Realm Legends: Mini Legends By: Chandra Rooney ________________________________________________________________________ Legal stuff: Ty-Dye Da Echidna is copyright of herself. GinkCat is copyright of Gink. Vance and Joryuu are copy-right o' me. Don't copy this or I kill you. Clear? Good. I'm too lazy to write anymore legal crap. Go ahead and sue. I don't even technically own this computer. ________________________________________________________________________ Ichi: A Good Muse Can Be Hard To Find Secrets are wonderful things, ne? There's nothing better than knowing something that someone else doesn't. It can provide hours of amusement. Dramatic Irony may be cheap and easy but it's also very fun. Joryuu loves secrets too, y'know. Oh you don't know who Jo is. Well, it doesn't matter. It's pretty hard to keep secrets when there's only two of you living in the house. Course no one ever said I keep secrets from Jo. I very seldom do. The point is there are just certain things I don't like to tell her about. Sometimes she's too motherly for her own good. But she does make very good chocolate chip cookies. Probably the best I've ever had. I doubt anyone who's ever lived could make cookies as good as those. I digress. You'll have to forgive me. I tend to do that. Annoyingly too many details on trivial things and not enough on major concepts. I also tend to ramble and lose my train of thought easily. Anyway, Jo hasn't been around much lately and I've got no one to tell secrets to. I guess I could keep em all to myself, but there's no fun in that. 'Sides...I really do need someone to bounce ideas off of. She, Jo, told me I should find some nice girl to bring home. I don't know if she realizes she's a girl. Sometimes I think she's not really. She's a guy that just looks and acts like a girl. But I digress yet again. So this is why I've invited you here, my dear nameless one. Oh you're insulted by that "nameless" bit are you? Gomen nasai, but it's half the fun. You don't know who I am, and I don't know who you are. Well actually I do...but let's pretend I don't, hai? Nani? Oh you want to know who I am, do you? Aa, but my dear, that is my greatest secret. One of a few select ones that I simply cannot share with you. I could give you various names which are familiar to you, but then my secrets are in jeopardy. And give you my *real* name? Impossible! As I said before it is something that you cannot ever know. "But enough of this," I cleared my throat. "Let's get down to business. I'm in quite a spot, my dear. I've got this terrible case of writer's block." "Writer's block?" she asks. "I'm afraid I don't understand. How can I help with this?" "Please do sit. Let's not be so uncomfortable. We're all good friends here, ne? Cookie?" "I...still don't see what writer's block has to do with me..." "Well, you have heard of a muse, ne? I'm always having falling outs with mine. Lost about five of them the last go around. Probably why the whole works turned out so inconsistent. I apologize for that, by the way." "Inconsistent?" "Oh that's right. You wouldn't see that, would you? Well, let it be then. I do believe my writing has improved. Hopefully this time around will go smoother." I leaned back in my chair. Not too far, last time I had just gotten relaxed when the damn thing decided to tip over. Mom wasn't impressed. But of course she didn't say she wasn't impressed. Mom seldom does that. Even when she knows that my works are terribly messy and a real hack job she still approves of them. "I'm sorry," she says, "but I don't understand why I'm here. Or where here is." "Well, forget it all then. I've got some information I'd like to get from you." "Information?" "Lirsage isn't real, you know." "What?!" "Now, don't go getting all emotional on me. I can't stand melodramatics. It drives me insane. There's a time and place for drama. Here isn't it. Oh you're not going to remember any of this afterwards. Just so you know. So you can ask me anything and it won't matter. The secret is still a secret. Great system, ne?" "Who the hell are you?" she demands, standing. "I want to go home!" "All right all right. I guess it really doesn't matter does it? You won't remember any of this. You can call me Vance. It's not my real name but it'll do. Sweet Chaos, Rasia, you've wrecked my fun already and you haven't been here more than ten minutes!" "My name isn't Rasia." "You don't think it is because we haven't reached that part yet. Just like...oh nevermind. We're getting side-tracked." I paused. "You are such a little inspiration, you know that? I get all sorts of ideas just having you sit here with me. We could have such fun together! I'd really love to come on this quest with you. Well...physically come...play an active part. It'd be a blast." "I don't understand you at all." "You're not supposed to understand me. It's beyond you. No one can comprehend me. I'm not saying this in pride or anything. It's just