(Since everybody liked this last time I thought I’d do it again.) --TPCG Jeopardy set- (Camera: Just back from a commercial break.) Shorty: Welecome back to TPCG Jeopardy. Which has somehow gotten back on the air even though it all the contestants are idiots. Anyway, Our contestants are SonKnuck… Ferriter: I heard my name! Shorty: …who is in second place with -6,500 points. Next we have SonKnuck… SonKnuck: …should I say something? Shorty: …in first place with 0 points. And finally Riochet… Riochet: YERHER!!! Shorty: …in last place with a grand total of -17,900 points. And the topics are… (Camera: shows topics) Shorty: “Contestants on this show” “1 letter words” “Household Objects” “Things you should NOT shove up your nose.” “Show and tell” “Numbers between 1 and 3” and “Things in Riochet’s head.” (Camera: shows Shorty again.) Shorty: We’ll start with Ferriter. Ferriter: I’ll take… “1 letter words” Shorty: Okay… here’s the question… “This word is also the first letter of the alphabet.” (Camera: Shows the contestants. No one does any thing. Suddenly Riochet buzzes in. He looks at his buzzer amazingly.) Shorty: Do you have an answer? Riochet: Did you see that? It made a noise! Shorty: …and you’re an idiot. SonKnuck: (buzzes) Oh! Z? Shorty: No… times up. Riochet, pick a topic. Riochet: …I’ll take… “The Rapists” for 5,452 Shorty: …therapists was on the LAST show. Let’s move on to SonKnuck. Pick a topic. SonKnuck: Um… How about “Household Objects” for 200 Shorty: Okay, the question is… “You drink out of this.” Riochet: (buzzes) It did it again! Shorty: You should be shot. Ferriter: (buzzes) A toilet! Shorty: That’s sick… SonKnuck: (buzzes) A hammer! Shorty: …no. On to the next topic… I guess I’ll choose it for you. Let’s do “Show and tell”. I’ll show you an object and you tell me what it is… SonKnuck: (Buzzes) A brown hedgehog! Shorty: No… I am NOT the object. I haven’t even shown you the object yet. (Shorty pulls out a baseball bat.) Ferriter: (buzzes) A toilet! (Shorty looks at the bat.) Shorty: No… I don’t see how on Earth you would think that. Riochet: (buzzes) A Dreamcast! Shorty: No… Riochet: Are sure? Shorty: Yes! It’s a baseball bat! Riochet: So I’ve been playing a baseball bat for the past few months? Shorty: …? Onto the Final Round. The question is… “Letters of the Alphabet” Just write down any letter of the alphabet. (Camera: The lights dim and they all start writing feverishly.) Shorty: There’s no reason any of you should be writing this much… (Camera: The lights come back on. Shorty walks over to the contestants.) Shorty: For sake of tradition we shall see what you wrote. Ferriter? Ferriter’s Card: (A picture of an eyeball) Ferriter: It’s an “I”! Did I get it? Shorty: No… that’s just stupid. (Shorty walks over to SonKnuck.) Shorty: Let’s see what you wrote… SonKnuck’s Card: (A picture of a fist with the middle finger extended.) (SonKnuck starts chuckling.) Shorty: That’s just wrong. Riochet? Riochet’s Card: 3 Shorty: the number 3? Riochet: Ah ah ah… the LETTER 3. Shorty: 3 is not a letter (Camera: Shorty turns toward the camera.) Shorty: Yet again this has been TPCG Jeopardy. Boycott the show and you won’t have to watch these idiots again.