On a not-too-distant planet, Mobius of South Island, Dr. Eggman has kept TSPG in pain, And had done it for quite some time But now with the Egg Carrier all blown up His worst enemy, Sonic has seen enough. He saw that Eggman's plans were too diverse So he sent him packing to the Planet called Earth! (Eggman: I'll be back!) "I'll send TSPG cheesy FANFIC's, The worst I can find. (lalala) They'll have to sit and watch 'em all So I can moniter there minds! (Lalala)" STARRING!: SHORTYYYY!: Got smeg? Now keep in mind Shorty can't control Which FANFIC he'll send him next. (lalala) He'll try and keep his sanity With the help of his really stupid friends. SIDEKICK ROLL CALL MELLIE!: I'm so darn cute! CYNTHIAAAA!: Wot you lookin' at pal?! EDGE!: Can we turn around and go home yet? If your wondering how he is so bored and sad And other pointless facts (lalala) Repeat to your self 'They'll figure it out in the end!', And then you can relax! for Mystrey Sonic Theater 3000! (Mellie and Cynthia are walking down a corridor) Mellie: So why am I here again? Cynthia: Your helping me and the boys MST another sad FANFIC Eggman's = gonna assign us with. Mellie: Gotcha. (They both walk into the main control room where Eggman, Shorty and Edge are waiting) Dr. Eggman: Ah! Ladys! You've arrived! Cynthia: Cut the small talk and give us the video, Robo-dude. Eggman: Whatever you say! The name of the tape is 'THE KNOTHOLE MURDERS'! Shorty: (Sarcastically) Ooh scary. Edge: Likewise. Why are you tellling us now Eggman? Eggman: Because this tape gives no name at the begginning! HAHAHAHA! All but Eggman: *Grumbles* Eggman: Off you go then! (Mellie, Shorty, Cynthia and Edge all walk off) All: Bastard. (The Projecting Room; Mellie, Shorty and Edge walk in while Cynthia is already sitting down) Cynthia: Since we have no begginning on this thing we might as well make our own theme! Mellie: Yeah! Shorty and Edge: Nooo! Mellie: Uh,. Shorty, Um.... Can... I put the film in the projector?..... Shorty: Sure Melz.. Knock your self out (Throws her film cassette) Mellie: Goodie! ^_~! Shorty: How does she do that? (Loads projector and the screen says 'Please wait... Projector is loading...) Edge: Projector is loading? Cynthia: While it's loading we can sing the Sonic Song! Mellie: YEAH! Shorty: (Burys his face in hands) No.. noono... nooo... Mellie and Cynthia: BLUE STREAK SPEEDS BY! SONI-IC THE HEDG-GEHOG! TO FAST FOR THE NIKKED EYE! (This goes on for 1 minute and 5 seconds) Shorty: Have they finished?? Mellie: How were we? Edge: Do you want the nice version or the nasty version. Cynthia: Nice, please. Edge: ................... Aw screw it. Shorty: Look the projectors loaded! >Awwww why cant i go?Tails whined. Shorty: Cos you've been a baaaaaaaaad boy Miles! >Sorry Tails your still to young. Mellie: Whom is speaking? >Then tails looked at Sonic with a sad face.Aw come on Sal, give >the kid a break! Sonic no! Cynthia: Uh, Guys, Sonic's talkin' to him self! Shorty: Engage panic mode! >he is still a little kid. He'll get murdered out there! >Murder, for some reason the word echoed in Tail's head. Shorty: Murder! Mellie: Murder! Cynthia: Murder! Edge: Murder! Shorty: Echo! Mellie: Echo! Cynthia: Echo! Edge: Echo! >Aw Sonic cant i just go with you? Sorry little buddy you heard >your aunt sally. Shorty: I've got it! It's Sonic fights Robotnik: 999999 The never ending battle! Aunt sally, yeah right! tails thought, he never >liked sally that much, Shorty: FOCK YOU SALLY! All but Shorty: Uh?! Shorty: It's a 'Sonic fights Robotnik' quote. in fact he didnt really like any of the >freedom fighters, he only pretended to like >them to make sonic >happy, sonic was his best freind and hero. Mellie: Was that best 'fiend' or 'friend'? (Points to what seems the camera) You decide! Edge: (We see that she is actual pointing to him) Who me? >He didnt have much of a problem with the freedom >fighters >at first, but when sonic started spending all his time with them >and that bitch sally he started to hate them. Cynthia: Such harsh language! Mellie: Oh goodie maybe this Fic' isn't going to be that bad. Shorty: If it's Sonic Fan I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. >He