH?! Riochet:Hey, Marshall! (Marshall Riochets' cousin (yer) comes out and does some kinda tap dance, then, takes out a shotgun and hits Zac in the head) DZ (Zac):AHHHHHHHH!! Zac clones...get...them... (The original Zac dies, but then millions of Zacs come out) Super Andre:HAHAHAHA!!! (Now a whole bunch of Hougan clones come out) Origanal Hougan:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HEROIN HOUGAN!!!! (Hougan turns into a heroin crazed maniac, Heroin Hougan or HH) HH:Die, goods! Riochet: DOOMSDAY RIOCHET,COME OUT AND FIGHT!! (Riochet turns into Doomsday Riochet, or DR) DR:DIE!!!! HH:NO! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ddddddddddddddooooooooooonnnnnnnn'tttttttttttttttt hhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ttttttttttttttoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! DR:AURGH! Doomsday Laser! (A laser beam comes at HH and hits him) Rio:MEGA RIO!! (Rio turns into Mega Rio, or MR) Zacdroid:Must...kill... Zacatha:Shuppup!! (All of a sudden a raptor comes out and rips some Zac clones apart) Good Zac (GZ):Jolly,jolly good! Get those baddies! MR:DIE ANDDRE!! Super Andre:NO!!!!! HH:Heroin bombs!! MR:AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DR:AURGH!!! Rio! Put our powers together!! MR:Right! DR and MR:MEGA DOOMSDAY RIOCHET,COME OUT AND FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (DR and MR join forces to make Mega Doomsday Riochet, or MDR) MDR:We are invincable!!! Zacandre:Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! Super Andre:Sorry to eat your brains for breakfast, but I'm Andre! Soneec:DIE SaMaNtHa! SaMaNtHa:Id doont tink soo!!! (Trans:I don't think so!!!) Will our heroes survive this ordeal? Will the Zac clones die? Did't Andre already die? All this and more on: PAFF PART 27!!! TO BE CONTINUED................ Dezmond Castner PAFF PART 27 Tue Jun 29 14:12:26 1999 DC:WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK IS GOING ON HERE(turns into super duper mecha androids hyper ass whoop pschyo blast master!) SDMAHAWPBM:AHHH SUCK MY DICK ALL OF YOU!! (SDMAHAWPBM then drops 1,000,000 nukes on everyone,making them all come back to thier senses and they are all rusheed to the hosipital...) TO BE CONTINUED (This story is startin to suck a little isn't it? :-) ) David...The Lurker! PAFF: Andre's Revenge part 28: back to basics Fri Jul 2 1999 This is my attempt at a compromise. It may also confuse some of you, but I hope that is just a small price that will be paied for compromise. Last time on the PAFF(look at attached file) Now be prepared for PAFF: Andre's Revenge part 28: back to basics (We are in a secret laboratory. AJ is cackiling.) AJ: HAHEHOHEHA! I have been able to create........................................... Andre: What? AJ: Shut up! Don't disturb my dramantic pause! Now, where was I, oh yes.............................................................................................................................................................................................(several million dots later)..................a POCKET UNIVERSE!!!!! Andre: So? AJ:(Hits Andre)Idiot! With this technology, we can fool the foolish members of SP! Andre: But haven't you already been doing that? AJ: Ah, yes, but they were only test subjects... (Zac is laying down in a bubble. A screen in above his head. PAFF parts 13-16 are playing.) Andre: What about the rest? AJ: You mean Dezmond? (PAFF parts 17-27 play.) Andre: Yes, but what about the rest of the SP gang? AJ: Of corse, they were needed to feul the original bubbles, but that is all over now! Now, I can create bubbles without them! Andre: Why don't you just get out Zac and Dezmond? AJ: Because I hate them! But, their is something that nobody should know about... (We then see the long dead Miss Zocy.) Andre: So what? AJ: I have been able to bring her back to life! Zocy: Hi. Andre: Can I have sex with her? AJ: NO!! For inside her is.................................................................................................. Andre: Oh no, not again... (Meanwhile, at SPHQ, everyone is going insane.) All: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! (This is because they just exsperianced all parts of the PAFF simoultaniously.) H.Mac: That was crazy! Shorty: It made no scence! SonKnuck: Were talking about dollers and cents? No, it was too frightning...where could I have gotten a dimond statue? Shorty: But I just got the scariest thought... H.Mac: What? Shorty: That Zocy is not dead... AJ:.......................................................................................................................................................................................