A brand new story from the lurker himself... The Lost Child: Chapter 1 He's not really lost, is he? (It is mid-day in the land of TPCG. Everyone is doing...something. Moving on.) (In the secret underground base of the villians of TPCG, a mysterious figure lurks in the shadows, planning his latest mischif and mayham) ?????: I'm a mysterious person! Andre: No you're not, you're AJ! AJ: Stop that! You ruined my stunning entrance! Andre: You were planning a stunning entrance? AJ: Of course I was! I'm not the leader of Anti-SA2 for nothing! Andre: Why are we doing this in the first place? It's not like we stopped the first one... AJ: Enough with you're babbling! Why do you thing I made you go away form your page to go on my secret mission! Andre; I thought I... AJ: No you didn't! Andre: But I... AJ: Enough! Now, listen to me. The lost child that you took out of my secret base... Andre: ...located at www.s... AJ: Stop that! It's a secret base! Andre: All right, then... AJ: Anyways, I have been raising this mysterious lost child for the past year. With his unique DNA, he has matured much faster then a normal human being. Andre: But I though that Miss Z... AJ: Stop trying to revil crucial plot points! The lost child is now ready to attack.......(5 hours later).......TPCG!!!! Andre: Stop yelling! And how could the "mysterious lost child" be lost if you know where he is? AJ: Stop questioning me! Now....(notices a puddle around his feet)...what is this? Andre: I was going to tell you, I left the sink running. AJ: Oh, great. Hougan! Hougan: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss? AJ: Clean up this mess! Hougan: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee AJ: Right now! (Hougan cleans up the mess. Meanwhile, at TPCG, no one expects what is goning to happen...) TLoB: I'm bored. David TL: Well, you are the lord of bordem, right? TLoB: Hey, where did this guy come from? Riochet: Oh, he's just some one who pops in from time to time. He's a lurker. TLoB: Oh... (SonKnuck and Shorty arrive) SonKnuck: Ever have strange physic premenintions, before? Shorty: All the time, why? SonKnuck: Well, I just got this strange feeling that something is going to happen that no one expected, and that it's an unused plot point that somehow has gotten a hold of someone here. (All the while, someone is lurking in the shadows...) ?: Hahaha...soon, TPCG will not be able to stop the power of... Who is this mysterious figure? Is he somehow related in AJ's master plan? What will the unused plot point be? And does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bed post overnight? All these questions (and more) in the next part of.... The Lost Child! The Lost Child: Chapter 2 General Zanieness Last time, AJ sent Andre to gather the "lost child," which wasn't really lost in the first place. After attempting to stop crucial plot points from leaking, AJ orderd Hougan to clean up. During this time, SonKnuck got a stange physic thought that an unused plot point from a long time ago is about to emerge. All the while, someone mysterious is lurking in the shadows... and now, chapter 2: TLoB: So, SonKnuck, what are your exact feelings? SonKnuck: I'm not sure completly, but for some reason, I think it has something to do with the letters S and P. Shorty: Sonic Pandemonium? SonKnuck: No, not that... I just can't place it. It'll come to me, hopefully. (Suddenly, Shorty collapses) Lil'Hedgie: Shorty! TLoB: Everyone clear out! I know CPR! (TLoB stares at Shorty) TLoB: On second thought.... Ami: Why don't you just take him to TPCG medical facilities? TLoB: Of course! Why didn't I think of that? (So, TLoB and SonKnuck take Shorty to TPCG's hospital. All the while...) ?: So, it seems that Shorty has passed out, according to my plan. So, Shorty, you were quick to try and destroy my family, but soon you will pay dearly....BWAHAHA!!! ??: O u r xy! (Translation: Oh, you are sexy!) ?: Why, thank you. ???: ay! e's me sis! (Translation: Hey, she's my sister!) ?: Then live with it. Have some pie to calm down. ??