FIC RECAP!: The Shorty & Rio Story, parts I to VIII Posted by Munkee on July 31, 2000 at 19:53:30 In Reply to: RO/\D TR|P ! ! ! -- Fanfic Prologue posted by Munkee on July 31, 2000 at 13:16:23 --Prologue-- “Hi!” Munkee exclaimed. “I’m setting up something new here. From now on I will have an intro thingy that will most likely be the recap. Similar to my last fic. However this time after the first part, the first one that posts and complains about not being in the fic gets to be the character that is forc… er… has the pleasure of doing it. Also, you can only do it once per story. “The rest of the story will be in normal TPCG lazy-ass writing. “Oh, and this story is in a film noir format. In other words, it’s like those 40s detective movies. So that means you get some monologue from some characters! Plus there’s gonna be guns! YAY!” ********** --The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story-- --Episode 01-- (Shorty leans back in his chair. He pulls his hat farther over his forehead.) (NOTE: Words in {’s are monologues!) {{{Shorty: It was a normal day. I had my sidekick, Riochet, bring me something to drink. I hoped he’d get back soon because I’m thirsty. That’s when my client came in…}}} (Ami comes rushing in.) Ami: Shorty! I… what’s with the hat? {{{Shorty: She was quick to change the subject, I had little time to react. I thi--}}} Ami: Hello!? Earth to Shorty! (Ami waves her hand in front of Shorty’s face.) Shorty: What? Can’t you see I’m trying to do a monologue here? {{{Shorty: She was beginning to--}}} Ami: Shorty! Stop it! I’m trying to tell you something. Shorty: What is it? Ami: The chaoi are missing. The garden’s empty! Shorty: What? (Riochet comes in.) Riochet: This bottles cold. (starts grumbling.) Shorty: Hey! What did I tell you? The monologue… Riochet: Oh yeah! {{{Riochet: The bottle was really cold. I didn’t like it. It made my fingers numb.}}} {{{Ami: They were both idiots.}}} Shorty: HEY! Only me and Riochet can do the monologue. Ami: Why can’t I!? Shorty: ‘Cuz you’re not a detective! (Sticks out tongue.) Ami: Nevermind, maybe someone else wants the reward money for the chaoi. Shorty: Wait! Hold on! We’ll do it. {{{Shorty: Normally I wouldn’t resort to charging for it but I really needed a new pair of sunglasses and well…}}} Ami: Great! Find the chaoi and you get your money. Riochet: What’s going on? I don’t get it. {{{Shorty: Riochet wasn’t the brightest hedgehog on the face of the planet.}}} {{{Riochet: I’m not the brightest hedgehog on the face of the planet. Man, that drink was cold. I wished that Shorty would just take it.}}} {{{Shorty: I didn’t take the drink because I wanted to see how long Riochet would hold it.}}} (Ami begins to leave.) Shorty: Wait! I’m curious on why you didn’t go find them yourself! Ami: Sorry, I rented a bunch of video games and they’re due back tomorrow. I want to get all the use out of them I can. Riochet: What about the rest of TPCG? Ami: Seth paid for half of the games, Sonique’s busy on Perfect Chaos, and no one else seems to care or are too lazy. Now get going! (Ami shakes her head as she leaves.) {{{Shorty: Now this was an interesting case. I faced one problem: where should I begin? Maybe the Chao garden…}}} {{{Riochet: I really hate it when you start to laugh while drinking and the drink goes shooting out your nose.}}} ************* --TPCG Training center-- --1845 hours-- Munkee: Try it again Edge. (Munkee is trying his best to help Edge fly.) Edge: This feels weird, I’m not used to having wings. (Edge starts flapping his wings and floats about a foot off the ground. Ami walks in.) Ami: Those two are starting to worry me… SonKnuck: Who? (SonKnuck looked up from where he was studying his SK emeralds.) Ami: Shorty and Riochet. Shorty’s acting like his some kind of a detective. And Riochet is well… okay, he’s always been weird. Munkee: Shorty’s probually just bored. He’s looking for something to do. Edge: Have you found the chaoi yet? Ami: No, Shorty’s going off to do that. He took Riochet with him. SonKnuck: I hope they find them. ************* --TPCG private Chao Garden-- --1904 hours-- (Shorty and Riochet are looking around the Chao Garden.) {{{Shorty: The Chao Garden stunk with bad intentions. It was completely desolate. I began to search for clues.}}} {{{Riochet: *Starts humming “Mary had a Little Lamb”*}}} (Shorty begins to search the area.) Shorty: Let’s see here… tree, spilled chaonuts, a note, a pencil, sunglasses, a hole in the wall with a bunch of footprints leading out of it, a drawing of Amy… HOLD ON! … There’s my sunglasses! (Shorty picks up the sunglasses and put them on.) {{{Shorty: Suddenly it became dark. I wondered if it was the scheme of the kidnapper.}}} Riochet: Hey! Where’d you get the sunglasses? Shorty: I found them on the ground. Like them? Riochet: Yeah, but it’s seven o’ clock. The sun’s not out. Shorty: Oh yeah. (Shorty takes off the glasses.) {{{Shorty: The light suddenly returned. If this was part of the scheme then it was very odd.}}} Riochet: Hey! (Riochet points to the hole in the wall.) Where’d that come from? Shorty: A hole in the wall… this is a wild guess but I think the chao were brought through there. Riochet: Wanna follow the trail? Shorty: That sounds like a good idea… get TPCG Mobile. {{{Shorty: Normally I wouldn’t allow Riochet to drive, but we needed to follow it, and get there fast.}}} {{{Riochet: YAY!!! I get to drive!!!