T-shirts, Bowling & Coke
Merchandising. You gotta love it. Won't you just be the talk of the town when you strut your
stuff down the street in these new, stylish Sonic T-shirts? What better way to announce to
the world that you're so hopelessly obsessed with videogames, you paid Sega to advertise
their product. (Calvin, unsung boy genius.) And what's wrong with that? Would we advertise
the product if we were not pleased with it? Our lives would be meaningless without games, we
all know that. Don't let the delusion of "customer is always right" deceive you...the companies
are in control and there's nothing we can do about it. Knowing full-well that our destinies are
driven by a power greater than our own, we may as well display our unwavering obedience to the
powers that be. It wouldn't be wise to anger the gods. Having that said, would anyone out there
please pick me up one of these if they happen to be at the Tokyo Character Show?
The gods work together to herd us as the mindless drones we are. Here are actual pictures of
our Blue God working together with the God of Beverages to rally followers. This billboard is
in the Shibuya district of Tokyo, and has apparently been up for most of the summer. I have
decided to obey my god's command and begin drinking Coke. Even though I hate Coke.
But the gods are kind and loving. As long as we, blind and unquestioning, pay them our respects
and follow their commands, they shall give us what we need. (It's like Socialism except it
works.) Here, the almighty Blue One assumes control of a bowling alley, so that we may worship
Him and bowl our brains out at the same time. Truly, we are not worthy.
Let us pray.
Source: Sonic Team HP