(several billion dots later)...............................................SHORTY'S CHILD!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!! Andre: What? AJ: When Shorty had sex with Zocy, he also impregnated her! I have been able to duplicate the Samantanian way of gestation, so now we only have to wait a few hours before Shorty's child is ours.... Shorty: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Riochet: What? Shorty: What if Zocy is pregnet with my child? Riochet: Impossible, I think... Will Shorty find out about his unborn child? Will the "dream" device be used again(by that I mean that anyone can use the three universes, the O universe[this one], the Z universe[Zac's parts of the PAFF], or the N universe[all parts of the PAFF after Zacs parts but not including this part.])? Am I the only person who wrote the PAFF not used themselves in one single part(being this one)? Does anyone really care about his anyway? Find out in the next part of the PAFF: Andre's Revenge! Now anyone can do the next part of the PAFF on any universe! Now's how that for compromise?(please state which univers you're using) Riochet PAFF 29 (Universe O) Wild Child Sat Jul 3 00:46:58 1999 Last time on PAFF, AJ finds out when Shorty did Miss Zocy, he secretly had a baby with her, but it hasn't been born yet. Then, Shorty gets some kinda pyscic reading about this unborn child. Plus, AJ also brings Miss Zocy back to life. And now................ Hougan:HHHHHHHHHHHHHHooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ccccccccccccccccccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppp!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss gggggggggggggggggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggg bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Trans:Holy crap!!!!! She's giving birth!!!!!!!!!!) Cornelius:Lets' watch Macnelius:Breath in, breath out.... (At our heroes) Shorty:NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soneec:What? Shorty:MY CHILD!! IT'S BORN!! Riochet:You're still going crazy about that? (At the SSUB/BGUB) Miss Zocy:AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (At our heroes) Shorty:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SecMan:STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!! (At enemies) Miss Zocy:AHHHHHHHHHHHH...ooh. Cornelius:IT'S OUT!!! MissZ (Miss Zocy):I'll name him: (Loud honking noise, so no one but our enemies can hear) All but MissZ:*GASP!* (At our heroes) Shorty:IT'S OUT!!!!!! IT'S BORN!!!! David TL:Uhoh. This is not going to be pretty. mechatails:Are we having beef for dinner? All but mechatails:SHUTUP!!!! mechatails:OKAY!!! Sorry! Jeez. If I ran Sonic Pandemonium.... (mechatails starts rambling on about what would happen if he ran SP) H.Mac:Okay...EDDIE IS STUPID!!!!!! (All is silent, even mechatails) H.Mac:What?WHAT?! (mechatails starts talking again) Shorty:This is terrible! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (Starts screaming in horror) Narrarotor:What is Shortys' child named? Who am I? Who will continue the next part? All this and ALOT more on PAFF Uneverse O, Part30!!! DZ PAFF: Andre's Revenge Part Thirty Sun Jul 4 15:01:47 1999 Part Thirty: UniverZe Samanthadel, Universe Z... DZ: Bwahahaha! HM: Grr... take THAT, Doctor Zachary! DZ: (being hit over the head with an anvil) Bwahaha-agh! ZG: You idiot! What on earth did you do _that_ for? HM: I hate evil people like you, him and Andre' Dirk! AD: Hey, hey... Overenthusiastic Zac: Hey, hey, nonny, nonny!!! DZ: Shut up. AD: Waaaaah! HM: I'm going to hurt you BAD. ZG: Not when I've got you with my... (reaches for his bag) PiE BoMb!!! HM: NOOOOO!!! I