&???: PIE!!! (Meanwhile, at the villians underground base) AJ: Hey, where did the "lost child" go, Andre? Andre: Oh, you mean S... AJ: Stop it! Andre: Right, right. The "lost child" has gone to destroy TPCG, along with "the twins." AJ: Those buffons!? They act just like there parents! Andre: I know... Samantha: LLAALALALALJNNFIENEIONONNO!!!! (Translation: Hi, hello, howdy ho hiya!) AJ: Speak of the devil... Potato Man: Whe is PIE! n potoa? (Translantion: Where is the pie and the potato's?) AJ: The same place they always are! Potato Man: k. (Samantha and Potato Man leave, and Cornilius enters) AJ: All right, Cornilius, I'm gald you got out of your room. Cornilius: It's not my fault it's so dark! AJ: Then change the lightbulb! Anyways, I want you to go make sure that the "lost child" and "the twins" are following the plan, and not acting really stupid...well, more then usuall. Andre: What about me? AJ: Fine, go with him. Amy: What about me? Andre: Where did you come from? I thought you left! Amy: Prick you! (Amy leaves) AJ: Now, go off, you two! (They do so) AJ: Yes...soon, no one will be able to stop me! I will be the supreme ruler of all! Haha! Andre: Not very fear-inducing, AJ. AJ: I thought you left! Get out of here! Andre: Fine, fine... AJ: Bwaha! (Meanwhile, outside TPCG headquarters) Andre: I'M HE.. ?: Shut up, you fool! Do you want to be caught? Andre: I guess not... ?: That's better. Now, what's the plan? Cornilius: We thought you made one. ?: ... Cornilius: Racist! ?: Oh shut up! Now...hey, where are the twins? ??: PIEEEEEE!!!! ???: PIIIEEEEEE!!! ??: PPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! ???: IIIIIIIIII!!!!!! ??&???: EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ?: God help me. (Let's leave this little bit of insanity, shall we? Inside the headquarters of TPCG) Riochet: Oh Shorty, how we hardly knew ye! SonKnuck: He's not dead yet, Riochet. Riochet: I know, but how can we know his medical condition? SonKnuck: Couldn't we ask the doctor? Riochet: I don't think you want to... SonKnuck: Oh, what can the trouble be? (SonKnuck then walks up to the TPCG doctor) SonKnuck: So Doc, how's... TPCGDoctor: AHHHH!!!! A pientin! How r u today? Ach am fine. YAYAYA! SonKnuck: The hell...? TPCGD: HOohohohohoho! (He then bites SonKnuck) SonKnuck: He bit me! Why that little.... (SonKnuck then knocks out the doctor) SonKnuck: That'll show him. (Ami rushes in) Ami: Oh! I see you found the escaped medical patient! You know, he is contagious. SonKnuck: Wha...? Riochet: I smell a subplot... SonKnuck: Ahhh!!!! Riochet: So, how's Shorty? SonKnuck: How's Shorty! What about me!?!? Ami: Oh, I think he'll be fine. Edge, Anony and TLoB are in there now. They might know more. I just had to find the kook. SonKnuck: He bit me!! Ami: Well, what can I do? (Ami leaves) Riochet: Interesting. SonKnuck: What just happend? Riochet: Ask the writer. I'm guessing he's just trying to do anything, and is basiclly sacrificing normal behavior in turn. (I'm surprised, Riochet!) Riochet: Isin't it the truth? (If it was, then this would be you) Riochet: Screw you, SonKnuck! SonKnuck: What? Riochet: I didn't say that. I think it was our incompitint writer trying to prove...something. (But it's not, so you won't say that) Riochet: Oh, just get past this, already! This is getting tiresome. (Meanwhile, at Shorty's room) Anony: How is he, doctor? Doctor: I'd tell you, but this part just ended. Edge: What are you talking about? What will happen now? What will the "lost children" do? What is the fate of Shorty? What about SonKnuck? Will more charectors get out of charector? What about AJ? Will he finally get his long sought revenge? Will I ever stop making stupid jokes? Find out in the next part of "The Lost Children"! The Lost Child: Chapter 3 Where is Shorty? Last time, Shorty suffered from some unkown thing, which caused him to be brought to the TPCG medical facilities. AJ then sent off Andre and Cornilius to make sure that the "Lost Children" were performing their assignment. However, on a seemingly pointless tangent, a crazy person bit SonKnuck, and his personalitly is contagious. What will this mean? Read on... Doctor: I can go on, the new part has started. TLoB: So, tell us, how is Shorty? Doctor: You may be stunned to hear this, but I believe that Shorty is suffuring from "plot point-itis." Anony: What? Doctor: Well, this fic has a purpose, and I think that it's going to affect Shorty in a matter of minutes. Edge: Can you be sure? Doctor: Well, there is always the possibility that he has been eating gassy foods. TLoB: Uh... Edge: Ah... Anony: Choo? (The three companions then bolt out) Doctor: What? (The Doctor's then knocked out) ?: Haha...Shorty is now mine. ??: Wt? ???: TUBABS!! ?: No, I don't want tuna. (So ? takes Shorty out of the medical facilities, thus instituting the plot point-ities. So, Shorty wakes up) Shorty: (sleepily)No mama, I donna want to go to shcool....