the truth. No one here or there could ever comprehend what I am or what I do. It's very enigmatic, don't you think? Some people find that sexy. But after a while it just frustrates them. I don't have many associates as you can probably tell. But I don't need them. Oh, Chaos, again! You're purposely leading me off-track! This just isn't working. I can see the best thing to do is to come deal with you on your level. Of course this means I'll have to destroy someone. I do need a part to play and I simply refuse to add in any more characters. You are a bothersome bunch to keep track of as is." She sat there and looked confused. "It's good that you're not going to remember this. I'll get a clean slate and some time to decide how to deal with you." I paused. "But before we go, I must know...do you love that Gibbon character? It must be confusing now that Lirsage seems to have returned." "I...can't see how that's any of your business!" "Well indeed. I suppose I'll find some way in. It might be a good time to try my Nev'aehian idea. You know, the demon and the Seraphian half? The two separate identities. Nev'aeh is Heaven backwards. Pretty clever, ne? By the way, do you think Zephyr is gay? I simply can't figure it out..." "I-" "Would like to leave? Well I suppose I've gotten all you're going to give me. We'll talk later. Here and there. Probably here before there. But we'll talk. Ja mata, dear." 9:18 pm Feb. 12 1999 Ni: Ty-Dye Which Echidnas? The problem to deal with before this whole "finding a way in" was first deciding where it was all going. Normally I hate organizing anything. Take my room for example. There's stuff all over the place. Just from where I'm sitting I can see an over- turned FFVII Strategy Guide, a stack of Slayers Videos, my staff and that void we think might be a black hole in the closet. Really. Socks go in...and only one ever comes out. Joryuu calls it a fitting place for Chaos to live. I mean the room, not the black hole. I haven't decided if I'm insulted by that or not. I think I wrote once about how Chaos hates to be ordered around. I speak from personal experience. But I also have seen that relying purely on those "sudden flashes" of inspiration to guide a story completely isn't the best way. You have to at least plan some parts of the conflict. But not all of it. If you plan all of it then you lose the opportunity to have that lightbulb moment when you get the idea that makes it proceed for the next few chapters. Lightbulbs are good. Chaos likes to change light bulbs on a regular basis. Chaos is my friend. Chaos changes my lightbulbs most often. Probably why something always starts so simple and becomes this epic that I lose control of. Chaos is great that way. Order is boring. Order demands that you stick to his plan. Order and I tend to disagree. Order likes to hang out with Logic. I can't stand Logic. Jerk's always trying to tell me 'this isn't logical' and 'that just won't work' and constantly accuses me of lacking any common sense. Plus, being what I am, I tend to find Chaos' plans much more fun. Chaos never tells her secrets. And she's very flexible when it comes to plans. Something better came up? Great, let's go with that. Chaos and I used to go out quite frequently, but then we both got busy doing things. I should call her up. I wonder if she's busy tomorrow night. We could go to that nightclub we met at... But enough about me, and onto the problem at hand. "You see," I look at the furry creature sitting across from me. She is white with multi- colored hair quills. "I need someone to hide a few of these scrolls for me. I was going to come up with the whole where they have to go to find them myself, but I'm drawing a blank. Plus, there's no challenge in that for me if I...nevermind." "How did I get here?" she asks. "And...uh who are you again?" "Ah, that is a secret," I tell her, smiling. "So do you want to be a part of this or not?" "Well....okay. But what if I accidentally tell them where it is?" "I should hope you would. They couldn't find it otherwise. Besides, I'm the only one allowed to have multiple enigmatic secrets. And ramble on about things that no one understands. It's my job." "Okay. So when do I get to be in?" "Soon." "Right! That was Ty-Dye Da Echidna. You got that?" "Ty-dye which echidna? K.T.E. is the only echidna and I can't see how that would fit into the plot as of yet, not to mention that I don't think he'd like to be ty-dyed very much." "I don't get it." "It's a play on words. Your name 'Ty-Dye Da Echidna' and the action of ty-dying an echidna...and nevermind. I can see puns aren't my specialty." "I will get to chase around all those yummy guys, right?" "Oh sure. That's just a given isn't it?" I stand and shake her hand. "I cannot thank you enough for coming, Miss Da Echidna. You're going to love being a part, even if it is a minor one, of this time. We'll have lots of fun. Just you wait and see." Feb. 12 1999 San: I'll Have a GinkCat Straight Up Bartender {thanks to Gink for her the help with her character ^_^. Bwa-hahahaha! I have read "The Fall of Ice Haven" and know how Gink is! You don't!