}}} (Shorty and Riochet run in the direction of the garage.) To Be Continued… COMMENT NOW!!!! --Prologue-- “Hello again,” Munkee smiled. “Since no one complained last time I’ll do the recap on my own. “Last time, Shorty and Riochet appear to be very bored and take on the role of those detectives from 40s movies. Ami asks them to go find the Chaoi who turned out missing. Shorty and Riochet investigate the Chao Garden and find a trail. They are currently in TPCG Mobile following the trail.” Munkee turns on the projector. “Share and Enjoy!” *********** --TPCG Mobile, Route 543, towards Station Square-- --23:54 hours-- (NOTE: {}’s indicate inner dialogue) {{{Shorty: On the long drive following the trail I found myself wondering why anyone would want to steal the chao. The trail indicated they were being carried in a truck of some sort. I was also wondering why it was so amazingly dark.}}} {{{Riochet: It’s ‘cuz you’re wearing the sunglasses again.}}} Shorty: Oh… (takes off sunglasses) thanks. Riochet: No problem. (TPCG Mobile jumps.) Riochet: Stupid cows! Get off the road!!! Shorty: Riochet, they’re not on the road, you’re driving in a cow pasture. Riochet: Oh, oops (TPCG Mobile gets back onto the road. Suddenly it sputters out and Riochet pulls it over to the side.) Shorty: What now? Riochet: Nothing… I just thought we’d pull over and take a look at the scenery. Shorty: We’re out of gas aren’t we? Riochet: Maybe… Shorty: Maybe!? Riochet: Yeah… (Avoids looking at Shorty.) Shorty: So now we’re stuck in the middle of the road, still about a hundred miles from Station Square! {{{Shorty: There I was, stuck in the middle of the road… with Riochet.}}} {{{Riochet: I have something stuck in my ear…}}} *********** --TPCG HQ-- --2407 hours-- (Seth and Ami are playing games.) Seth: You don’t really have any reward money do you? Ami: Nope. Seth: That’s kinda mean. Ami: I know, but do you think Shorty would do it otherwise. Seth: No. (Ami beats Seth in the game.) Ami: I win! (And now back to Shorty and Riochet…) *********** --Route 543-- --0132 hours-- {{{Shorty: Well, there I was. In the middle of the road trying to hitch a ride with who ever came by and would actually give us one. Meanwhile, Riochet was trying his own method of getting us out of here.}}} {{{Riochet: Okay, here’s my plan. Cars run by igniting gasoline. I figure the car will run if I put some other highly flamable thing into the tank. So if I just fart into the tank long enough…}}} (Shorty sighs and tries to keep from looking in Riochet’s direction. Suddenly a semi-truck pulls over. Shorty runs up to the semi.) Shorty: Hey could we get a ride to Station Square…? Guy driving the semi (GDS): Sure, I’m taking this shipment of food down there right now. Shorty: Thanks, could you hold on a second… (Shorty turns around.) Shorty: RIOCHET! I got a ride! Riochet: ALL RIGHT! GDS: Oh, he’ll have to ride in back. I only have room for one in the front. (Riochet and Shorty get in the semi. Riochet crawls into the back, Shorty climbs into the front. The semi starts driving.) GDS: So what’s yer name anyway? Shorty: …uh… Shorty. {{{Shorty: He said “yer” why does that sound painfully familiar?}}} GDS: Well, my name’s Bob. Shorty: Bob…? Bob: Bob Prower. {{{Shorty: Now, I knew hell. I was stuck in the same car as a Sonic_Fan creation. I suddenly wished I was in the back with Riochet.}}} Bob: Have you ever heard of when I saved Sonic from Robotnik…? {{{Shorty: This was going to be a LONG trip.}}} ************ --The Back of the Semi-- {{{Riochet: It’s smells like rotting fish back here. Oh wait… that’s me. Nevermind.}}} ************ --Station Square-- --0321 hours-- (Shorty begins to get out of the semi, which is parked in front of a hotel.) Bob: And then… Ken Penders was taking pot shots at Sally. But I got my… (Shorty slams the door while Bob was in mid-sentence.) {{{Shorty: I’m too tired for monologue right now…}}} (Both Shorty and Riochet walk into the hotel tiredly. They check into a room.) ************ --Station Square Hotel-- --1232 hours— (Shorty begins to wake up. He looks at the clock.) Shorty: Ugh… 12:32… (He sits up and looks around.) Shorty: Huh!? Where’s Riochet? (Shorty walks out of the room, down the stairs and outside. Riochet is standing next to the TPCG mobile.) Shorty: How’d you…? Riochet: I got some gas in a portable thingy and got a taxi to drive me to the car. I then refilled and drove it back here. Shorty: Where’d you get the money to call a taxi? Riochet: I used your credit card. Shorty: WHAT!? To Be Continued… COMMENTS PLEASE…! --Recap-- Munkee: Welcome yet again. Previously on this thing… all the Chaoi go missing and Shorty and Riochet go to find them. On the way to Station Square TPCG Mobile runs out of fuel. Shorty and Riochet hitch a ride to Station where Rio gets gas and goes back to TPCG Mobile and drives it to Station Square. ********** --The Shorty and Riochet Story-- --Part III-- {{{Shorty: If there’s anything that annoys me, it’s people that have no idea how to do anything. And Riochet using my credit card to pay a taxi to drive him a hundred and fifty miles definetly annoyed me. Riochet got a prompt punch in the nose.}}} {{{Riochet: I want chicken! I want liver! Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver!}}} **************** --Station Square Café-- --1305 hours-- Shorty: What’s taking our food so long? Riochet: I dunno… Shorty: (Sarcastically) That’s a surprise… {{{Shorty: The trail had gone dry at this café. So since it was about one o’ clock Riochet and I decided to get something to eat.