(becomes aware) hey! I'm being kidnapped! Someone do something! (Somewhere else) Edge: Did you hear something? Riochet: I don't think so... (Let's get back to Shorty) Shorty: Darn! No one can hear me, well there is only one thing to do...and that is to perform my greatest martial arts training ever! (However, Shorty doesn't get the chance) Shorty: Why not? (Because you get knocked unconcious by ?) Shorty: Oh poo. (So he gets knocked unconcious) ?: Bwahaha....soon, I will avenge...er, well, I don't know. But someone will be glad that I'm avengeing something! (So ? walks away, along with ??&??? just as Ami walks in) Ami: So Shorty, how are..... (She notices something amis) Ami: Um...where's Shorty? (Somewhere else in TPCG) Edge: So, what do we do now? Riochet: Beats me. SonKnuck: How about trying to save me from a phycotic end? Anony: Well..... Ami(rushing in): Guys, have you seen Shorty? TLoB: Last I saw him was in the medical facilities, where he was still unconcious and being watched over by the doctor. Edge: Yeah, he was just laying there when the doctor said he may be suffering from "Plot Point-itis." Ami: "Plot Point-itis?" Anony: Yeah, but it could also be gassy foods. Ami: Arghh!!! Don't you see what's happened? Riochet: He took Beno? Ami: NO!! He has fallen to the "Plot Point-itis!" Right now, he could be kidnapped, or worse! Edge: Well then, there is only one thing to do, and that's to save him! SonKnuck: Right-OOO! Riochet: SonKnuck? SonKnuck: Great, it"s starting. I need to get help. Hows the doctor..? Ami: In a state of unconciousness. SonKnuck: ... H.Mac: Leave him here. You need to go acomplish your goal! TLoB: How'd you get here? H.Mac: No time to explain! Go! Edge: All right... H.Mac: Come with me SonKnuck, I may know a way to save you from a mad state. SonKnuck: k. (Let's switch locations, shall we?) ?: So, Shorty, how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Shorty: I don't see any stick. ?: Arrggghhh!!!!! I was talking about being captured! Shorty: Oh. We've never captured anyone sucessfully. ?: But you have defeated others! Shorty: So? It doesn't seem like anyone gets destroyed. If they do, they just appear out of nowhere. ?: I don't even know why I'm talking to you! Oh wait, now I do. Shorty: Huh? Can I go? ?: No! Shorty: But I have to...you know.... ?: Arrggghhh!!!!! Shorty; You sure like to say that a lot, don't you? ?: That's enough! From someone who has tried to destroy my family, I would expect something much more...intelligent. Shorty: I am intelligent! ?: If you were, then you would have already deduced my identity... Shorty: Simple Simon? ?: No! Shorty: Then who? Who?? WHO!?!?!?!?!?! ?: Please, don't go overboard. Shorty: Sorry, I thought you wanted some dramatic effect. (And as ? reveals his orgins, we conviently go off to another corner of the planet. Yes, I am going to keep some things secret for even longer) Ami: Oh Shorty, I hope you're all right! Edge: Don't worry, Ami. I'm sure that we can find him. If not, then my name is tuba the townfish. Riochet: Uh, Tuba? Edge: Hey, we've barly started! Riochet: Yes, but we may have already failed. Edge: Why? Riochet: Because of that...thing. Edge: Oh poo. (And what do they see? A large mechanical pie) Andre: Bow before the mecha-pie!!! Now that TPCG have gotten caught in this strange perdicament, what will happen now? Will they be able to save Shorty? Or themselves for that matter? What about SonKnuck and H.Mac? How will this seemingly pointless subplot go? And what about the tundra? Huh? Stay tuned for the startling conclusion of The Lost Child! The Lost Child: Chapter 4 Pointlessness Abound! When we last left our hero's, we had found that Shorty was suffering from "Plot Point-itis," which caused Shorty to be captured by ?. Also, H.Mac appeared, claiming to be able to solve SonKnuck's problem. Meanwhile, Ami, Edge, Anony, TLoB, and Riochet have gone off to find Shorty. However, they have come across Andre in the mecha-pie. To find out the conclusion, then read on... Andre: Bwaha! Cornilius: Tea, sir? Andre: Why thank you, Cornilius. Edge: Listen here, Andre... Riochet: ...we won't let you... TLoB: ...destroy u- (Unexpectedly, the machine explodes) Andre: AAAAHHHH!!!!! Riochet: Well, that was easy. TLoB: Hey! He interupted me! Edge: But now we won't have to waste any energy. TLoB: I guess... Anony: Um...can I say anything? Riochet: Is there anything you want to say, Anony? Anony: Well, no, it's just that I seem to be mute on this little excersion. Edge: Well then, let's get going! (Meanwhile, in the place where H.Mac and SonKnuck are) SonKnuck: Are you sure this will work, H.Mac? H.Mac: Of course I am! SonKnuck: Well, what are all these boiling potions and sharp objects for? H.Mac: Oh, those things? They're just for show. SonKnuck: Do you