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Just Sitting Here Wasting Our Precious Time since 1997 January 23, 2005

Just a quick note... I'm resizing some of the tables around the site so it no longer looks like ass on resolutions higher than 1024x768. The main background image has already been changed, though, so as of right now most of the pages aren't properly aligned with it. It may be a while before I get the chance to fix all of it, but I think it should still be readable even if the text slops over onto those swell gray squares. (If you're monitor resolution's at 1024x768, you shouldn't notice any difference at all, so please disregard this. If it's lower than that, the site will look like ass either way.)

On the next update, which should be within a couple of weeks, the fabled Sonic Glossary will finally be reopened with all entries pertaining to Sonic 1. In addition to other mindless things I am currently working on, because God forbid I use all of this newfound free time for anything constructive.

In somewhat more somber news, depending on your point of view, Deem Bristow, who has been the official English voice of the mighty Dr. Eggman since Sonic Adventure, has passed away. Of the many renditions of gaming's most relentless villain that I have heard - with respect to industry veteran Chikao Otsuka - Bristow's was hands down my favorite. Whoever Sega picks as the replacement voice of Eggman will have his work cut out for him. -- Green Gibbon!

January 5, 2005

To my recollection, this is the longest the site has ever gone without an update. The last couple months have been a bit rocky, but I have survived to once again behold the light of day. After five and a half years and some fifteen grand (not counting supplies), I finally have my coveted BFA. I suppose my next line of business is to begin the process of desperately seeking employment somewhere that is not a goddamn retail store. Somebody please hire me. I draw a bit, I write a bit, I will work for ridiculously cheap, and I have friends who give free rim jobs, so I'm sure we can work something out.

In the two months since I last clicked on the WS FTP icon at the bottom of my screen, the world's largest retailer of soy burgers and annoying slogans has run another Sonic promotion. Most of the new toys are based on the Asian ones mentioned in the previous update, but some are original. I think there were a total of eight different toys, which would be the biggest Sonic fast food promotion yet, but distribution seems to have been handled based on location. Out of about ten Happy Meals from three different McDonald's, I ended up with only three different toys. And none of them were Big Fishing, darnit. (Incidentally, I think I only ate two of the burgers, and in both cases I regretted it afterwards.)

So I got my DS and made the run through Kimi no Tame Nara Shineru. I seem to be in the minority, but I don't really like it. Very few of the minigames are much fun at all, and some are just frustrating. That damn man-eating plant boss comes to mind, and you're forced to fight that atrocity twice. I'd have probably enjoyed it more if I hadn't played the new Made in Wario first... by the time I got to Kimishine, the novelty of the DS's odd assortment of interfaces had worn off. I didn't even like the one where you get to undress the girl.

I haven't achieved much of anything site-related since the last update... just the usual timeline and Café updates. I schlocked together a new title image, too. The silhouette girl from Kimishine seems to have a knack for getting herself into the most unsettling situations, so I figured she'd be a perfect victim for Cheese, the homicidal kamikaze Chao. I wish him a long and productive reign of terror. (Once again, the full-size version of the image can be found here for those interested in such a thing.)

Anyway, not much to say today, other than I am still alive and have not yet abandoned this inane hobby I call the GHZ. You will most likely not have to wait two months for the next update. -- Green Gibbon!

November 5, 2004

It seems that the crash in level 2 of SegaSonic is caused not by the protection, but most likely by an unrelated graphics bug. Apparently, there's no way to get around this. As the game is so close to being functional, I had really hoped to be able to use it to complete the SegaSonic museum page, but the gods have decided that the time is still not yet right for this mystery to be divulged once and for all. As a great Buddhist monk once said, "sadame ja." The entire first stage is playable with no problems, so I'll update the page to whatever extent I can. In the meanwhile, however, in a last desperate hope that somebody will find a way around the crash, I'll probably (finally) proceed with the updated Sonic Glossary, henceforth called the Encyclopedia.

I've updated the Sonic's 1-2 pages with what I believe is the final addition (for the moment). Now all enemy names are listed in the original katakana as well as English, for those who disagree with my romanizations. I thought about doing the same for the item lists, but really, those aren't as ambiguous as the enemy names. (Not much dispute over the proper translation of "pointo maakaa.")

Segaholic's used his mad calculating skillz to create a news script that reads directly from the newsboard in the forum, so if you want to keep track of what's going on in the land of Sonicdom without having to venture into the abyss that is the GHZ message board, you may now click on the "Newsboard" link to the left. As of this writing, the second article from the top of the page includes a link to an ancient Sonic manga scanned and uploaded by HarihariSonic of Act Select, an essential Japanese fansite. The manga, which was a supplement to the Shogaku Yonensei serial briefly mentioned in the museum timeline, contains loads of valuable information, both about the previously mysterious manga series which it is part of and also, surprisingly, about the origin of two prominent characters. It seems that Charmy Bee and series staple Amy Rose had their humble beginnings in this comic, which was published in 1992, a year before the release of Sonic CD and three years before the release of Chaotix. The amusing story, written by Kenji Terada and illustrated by Sango Morimoto, takes place 5000 years in the past and offers yet another possible "origin" story explaining how Sonic gained his speed. Moreover, it features a buck-ass nekkid Eggman, and I know that's something nobody wants to miss. The story, quite obviously, is not official game continuity, but it's a valuable find nonetheless. Read and be enlightened.

Forum regular Spazz, whose main occupation seems to be scouring eBay for rare Sonic shit, has recently won an auction for a number of Asian Sonic McDonald's toys. They seem to be very similar to the LCD games that ran in the US a year ago, except much higher quality because they originate from a land that hasn't yet abandoned the concept of corporate ethics. (I'm told that even the burgers are of decent quality over there!) The promotion apparently ran in the month of September, though this is the first I'd heard of it. The games include: Sonic Skateboard, Tails Soccer, Knuckles Baseball, Amy & Rouge Tennis, Shadow Basketball, and Cream Flower Catch. They come with boxes and everything!

The Museum and Sonic Café pages have been updated, as per usual. In light of the aforementioned discovery regarding the Shogakukan manga, I've updated that chunk of the page with a bit more detail, which can be found in the year 1992. -- Green Gibbon!

October 19, 2004

I've made another few miniscule additions to the previously updated museum pages, because evidently I'm a perfectionist only when it comes to things that do not matter. I've also updated the Sonic Eraser page to the new format, though there wasn't much to change. So anyway, assuming I'm going to proceed chronologically with this series of updates -- which is my preferred method because most of my life happens chronologically -- the next page in line is SegaSonic the Hedgehog, which is in desperate need of a thorough dusting. I didn't notice precisely when it happened, but the game protection that's been keeping Sonic fans from experiencing this forbidden fruit through the wonder of MAME has been emulated to a point, bringing the game very close to the realm of playability. I remember trying it a few months back and making it clear through to Icy Isle before encountering any major problems, though when I tried again a few days ago I ran into some insurmountable control issues. Now when I tell Sonic to go anywhere, he makes a quick dash in the indicated direction, then promptly screeches to a halt and reverses to face the opposite direction. I guess it's some kind of quirk in the way MAME emulates the analog controls, though toy with the options as I may, I can convince neither Sonic nor Ray nor Mighty to follow my advice as to where they should be running. I suppose once I get this control nonsense sorted out (if indeed it's possible to sort), I'll update the page. -- Green Gibbon!

This page has been accessed 214781 times since the site last moved on 01/15/04. Since the site opened in May, 1997: your guess is as good as mine. Send all complaints to Jared "Green Gibbon!" Matte. Hosting provided by Emulation Zone and Emulation World. They're your daddy.