Just Sitting Here Wasting Our Precious Time since 1997

If you've been following Big Smile's antics on the newsboard, or perchance reside in the old world and read Nintendo Official Magazine, you may have noticed the most recent interview with the man who is usually (and quite erroneously) attributed with the creation of Sonic. The only point of interest is that he did indeed confirm (to no excitement on my end) the development of a new Sonic game outside of Sonic DS. His attitude about the whole thing is pretty funny (and perhaps revealing): though he still staunchly denies any plans or desire to create a sequel to NiGHTS - and even goes so far as to say they've turned down offers from third parties with such proposals - as soon as Sonic is mentioned, he's all like, "Oh yeah, we're doing another one." The rather incompetent (or perhaps utterly disinterested yet artificially enthusiastic, which would be my guess) interviewer even inquired about the possibility of Sonic being handed out to third party developers, as though it hasn't been happening on a regular basis for the past eight years. Again, Naka's kind of like, "Yeah, we've been doing that." His defense of old masterpieces would indicate that he isn't totally talking out his ass, but if that's the case, it's even worse because it means that they've long since abandoned the will to care for the Sonic series. Just like, "Yeah, doin' another one, 'cause that's what the kids are buying."

There will be a time in the future when we'll wrest control of these series back from the Pokémon generation. Sonic, Mega Man... they'll be cool and fun again. It has to happen. If I abandon that hope, I have nothing left.

Anyway... Every once in a while I like to do something like this. It's all based on true events, so cast your vote wisely. (You don't need to be registered to vote or reply on the poll board, so there's no commitment to drop your name into the unending horror novel that is the GHZ forum.)

I forget how long it's been since I took the beta Sonic Glossary down (based on the emails I've received about it, I would venture to assume that most of you have not), but anyway, it has finally returned as the Sonic Encyclopedia. Not as catchy, maybe, but a bit more descriptive, I think. As of this moment, it only contains entries pertaining to Sonic 1, but I'll continue to add entries chronologically by game, probably as I update the museum pages. For the moment I've decided not to include Zones in the glossary unless they're also major story locations (such as Casinopolis or Twinkle Park). As usual, please give me a kick most swift if you catch any mistakes, or if you think there's something I've missed. -- Green Gibbon!

On the next update, which should be within a couple of weeks, the fabled Sonic Glossary will finally be reopened with all entries pertaining to Sonic 1. In addition to other mindless things I am currently working on, because God forbid I use all of this newfound free time for anything constructive.

In somewhat more somber news, depending on your point of view, Deem Bristow, who has been the official English voice of the mighty Dr. Eggman since Sonic Adventure, has passed away. Of the many renditions of gaming's most relentless villain that I have heard - with respect to industry veteran Chikao Otsuka - Bristow's was hands down my favorite. Whoever Sega picks as the replacement voice of Eggman will have his work cut out for him. -- Green Gibbon!

In the two months since I last clicked on the WS FTP icon at the bottom of my screen, the world's largest retailer of soy burgers and annoying slogans has run another Sonic promotion. Most of the new toys are based on the Asian ones mentioned in the previous update, but some are original. I think there were a total of eight different toys, which would be the biggest Sonic fast food promotion yet, but distribution seems to have been handled based on location. Out of about ten Happy Meals from three different McDonald's, I ended up with only three different toys. And none of them were Big Fishing, darnit. (Incidentally, I think I only ate two of the burgers, and in both cases I regretted it afterwards.)

So I got my DS and made the run through Kimi no Tame Nara Shineru. I seem to be in the minority, but I don't really like it. Very few of the minigames are much fun at all, and some are just frustrating. That damn man-eating plant boss comes to mind, and you're forced to fight that atrocity twice. I'd have probably enjoyed it more if I hadn't played the new Made in Wario first... by the time I got to Kimishine, the novelty of the DS's odd assortment of interfaces had worn off. I didn't even like the one where you get to undress the girl.

I haven't achieved much of anything site-related since the last update... just the usual timeline and Café updates. I schlocked together a new title image, too. The silhouette girl from Kimishine seems to have a knack for getting herself into the most unsettling situations, so I figured she'd be a perfect victim for Cheese, the homicidal kamikaze Chao. I wish him a long and productive reign of terror. (Once again, the full-size version of the image can be found here for those interested in such a thing.)

Anyway, not much to say today, other than I am still alive and have not yet abandoned this inane hobby I call the GHZ. You will most likely not have to wait two months for the next update. -- Green Gibbon!

I've updated the Sonic's 1-2 pages with what I believe is the final addition (for the moment). Now all enemy names are listed in the original katakana as well as English, for those who disagree with my romanizations. I thought about doing the same for the item lists, but really, those aren't as ambiguous as the enemy names. (Not much dispute over the proper translation of "pointo maakaa.")

Segaholic's used his mad calculating skillz to create a news script that reads directly from the newsboard in the forum, so if you want to keep track of what's going on in the land of Sonicdom without having to venture into the abyss that is the GHZ message board, you may now click on the "Newsboard" link to the left. As of this writing, the second article from the top of the page includes a link to an ancient Sonic manga scanned and uploaded by HarihariSonic of Act Select, an essential Japanese fansite. The manga, which was a supplement to the Shogaku Yonensei serial briefly mentioned in the museum timeline, contains loads of valuable information, both about the previously mysterious manga series which it is part of and also, surprisingly, about the origin of two prominent characters. It seems that Charmy Bee and series staple Amy Rose had their humble beginnings in this comic, which was published in 1992, a year before the release of Sonic CD and three years before the release of Chaotix. The amusing story, written by Kenji Terada and illustrated by Sango Morimoto, takes place 5000 years in the past and offers yet another possible "origin" story explaining how Sonic gained his speed. Moreover, it features a buck-ass nekkid Eggman, and I know that's something nobody wants to miss. The story, quite obviously, is not official game continuity, but it's a valuable find nonetheless. Read and be enlightened.

Forum regular Spazz, whose main occupation seems to be scouring eBay for rare Sonic shit, has recently won an auction for a number of Asian Sonic McDonald's toys. They seem to be very similar to the LCD games that ran in the US a year ago, except much higher quality because they originate from a land that hasn't yet abandoned the concept of corporate ethics. (I'm told that even the burgers are of decent quality over there!) The promotion apparently ran in the month of September, though this is the first I'd heard of it. The games include: Sonic Skateboard, Tails Soccer, Knuckles Baseball, Amy & Rouge Tennis, Shadow Basketball, and Cream Flower Catch. They come with boxes and everything!

The Museum and Sonic Café pages have been updated, as per usual. In light of the aforementioned discovery regarding the Shogakukan manga, I've updated that chunk of the page with a bit more detail, which can be found in the year 1992. -- Green Gibbon!

Written by Jared "Green Gibbon!" Matte. Looks best on Internet Explorer at resolutions of 1024x768 or higher, not that that knowledge will persuade you to change your settings. Hosting provided by Emulation Zone and Emulation World. They're your daddy.