} See if you're going to have guests over for the first time it's much like ordering a drink that everyone keeps telling you about. Normally one doesn't bang on the bar and say "I'll have a Lina Inverse, extra Dragon Slave, my good man!" or "One Gin and Sonic on the rocks!". Well sometimes I do, but people can tell from looking at me that I'm the kinda of person that would do something like that. Chaos hasn't come yet, but you just can never predict her. I've been shooting dirty looks at that damn Order and Logic all night. Logic is drunk and drooling all over Order. Order's handling it in a very Orderly manner. I have no respect for him. Can't he be irresponsible for once? The tavern's as good a place as any. It was a nightclub when Chaos and I met, but things change, despite Order's attempts to stop them from doing so. I do love seeing him outmatched again and again. It's quite amusing. Chaos comes in, sits down and bangs on the counter. "Vodka." The bartender, oddly enough it happens to be Joryuu, gives my lady friend an odd look and hands her the glass. Oh I suppose you're wondering why Joryuu would be serving me...a supposed minor. Well, another secret. You did know I was going to say that, didn't you? "Ha. I knew you were going to drink this time," I say proudly. "Your randomness is becoming ordered, Lady C." "It was a fifty-fifty chance, you idiot." She yawns. "Wanna look the part, don't I? Can't believe you're asking *me* for help! Why do I have to interview people with you?" "So you're drinking vodka straight? Oh yeah. Very good." I shrug. "As for why you're here....that's a secret." "Smug bastard. You really get on my nerves sometimes. Don't you forget who knows your little secret. One word from me and you won't be so happy." "But you wouldn't do that to me, would you Chaos-chan?" I smile. "Another drink!" She bangs on the table. "If I have to deal with this crap I might as well get drunk while I'm here." "What the hell kinda of name is Chaos anyway?" I ask. "Most humans can't drink more than two or three glasses of wine let alone down two glasses of vodka without wobbling." "You're buying, right?" she chose to sip this glass. "Chaos is a fine name. When's this little interviewee coming?" "I dunno." "I give it one...two...." she points to the window. A small black cat hops down to the counter. "You owe me another drink for that, Fei." "I hate that name..." "Well, then you owe me another drink, Lir." "I hate that one too." "C'mon, didn't you make these names up?! How can you hate them?!" "Because I attach them to a certain character and as you can see I am not playing those-" "Fine fine." She clears her throat. "You owe me another drink, Ash." "That's better. Go easy on those vodka slurpies." "You make a lousy Ashrire. Did I ever tell you that?" Chaos sips her drink. "You can't pull of being a blond." "Shut up." "I'm sorry Xe-" "SHUT UP!" The black cat jumps into my lap. I calm down by giving her a little scratch behind the ear. "Bartender, I'll have one GinkCat...straight up!" She shifts out of her cat form. "That could be taken in so many ways." "Hello Miss Gink. Nice of you to join us." I say to the petite girl who sits in my lap with her tail wrapped around my neck. Chaos downs her drink, and bangs for another. "She'll do nicely." "Glad you approve." I stand, and GinkCat falls on the floor. "Do for what?" the GinkCat asks. "Nothing involving S-E-X so you can stop grinning like that. I want you to do me a favor. I have a little something I need you to do. Interested?" "Depending. What do you have in mind," she says with a gleam in her feline eyes. Then she jumps up on the bar and crosses her legs. "A scavenger hunt. I need you to hide an item and then lead some people to where it is." "That doesn't sound very fun." Chaos laughs. "HELL YEAH! SHE'S PERFECT!" "C-chan! Keep your voice down," I hiss. "Order's giving you funny looks!" "SCREW MY EX!!!" "Uh...no. I'm twisted, but even I'm not THAT twisted." Chaos's face scrunches up as she tries to determine if that's an insult or not. Gink leans over to Chaos. "Insult...I think." "With him?" Chaos asks, pointing to me. "It's too hard to tell." From across room, Order gets up and walks over. He looks pissed. Not as in drunk, but as in I'm-about-to-smash-the-bunnies! "Smash the bunnies!" Gink asks loudly. "What the hell does that mean, Ash?" "Did I say that out loud?" "I guess you must have. I don't have any magical ability beyond shifting after all. Remember?" "Look here you little, punk," Order begins addressing Gink, "this is a fine establishment and I won't have you and your delinquent friends causing trouble." "Screw off," Chaos blubbers. "Tell him to screw off , Xel-" "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" I yell. "Xel?" Gink