}}} Riochet: I’m hungry… Shorty: Me too Riochet… me too… (A few minutes pass.) Shorty: That’s it! I’m gonna go check on the food…! Riochet: Okay, see ya soon. Shorty: …and you’re coming with me! Riochet: D’OH! *********** --Just outside the kitchen— Shorty: I want in! Where’s our food!? Guy by kitchen doors (GKD): I can’t let you in with out authorization. Shorty: Oh, I’ve got authorization… (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a book of matches. He swings it in front of the GKD very quickly.) See that? NOT a book of matches. GKD: Uh… sorry, I still can’t let you in. Shorty: Sigh… I wish it hadn’t come to this… Riochet! Get ‘em! *********** --Outside Station Square Café-- (Riochet and Shorty are thrown out the door.) Manager: And stay out! Just like those guys and those creatures or whatever they had… (Shorty looks at Riochet angrily.) Shorty: I KNOW you could have done better than gnaw on his foot… Riochet: What else could I have done!? Shorty: Tackle him! …Wait! Did that guy say some about creatures!? Manager: Yeah! I’m still here! Shorty: Oh…! Where’d they go? Manager: I think they went in the direction of the “Stolen Chao not this way” signs. Shorty: Thank you! Come on Rio! Riochet: Hold on… I’m busy eating this rock… (Shorty grabs Riochet and throws him into TPCG Mobile.) ************* --Outside TSP’s super secret station square shelter (The TSSSSS (pronounced tisssssssst))-- --1340 hours-- {{{Shorty: I should have known TSP was behind this. Whatever happens it’s always him…}}} {{{Riochet: I actually stopped in the parking lot! Next time I’ll try to get in an actual parking spot.}}} (Both Shorty and Riochet hop out of TPCG Mobile. They look up at a sign that says “TSP’s Super Secret Station Square Shelter, TPCG’s chao are not here”.) Riochet: Oh… they’re not here. Must be the wrong place… Shorty: (Places his head in his hands.) Rio… it’s just a diversion. Come on… (They walk up to the door.) TSP’sGuard: You can’t come in here. Shorty: (Quietly to Riochet) I gotta idea… ************* --Inside TSSSSS-- (The doors fly open.) Shorty: We demand to be let in! Riochet: YES! We demand to be let in! (An unnamable extra approaches the two.) Unnamable extra: Who are you? Shorty: I’m Shorty! Riochet: And I demand that I am Riochet! Shorty: … it’s okay, you don’t have to demand that… Riochet: oh… right. I am Riochet, and that is not a demand it is a solid fact! Shorty: Sigh… is it me? Look… we need our chao! So give them back! Riochet: YES! We demand for you to give us our chao! Shorty: Stop it with the demands! TSP: You want your chao huh? (Shorty and Riochet turn around to see TSP walking in.) TSP: I’m sorry, but we can’t go along with that. (The security system activates and Shorty and Riochet are surrounded by guards.) Riochet: So this where your plan comes into effect right? Shorty: Uh… that WAS my plan… ************** --TSSSSS prison cell 5R-- Riochet: [Sarcasm] Great plan…! Let’s barge in and demand to have our chao back! [/sarcasm] Sounds like something I would think of… Shorty: Would you shut up? I’m trying to think of an escape plan! To Be Continued… (Will Shorty come up with a plan? Will Riochet make any more demands? What is the ultimate question to the ultimate answer of life the universe and everything? Will anyone figure out where “Share and Enjoy” came from so I could write a solo fic about them? What’s the square root of 25? All this and much much less in the next mostly uneventful addition of “The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story”.) COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Recap-- TloB: Hi! I’ll be your recaper for today. Previously on this poor excuse for a fan fic: Shorty and Riochet go out looking for the chao who turned up missing. They make it to Station Square where they get some information on the chao location. Then they go to TSP’s Super Secret Station Square Shelter (TSSSSS). They were then caught and thrown in prison. Have fun. (TloB starts up the projector.) *********** --The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story-- --Part IV-- --TSSSSS Prison. Cell 5R-- {{{Shorty: This sucks so much I can’t think of a good monologue.}}} {{{Riochet: Zzzzzz}}} (Riochet is asleep; Shorty is busy thinking of an escape plan. TSP and some guards come in.) Shorty: TSP! TSP: Shorty, we have plans for you… {{{TSP: We had plans for him…}}} Shorty: You can’t do the monologue! TSP: Why not? Shorty: Cuz’ your evil! Only the good guys can do the monologue! TSP: What are you going to do about it? {{{TSP: He couldn’t do any--}}} (Shorty pops TSP’s monologue bubble.) TSP: HEY! That’s it! Get him! (The guards grab Shorty by the arms and drag him out of the cell.) ********** --TSP’s Office-- --1604 hours-- {{{Shorty: This sucked, I was there helpless and latched to a chair.}}} TSP: Now then you will tell us how your chao get their power. Shorty: What are you talking about? TSP: You know what I’m talking about! Chao have strengths! Swimming, Flying, etc… How do they do it? Shorty: Oh! You feed them animals! TSP: …that’s it? Shorty: Did you expect it to be complicated? TSP: You’re not going to ask me why…? Or hold out on the secret? Shorty: No, it’s not exactly a secret… I don’t really care why you want to know. TSP: Well, I’ll tell you anyway! Because every bad guy has to have a scene where they explain their plan! I am developing a weapon that runs on chao powers. When it is complete it will destroy any game system or game in a hundred-mile radius! HAHA! I’m so evil… (Shorty raises an eyebrow at TSP.) Shorty: That is the stupidest thing I have heard in a long time. TSP: That’s it! (TSP hits a button on his desk that says “Trap Door under chair”) Shorty: AH!!!! *thump* (Shorty’s chair only falls about three inches.) Shorty: That’s it? TSP: Well you try to dig a bigger hole! Shorty: I want to see the chao. TSP: Fine… GUARDS! Let’s take him to the garden. ********** --TSSSSS Science center-- --1624 hours— {{{Riochet: Lexef and Jolt said they wanted to show me something. I wonder what they’re up to…}}} (Lexef