hate bombs! I mean, I hate PIES!!! AAARGGH!!! GZ: It's a jolly good pie, what what? Pip pip! Filled with delicious wholesome apple... HM: No! Not apple! They're the worst! The Goblin Zac grabs Hypey and takes him to the factory. HM: Nooo! A PIE pactory! ZG: Yes! And look at who are making the pies! HM: No! Not... KNUCKLE AND KUCKLES??? ZG: Yes! And now, it's time I took you over to ECHIDNA LAND! HAHAHAHAHAHA! The throne room of Samanthadel: DZ: Bah! you were PATHETIC out there today, Andre'! AD: I am sorry master... AJ: We are thinking of replacing you! AD: Oh, no! With whom? DZ: it's a horror worse than all horrors... Sleet and Dingo enter. S: I hope this means a promotion for me, oh most diabolical master. D: Oy! I'm the one who works hardest around here! S: (Transforming Dingo into a jar of mustard) Yes, but I'm the one who has to press the button! D: Ugh! I really hate mustard! DZ: Shut up and leave, both of you! I am promoting somebody from the second lowest division of the citadel... (Enter Corn and Potato Man) DZ: The catering managers! Cornelius: I love corn! PM: I luv potatos! AD: But what about me? DZ: You will go into the worst department of all... AD: NO! Not... DZ: Yes! AD: Not... (gulp) SAFETY supervisor? DZ: YES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SPHQ: Soneec: I've finally discovered the loophole, gang! Gang: What? Tom: Uh, it's been so long that we've forgotton what on earth is going on. Soneec: Really? Oh, well... never mind... Safety room at Samanthadel... AD: Blast! I don't want this job! I'm not even qualified! DC: But you're a losr, right? Then you're dangerously OVER-qualified! HAHAHAHA! AD: That wasn't funny, Dez. DC: Sorry. Hey, look-- I can check my e-mail from here. AD: Wha-- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DC: AAARGH! YOU'VE MAILBOMBED ME!!! AD: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DC: I'm not your FRIEND any more! Now I am going to SPHQ to wage war on this evil fortress! SPHQ: DC: Andre' is evil! Gang: We know; who cares; get lost... DC: Damn. ???: SecMan: Woah, where the heck am I? Army officer: More to the point... WHO are you? SecMan: My name is Stewart... but where am I? This looks like cyber-junk! AO: That's because it's cyber-space! SM: But it's chaos! AO: Do you know any way in which we can put it right? I'm sure that you don't. SM: Then where am I? AO: This is the internet. SM: What day is it? AO: The year is 1979. SM: Argh! HOW could I have gone back in time to the early internet? AO: Huh? SM: Wait a minute... this is just some site that hasn't been updated since 1979! AO: Really? I hadn't noticed! I guess you're right! SM leaves the '79 site and moves on to Sonic Pandemonium. AS: Why does Mechatails say that I'm gay? Was I gay before I died? Soneec: No; just take no notice of him... AS: Wait... I feel my memory returning! Yes... I WASN'T gay! Soneec: Wait... you must be losing your memory of being Ace! SK: Phew! What am I doing here? Why isn't Andre' killing me any more? Soneec: We cloned you! Your spirit must have entered this clone! SK: So my mind and soul are real; but my body isn't? Soneec: I guess so. Samanthadel torture Chamber: MT: No! Let me go! DZ: Bwahahaha! Your days of war against me are OVER! MT: NOOO! DZ: Now you must face... YOUR ANGRY PARENTS! MT: No! When they realise I've been online this long-- they'll KILL me! DZ: That's the intention! Bwahahahahahahahahayarharharahgandrezmondoctorzacynthia!!! Next: "Duly" (spoof on "Dune")! TO BE CONTINUED!!! mecha tails paff part part 31 (all universes) univrsial chaos Sun Jul 4 16:44:19 1999 in the N universe, in a hospital. mecha tails: ohhh, my head. what happend? sonknuck: dezmond turned into a super powerd version of himself and sent us all to the hospital. soneec: OW! he must of gotten us by mistake. (dezmond walks in) dezmond: i am really sorry about that, i hope you accept the apoligy. (dezmond walks out of the room) H. Mac: OW! damn this, it sucks not being able to do anything. secman: ditto. mike shaffer: me too. (in the O universe) AJ: hmm, look at the fools here (show andre him the N universe) andre: lets attack them while there weak and helpless. AJ: