A year ago, in a website somewhere in cyberspace...

David T. Lurker presents...
the fic that no one wanted (or was even expecting, for that matter...)DTL-The Pointless Adventures of a Lurker!

The Time: Mid 1999The Place: Sonic Pandemonium
It is another day in the land of SP.  Many posters on the board, such as Shorty, Sonique, Riochet, Mike Shaffer, SonKnuck, and the rest of the gang, continue to do...whatever.  However, lurking in the shadows exsists...the lurkers.

Out in the pastures of SP, a lonly person walks around and around, in a very annoying circle.  If anyone was there to notice, they would see he was on fire.  Then again, mabye no one would really care.

DTL: It seems I have survived yet another flame war.  Why must the casualties be those of the lurkers!  I would make a statement...but I won't.Suddenly, a strange, swirling blue vortex opens up.

DTL: Oooo... pretty....Being the stupid fellow that he is, DTL runs head first into what could have been a atom vaporiser, or even worse, China Land!  But what is it really?  An interdimensional vortex, conviently stolen off the set of "Sliders!"  As our misguided lurker lands, he finds himself in a cheesy movie rip-off.

DTL: Hmmm, it seems that we're getting free HBO!Unnamed person: You!  Who do you think you are?DTL: Well, who do you think you are?Up: Why should I tell you?

DTL: Just because...Up: Fine then... I am a Kromagg!

DTL: Really? I thought you were an up.Kromagg: Enough with your stupid human foolishness!  Come with me, and we shall torture you with incredible torture!DTL: What could you possibly throw at me that is worse then the endless saga of Sonic fights Robotnik?Kromagg: Why....this!

The Kromagg then reveals the entire third season of "Sliders".  DTL is stunned, but sits and watches.  After eating twenty tubs of popcorn, he relizes he needs to go to the bathroom.DTL: I need to go to the bathroom.

Kromagg: This is supposed to be torture!  No bathroom breaks allowed!

DTL: But I really have to go!Kromagg: No!

DTL: Please please please please please please please please please?T

he Kromagg then explodes.  For no reason whatsoever.  Just then, another portel appears.  Being the idiot he still is, DTL jumps in once again.DTL: Is there a movie on this flight?

Mallory: Huh?  I don't know who you are, but I'm a freak who has two identies, which happen to be the same people but look nothing alike!

DTL: I'm confused.

DTL then spills out the wormhole, only to find himself in a place he never expected.

BUnnies: Wy, some wormhoels are blue an' some ar' green an' some are yellow an' some are orange, heck y'all, some aren't wormhols at all!

RObotnik: Do do do do do!  Welcome to the Robotnik show!Sonic: It's slip-slam jumpin' jam ultra focking peanut putter-bananna-jelly-apple orange pinapple juice time!He has landed in...a Sonic_Fan story.

DTL: Nooooooo!Is this the end of our hero?  Is he domed to spend the rest of his life trapped in a dimension without sanity, full of crystals that arn't crystals, cybersuits, shows about Robotnick, or is it RObotnik, and cybersex?  Just read on...(What, you thought I was going to torture you with a multi-part fic of me trying to be funny with something to try to explain I dissipeard off the face of SP...er...Perfect Chaos...er....Shadow of Light?)DTL: I can't take this!

DTL runs far, far away...only to find himself in an even stranger place... a place where pie runs like water, and where Samantha Clarfet still exsists, along with Knuckle and Kuckles.... China Land.

DTL: China Land?As he thinks this, a 140X140 sq. foot pie decides to land on this lurker lost in cyberspace.  However, this pie gives him the momentium to go sprawling away from China Land, away from Sonic_Fan, back to his roots...The Time: Present Day
The Place: Sonic Pandemonium

DTL: Is it true?  Is it really Sonic Pandemonium?However, when DTL runs into the city...DTL: They've moved?  And I thought this was such a lovley spot...So DTL goes off to follow the trail.  He finds himself in a deserted building called "Perfect Chaos."DTL: They moved again?  Wow, I must really have been gone a long time.

So DTL goes on a third hike, and finds himself at "Shadow of Light".DTL: So, this is where everyone is!

Just then, a flamming bomb hits DTL, causing him to burst into flames.

DTL: And just like it always has been, it seems...The End...or is it?  Probobly is....but is it?  Yes, it is, and that's all I have to say about that!

-David... The Lurker
(Oh no!  I've said too much.)