and Jolt throw Riochet into a platform-type area. They lock him in.) Lexef: HAHA! Now that we’ve got you here we can test out our new invention! Jolt: YES! This machine will use your worst fears against you so that you crack and tell us everything! Riochet: Tell you what? Lexef: Quiet fool! Start the machine! Jolt: Yes sir! (The machine starts making noises. Lights surround Riochet.) Lexef: YES! Now we will see you greatest fears! …Yeah… any minute now… (Time passes… nothing happens) Lexef: Okay… stop the machine! (Lexef and Jolt walk over and start talking to each other.) Lexef: What’s going on! Jolt: Well… in full actuality, he doesn’t explore his own consciousness, so he has no unknown fears to confront. His memories are limited, so he has no fears from his past. The things he seems to “fear” stem from simpler things we would never even regard. Riochet: Hey! Are you saying I’m too stupid to be afraid? Jolt: Yeah, that’s about the gist of it. Lexef: Fine, we’ll have to go with torture B… Jolt: Yes sir (Jolt pushes a lever. Water starts to drip from the ceiling.) Lexef: HA! With this water torture you’ll be driven crazy! (Time passes.) Jolt: All right! I confess! I stole your teddy bear! Lexef: No not you, you id—You stole Mr.BoBo!? (The intercom starts up. TSP’s voice comes over it.) TSP: Hey! Lexef! Jolt! Get Riochet and bring him to the Garden. NOW! Lexef & Jolt: Yes sir! ************* --TSSSSS Chao Garden— --1700 hours-- (Riochet, Lexef and Jolt walk in. Immediately the two idiots besides Riochet are knocked out. Shorty drops down from a beam just over the doorway.) Riochet: Shorty! What’s going on? (Shorty drops the large stick he used to knock out Lexef and Jolt.) Shorty: TSP brought me here and I knocked out the guards. I tied up TSP and had him call you here. Riochet: All right, so where’s the chao? Shorty: That’s what I’m trying to figure out. (They both walk over to TSP.) Shorty: All right… where’s the chao!? TSP: Right over there. (TSP points towards a group of trees. Shorty and Riochet walk over there. Shorty looks back at TSP.) Shorty: You dumbass, these are just watermelons on sticks! TSP: … no wonder they didn’t eat the chaonuts… (Both Shorty and Riochet sigh before walking out.) ************* --Outside TSSSSS-- --1723 hours-- (Shorty and Riochet walk out and get into TPCG Mobile.) Riochet: So what happened? Shorty: Apparently someone else took the chao and left a diversion, the watermelons on a stick. TSP then came by and stole the diversions. Riochet: So what now? Shorty: We need to head back to TPCG Chao Garden and search the area again. (TPCG Mobile takes off. About twenty miles down the highway it sputters out.) Shorty: We’re outta gas again aren’t we? To Be Continued… COMMENT PLE~ASE!!! --Recap-- Munkee: Hello all! Welcome to another part of The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story. The story took a brief break as my parents became jackasses and grounded me for getting a detention. Isn’t the detention enough punishment? Anyway, so far… The Chao all go missing. (Oh no!!!) Ami hires Shorty and Riochet to go find them. (In other words, it’ll take a lo~ng time.) Shorty and Riochet follow a trail to Station Square and find TSP who claimed to have stolen the Chao. Unfortunately it was just a bunch of watermelons on sticks. Someone had already taken the chao and left a diversion. (Watermelons?) Total Credit Card Transaction: $700 out of $5000 (Who gives a shit?) “Share and Enjoy” contest still going. (Yet again, who cares? Just shut-up already.) I’ll shut up now. Share and Enjoy! *Starts the projector.* --The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story.-- --Chapter V-- --TPCG Mobile, on Route 543 to TPCG HQ-- (Shorty is looking out the window lazily. TPCG Mobile’s cruising at over 100 MPH.) {{{Shorty: Thankfully we’d gotten gas from a nearby station after we ran out… again!}}} {{{Riochet: It’s not my fault…}}} {{{Shorty: Hey! No inner dialogues for you this part! That’s what you get for being stupid…}}} Riochet: Oh come on…! Ple~ase… Shorty: No! Just drive. Riochet: Fine… (Shorty looks back out the window. Suddenly he notices a semi full of chao driving past.) {{{Shorty: That semi… it had a black chao… with wings… evil grin… where is that familiar…? …………………..KEFKA!!!!}}} Shorty: Turn around!!! Riochet: Wha..? (Shorty grabs the wheel and swings TPCG Mobile around.) Shorty: Follow that semi! Riochet: Okay… (TCPG Mobile peels out… in the wrong lane. Dodging a few cars Riochet gets into the right lane. They quickly gain on the semi.) Shorty: Get next to it! Riochet: What? Shorty: I’m gonna plant a tracker. Riochet: Where’d you get a tracker? Shorty: Stole it from SonKnuck before we left. Riochet: Oh… (TPCG comes up next to the Chao-filled semi. Shorty rolls down his window. He reaches out his arm and attaches it to the side of the semi.) Shorty: Okay, we can track it now. Drive normally. We don’t want them to know we’re following them. ******************** --Station Square… again…-- (TPCG pulls to the side of the road. Shorty and Riochet hop out.) Shorty: I don’t get it… the tracker says the semi should be right here… Riochet: Maybe it is but we don’t think it is and therefore it’s not. (Shorty raises an eyebrow and looks at Riochet.) Shorty: What? Riochet: Maybe if we think it’s here then it will be. How is anything real? Maybe… Shorty: Riochet… Riochet: Yes? Shorty: Shut the hell up. Riochet: Good idea. (Shorty began to go deep in thought. Suddenly he came up with an idea.) Shorty: It must be underground! Riochet! Riochet: Huh? (Shorty tossed his credit card to Rio.) Shorty: Go get us a jackhammer, two hard hats, two jumpsuits, some metal