would call her aunt sally and take her comands >only becuase he saw sonic smile with pride every time he did so >Well ive been taking orders long enough! he thought.Im isolated >here, theres no one my age and sonic doesnt even spend time with >me anymore! >and im not a little kid.tails wasnt as weak and defensless as >everyone thought he was. >in fact he had exellent fighting skills becuase every night when >the others were asleep he would sneak off to robotropolis and fight >robots just for fun. Shorty: Riiiiight. And this helps, how? >he only acted weak and defensless becuase he >knew no matter how hard he would try to show them what a >good fighter he was they wouldnt listen. Mellie: If he can show them I think there'd listen then. Shorty: Hey Sonic wait for me! Edge: Hurry up then! Shorty: I'll show him (Destroys 500 hundred bots) Edge: (Destroys 1,000 bots) Cynthia: Hmmmmmm..... That gives me an idea! >Well im not gonna take this shit anymore! Mellie: Whoah! I didn't know 8 year old knew how to say 'shit'! Shorty: (Points to a near by South Park cassette) Mellie: Oh right. >he thought.sonic spends >all his time with those freaks! well im not gonna stick around and >be ignored! ill...ill run away! but he probably wouldnt even notice >im gone.~~murder~~ for some reason that word just kept poping up in >his head. Shorty: Pop! >Then he heard a strange vioce that sounded like it was coming from >some where in his hut.taaaaails, the vioce said, what? whos there? >he answered back. Shorty: What's a 'vioce'? Edge: I think a vioce is a violin! Shorty: Fock you. Mellie: Stop that. Shorty: FOCK! FOCK! Mellie: That's it! (Starts talking Chinese) Hey Cynthia, Edge! Talk in chinese to annoy Shorty! Cynthai: Right! Edge: Me too! Shorty: Err... Guys I'm sorry... Stop talking in chinese now... Please? GUYS!? >taaails, i have a sollution to your problem. what are you talking >about? who are you? a freind tails,a freind just trying to help you.> >Where are you and how did you get in my hut, tails asked now> becoming a bit nervous.Dont be frightend tails, i wont hurt you i >want to help you.show yourself! oh you will see me in time, but not >now.I know how you feel tails, about sonic and how hes >been ignoring you.yes...yes he has.And why is that tails? Shorty: It's because you TALK TO YOURSELF!! HAHAHAHAH! BURN! >becuase he cares about the freedom fighters more than me.well theres >your sollution tails.if you get rid of the freedom fighters then >sonic will devote all his time to >you.but...but how will i do that?there are plenty of ways to do it >tails.one way is to use a nife. *Shorty begins crying beacause of the rubbish spelling* Cynthai: What's with him? Shorty: Argh! (Runs out) Mellie: (In chinese) Beats me. What?!! are you suggesting >i kill the freedom fighters?! yes it is the only way.No! i..i cant! Cynthia: 'Yes you can, Yes you can!' Said the other side of Tails' personallity Mellie: (Laughs) Man, Cynth your gay! Cynthia: Rrrrrrrr..... Shorty: *Walks in* Hello? >im not a murderer!but if you get rid of them sonic will devote all >his time to you. Shorty:... Said Tails other personality!E dge: We've alraedy had that joke! Mellie: And it's still gay! tails thought about this for a moment and he got an >evil grin, his face seemed to change from a happy little >carefree look to a visious one. Mellie: Just like Sonic in Sonic Adventure! Shorty: Shut up, that games good! >The next day the freedom fighters were busy getting ready for the >winter, storing food and such.Tails hunny,will you go >help anttoiun gather berries?sally asked. Cynthia: Another fan made charcter! Will it ever end!? >yes aunt sally, tails said with a smile. hmmm his smile looked odd >almost fony, sally thought, Edge: Ah yes a 'fony' smile! Like the telvision, no? (A large pause) Shorty: ....... Riiiiiight. >but she didnt pay much attention to it. >tails and anttioun walked through the great forest. Tails >led the way until they came to a river.are..are you zure we are >suppozed to crozz theez river tailz? anttioun asked. Edge: Hey Anttioun sounds just like Antoine! Shorty: (Pats Edge on shoulder) Give it up, Edge. for the last >time ant, sally told me the berries are the best across the river. >the river was flowing heavely and the rapids where very ruff. >What ever you zay tailz.after you ant, tails said with a >grin and pointing to a log.tailz cant you carry me acrozz?