even belong here? H.Mac: Beats me. Now, let's get cracking. (H.Mac then starts to crack some eggs) SonKnuck: Whatare th eggs for? H.Mac: To make an omelete. I'm hungry. Want one? SonKnuck: Sure. (Don't you just love pointless conversation? Now, on to Shorty) ?: ...and that's the whole story. Shorty: I can't believe it. ?: Who knew what was possible? Shorty: But...but...but.... ?: I know, it seems like it's a dream, but it's all real. The whole story. Shorty: Well, I guess I should keep this a secret, shouldn't I? ?: Yeah, if you want. I don't know who else to tell. (And now, for a truly evil anouncement. I will be keeping this identity secret for the remainder of the stroy. I was going to reveal it, but I got lazy, and thus created a whole saga with the secret orgin of this charector. Bwahaha!) (Oh yeah, onto Ami and the rest) Ami: I think we're getting closer. Anony: What would give you that impression? Ami: That. (The gang looks up, and sees a large sign saying "Shorty is Here") Riochet: Is it just me, or are the villans getting stupider by the minute? Edge: I guess we should go in, shouldn't we? TLoB: Do we have to? It could be a trap. Ami: We must rescue Shorty! If we don't, someone here will have to get hurt... TLoB: Like I said, let's go! (So they march in, most likly into complete danger. Somewhere else...) SonKnuck: Now that we've eaten, can we get on witit? H.Mac: Oh yeah, sure sure. (H.Mac then gives SonKnuck a potion) H.Mac: Drink this. (SonKnuck does. He turns into a chicken) SonKnuck: This isin't what I was expecting. Bawk! H.Mac: Oops, guess that was the wrong one. Let's try something else. (SonKnuck drinks something else, and turns into H.Mac) SonKnuck: Um... H.Mac: Well, at least you look stunning! SonKnuck: Ring me bck!!!! H.Mac: But you're not a bell. SonKnuck: ...---... H.Mac: AAAAHHHHH!!!! (runs away) SonKnuck: uh... (H.Mac then returns) H.Mac: Sorry, it's just that I thought something terrible was going to happen. Here, drink this. (So SonKnuck drinks it) SonKnuck: Hey, I'm back to normal! And I can think and talk normal! I'm cured! H.Mac: See, I knew what I was doing the whole time! SonKnuck: ... (Suddenly, they start to hear strange noises) SonKnuck: What's that? H.Mac: Oh, just some strange noises. Samantha: o!!! potaoman!!1! goo (Translation: Oh, Potato Man! That feels so good...) SonKnuck: Did you just hear what I think I heard? H.Mac: If so, we better run. Both: AAAHHHHH!!!! (And so they run away, thus ending the pointless subplot, and in a direct collision course with the main plot) (In another place) Edge: Well, that was simple enough. Besides the extreme battle, of course. Riochet: I didn't even know we could do those moves! Ami: I ache all around. I don't think I could strectch like that again. That is, in public... Anony: Yes, you can tell your new found talents to Shorty when we find him. TLoB: Speaking of which, where is Shorty? ?: Hello, TPCG! TLoB: Who the hell are you? ?: Like I'm going to reveal my secret identity! I'm sure you are here to find out where Shorty is. Shorty: Hi. ?: What! How did you get out? ??: o, did y/ wnt ghin un? (Translation: Oh, did you want him in his cell?) ???: tld u! (Translation: Told you so!) Riochet: Could they be...nah... (Suddenly...) SonKnuck: Help us! H.Mac: The horror! The HORROR!!!!!! SonKnuck: Oh, hi. Shorty: What's wrong, guys? SonKnuck: We heard a noise that shouldn't even be uttered on the planet! TLoB: And that is...? H.Mac: Samantha and Potato Man were...were....ughh...I'm going to... (And H.Mac, well, you know...) SonKnuck: I think I'll join...ughh.... Shorty: Poor, poor ears... Riochet: Maybe we should go. ?: Curses! We will meet again, TPCG, mark my words... Shorty: Where? ?: Arrggghhh!!!!! Shorty: See, I told you! (?, ??, and ??? all dissapear) (On the way home) Edge: So, we're on our way home. TLoB: Yep. Riochet: And nothing really happened, did it? TLoB: Nope. Anony: In fact, there was no point to the kidnapping of Shorty at all, was there? Ami: I can think of one. (Ami then wispers something into Shorty's ear) Shorty: Oh, um...guys, I'll see you later. Me and Ami are going to..um.... (Shorty and Ami run off) Riochet: Ah, young love. Too bad I'm not in love with a woman...who will talk to me, of course. Anony: Yep. TLoB: I thought I was in charge of short answers? Anony: Yep. Just because this stroy has ended doesn't mean that the plot is over! Oh no, there still is the question of who exactly the ? people are. So stay tuned to whenever I decide to complete this arc to find out the secret that is hidden.... Coming soon in an unnamed fic.