poles, some walkie-talkies, a lot of rope, some pulleys, and construction zone tape. Riochet: All right, a credit card! Shorty: DON’T get anything but those…! Riochet: Ah… dammit. --2 hours later-- (TPCG Mobile pulls up. Riochet hops out.) Riochet: I’m back! Shorty: Thank god, what took so long. Riochet: I had to pick up something to eat. Shorty: Hell yeah! I’m starving! Riochet: Good! I’m hope you’re in the mood for sushi… Shorty: Sushi…? You got sushi…? Raw fish…? I’m going to have to kill you… (Shorty begins to advance on Riochet.) Riochet: Calm down I was joking… I got McDonalds… Shorty: McDonalds!? That’s even worse! (Shorty leaps at Riochet.) Riochet: Ack! Stop! I was joking again… I got Sonic… Shorty: Sonic!? Riochet: Yeah, you know… the restaurant… we are at a Sonic-related forum. Where else would I go for food? Shorty: Good point. (Shorty and Riochet quickly eat and get into the jumpsuits. They set up a square of construction tape. They both put on hard hats. Shorty begins to jackhammer the street. In a couple of hours they have a large deep hole. Shorty tosses a walkie-talkie to Riochet.) Shorty: Okay Riot, I’m going to attach you to this rope and pulley. You’ll have to go though that hole and tell me what’s on the other side of the street. Riochet: Okay… but I have two questions. One, I can see the other side of the street from here. I can tell you what’s there if you want. It’s a library. (Shorty smacks himself on the forehead.) Shorty: I meant the other side downwards! Under the street! Riochet: Oh… and for my second question. Who’s Riot? Shorty: You are! Riochet: I am? I thought I was Riochet… Shorty: Riot’s a nickname! Riochet: It is? Shorty: Yes it is… Riochet: Are you sure? Shorty: Yes, now get down that hole before I kick you down there. Riochet: All righty then. (Riochet ties himself to the pulley and begins to go down the hole. He gets to the bottom. The walkie-talkie buzzes to life.) Shorty: Riochet, try to kick through the bottom of the hole. You should be able to break through. (Riochet starts kicking at the dirt and surprise, surprise, the bottom breaks through.) Shorty: Now stick your head through and tell me what you see. (Riochet sticks his head through the hole.) Riochet: (into walkie-talkie) There it is! The semi! It looks like there’s also an entrance that goes into the subway. Shorty: All right now… Voice barely audible over walkie-talkie (VBAWT): What do you think you’re doing? Shorty: Uh… well… VBAWT: You’re under arrest. Pull up your friend. (Riochet is suddenly pulled up.) Riochet: What the? T O B E C O N T I N U E D . . . Comments pleeze…! --Recap-- Lil Hedgie: Hi! Since I’m a proto-newbie I get to do the recap! YAY! Plus Munkee wanted to write me into a story… Munkee: Lil! Get on with it… Lil Hedgie: Oh… okay. So far, Shorty and Riochet are hired by Ami to search for the missing chao. They follow a trail to Station Square where they run into a dead-end at TSP’s Super Secret Station Square Shelter. On the way back to TPCG HQ they notice a semi full o’ Chao. Following it back they dig a big hole in the street and are arrested. Munkee: Nice job, Lil Lil: Thanx, Share and Enjoy! (Lil starts the projector.) Munkee: That’s my line! ****************** --The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story-- --Episode VI-- {{{Shorty: This was a disgrace. The cops didn’t seem to care that I was a detective and arrested me. Just cause I don’t have “official ID” doesn’t mean anything… Now we’re in a trial and they had to call Munkee all the way down here to be my lawyer. I’ve allowed him brief dialogue…}}} {{{Munkee: I like planes… they’re fun. They gave me a ride all the way down here. What fun…}}} {{{Shorty: Munkee, get to the point.}}} {{{Munkee: Okay, I actually have no training as a lawyer. Shorty just thought it’d be better for them if they have someone they know defending them. I won’t be taking a big role in this story though…}}} --Station Square Court-- Judge: Will Riochet please come to the stand? (Riochet stands up and sits on the witness stand. Some guy gives him the oath. The prosecutor stands up and walks to the stand.) Prosecutor: Is it true that you were digging a large hole in the middle of main street? Riochet: Didn’t you look at the prosecution papers? You should know… Prosecutor: Just answer the question… Riochet: I guess so… Prosecutor: Why did you do this? Riochet: I didn’t. Prosecutor: You just said you did. Riochet: No, Shorty dug the hole. Munkee: Objection your honor! (Munkee stands up.) Munkee: I’d like to have this witness removed on the sense that he’s really dense and we won’t get any real answers out of him. Judge: Objection sustained… Prosecutor: But… Judge: Sit down! (Munkee sticks his tongue out at the prosecutor. Riochet comes and sits down.) Shorty: Good call… Munkee: Thanks. Judge: Would Shorty please take the stand? (Shorty comes up to the stand. The oath guy approaches.) Oath Guy: Please remove your hat. (Shorty takes off his hat with his right hand.) Oath Guy: Place your right hand on the book. (Shorty looks at his right hand, which has a hat. He shrugs and puts the hat on his head. He puts his right hand on the book.) Oath Guy: … Please remove your hat. (Shorty takes of his hat with his right hand.) Oath Guy: Now put your right hand on the book… (Shorty puts his hat back on and puts his right hand on the book.) Oath Guy: sigh, take off your hat… (Shorty takes off his hat with his right hand, obviously confused. The oath guy grumbles and snatches the hat from Shorty. They finish with the oath. The prosecutor approaches Shorty.) Prosecutor: Please tell me why you took it upon yourself to dig a very big hole in the