> anttioun asked. Shorty: No burn! HAHAHA! BURN! Wait, I was suposed to say that after I killed him. >no im..im feeling sick and might drop you in the water. Mellie: Isn't that what you want? >anttioun began to cross the log when tails pushed the log off the >edge.anttioun fell in and the log bumped his head and left him >bleeding. All: Awwwwwww... Poor Antoine! >Tailz heeelllp! he called. Shorty: No Ant, FOCK YOU! Mellie: I'm warning you Shorty.... oh ill help ya ant help you die! >then tails flew over him and shoved his head in the water until >no life was left in him. (The french death song plays) >tails told the others how anttoiun slipped and fell in >to the river and how he tried to save him. Sally and the others >began to cry and tails made out a few fake tears. Edge: Boriiiing! >sonic put an arm around him, its ok tails, you tried your best to >save him.but hes in a better place now, Sonic said Shorty: Wheres that? Edge: Sleeping with the fishes! HAHAHAHAH! >trying to hold back his own tears. >The next day tails helped rotor in his work >shop. rotor was working on ajusting bunnies arms and legs. All: Whoaaah! Shorty: *Makes a growling sound* Go for it Rote! >Tails can you hand me a wrench out of that draw over there? >tails went over to the draw and found a bunch of tools and >equipment, then he opened the draw under it and found an >automatic hand gun. Mellie: Predictible or what. >hey rotor whats this for? he asked. Cynthai: Like he doesn't know! >Woah tails >put that thing down! rotor shouted. Shorty: No! Fo- Mellie: *Gets him in Kung-Fu grip* Say it and die. Shorty: I'msorryma'am! >its loaded and its used for emergensies only!oh ill put it >down, tails said with an evil grin, Mellie: Sonic Adventure grin! Shorty: SHADDAP! put it down your throat! >then tails luanched him self at rotor and shoved the gun down >his throat and fired Edge: : Oh yum bullets! killing rotor instantly, then he shot the surprised bunny numerous times in the stomach and head. Cynthia: Oh may stars! >he put the gun in dead rotors hand and ran over to sonics hut crying. >sally was also there. Shorty: Now she tells us! Edge: So Sonic and Sally ignored the screams and gunshots! >whats wrong little bro? sonic asked.ro...rotor >k..killed bunny(sob) and then killed himself! Cynthai: He's still talking to him self! >oh my god! sally screamed with tears running down her eyes. All: Cheeks! Shorty: (In a sneeky voice) Eh! Snatch! Snatch! >Sonic hugged her tightly and began to cry also. Mellie: Gay! >they barreid rotor >and bunny in the great forest the next day. Edge: Boriiiing! >That night tails heard the voice again. Shorty: Oh so it's a voice this time is it? exellent work tails! three >down, one more and sonic will be your best freind again! i dont >know if i could keep this up what if sonic finds out? >trust me tails he would never think of you, his little buddy a >killer.Now tails you did a great job with those three but sally >still lives.can you show me who you are now? tails asked. Shorty: I am Bingo the Happy Clown! Edge: Lame! Shorty: FOCK YOU! Mellie: GrRRRrRrRrR! Shorty: He started it! >Not until you kill sally, then i shall reveal myself to you. now >get to sallys hut and complete your task! >tails nodded and and headed over to sallys hut. it was pouring >rain out side, thunder and lightning echoed through the forest. Cynthia: It was a dark and stormy night! Shorty: Boo! >it was the first winter storm. All: ......... Shorty: I'm not touching that one. >Sally was sound asleep when she >heard a noise in her living room.She decided to check and see if it >was a burgular. Mellie: In Knothole? >she got out of bed quietly and crept down the hall.she took her >flashlight just in case.she heard a fant sound of foot steps, >whos there? she called. Shorty: Meeeeeeeeeeee..... Mellie: Me who? Shorty: Me Tailsssssssss! ............... FOCK IT! Mellie: *Hits Shorty* >no answer. she turned around to find a dark figure flying at her with a butcher knife. Cynthia: Ray the Flying Squirral?! >The fugure stabber her stomach with the knife. Shorty: Oh so it's a FUGURE now is it!? Mellie: Give it uuuuuup! >sally screamed with pain.she turned on her flash light to see the angry, horrible face of tails snarling at her.tails! what the >hell are you doning! Shorty: Immah doning thiss u sillty girll!