YEA! but how? andre: good point. IN THE Z UNIVERSE DZ: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! meet you angry parents! mecha tails: i dont think so ugly! (mecha tails breaks loose and kicks DZ, sending him back to the throne room, knocked unconcious) mecha tails: now to find the others! (where the pie factory H. Mac is working at) H. Mac: when i get my hand on that goblin, i'll kill him! (all of a sudden, a mysterious figure comes out and knocks out the guard) H. Mac: huh? (the same person knock out knuckle and kuckels) ????????: come, you need to escape! (at SP HQ) SK: this is weird soneec: where are mecha tails, secman and H. Mac? SK: i dunno (all of a sudden they see the giant space ship, the samanathadel) SK: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? soneec: i dont know, lets check it out! (soneec and SK hop in a plane, heading twords the huge ship) back in the O universe andre: what does this button do? AJ: DONT TOUCH THAT! (andre pushes the button, and sirens go off) AJ: YOU IDIOT! NOT OUR DEMENTION, AND THE OTHER 2 UNIVERSES WILL MERGE WITH EACH OTHER! andre: aww shit! TO BE CONTINUED! will all three universes merge togher to form one? will andre stop being stupid? find out in the next part of the paff! SonKnuck PAFF part 45 (JOKE!) Sun Jul 4 14:28:03 1999 The End! Riochet PAFF Uneverse O: Am I Evil? Sat Jul 10 02:14:26 1999 SonKnuck:I gotta get away! Shorty:I know the name!! Riochet:What...is...it...? Sara:Johnny? Riochet:Yes, sweety? Sara:Come in here please Riochet:Okaaaaaay... (Riochet goes into room with Sara. Suddenly...) Riochet:OH MY GOD!!!! Shorty:Uh,like I was saying, its' name is: Shorty Jr! Rio:That doesn't sound bad at all. H.Mac:They'll make Shorty Jr. evil though... mechatails:Well, duh! H.Mac:HEY BRING IT ON!!!!!!!! mechatails:FINE!!!! (H.Mac and mechatails start fighting) :::We go to our enemies::: AJ:WHAT?! That's the best you can thinkof? MZ (Miss Zocy):SHUTUP!!! Andre:He does have a point. Then he knows who his dad is, and he'll hesitate to kill him when he has a chance!! DZ:Not necssecerely.With my new device, I can turn a child evil, without teaching, or knowning Shorty is his dad! Corn: (Sarcasticly) Oh whoop-de-doo. DZ:OH I'D LIKE YOU TO CREAT SOMETHING!!!! IT'S HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corn:BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DZ:OKAY, I WILL!!!!!!1 (Corn and DZ fight) DZ:BE MY FOOD!!! PotatoMan:Ohkee-dohkee!! All but Potato:SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PotatoMan:Ohkee-dohkee!! :::Back to SonKnuck::: SonKnuck:What's happening to me? (SonKnuck splits in three, Good SonKnuck (GSK) SonKnuck, and Evil SonKnuck (ESK)) ESK:Go with Andre! You know he'll win in the long run!! SonKnuck:Oh I don't know...(Turns head to GSK) GSK:DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!! He just wants to hurt you-possibly KILL YOU!! ESK:Aw, shaddap. Come on! GSK:Stay with your friends! SonKnuck:This is confusing. Narrator:Will SonKnuck follow ESK and become evil, or will he stay with TSPG? What happened to Riochet? Will DZs' plan work? Will Corn go and make his own machine? All this and more on the next part of PAFF, Uneverse O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO BE CONTINUED..... Sailknux PAFF: Universe O: One Side or Another... Sat Jul 10 19:15:47 1999 SonKnuck: Hmm... I think I'll be... good! ESK: Hmm... (ESK dresses up as GSK.) ESK: I knew it... come... you must prove yourself worthy... at Sammy Land! SonKnuck: Whatever it takes... Sailknux: SonKnuck, NO!!! It's a TRAP!!! SonKnuck: Sailknux? ESK: Corn, BAG 'IM!!! (Corn does so.) Samantha: Won, Xunklias, er'uoy enim! (T: Now, Sailknux, you're mine! (In a split second, Sailknux confronts Nack the Weasel, and gets all 7 emeralds.) Sailknux: ULTRA SAILKNUX! Now let's see what you think of my Tail Bomb Attack! (US Tail Bombs Samantha Team, and flies to SPHQ.) US:...And then, they changed his brain waves so he was evil! Riochet: Well, there's 1 more thing to do... US: What? Rio: Declare TOTAL WAR ON HOUGAN... I mean... SAMANTHA TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO BE CONTINUED! Comments please. Sailknux