middle of main street. Shorty: Well, there’s so many holes in main street we didn’t think anyone would notice. Prosecutor: … I’m through… (The prosecutor, obviously already sick of this case, sits back down.) Judge: Defendant’s witness… (Munkee just has a blank stare at his glass of water. Riochet whispers to him.) Riochet: Psst, I think that means you can go talk to Shorty… Munkee: Huh? What? Oh! (Munkee stands up and approaches Shorty.) Munkee: So… uh… did they ask for any ID before you were arrested? Shorty: … no. Munkee: And you were using unlicensed equipment and fake construction tape right? Shorty: *looks around* Yeah… Munkee: uh… Shorty: (Quietly) We didn’t mean any harm Munkee: Yeah, you didn’t mean any harm you were just… Shorty: (Quietly) searching for stolen chao Munkee: …searching for missing chao and… Prosecutor: Objection! He’s leading the witness. Judge: Sustained… Do you have any more questions for the witness? Munkee: well… uh… Shorty: *Quietly* No, we’ve helped them enough. Munkee: No… (On his way back to his seat Munkee looks at the prosecutor.) Munkee: Come on, give me a break. We’re both lawyers… (After everyone sits down the Judge comes to his decision.) Judge: I have decided that Shorty and Riochet will be fined $3000 for damages. They will then be dismissed. ***************** --Outside of the court-- Shorty: There goes the last of my money… Riochet: What do we do now? Shorty: We have to check out that place where the semi went! Munkee: Isn’t that what you were just arrested for? Shorty: Hey! Do you see the title for this story? Munkee: Yeah… Shorty: Yeah! It says “The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story” do you see you’re name in there!? Munkee: Yeah… it does say “Written by Munkee…” Shorty: … Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can talk. So shut-up. Munkee: Okeley Dokeley. Shorty: Now… where were we… Riochet: I dunno… Munkee: *cough*check out semi*cough* Shorty: Oh yeah! The semi… we need to go check that out. Riochet: Isn’t that what we were just arrested for? Munkee: *starts coughing* Shorty: … That’s it! Munkee: What!? Shorty: Go to TPCG Mobile. Munkee: Fine… (Munkee grumbles as he walks over to TPCG Mobile.) Shorty: Okay… where were we again? Riochet: The arrested thing. Shorty: Oh right, you said there was an entrance through the subway. We’ll just go through there. Riochet: Good idea. **************** *I hear that chapter two of “The Restaurant at the end of the Universe” is nice.* --Subway System 4-- (TPCG Mobile pulls up to a parking lot across from the Subway. Riochet and Shorty jump out.) Munkee: Okay, I’ll stay here with my foot on the pedal, ready to take off when you come by. Shorty: Munkee, turn off the engine and take out the keys incase you fall asleep. (Both Shorty and Riochet run across the street to the subway. They run down the stairs that lead to the underground.) Shorty: Look out for an entrance. Riochet: Okay, I’ll be on my most aler-- ooh… something shiny… (Riochet starts staring at a piece of metal on the ground. Shorty looks around for the entrance. He suddenly finds a grate. He tries to pry it up with prevail.) Shorty: Rio! Come help me pry this thing up! Riochet: Hold on, I’m busy. This metal is very very shiny. Shorty: Come over here before I pull you by your tongue! Riochet: … right! (Both Shorty and Riochet pull on the grate. Eventually it flies off.) Shorty: Let’s go! (Shorty begins to climb down the hole. Riochet goes back to looking at the shiny metal. After a few seconds Shorty climbs out of the hole, grabs Rio by his tongue, and pulls him to the hole. There he promptly kicks Riot down it. Shorty then follows, however using the ladder.) T o B e C o n t i n u e d . . . --Recap-- Munkee: Sup’ all? Time once again for another part of The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story. Previously… Shorty and Riochet go out to find the chao who went missing. They came to a dead end at TSP’s base. Promptly finding a semi w/ the chao they follow it to Station Square. There they find an underground base and after a brief hiatus with the court system, they investigate… --The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story-- --Chapter 7- Answers-- ****************** Written by Munkee ****************** --Underground base-- (A pair of feet fall down next to Riochet. The brown hedgehog flips on his flashlight.) Shorty: Psst, get up Rio… Riochet: Rio’s not here… Just me, Riochet. Shorty: Don’t make me hurt you. {{{Shorty: The base was dark and damp. It stunk with bad intentions. I was beginning to wonder who was at the bottom of this…}}} (Shorty moved his flashlight around and found a door. After creeping over slowly he opens the door slightly and peers out.) Zac: How much are they paying again? AJ: Ten-thousand… Zac: Ten-Thousand!? That’s all!? Tell them the Chao are worth at least twenty thousand! AJ: Fine… but I don’t think he’ll be very keen… Zac: Whatever… just tell him. I’m going to be in my office. (Zac walks away; AJ goes to talk on the phone.) Shorty: Zac? And he’s selling the chao? Riochet: I gotta pee… Shorty: Shut up Riochet! (Shorty and Riochet slip through the door and sneak past AJ.) AJ: (on the phone) Look! … No, I don’t know what the hell’s up with him … right. He wants twenty thousand… I can’t… no; I can’t change his mind… (Shorty and Riochet quickly go inside the door marked “Chao Garden”) --Chao Garden-- (As the door closes the chao hop out.) Yerher: Riochet! All others: YAY!!! Riochet: Yerher! Shorty: What’s going on? Happy: Zac wants to sell us. Shorty: To who? Kefka: Some black market chao store. Moody: Yeah! They sell chao eggs to racers! Shorty: Okay, guys, we’ll