> Tails tried to stab her again but she pushed him off of her and >ran out the front door holding her stomach. Cynthia: I need air! >the rain she ran torwards sonics hut screaming his name when tails >pouced on her back and sent her falling in to the wet mud. All but Edge: Oooh! Edge: Shut up! Your all so immature! he bagan>to stap her insanly all over her back making her scream every time he stabbed her. >Sonic heard her screams and imediatly rushed over to her. Mellie: So he only hears Sallys Screams. His mouth >dropped open at the horrible sight of tails on her back stabbing >her with a butcher knife.Tails saw sonic coming and backed away >from sallys body. Shorty: I didn't do it. >Sonic kneeled down by sally.Sal?! he said franticaly, Sal! are you alright?! but it was to late.sally was no more. Shorty: Yaaaay! All but Shorty: Hey! Shorty: <:) Sorry. >Noooo!! Sonic began tosob heavely.Tails stood there with the >bloodly knife in his hand.he saw sonic crying and began to get >tears in his eyes as well. Edge: I just killed someone I hate! I'm so sad! Boo Hoo!> sonic? im sorry i didnt want to do it! Shorty: You did want to do it but at the same time you didn't. Riiight. >sonic looked up at him coldly, tears streaming down his face.Its >just the voice, the vioce told me to do it. Edge: Stop saying it's the violins fault! >Thats right tails i did didnt i? tails heard the vioce say. >Who are you? show your self to me! you promised you would after >i killed sally.Sonic got a strange look on his face. >He had no idea who tails was talking to.Sonic was still nerve >struck and had to think over what just happend. his mind still >refused to beleive that sally was dead and that tails was her >murderer. Edge: I'm so shocked! Shorty: Live with it. Get back to work! >But then he looked at tails and said, tails how could you? >you killed my true love. >I loved you tails, All: Aah! Mellie: Gay! >i loved you like a little brother. All: Phew. >How could you take sally away from me?tails just looked at him >tears forming in his eyes.Then he heard the voice luagh evily. >Awww what a shame tails, i guess this wasnt the sollution >after all.Who the hell are you?!! stop laughing at me!! >ill kill you, you son of a bitch!!! >why tails havent you figured it out yet? tails just got a confused >look.Then out of the shaddows a figure walked out. Shorty: I am Ken Penders! All but Shorty: AAAAAAH! >It...it was tails! Edge: Oh great the evil twin scheme! >or an exact look alike. >What? whats going on >here? tails asked. Dont you see tails im you.Im your own mind. >you are the one that comanded yourself to murder the >freedom fighters.YOU ARE a murderer tails.NOOOO!! i didnt mean >to do it! it wasnt my fualt! im not a murderer! >Sonic looked at tails cconfused, he seemed to be talking to an >invisible person.your lying!tails said to himself! ill kill >you!!! the only way to kill me is to kill your self tails. >then tails took the knife and slit his rist. Mellie: Rist. Nife. A lot of silent letters, no? >he fell down on the muddy ground and held his hand in a large puddle. >Sonic saw him do thid but did nothing, he just sat on the ground >holding the dead body of sally.Tails died the next day and sonic >baried him and sally in the great forest. the end All: Boriiiiiiiing! Edge: So Cynthia, fancy going to the movies to see something? Cynthia: Love to but me and Mellie are painting the town red!M ellie: (Gets out Paintpot) Lituerally! (All but Shorty leave) Shorty: Hey guys? Where ya going? GUYS!? LEGAL CRAP: Shorty is (c) Neil Lafrenais, Cynthia is (c) Cynthia, Edge is (c) Joshua Allen, Mellie is (c) Melissa Kwee. All comments and views were written by Neil Lafrenais, The Knothole Murders is (C) its respective author.