files this away for future reference. "Xel...?" Order looks at me suspiciously. "Waitaminute...It's YOU!" "Bravo. Well done." I applaud. "Want a cookie for your efforts?" "I don't want a freakin cookie! You little bastard! I have made it my solemn duty to get rid of you! You...you...Unorderly associate of Chaos!" "I prefer 'Priest of Chaos', or 'Chief Counselor to all things unOrderly'." I respond with a sly grin. "You can't do anything to me anyway, Ordy-kun. You know that." "Have a drink?" Gink asks, whisking Chaos's drink from her hands. "I don't drink," Order snaps. "It's not alcoholic," she says very innocently. Order looks at Chaos. "I am not so stupid as to fall for-" I force the drink down his throat. "C'mon Ordy-kun! The night is young! The world is asleep dreaming of promises they can't keep...and best of all, I'm starting to sing Bryan Adams' songs..." "Who?" Gink asks. "Nevermind," Chaos bangs on the table. "Bartender! Another drink for my bastard-ex and myself!" Order sways on his feet. The vodka has gone straight from throat to bloodstream. No stomach involved here, folks. Look ma no-...Ahem. That's just repetitive. "Why, what were you going to say?" Gink asks. "I was going to say 'look ma, no stomach' but-- hey, how did you...?" She smiles. "That's a secret." "HAH! You just don't know! People always say 'that's a secret' when they don't know the answer!" "So that means you don't know squawt, huh?" Chaos asks. "Aw, bite me...." "So what do you want me to hide?" Gink asks. "I thought it didn't sound fun." "But that doesn't mean I won't do it." "I wouldn't." "Yeah, but you're a wuss, Ash." Joryuu comes over with two glasses of vodka. She turns to me. "You drinkin, cutie?" I can't resist. "Gee? You like boys? Me too!" Gink falls off the bar. "What the hell?! ASH!!!" "Ash? Cute name." Jo winks. "Here's my number." "I don't like girls!" I yell and point to Gink. "But she does!" Jo laughs. "That's okay. I don't think you're my type anyway." Gink looks confused for a moment. "Hey...you're *not* Ash!" "Yes I am." "No you're not." "Uh...yes I am." "No you're not." Little pain in the ass....maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I can't afford to have her ruin everything. If anyone of them was ever to find out what the real story is- "So what is the real story?" Gink asks. "Gaaaaaaaah!!!!" "Honey," Chaos taps Gink. "Wanna be a messenger for me? I like you." Order climbs up on the nearest table and begins to sing 'I'm Too Sexy'... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Gink yells. "No! Whoa Tiger! Whoa!" Chaos leans over to me and says in a vodka-tinged breath. "Just write it out of her memory, Xel-chan." She winks. "Oh yeah. Bartender!" I yell. "On second thought...I'll have a drink after all. No sense in letting the lot of you have all the fun." A short time later... fuZZy thining dis vokda. "Yep," Gink nods. Did i say dat out loud agains? "No." "My head...hurts...when did your friend get here?" I points at da udder small girl wish dark curlie hair and bat er uh kat earsh. Gink grins. "So, what is it that I have to hide?" I rub my head and try to sober up. "Coffeee...." "I have to hide coffee?" "No, you have to hide this Scroll of Heaven. I *want* some coffee." "Oh I see. What's so important about this little old scroll?" "No. Coffee first...talkies later." Gink waves the coffee cup at me. "You can have a little sip...if you tell me first." I growl. Or as close to the noise as a drunk humaniod can make. I'm not telling her that the scrolls are the keys to Our power and I have to keep them out of psycho-power- hungry folks like Order or Logic...imagine if they could do what I- "So what do you do?" Gink asks as lets me have a sip of coffee. "Oh this and that. No wait...i means dat issa secret!" "I know you're not Ash. Who are you?" Dis is a toughie. I knows who I am...I thinks. I been so many peoples that it gets hard to demember sometimes. So I thinks maybe I can tells her Fei, or Lir, or Van, or Ash, or Nexus, or Gabriel... I certainly can't tells her Xellun. Nope can't tell her my real name. That means trouble. And not fuzzy bunnie slippers and cotton candy clouds trouble either. I meanst the big trouble. The actual knowings wouldn't bes so bad. But if she accused me of not being.... Gink leans back and pushes the mugs over to me. "You'd better sober up before you do something stupid." I down the mug in one drink, and somehow the caffeine helps. Probably because I THINK it will. "Well," Gink smiles. "It's closing time, so I'd best be going." She shifts back into cat form and hops out the window she came in. I look over at Chaos. She's shaking her head. "I like that one, but she could be trouble. You better keep a close eye on how she develops." I nod. Order passed out hours ago. Jo is trying to help the slightly more sober Logic get him off the floor. Chaos smiles at her ex. "I think my work here is done." 11:25 am Feb. 14 1999 ~Moon~