get you out. Just let me think of something. Riochet: (Whiny) Shorty… Shorty: What? Riochet: I really gotta pee… Shorty: (Places his head in his hands.) Fine, go pee in one of those trees. Riochet: Okay! (Riochet runs into the trees. He comes back looking very pleased.) Riochet: Ah… (Shorty shakes his head and peers out the door. He sees AJ checking out the closet that Riochet and Shorty came through.) Shorty: Crap, we can’t go back the way we came. There! (Shorty points to a random door.) Shorty: Let’s go! (All the chao, Shorty, and Riochet quickly move toward the door. Suddenly Zac comes out another nearby door.) Zac: Hey! Shorty: Shit! Make a break for it! (The group dashes into the room.) --Experimental Vegetation room— (Shorty slams the door shut and leans against it. Pounding can be heard from Zac on the other end.) Riochet: What now? Kefka: Wait, I remember this room… I ran into it earlier before they caught me again. There’s all kinds of weird trees in here. Shorty: Weird trees? Kefka: Yeah… like… THAT ONE! (Kefka points to a tree in the middle of the room. It’s a normal apple tree. Except instead of apples, handguns grow in their place.) Riochet: A gun tree? --NOTE: It’s a little know fact that if you go far enough in the universe anything that can be made synthetically can be found naturally. And vice-versa. While the guns trees are more commonly found on Betelgeuse XIV there are exceptions.-- Shorty: Sweet! Reala! Pick some for me and Riochet. (Reala picks four handguns and hands two to both Riochet and Shorty) Shorty: Okay you guys, hide. --Main room of the underground base-- AJ: Are you sure you saw them? Zac: Yes, it was Shorty and Riochet, they were leading the chao. (Suddenly the door begins to open.) Zac: Looks like they’re going to surrender. (Guns shots begin to sound and bullets come from the doorway. Distantly, the sound of ricocheting bullets could be heard off the metal walls.) AJ: Hit the deck! (Both Zac and AJ duck. Shorty and Riochet come running out. Shorty motions to the chao who follow closely behind. They make it to a hole in the ceiling and climb out of the base. Once the group is gone Zac stands up slowly.) Zac: Damn! (He punches the wall.) Zac: Ow! AJ: (Shakes head) Dumbass. ************* --Station Square Movie Studios-- (A manhole lifts up and is thrown to the side. Shorty, Riochet, and the chao come out.) Riochet: Where are we? Shorty: Looks like a movie studio… we need to get Munkee to come over here. Riochet: I’ll call him. (Riochet pulls out a cell phone and dials a number.) --TPCG Mobile-- (Munkee’s asleep laying against the seat. The phone wakes him up.) Munkee: AH! Huh? Who? Where? (He notices the phone. He picks it up and turns it on.) Munkee: Joe’s boat rental. Riochet: …….. Oh, sorry must have the wrong number… Munkee: Riochet! Hold on! It’s Munkee… Riochet: Munkee? What are you doing at Joe’s boat rental. Munkee: I’m at Joe’s boat rental? Really? Riochet: That’s what the phone said earlier. Munkee: Strange, it looks like TPCG Mobile… Riochet: Hmm… maybe it’s just the décor of the boat rental. … Hey, how much does it cost to rent a boat? Munkee: I dunno… hold on… (Sounds of struggling could be heard over the phone. Shorty comes on.) Shorty: Munkee! Get your lazy ass and TPCG Mobile over here right now! Munkee: Okay hold on a second. I have to get to TPCG Mobile. Shorty: Where are you? Munkee: I think I’m at Joe’s boat rental. (Munkee opens the door and hops out. He looks around.) Munkee: Now where did I leave TPCG Mobile. (Sounds of Shorty hitting himself on the head with the phone could be heard over the speaker. Munkee turns around and sees TPCG Mobile right behind him (Also where he came from).) Munkee: There it is! (He climbs back into TPCG Mobile and turns on the engine.) **************** --Station Square Movie Studios-- (TPCG Mobile pulls up. Munkee hops out.) Shorty: Alright! Let’s go! Munkee: It’s not that easy, we need gas to get all the way home and you said you were out of money right? Shorty: Shit (Two TV producers (TVP) show up. They begin talking.) TVP1: Okay, so, we’re missing a thirty-minute spot? TVP2: Yeah, and we need something to fill in that time. Anything. TVP1: But what could we find in such short time…? (Riochet gets an idea. He runs up to the TVP.) Riochet: Did you say you need a thirty-minute time-space? TVP1: Yeah… Riochet: I got a show and it’ll only cost you five thousand. All I need is the Jeopardy set, some wood, and some spray paint. TVP2: We’ve got a deal! (Riochet grins as he walks up to rest of the group.) Riochet: All right! Shorty, Munkee, and Moody. We’re gonna be on TV. T O B E C O N T I N U E D . . . Next time: TPCG Jeopardy… The Perfect Chaos Gang Jeopardy, Episode 03 (The Shorty and Riochet Solo Story chapter VIII) ******************************************* Written by Munkee, the surprisingly-not-a-monkey ******************************************* **Recap** Matt: Hey all, Matt the yak here. Time for you to sit through another boring recap. Since it’s been a while I’ll give you a low down on each part. Part I- Shorty and Rio are hired to search for the missing chao. Part II- Shorty and Riot arrive at Station Square for the first time. Part III- While investigating they find TSSSSS (Tsp’s Super Secret Station Square Shelter), where they are taken prisoner. Part IV- After breaking out they discover that Tsp had actually stolen a diversion made by the actual thieves of the chao. Part V- On the way back to TPCG HQ Shorty notices a semi with their Chao! They are arrested for making a VERY big hole in Main Street. Part VI- With Munkee’s “help” Shorty and Riot get out of a trial. They investigate where the chao went. Part VII- Shorty and Riochet rescue the chao from Zac’s grips and escape to a movie studio. They promptly realize they don’t have enough money to get home and strike a deal with a studio producer. Munkee: Share and Enjoy! (Projector starts) Matt: Where’d you come from? Munkee: Your ass… Matt: Really? Munkee: …no. --TPCG Jeopardy set-- {{{Shorty: I hate this show. It’s so damn frustrating!!!}}} {{{Riochet: The buzzer hurts when it hits my eye.}}} {{{Munkee: Weeeee!}}} {{{Shorty: Hey! No inner dialogue for you! You’re not a detective!}}} Munkee: Aw…. (A guy on a bike suddenly rides by.) Guy on a bike: Read Chapter 2 of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe for the answer to the “Share and Enjoy” rid-- (The guy on a bike crashes into a set light.) Shorty: Where’d he come from? Riochet: *shrugs* Munkee: Your ass! Moody: Chaonuts! CameraMan: Back from commercial in five seconds. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1!!! (Camera: Shows Shorty.) Shorty: Welcome back, if you’re watching this than you obviously haven’t changed the channel. I guess we’ll reintroduce the contestants. (Camera: Shows contestants.) Shorty: We have Moody… Moody: Chaonuts! Shorty: …with negative 4,300 points since the only thing he says is chaonuts. Riochet… Riochet: Your mom! Shorty: *sigh* …with a grand total of negative 17,500 points. Riochet: Woohoo! In your face Moody! Moody: Chaonuts? Shorty: and Munkee… Munkee: Chaonuts! Moody: Chaonuts! Shorty: …in the lead with 0 points because he hasn’t figured out how to use his buzzer… (Camera: Shows Shorty again.) Shorty: Are you all ready? Riochet: Who said that? Moody: Chaonuts! Munkee: How’s this thing work? Shorty: Right, and the categories are… (Camera: Shows categories.) Shorty: Chao care in Sonic Adventure ……… Stump Riochet ……… What is Shorty’s name? ……… Letters between A & C ……… Nursery Rhymes And….. Yappa! Shorty: We’ll start with Moody. Moody: Chaonuts! Shorty: … like I said we’ll start with Riochet. Riochet: That’s not what you said. Shorty: Just pick a damn category! Riochet: Fine, I’ll take… letters between A & C. Shorty: Okay, and the question is… “What is the letter between A & C?” (Camera: Shows all contestants, no one does anything. Finally Moody responds.) Moody: *buzzes* Chaonuts! Shorty: No… Munkee: R? Shorty: No, and you have to buzz to answer. Munkee: I did answer. Shorty: But you have to buzz first! Riochet: *buzzes* 5!!! Shorty: The number 5? Riochet: Ah, ah, ah, the LETTER 5. Shorty: Haven’t we gone over this before? Just pick another category Riochet. (Camera: Shows categories) Riochet: Okay… I’ll take Nursery Rhymes for $4324.34 Shorty: … normally I’d say the categories only go up to 1000, but in anticipation of Riochet stupidity we made a category for over 1000. Riochet: Woohoo! Shorty: But you’ll never get it so I won’t even ask it. Moody: Chaonuts! (Camera: Shows Shorty again.) Shorty: We’ll just move on to… Stump Riochet. The goal of this game is as follows: I’ll show a question to Munkee, then he’ll bet on whether Riochet can answer it or not. (Shorty shows the card with the question on it to Munkee.) Munkee: Oh… I’ll bet 5 bucks that he can’t answer that one. Shorty: 5 bucks? That’s it? Fine… Here’s the question Rio, Rio: Who me? Shorty: Where do you guys come from? Riot: We follow Riochet around. Shorty: Whatever, just shut-up. I was talking to Riochet. Riochet, here’s the question: “What… were we just talking about?” (Riochet makes a motion to answer but stops.) Riochet: Uh… Moody: Chaonuts! Riochet: (buzzes) Chaonuts! Shorty: No, Moody: Chaonuts? (Camera: Shows Shorty) Shorty: We’ll move on now… Mood- er… Munkee, choose a category. Munkee: uh… Yappa? Shorty: Okay, and the question is… “Who says Yappa?” Moody: *buzzes* Chaonuts! Shorty: Shut up with the damn Chaonuts! Munkee: *buzzes* Woah! Did you hear that? Shorty: *sigh* …and you’re an idiot. Riochet: *buzzes* Chaonuts? Shorty: NO!!! The answer was Ami. I would have also taken TloB, Seth, and pretty much everyone else in TPCG. (Shorty pauses for a while) Shorty: *sigh* Since you’re all a bunch of idiots I’ll choose the next category for you. How about “Chao care in Sonic Adventure”? The question is… “What do you feed Chao to get +4 on all stats?” All: ….. Shorty: Moody, this is a good question for you… Moody: *buzzes* …Spain? Shorty: Spain? SPAIN!? NO!!! Moody: You told me to stop saying Chaonuts! (Shorty hits his head on the podium. He throws his cards behind him.) Shorty: That’s it! We’re moving onto Final Jeopardy! And the question is… what’s your age…? (Lights dim and they begin to write. When the lights come back on Shorty walks over to them.) Shorty: Since we still have time left we’ll see what you wrote… Moody? Moody’s card: (Picture of a chaonut) Shorty: …how am I not surprised…? Moody: At least I didn’t say it. Shorty: Shut up… (Shorty walks over to Riochet. Riochet starts to pull up his card but Shorty stops him.) Shorty: No, I don’t even want to see what you wrote… (Shorty walks off. Riochet looks down at his card which proudly says: “11”. Shorty comes to Munkee.) Shorty: Hurry up so we can get out of here. Munkee’s card: Your mom Shorty: … you were just running out of stuff to write weren’t you? (hehe, little joke on my writing there…) Munkee: Yeah… (Shorty turns to the camera.) Shorty: That’s it and we’re probably about to get kicked out due to bad ratings… TV producer: Get off of my set! Our ratings were the worst ever! Shorty: See…? (Shorty, Riochet, Munkee, and Moody are driven off by bodyguards.) ******************* --Outside TV set-- Munkee: Well, at least we got some money… Riochet: Yeah… I’m driving! Shorty: Damn… T H E E N D